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Reviews for Just A Game

By : MoreCharahPlease

From ANON - Boboknows on February 16, 2016
Enjoyed this, as always. I don't mind big chunks of plot in my smut, so I may be more open to this than some readers. I didn't find Chuck's reactions to be unrealistic. He cares for Sarah, he just felt that it wasn't being reciprocated because of her fears, as he alluded to in their fight. And Sarah is still as confused as ever. She knows she blew it, she knows she misses him, but she is still too afraid to accept that she is emotionally flee to him. She is broken to the point that she almost has an adult version of reactive attachment disorder. He cares enough to be worried about her being hurt/stalked, but he won't fall back in bed with her without her reaching out and apologizing. That talk won't happen at her workplace, I think.
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From ANON - AT90 on February 16, 2016
Probably my least favorite chapter of your story so far...sorry :(

I didn't like Sarah accepting another guy's number, her contradictions are getting irritating, I understand she is confused about everything, but it starts to get tiring (to read) when she won't even be honest with herself internally.

I also didn't like that the tech guy just 'happened' to be Chuck, mostly because it removed Sarah's responsibility in what should have been HER move to get in contact with him, calling him once isn't enough of an attempt to 'fix' things between them.

That leads me on to my next point....I didn't like that Chuck was so open to her when they ran into each other at her work, immediately asking how she was/if she was ok goes against EVERYTHING the 5 weeks~ of no calling suggested. It's a big big contradiction, especially when we can't see Chuck's internal thoughts. I really think this whole thing would have worked better if Chuck was distant and it took actions from Sarah to get him to open up again....him being so open makes no sense at all given their last fight.

Her comparison between Bryce and Chuck (about her being upset) makes no sense either, you have her saying she didn't love Bryce but at the same time your words are having her reactions highlight how she did love him and how heartbroken she was/is. It makes her feelings for Bryce look more serious than anything she might have towards Chuck. Once again...I understand you are writing her as confused but you can't keep being inconsistent when describing her history.

I also just feel that overall the threat on Sarah and her being 'hurt' is a cheap way to get them back together
and talking, it completely sidesteps what conversations and actions should have been taken and it gives Sarah a 'free pass' to call him (I will be gobsmacked if you have Chuck call her).

Sarah HAD to apologize this chapter and she didn't....and it let the whole chapter down if you ask me.

Well written as always, but I just disagree with how you had Sarah approach this, while Chuck's reaction to Sarah makes zero sense in the context of the 5 week communication silence.
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From ANON - Dernik on February 16, 2016
Great chapter, really enjoyed. Can't wait for the next chapter.
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From ANON - jtc on February 15, 2016
Alright, this was my favorite chapter so far and it barely had any sex in it. I'm happy you introduced this little mystery as well, very intriguing.

Some small criticisms: It felt a bit too coincidental that it just happened to be Chuck who got called in to examine Sarah's laptop, but it's not a big deal. Who recommended him? Orion?

Also, Sarah's fear of commitment is starting to feel a bit too strong. Sure, Bryce hurt her, but considering she was never head over heels in love with him, it feels kinda silly to me at this point. But again, not a biggie. This is definitely the best Chuck story I've seen here at aff.org, you should consider posting it at the M rated section of fanfiction.net to get more audience :)

Thanks, can't wait for the next chapter!
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From ANON - Anon on February 15, 2016
Big fan of this. Always looking forward for an update. Great to see additional plot
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From ANON - exelcior on February 12, 2016
Superb chapter, can't wait for the next one. Hopefully Chuck doesn't let Sarah off easy and continue as if nothing has happened.
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From ANON - Boboknows on February 12, 2016
As always, the sex is hot, and happy to see you move the plot along. Sarah is scared and trying to avoid facing her insecurities, and has told Chuck that she has no connection with him outside of their sexual activities. I think Chuck reached out to her as a friend with relevant skills while in a challenging situation, and will read this rejection as the two of them not being friends. I doubt he will want to continue their activities with someone who isn't a friend, and expect him to step away for now. Should be fun to watch this play out.
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From ANON - rcmc on February 11, 2016
Ooh, events are coming to a head! Can't say enough good things about this series, great characterization, hot sex, interesting take on the characters. Can't wait to see things play out.
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From sleepygirl78 on February 05, 2016
Thanks for the update! I enjoyed this chapter. I think it was most definitely time for a change of rhythm in their relationship. I don't mind whichever direction the story is taking because I'm pretty confident it will be very well written in any case. And that's why I'll still be here checking for updates!
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From ANON - PFE on February 03, 2016
Ehoh: I thought I was addressing specific questions but fair enough.

