Reviews for Truth of dareBy : robr2228 |
I almost think your typo whose first was done for foreshadowing purposes.
Overall, I'm not quite certain how I feel about this. While I appreciate not having everything described in minute detail, if the point of your story was, as you say, to "do it" for the reader, then perhaps a bit more emphasis on how Declan "works faster" is in order. Was he only able to get half of Kyle's erection into his mouth and he's now palming the other half? Was he able to swallow the entire length, deepthroating the other boy?
Also, as innocent as Kyle is, I don't see him closing his throat up enough to force Josh's ejaculate to be expelled through his nostrils. He'd be more likely to back away completely at the first taste of semen.
Regardless, it was certainly an interesting snippet.
Happy writing to you.
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