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Reviews for Too Many For One

By : Dreamgirl556
  • From ANON - Staci on August 16, 2005
    Wow. That was intense.

    Hard to imagine. Just because I "know" the charcters so well, and wouldn't expect ANYTHING like that out of them lol.
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  • From ANON - Dreamgirl on February 22, 2004
    Hi, Rick, if you are reading this, to answer your question about the second part, yes, there is a second part. However, I think this site only allows ratings R, NC-17 or extreme or something like that. The second part is only like PG-13 and much less intense so that's why I didn't post it. Although you'll never guess that after Susan was raped, she started up a relationship with a guy who was trying to get Susan through her awful ordeal. You'll probably never imagine who she's pairing up with. I don't know why I chose him, though, but I did. If you still are interested in the second part, just let me know and I'll send it to you by email.

    THanks.
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  • From ANON - CristhianDena on February 11, 2004
    Great sory it seemed very real. nd the part where they gve susan medical attention looks very profesional like somthing just out of ER. Great job at capturing the 'magic' i could actually feel the pain and fear that susan was feeling.
    ps-if its not too much to ask could u review one of my stories,? its under xmen the movie and it is called starting fires
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  • From ANON - Rick on December 26, 2003
    hey just wondering if there was gonna be a second part?

    hope this. is.

    good start:)
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  • From ANON - Dreamgirl on December 02, 2003
    Umm, hello??? Of course, they wouldn't even really do this! That's why this is a fanFICTION! It's fiction, remember? Hello?? When writing a fiction, you're allowed to make any characters into anything. Have you read other fictions or is this the one one you've read? What about the next story below, "Medical Attention"? Would Carter and Kovac really do that to each other? Of course not. We all write stuff we want and create something and make characters the way we want them. That's fanfiction. And it's not ER? Well, the characters are from ER and if you wanted something medical, see the end of the fic? They treated Susan. Used terms like BP, rape kit, gurney etc... I thought that was "ER". It does happen. Some sexually assulted females (or even males, maybe) do come into the ER to get treated.

    Good point about the plot and why they would do this. I didn't decide why they would but I should have. As for grammar, I can look it over again but I would think it's off because there's a lot of yelling from those men and so much going on so I probably should've slowed down in my fic so I criterite down more proper grammar. Everything was happening fast and I guess it was a lot like a fantasy and someone would wanna go ahead and write them all down instead of stepping back and saying, "what the heck am I writing??"

    Oh and where Susan said she knows that Mark and Elizabeth were having problems, I probably should've showed what she meant which would hint you where this story is taking place or the time it's happening. I thought you might've figured it out if you remembered season 8. When S sai said Mark and Elizabeth were having problems, that's when Elizabeth moved out with Ella after Rachel left some Ectasy (sorry if it's misspelled) and Ella swallowed some. I think the name of the eppy was "Damage was Done." Anyways, that's what Susan was talking about but that's what I should've mentioned.

    And I know around that time, Dave wasn't on the show. But I've seen lots of fics where Dave and Susan were actually working at the same time in the ER. On ER, Dave was already fired when Susan showed up but a lot of authors wrote that they worked in the ER as if Dave wasn't fired or maybe re-hired or something like that. Like I said, it's fiction so we all make characters and things different than they really are from the show, "ER".

    At least I made dialogues with quotes which made it easy to read the quotes. I hate it when people write everything then start putting all quotes together. Like something like this, "Blah blah blah", "blah, blah, blah, blah", "blah, blah, blah." Don't you hate that?? I do! Iallyally should've looked like this:
    "Blah, blah, Blah."
    "Blah, blah, blah,"
    Blah, blah, blah."
    That's a lot easier to read.

    Anyways, I'm outta here. Thanks for the review!
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  • From on December 02, 2003
    O_o
    The characters in this fanfiction were so out of character, it was like it wasn't even ER! Nobody behaved like they normally do. Mark, Dave, Luka and John are all good guys, and would never do this. You didn't even explain their reasoning behind doing this to Susan. Did they all suddenly wake up one morning going, "Man that Susan's hot, I'd really like to rape her"?

    No plot, OOC, poor writing, some spelling errors, atrocious grammar.
    2/10
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