To MCP: My overall opinion of the story alone is thoroughly on record and remains unchanged. I love it!

I'm looking forward to seeing Chuck and Sarah's next encounter. And wondering how much time will transpire before it happens. And what events will transpire before it happens. And exactly how the dynamic will change based on this most recent chapter.

Fantastic story. I'm enjoying the complicated dynamic of the FB premise when it isn't exactly what one of them (or even both?) really wants...

anonnn: Excellent point on the "unreliable narrator" element. I hadn't considered it from that perspective because she's not exactly lying to us. But yet she is because she's lying to herself.

anon: I never gave the asset/handler rules much power except for: don't get caught!

I think Sarah was just emotionally immature(?) and didn't know how to handle those feelings. Much less how to hide them if she admitted them. Only then did the rules become a secondary problem because she'd be removed if they were discovered. I've always seen her as emotionally damaged (just not necessarily because of Bryce).
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From ANON - Ehoh on February 03, 2016
I'm not going to argue with you guys, because we are going to go around in circles about this in a minute.

Suffice to say that

1) Nobody here (at least me) is trying to dictate what MCP writes here, so stop implying that I am suggesting that.
2) This has nothing to do with what version of "Chuck" I think this is, the proof is in how Sarah views Chuck as being. We've seen chapters of that. We have enough knowledge that this version of Chuck isn't that distant from the one we see on the show.
3) "She's been honest with Chuck" = Completely irrelevant to what I'm saying. It doesn't matter what pre-defined rules were stated. They are human beings with emotions, the rules don't stop that from happening or developing, it doesn't stop bonds from being formed.
4) "I'm gonna be a little whiny and point out that it's a little condescending to declare that I (and others) don't see it / haven't considered it" - It's happening on both sides here.
5) " He agreed to this arrangement" Once again irrelevant. You can agree at a certain point in time and feel 100% ok about a situation but that doesn't mean you would agree to those conditions 6 months down the road, 12 months. This argument would have never happened at the start of their discussion about rules, the situation has changed (ie, this is a line in the sand moment)
6) "She has reminded him on multiple occasions that this is a purely sexual arrangement (why were those occasions not a "line in the sand"?)" - Because something isn't a problem until it is. Why can't this argument be the 'line in the sand' moment? It is clearly implied (albeit through sarcasm) that Chuck has a problem with it now. All it takes is the thought to be released out in the open and things can change very quickly (like what has happened). You really think the next time they fuck (because I agree, MCP will 100% have a sex scene in the next chapter) isn't going to be hella awkward? - There's a reason why it will be.

This isn't about pointing fingers at Sarah or Chuck or "choosing sides". And we can all argue about subtext and sarcasm and everything else, either way...the fact is that Sarah doesn't want a relationship right now, she doesn't want anything deeper. It's evidently clear, her being scared doesn't change that simple truth. This isn't about putting fault on somebody, so she doesn't require defending.

She is free to pursue whatever she wants, if she wants to bang 50 guys then go for it, but you cannot have a fuck buddy relationship when one person wants to drop the 'fuck buddy' part of it. It doesn't work, it's a trainwreck waiting to happen.

Chucks' reaction at the end of chapter 17 clearly shows (to me) that he now has a problem with it. What he agreed, their pre-defined rules etc. are completely irrelevant now. Chuck has shown (through sarcasm) that he is no longer happy with the situation and the distance Sarah is trying to maintain with them. What they agreed in the past is pointless, it's changed for Chuck. They're human beings, everything constantly changes.

I agree with a lot of what you guys are saying but it feels like you're using past conversations (or past actions) in the story to explain why there's been no line in the sand moment, you're trying to explain why Chuck would still fuck her based off rules/conversations that aren't relevant any more. The argument at the end of chapter 17 has invalidated their rules, it's torn the contract up.

