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Reviews for An Unlikely Threesome

By : Sargent69
  • From ANON - Sara on June 22, 2005
    Aside from many punctuation, spelling, and grammar problems... Hawkeye/Margaret/Radar?!

    It's pretty much OOC and wow. I just never knew someone would ever write that.

    Damn.
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  • From ANON - Kelly on June 21, 2005
    The grouping alone is incredibly wrong. That said, how on Earth did you learn to be so very OOC?
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  • From ANON - radarhunnihawk on June 21, 2005
    Feel free to disregard this as a MASH fan being anal or whatever but I just have to comment. Hopefully constructively and hopefully its not too sarcy.

    First off all this was pretty out of character. There is no way Hotlips would ever screw Radar. And although Hawkeye kisses him in the show Radar would probably never seriously consider kissing either of them. And Its the 8063rd. Oh and on a character dialogue point of view its off.

    Another point, it is very rare a guy will have a 10 inch penis, when flacid they are only usually on average 3/4 inches. However feel free to prove me wrong as I am no expert.

    Besides that as a piece of smut it was actually fairly good. Some of the typos where a little distracting but a beta could help with that. As a piece of fanfiction especially with mash it just seemed out of place, however if it was origional fiction then it was an enjoyable story to read.

    Just my oppinion, feel free to ignore.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 24, 2004
    **Blink blink**
    Ummm interesting trio... i liked Col. Benjamin Dover's name... Col. Bendover. cute.
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  • From JMA on July 20, 2004
    Honestyl? I'm not a smut reader, so I don't know how valid you are going to find this review.

    I think your characterisation of Margaret was off. In the series, her 'sensual side' seems to play down her usual comanding nature. Often when people are dominant in their every day life, they are submissive sexually. This is back up in the series when Frank call her "naughty girl" in private. My guess ist tht the two of them would have a little BDSM kink, but that's just my thoery.

    Your logistics are also a little off, just reviwe the positioning and you'll see what I mean. If it helps, get a pen and paper and draw the positions.

    There isn't enough smut in this fandom, so your story is a welcome addition. I also like how you handled Hawkeye's bisexuality. On a side not I could see this, with some additions/changes, becoming a serious fic. Consider how Trappouldould react if he found out? Would he think Hawk and Margaret "corrupted" Radar?

    Keep away from cliche's (dripping 10 inch dick - made me laugh my ass off) but keep up with the writing. I'd like to see you do more work in this fandom.
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  • From ANON - swiss miss on March 19, 2004
    AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVED THAT! IT WAS INCREDIBLE! i love it when it's two guys and a girl. don't much like two girls together, but one girl and a bunch of guys, i love it! CAN'T WAIT FOR MORE FROM YOU!
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  • From ANON - Mash reader on March 13, 2004
    Hey! We want another!
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  • From ANON - Hentai Jane on December 16, 2003
    That's it!! I can't read any more of your stories! (throws another pair of panties in the hamper) Some people are just too good at writing threesomes for their own good!
    LOL Just Kidding! I Love Your Work!
    Hugs
    HJ
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  • From SailorPoison on November 25, 2003
    LOL That was great! I never thought of a threesome of this nature before. Enjoyed it alot.
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