Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Reviews for Just A Game

By : MoreCharahPlease

From ANON - Anon on February 01, 2016
"I wasn�t upset with Chuck. There was no reason for me to be upset with him. I just didn�t really want to deal with that side of my life at the moment. He wasn�t my boyfriend. I didn�t owe him attention or anything like that." - From chapter 16

See... I read that as her trying to convince herself of it. Not us.
Subtext vs explicit. But I get why you interpret it the way you do and I can't possibly say who's "righter". (shrug)

(Although I did think Chuck had initiated some of the booty calls... Did I misinterpret?)

Oh well, Ch 17 to read!
Report Review
From ANON - Nic on February 01, 2016
you can really feel the struggle they both have with the situation and the pain they're going through. Great work! Hope to get the next update soon!
Report Review
From Mufc87 on February 01, 2016
I'm at the stage where I'm hoping chuck goes off and finds someone else for a while. Someone who appreciates who he is and maybe at the same time it makes Sarah realise how much she needs and wants chuck. I'm thinking maybe some time apart suits all parties concerned.
Report Review
From ANON - jtc on February 01, 2016
I'm certainly not upset about these plot developments. I'm happy that something besides sex is happening, even if it's them getting mad at each other. Hopefully it'll lead to good things.

Thanks for writing.
Report Review
From ANON - AT90 on February 01, 2016
@Anon

You say this: "I think you've done a tremendous job of depicting Sarah as simultaneously wounded, terrified of love and DEFINITELY falling hard for Chuck."

Agree with the first two (wounded and terrified) but completely disagree with the suggestion that it has been shown she is "falling hard for Chuck".

Let me first say that I love this story and nothing I say detracts from my enjoyment of it, this is purely how I view her character in this story and me being aware that a lot of this is purely because it's told from Sarah's P.O.V and it's naturally unbalanced because of it.

But most of this just comes across as Sarah being worried that Chuck is going to blur the lines of their arrangement, and Sarah is worried that them fucking is going to cause problems for Chuck as far as his sister is concerned and also the brief things she knows about how he gets attached to females he 'cares' for.

None of this signifies Sarah falling 'hard' for Chuck. There's no question she loves the sex, and she likes/cares for Chuck as a person, but that's a huge leap from what that implies to the suggestion that she is falling in love with him.

Sarah is constantly distancing herself from him, and yet becomes standoffish whenever another potential partner for Chuck comes along. This whole thing just shows a person who wants the exclusivity of their physical aspects but doesn't want any of the emotional complications. She wants him, but only if she can contain him under the rules she feels their arrangement is best worked under.

Very rarely has this story shown this arrangement not being 100% to Sarah's schedule, very rarely has Sarah actually dug deeper into her 'feelings' towards this whole thing, outside of her once again affirming that it's purely sex and nothing else (we do see her contradiction, but it's all internal). Very rarely do you see Sarah go down on Chuck or have any sort of 'night' where she puts Chuck's needs ahead of her own. Look at the difference between how many times Chuck has gone down on Sarah in comparison to her going down on him. It all signifies where the power of the relationship/arrangement is. Maybe MoreCharahPlease is just more comfortable writing about Sarah receiving over her giving, but it doesn't come across as if there is equal say/power in this arrangement.

Then you look at how this story is written from Sarah's P.O.V and we get to see her constant emotional distancing towards Chuck, how she looks to keep reaffirming that this is purely FWB and not a relationship. Clearly she has broken her own rules from time to time, but she does come across as "cold". You throw the relationship elements in with her work problems and Chuck comes across as a tool she has when SHE wants him, but the opposite isn't true.

"I wasn�t upset with Chuck. There was no reason for me to be upset with him. I just didn�t really want to deal with that side of my life at the moment. He wasn�t my boyfriend. I didn�t owe him attention or anything like that." - From chapter 16

= But doesn't Chuck also get access to the "free sex" whenever he wants it? Or does Sarah control every time it happens and Chuck just needs to open up his schedule whenever she puts up the bat signal?

I realize a lot of this is purely because this story is only being told from Sarah's P.O.V but it does make Sarah look cold and standoffish from time to time. I've never seen signals she's "falling in love" with him at all.

Just my opinion...
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2016
Ha ha! Cut and paste fail!
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on January 31, 2016
Not to argue about it but I see these comments about how "cold" Sarah is or "feels nothing for Chuck at all" and I wonder why they think that. I think you've done a tremendous job of depicting Sarah as simultaneously wounded, terrified of love and DEFINITELY falling hard for Chuck.

"Depicting" not "explaining"...and that's more than OK. I am curious about the particulars of how badly she's been hurt before, what actually transpired, why she's really holding back, if she has herself fooled (doesn't even realize the strength of her feelings) or is deliberately setting them aside (out of fear?), etc.

But I definitely "see" all of those complex emotions in your writing even as you keep the motivations cloudy and that's my favorite thing about your story. Hopefully the Ellie developments will push the issue a bit but I'm looking forward to seeing it all unveiled.

Keep up the great work!

P.S. - I read stories here for the smut factor (and you do a great job with that too) but it's a testament to the quality that I had to make a separate point of mentioning anything about sex Not to argue about it but I see these comments about how "cold" Sarah is or "feels nothing for Chuck at all" and I wonder why they think that. I think you've done a tremendous job of depicting Sarah as simultaneously wounded, terrified of love and DEFINITELY falling hard for Chuck.

"Depicting" not "explaining"...and that's more than OK. I am curious about the particulars of how badly she's been hurt before, what actually transpired, why she's really holding back, if she has herself fooled (doesn't even realize the strength of her feelings) or is deliberately setting them aside (out of fear?), etc.

But I definitely "see" all of those complex emotions in your writing even as you keep the motivations cloudy and that's my favorite thing about your story. Hopefully the Ellie developments will push the issue a bit but I'm looking forward to seeing it all unveiled.

Keep up the great work!

P.S. - I read stories here for the smut factor (and you do a great job with that too) but it's a testament to the quality that I had to make a separate point of mentioning anything about sex scenes when describing this story!

Report Review
From sleepygirl78 on January 18, 2016
Thanks for posting! I'm really glad the plot is moving forward. As always, great writing.
I do agree with another reviewer when it comes to Sarah : she seems very cold. I get how it was necessary to the plot at the beginning, but after so many chapters it's starting to feel like Chuck would be better off without her. I really hope Ellie makes him realize he deserves more and that it leads to a change of attitude for at least one of them.
Report Review
From ANON - jtc on January 16, 2016
This (16) was my favorite chapter yet. I'm happy there was enough non-smut content to keep the story moving forward. Ellie's appearance was a nice touch.

Hopefully this trend continues, thanks for writing.
Report Review
From ERC on January 16, 2016
Wow Ellie knows now so I guess she will be bugging Chuck to bring Sara over for a family dinner can't wait to see how Chuck and Sara will handle that
Report Review
From ANON - Anon on January 16, 2016
Thank you for the new chapter! It was f'ing sexy as usual but also funny. Can't wait until the next chapter!
Report Review
From Mufc87 on January 16, 2016
Great chapter as usual. Can't wait to read more
Report Review
From ANON - AT90 on January 16, 2016
The whole Ellie meeting Sarah scene was hilarious, very well done.

I do have one criticism/negative and that's Sarah. She just comes across as a very self-centered/selfish person. I know it's difficult because you're writing from her P.O.V but very rarely is the sex ever about Chuck. She doesn't do anything in particular to/for him, it always seems to be about her.

When you add that on to her being lost in her hand and her having doubts about Chuck and their 'arrangement'....well it just feels like she feels nothing for Chuck at all. Once again, I completely understand that she is confused about where to draw the lines and all of that, BUT I think you need to be careful with it.

There was a whole lot of doubt from her in this chapter, about her life/job, about their arrangement, about Chuck's feelings (she didn't think of hers once), about what his sister would think. It's just a lot of her distancing herself, it makes it feels like Chuck is getting taken advantage of/doesn't know what he is getting himself into.
Report Review
From ANON - anony on January 06, 2016
Yessssssssssssss. This is some seriously hot shit. And a beautiful story as a bonus. Thanks!
Report Review
From will30 on January 04, 2016
Just read this through for the first time. Great story, both plot and sex. Am looking forward to more. thanks for posting.
Report Review