That's not to say that Chuck won't just bang her and distance himself to "prove" a point to her, but I really do feel that the 'healthy' response to this is for their arrangement to end. Chuck and Sarah want different things, the argument put everything they were tip toeing around into the light. Things cannot go back to the way they were before, not without significant acting on the part of both of them.

The only 'realistic' way that they fuck next chapter (MY OPINION ONLY) is if Chuck treats her exactly how she wants to be treated, remove the 'comfortable'. Sex and nothing else, no conversations afer, no meals, sex and leave. Show her that she is being completely ludicrous....But even that action isn't honest, it's not truthful by Chuck if he were to try it. Chuck knows what he wants from her, which is why their arrangement SHOULD end. The 'line in the sand' moment was the argument at the end of the chapter 17, because it SHOULD (my opinion only) 100% change everything between them.

That's all I have to say, it's clear we don't and will not agree with this. We don't need to change each others mind here anyway.
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From ANON - anon on February 03, 2016
Great stuff, after these events I can't see Chuck wanting to continue being just fuck buddies. Granted, you've written a sex scene in every single chapter so far, so maybe you'll get them there in the next one too, but there's a pretty high chance that it would feel false at least to this reader. Curious to see what you decide to do and how I'll feel about it. If Chuck decides to end things (and I hope he does), I wouldn't be completely against Sarah trying to replace him with someone else (and quickly noticing that he can't be replaced, of course), although I'm sure some other readers would really hate that.

Also, this situation isn't comparable to S1 like some readers seem to think. The *main* thing that kept them apart in canon was the fact that Chuck was an asset and Sarah was his handler, and that's not the case here.
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From ANON - PFE on February 03, 2016
My main point was (and I admit, I could be WAY wrong!!) that I'm pretty sure next chapter WILL have a sex scene in it. So it might behoove folks to start wrapping their heads around how that might happen instead of declaring that it won't or can't. Read on if you're interested in why lil ole me thinks it's not unreasonable...

I absolutely see what YOU'RE saying about Chuck's POV. I'm gonna be a little whiny and point out that it's a little condescending to declare that I (and others) don't see it / haven't considered it. It absolutely COULD go the way you describe. (That's actually one of the coolest things about this story is that from Sarah's POV it keeps you guessing).

But there simply IS another interpretation. And I HAVE considered Chuck's POV quite a lot:

He agreed to this arrangement
(if someone wanted to impose their preferred characterization THAT would have been the time to complain not as we follow that premise through its evolution)

He realized what we all would suspect, that it would be difficult to not fall for Sarah and has been falling for her hard

She has reminded him on multiple occasions that this is a purely sexual arrangement (why were those occasions not a "line in the sand"?) but he still persistently thinks there's something deeper that she's not ready to admit even though she's not volunteering any information on that

She is slipping and starting to realize she feels more for him than she is willing to admit and I think he's picking up on that

He probably arranged this "get away" thinking it might move things forward (and we DO see her thoughts starting to become more clear in this chapter that she IS "falling" for him ("cares about him")

This could have all been speculation that he "sees" what she's really thinking and what she's afraid of... Except, for the first time, here he actually calls her out on it!

...

More on him "calling her out" (sort of); The end of the chapter makes it clear (to me) that he does NOT think she really considers this just a sexual arrangement but rather that there's something else going on:
"I�m with someone who has a badge...I�m not your girlfriend, okay?...You think I don�t know that you�re not my girlfriend?�
- Oops. (For both of them)

The whole mocking section (see why it's important not to assume you know what the other person is thinking like Sarah did?) "You�re so emotionally bulletproof that all of these months have meant nothing to you outside of the sex, but man, I just got totally lost in my emotions because I�m a sensitive guy.�
- seems to me he's saying that she's not as emotionally disconnected as she's saying but neither is he obsessed with being her "boyfriend". She's the one constantly picking at that detail (protesting too much). He just wants some indication that he's not entirely wasting his time (other than the hot sex).

�You�re scared...that if you don�t set up that line, that you won�t be able to keep this just a physical thing.�
- totally calling her out

"And I�m perfectly clear about what you want from this relationship.��... "At least, if I wasn�t before, I am now.�
- and gave her a (brief) chance to say otherwise

"I�m trying to protect you.�..."That�s bullshit.�
- she's talking about the police thing. He's not. Actually, she's probably not either but doesn't realize it. Protecting him from her? He's calling her out...AGAIN.

Chuck calling her and not a police unit that could have responded more quickly was stupid (although it seems maybe he was bluffing a bit by calling "law enforcement" but not actually making a 911 call then it got out of hand or maybe he DID think of her first like she said and it was just dumb). But...

...

Back to Sarah:
My impression was she's not actually mad at him for being stupid. She's not MAD at all. What she is, is terrified that he could have been more seriously beaten. Or stabbed. Or shot.

She's scared of losing him.

Unfortunately in her messed up brain that translated in her lashing out about the other thing.

What does it all mean? (My guess)
The only difference between the original arrangement and every time she has "corrected" his romantic leanings since is not what Sarah says here (more forcefully and muddied by the police response thing) but what HE has finally pushed back and said.

She hasn't drawn a line in the sand. Or at least not a different line than she's been drawing all along. But HE has issued a challenge and he's right on the money.

She's scared. Of (as she said herself in her own head) of damn near everything EXCEPT Chuck himself. The thing she's risking losing by not facing her fear.

Is she suddenly less likely to eventually come around? She's actually closer than she has been to admitting her feelings to herself.

Is Chuck just finally fed up with all the amazing sex with only his perception/hope that there's something deeper lurking underneath her fears? Maybe he's tired of trying but that's NOT because the situation has changed.

Clearly his frustration has bubbled over but assuming he's done with her entirely may or may not be the case.

That's my perception of Chuck here without defending or justifying anything Sarah has done or said.

Now, no matter which interpretation you prefer, if the story holds to its pattern there WILL be a sex scene next chapter. It may be a faceless new (series of) fuck buddies for Sarah or it may be with a more reticent / less hopeful Chuck.

But my entire point was: if it's Chuck, an interpretation DOES exist that supports that.

He is still hopeful that he's right about her and that she'll eventually admit it. I would prefer to see her do that slowly, try to win his trust back quietly, and keep him from giving up on her than some melodramatic sob-fest/breakdown. He might try to keep his emotions out of it as he's (mostly) tried all along. CLEARLY this is going to change the dynamic but it doesn't have to lock the brakes.

There is no indication that they cross paths in any other way than a little Hot Line Bling (I feel so douchey for typing that). They're not coworkers or even work in the same general location. They don't meet socially or have friends in common. If Chuck wants to know whether he's right he can a) wait for her to throw herself at his feet, issue a mea culpa and beg for his forgiveness (FAT FUGGING CHANCE) or b) keep loving her and HOPE she admits what he thinks he knows about her.

Because you asked: THAT'S why I think he goes to her when she calls. Eternal hope.

...

What JoeBob said: like in "Truth" (minus the truth serum) I could see a few more rendezvous, him about to leave after he has challenged her on this, a few booty calls later, asking her point blank if it will ever mean anything more to her than just sex.

If she lies and says it doesn't then sure: "well then, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did but I can't do this anymore. Goodbye." (I hope not. That just defers the same "corner painting". But I could see it.)

...

P.S. - as I flirt with writing a novel-length review, I want to mention something that anonnn pointed out. I usually despise first person... Unless it's done really, really well. Hunger Games is roughly my line. It has to be at least that well done. Show one character's thoughts DEEPLY but still hint at the perceptions of others. I think MCP is doing an amazing job with that and I think my perceptions (even if they're all wrong) are built from well laid keys in the story. It's one of the best fan fiction stories (without qualification) I've read even without the erotica style sex. That's really impressive to me using first person.

PPS - if I'm wrong about ALL of this, I'm bought-in and will definitely still read!

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From ANON - JoeBob on February 03, 2016
Up front, MCP doesn't need me or anyone else to dictate how her fictional characters will react. She's doing just fine all on her own. Where ever she takes this is fine with me.

I'm only pointing out that Chuck and Sarah were in a very similar situation in S1.

