Click Here!

Reviews for Last Chance

By : Hazeleyed
  • From ANON - kitty on November 02, 2005
    Hey, just so you know, 60 miles per hour is in no way fast. It is a normal speed for driving to work. Usually when people speed in the states for baby purposes they can get up to 100 mph. Then a cop invariably pulls them over. Then they tell they cop what's up, and he escorts them. :) BUt anyhow, we'll pretend there were twisty country roads and anything over 60 would have been fatal ;).

    Also, cute Firefly/Serenity reference. Har har.

    Great story!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Golden Grasshopper on November 01, 2005
    A beautiful ending to a beautiful story. I grew very attached to your Grissom and Sara. Oh...and somebody has been watching a little too much Firefly, huh? lol. I love that show too! Thanks for sharing this story.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Vlad_the_Impish on November 01, 2005
    I just started reading CSI fanfiction and if this is an example of the quality, I'm going to be reading it for a long time to come. Excellent story.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Lisa on October 29, 2005
    AWESOME!!!! AMAZING!!!!! STUPENDOUS!!!!!! This is without a doubt my favorite fan fic on this WHOLE ENTIRE SITE!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a WONDERFUL author and I just LOVE this story!!!! I HOPE YOU POST A NEW CHAPTER SOON!!!!!!!!!!! This is a great, realistic, detailed, believable, best story on this site!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Sina on October 24, 2005
    Oh please go on!
    i want to know what's going to happen! :)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - tj on October 21, 2005
    we are still hanging we hope you update soon. i have enjoyed this story.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - CSHighland on October 21, 2005
    hazel... I've read this fic several times and am very glad you are continuing it... It is an amazing fic on several levels, but I must truly complement you on your sensitive handling of the fertility issues facing Sara in the fic.

    I am 31 and have been undergoing infertility treatment for over three years now. Though I'm not perimenopausal as Sara is in your fic, I am unable to conceive and carry a child naturally and thus far all treatment has failed. I don't know if you've experienced this problem yourself or just read about it, but your portrayal of Sara - her emotions, her doubts, her fears and her pain - is very accurate in my experience and written so well and so true.

    I am a major CSI fan - particularly a G/S shipper - and identify with the character of Sara Sidle a lot, but this fic made me feel that connection to an even greater degree. It isn't simply good smut or good G/S romance - it's a good story about a tough issue with a happy resolution [well, as much as I've read so far...] that gives me hope.

    Keep writing. Great job.

    CS
    Report Review

  • From ANON - ms. tingles on October 01, 2005
    i know u must have a life and are busy or whatever...but could you lease update the mother fucking story?? uve already written 22 chapters..so you might as well finish it..come on..plus by the time you have written the next chapter i have to read back because i cant remember what was on the one before..JUST DO IT
    Report Review

  • From ANON - tj on September 17, 2005
    i just spent 2 days reading 22 chapters. great story and you're a great arthor.please don't leave us hanging.updat soon.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - kek on September 12, 2005
    thank you so much for updating it! ive been waiting for so long...i read loads of grisson/sara fan fiction because i am just obsessed with the 2..and i have to tell you that i have only ever read 2 that stayed true to the characters, this one and another one called growing up (on FF). i really like your story.

    at first i thought u were gonna make sara loose the baby because it would be too hard to incorporate it into the story..but so far everything is going really well (despite the memory loss and the car accident)...

    do you think u could write some more sex though..those are my fav. parts..

    KEEP IT UP- I LOVE IT
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Ithilin Palandiriel on September 06, 2005
    Great job! I know how hard it is to capture the voices and mannerisms of your characters but you have done a fine job of exicuting it! That said, I would like to offer some constructive criticism that may help you to better improve your writing skills.

    First of all I found numerous instances where words were jumbled ot doubled. I know that it happens when cutting and pasting but do be aware of it. Check your work to make sure that it is readable before you post. Yes, sometimes it's easy to forget, especially when you want to get that next chapter out of you hair but do not sacrifice quality for speed.

    Second. you should shy away from using British slang and sayings. Sara and Grissom live in Las Vegas. They would more than likely not use such terms as "Sod off" or "tidy up", while I don't believe that Gris would say "fuck" I'll let that one slide as it is a common enough expression here in the states. I do understand that British English is your native language but The members of CSI speak American English. Just something to remember.

    Third, and this is a big pet peeve of mine but it should be considered a big no no in all writing, don't use dialectal language. Yes Nicky is a Texan and he does have a certain drawl to his speech but don't try to put the dialect in the dialogue it makes it harder to read. I will admit that I am just as guilty of doing it but I only did it for one scene and the character useing the dreaded dialect was never heard from again. It bugs me that professional writers do this as well. I return books that have this throughout the book. While the Texan accent and dialect aren't that hard to understand, or write for that matter, try reading something that is almost entirely written with the Scottish Brogue. Just don't do it.

    Fourth: While your description is verry good it would make for easier reading if you didn't use incomplete sentences or one sentence paragraphs. The latter can be used to great effect if it isn't over used but in 22 chapters it was used to profusion.

    Lastly is Murphy's Law. I kept waiting to see what what other monkey wrench you would come up with. I do understand that it was a lovely angsty piece but please! some of the situations seemed contrived at best and laughable at worst, trust me I was laughing at some of them. No one has that much bad luck on a good day let alone in one year! what's next? The car breaks down in the middle of the Navada Desert, both their cells stop working and Grissom has to deliver the baby himself? I sincerely hope that not the direction you're going. Enough is enough. Get them back to Vegas and to a hospital.they have been through enough angst.

    Feel free to contact me at the above address. Over all, I thought it was a marvelous story and I can't wait to read the next chapter it just needs a little tweeking.

    Ithilin
    Report Review

  • From ANON - committed on September 05, 2005
    This is a great story, I'm really enjoying it. I can't wait for the next chapter to be up.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - elizabeth on September 05, 2005
    This is a great story....I just love it. I've been checkin up on it whenever, whereever I'm online, reading every new chapter as soon as possible. This is great! I can't wait for the next chapter.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Deb on August 31, 2005
    That last line is too funny. I am glad Sara was not hurt, this story rocks and I love updates!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Annie on August 10, 2005
    Hi Hazeleyes

    WOW! words fail this story is so good I told you once before I would pay to read your work. To have the pleasure of reading it and commenting is wonderful. Next chapter please and do kick Ecklie's bahookie! PS did Mary become your mother in law? What will happen to Warrick and Cathy> Does Lyndsay have issues with Warrick? Does Greg find anyone and if so whom. Will Nick find Love> Can you finish the tale i cannot wait

    Much thanks Annie
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!