Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Wounded Warrior Project

By : pittwitch
  • From FairySlayer on November 16, 2010
    Usually I'm reluctant to give OCs a chance because so often they're misused, but in this case Anisa acts as a good "guest character" like in many real episodes.

    The story has me very intrigued because the consultant has shown at least little bits of interest in everyone on the team, yet I have to wonder if that's both a bit of misdirection to keep the team members guessing and also a way to make DiNozzo and McGee a little more hungry for her attention. I also have to admit that her explanations about the staged / amateur BDSM evidence made a lot of sense and provided some interesting insight. (Maybe that would count as public-service credits for the TV network...? Maybe not.)

    You had good command over the dialogue, especially Gibbs' always holding control with his subtlety combined with his commanding demeanor. That's a great bit of consistency, as is DiNozzo's constant scheming for the lascivious and McGee's awkwardness. Abby's exuberant reaction to meeting the Mistress was great, especially almost blurting out her secret identity; it's also interesting that Abby is a pretty serious fan of Anisa's.

    Anisa's spoken affect fits in perfectly with having an Israeli accent, showing perhaps a little less mastery over English than Ziva. The visitor's teasing of DiNozzo in the morgue made me laugh, and then her not so subtle teasing in the elevator shows that she really knows how to reel in her victim, er, audience.

    A couple of typos stood out:
    * Anthony's surname is DiNozzo — but don't fret because I left a story up for well over a year with the wrong name for one of the main characters. ;)
    * “Please do, dear?” (the question mark)
    * 'reached her eyes, or a change.'

    Sometimes the pronouns came a little early and I wasn't sure who was being referred to until a sentence or so later. Sometimes, at least in my opinion, some dialogue would have more impact if its attribution and even the associated actions come before it. But take that comment with a grain of salt because it's in the realm of stylistic choice, and I don't really know what works "best" for most readers.

    This is something I can definitely get into, and I bet it will be even more enjoyable than a typical episode. Thanks for sharing. :)

    Report Review

  • From BipedalAsexual on October 30, 2010
    I'm quite impressed! I'm not much into fanfiction now-a-days, but this is now going to go on me "To Read" list! The only thing I noticed was a word mix-up in a sentence in Ch.2. I forget what word, but it's the sentence where Ziva is laughing and it reached her eyes. :)
    Report Review

  • From LadyLeanne on October 12, 2010
    Please update this story soon!! I really like it!!! =D

    XXXX
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!