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Reviews for Make Something UpBy : tallis |
- From Siarra on October 20, 2005
If ever there was a fandom that needed more slash, it's this one, and I'm glad to see you pick up the keyboard and deliver. All in all this was a nice fic but it could've used a bit more build up. The solitary angsting was nicely done but after Mal went to pick up Jayne, things got a little OOC. They both could've done a bit more musing on the lines of finding each other attractive before getting down to business. Impromptu comfort sex is a good idea for a fic but this one unfortunately felt a bit rushed, especially with Jayne's previous near death situation. Another thing was changing the tense for the sex scene, something that didn't compliment your writing style at all. Also using brackets was downright annoying and you could've easily written the things in.
Otherwise this was one sweet fic with a very delicious pairing. Hopefully you'll write more of these.
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