In Truth, Chuck asked Sarah if the thing they had was ever going anywhere. She said no. We know that she wanted more with Chuck just as much as he did, maybe more, because of her admission to Casey. Honest people could debate if Sarah told him no because of duty. I happen to believe that she told him no because she was afraid of being vulnerable;e in a relationship. So where they are in this story, is basically where they were at the end of Truth. What did Chuck do? He broke up with her and went looking for something more with Deli Lou. What did Sarah do? She got jealous, kissed him on the dock, then got scared and pushed him away, before eventually making up with him.

So, if MCP decides, she could easily follow that same path and it would be completely in character.

Just saying,
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From ANON - anonnn on February 03, 2016
I get what you're saying. But you aren't the author. MCP is the author. So you don't really know what Chuck will or won't do going forward. All we can do as readers is surmise and wait to read what MCP writes.

It's not fair to pre-judge the story or where the plot is going before you even know where the plot is going.

And the story is Sarah's POV. That is the only POV we are afforded. Which is kind of great if you think about it, because it's a really high quality, literary way to tell a story. In some ways it's like MCP is giving us a somewhat unreliable narrator. Because Sarah is trying really hard to justify herself and her actions to not just her but to the readers, right? And she might lie to herself and lie to us to do that. I love it.

But because you asked about Chuck, I'll tell you what I think. And because I know MCP will probably see this, I'm prefacing it with: If I'm wrong about this, I will not stop reading the story. Because I trust the writer of the story. It will totally be difficult, but the situation between them is difficult in the first place, isn't it? Even though neither of them would admit it. Chuck probably doesn't have this inner voice saying "this is just sex this is just sex this is just sex" like Sarah probably does because she has something in her past that makes committing scary or whatever. We still don't know yet because MCP is unraveling it as the chapters go on. Chuck has connected on a deeper level. And he has nothing keeping him from becoming attached outside of just the sex. (Again I assume. We don't know his story completely because we're getting it when Sarah does, which is great storytelling because it lends to some mystery about Chuck, which we don't get in the show.)

At this point, we really don't know what Chuck is thinking. Because we aren't in his head. Maybe you know what YOU would think if you were in his shoes. But you aren't Chuck. And furthermore, you aren't THIS Chuck, which is different from the show Chuck in a lot of ways, even if he is also like the Chuck we know from the show in a lot of ways too. Not a slam on MCP but canon Chuck probably wouldn't have agreed to fuck buddies in the first place. Let's be real.

We don't know Chuck's story. We don't know Chuck's motives. It's all guess work.

So it isn't fair to assume Chuck wouldn't want to still be fuck buddies if they sat down and discussed it like grown adults. And who is to say Sarah won't tell the truth? That isn't really fair to say about her. Yes, she's had some selfish moments, but she's human. She's afraid. She is trying to protect herself. Yes, she's doing it the wrong way. But who wants to read a story with a protagonist that does everything right all the time and also knows exactly what they want? That's boring. But to insinuate that she isn't going to tell the truth if given the chance? Why not? What's your reasoning for that?

She's been honest with Chuck, in so far as she has been honest with herself. She can't even admit to HERSELF yet that she has feelings for him that are deeper than just fuck buddies/friendship. (And she does have those feelings. It doesn't have to be explicitly said. It's everywhere in the subtext. ) So how can we expect her to admit her feelings to him? What if she does tell the truth? And what if hearing the actual reason for her not wanting to be in a relationship sounds like a good reason to Chuck? What if he's decent and understands? What if he doesn't want to pressure her into something she doesn't want, and he likes her enough to just be around her? What if he enjoys having sex with her? Is that so bad? I really don't think that is unrealistic for this Chuck. To be okay with what she's willing to give him for now, because he respects her feelings and needs. Like I said, if she is honest, and she lets him decide whether to walk away from it or not, that means it's totally up to him. And I don't see any reason why he wouldn't want to continue their sexual relationship. Who knows, maybe hearing her truth makes him think he can change her mind? What's so bad about that? Wanting to make her NOT be afraid again?

As a guy, I can say that if I was in this situation, and she told me the absolute truth, made herself vulnerable like that, and gave me a chance to walk away if I wanted more elsewhere, I would go into her arms in a damn second. And I like to think I'm a pretty stand-up man. Who respects women and sees them as equals. I'd respect her feelings. I'd want to give this a chance. Honesty goes a long way with a lot of people. And I don't think Chuck's any different.

Does that answer your question, Ehoh?
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