schedule
June 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
esta es una gran historia, espero que algún día la retome. Por favor no la deje así. Gracias.
schedule
June 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Alright, so, it's been 6 years since this story was updated. No doubt this review will never be received.
Still...
You should at LEAST do a complete spelling/punctuation check before publishing. There are numerous errors throughout.
Also, your main character Narak truly lacks real qualities. You characterise Data relatively well presumably because you have spent a great deal of time going over his personality (hey, we all have), but it really comes out in the story that Narak seems 'thrown together'. I mean, okay, she's got an eating disorder. This contributes to her seemingly unsure/sheepish manner.... However quite contrarily, she is comfortable with performing a duet with a senior officer, FOR senior officers at the slightest suggestion! Which is it?
Furthermore, what real reason does Data have for 'liking' this girl, other than her supposed 'androgynous' nature?
I mean, Data is expressing the one, single, most important aspect of his life to her in Chapter 1: His struggle to emulate and eventually gain humanity. And all she responds with is, 'Sounds confusing'?!?!
Talk about flimsy.
This story recieves:
B for proofreading
C for characterisation,
but after all, the point is...
you got an A- for the sex scene. And thats why we're all here, aint it?
P.s. Shameless plug, read MY Data fic.
Still...
You should at LEAST do a complete spelling/punctuation check before publishing. There are numerous errors throughout.
Also, your main character Narak truly lacks real qualities. You characterise Data relatively well presumably because you have spent a great deal of time going over his personality (hey, we all have), but it really comes out in the story that Narak seems 'thrown together'. I mean, okay, she's got an eating disorder. This contributes to her seemingly unsure/sheepish manner.... However quite contrarily, she is comfortable with performing a duet with a senior officer, FOR senior officers at the slightest suggestion! Which is it?
Furthermore, what real reason does Data have for 'liking' this girl, other than her supposed 'androgynous' nature?
I mean, Data is expressing the one, single, most important aspect of his life to her in Chapter 1: His struggle to emulate and eventually gain humanity. And all she responds with is, 'