This was lovely!  Fantastic fic and an AU that slots nicely into canon so my mind isn't overworked, lol!  I love that I can imagine on my own what happens next because the canon wasn't completely thrown out.  AND you made Wincest acceptable, even preferable.  Bravo!

Your fic doesn't show that it is complete.  I'm afraid you may be losing readers who abhor WIPs because of that.  Just letting you know... I almost passed by, but liked the description too much to let it go.

When you know it's been too long since you read a wonderful story: You have to go back into the review board to see when you last reviewed it to find out what chapter you were on. Doh!

Fourteen

I love Dean's excitement in the beginning of this chapter - his energy is practically tangible. He really does sound like a schoolboy about to score with his first crush, which is endearing, especially given the complexity of the situation.

I can almost see the confusion on Cas's face as he's relaying Zachariah's message. While I can fully comprehend Dean's reaction, I can't help but feel some small sympathy for Cas, being trapped between his place as minion and his burgeoning curiosity - his need to know precisely why Dean is so adamant in his position.

I absolutely love Ruby's description of their location. Priceless! And pardon me while I don't have any sympathy for the fact that she can feel the ambient temperature. rant deleted Moving on...

The insight into her thoughts on their using Sam was interesting. I like the way that you capture her character - even if it's a character I'm not fond of.

Thank you for having it be the snow on his shoulders that caught her eye! I have never understood why it's always the footsteps the bad guy can see in the falling snow and not what surely has to be collecting on the body that's just not there - I really liked that tidbit.

It makes Dean sound like so much more of a pervert when he refers to Sam as his baby brother. But I was thoroughly amused by their interaction in the diner, particularly Dean's assertion of Sam's reaction to his erection.

And now, I'm glad I waited til there was another chapter, else I'd've been highly upset with that cliffhanger...

Fifteen

...I'm not pleased with Chuck about now. However, having said that, I do like that you're addressing the fact that the person writing out the events Sam and Dean are experiencing does have emotions regarding what he's writing.

I like how you describe his turmoil over the scene he's writing, and how you have him oblivious to his surroundings as he continues the scene.

The way you described the blank page brought up a question for me though: what happens if he writes something, re-reads it, doesn't like it, and deletes it? Since those events are happening in real time for Sam and Dean, what happens to them? From your perspective as a writer, I'm just curious as to what could possibly occur after an event they lived was erased?

Moving on from tangent:

The way you capture the fear Sam feels, and even Ruby's frustration, is very well done. While I abhor the subject, I can honestly say that you've done the scene well.

I do like how you have Dean cognizant of Sam's emotional state when they are in the hotel room. I like that even though Sam can enjoy the kiss, he is also unable to fully lose himself within it, given what he has just experienced - and nearly-experienced.

Sixteen

I'm very, very grateful for the way that you're handling their reactions to the attempted rape. I'm glad that Dean has the sense not to push Sam for anything, even though he dearly wants to pursue their budding relationship. I'm also intrigued by Sam's thought that there is something he's missing of what Ruby was trying to accomplish beyond the binding itself.

I'm looking forward to the explanations Bobby will bring when he arrives, as I'm sure Dean will be non-to-pleased at having been kept in the dark as to so many of their suspicions for this length of time.

As always, I've thoroughly enjoyed the read, and I'm very much looking forward to more! Thank you for sharing.
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