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Reviews for Last Night

By : DCForever
  • From ANON - susie on March 02, 2004
    That was great!!! Please put up more chapters!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - suz on December 03, 2003
    'k, if you're going to write, pick a tense and stick to it unless you provide the reader with some sort of visual cue that the POV and time frame are different than the body of the story. For whatever it's worth (and believe me, I know it's likely to be zero, cuz the vast majority of fan writers have no interest in anything beyond ego strokes), there are some basic construction rules you might want to review.

    When you have a piece of dialog, the action accompanying it ought to go with it. So, for ple,ple, when you have Chloe thinking or saying something, her physical, observable reactions ought to connect with that, as opposed to the next speaker's. Early on, you mention her cup of coffee splashing onto her desk, but it's in the same paragraph as Clark's commentt as opposed to her dialog. Which would work, if you were in Clark's POV, but you're in a neutral third person past tense POV.

    Until you get to the crimnal acts, which are present tense. That's perfectly permissable stylistically, as long as you make the reader aware that something different is happening. So put it in italics. Or set it apart with extra spacing or a line of characters. Anything to let folks know they're in a different POV. POV (point of view) is the key to good fic. It needs to stay consistant within a scene, if not within a complete story, which, believe it or not, I have learned the hard way. Like in professional editorial criticism. so take this in the spirit in which it is intended. If you have an interest in writing as a potential professional career, start doing the work now. And that work means reading everything you can, particularly published (as in real-life books) works so you begin to learn on an instinctive level what is and is not acceptable in construction. Whether you believe it or not, I couldn't consciously conjugate a verb or identify a dangling particple if it bit me on the frickin' ass. But I CAN write. Ask Steven J Cannell, hollywood producer, if he ever gets around to approving my Wiseguy story for publicaton.

    And the only reason I can, is because I read. Voraciously. Instinctively. Look for the things that totally 'WOW' you as a reader. Style, contsruction, whatever. and emmulate that. It's the best way to learn.

    Go for it, kid,
    Don't wait till something better comes alon, cuz nothing is better than telling a story that others want - heck, CAN'T stop - reading

    If you made it this far, good for you. Keep writing!
    Suz
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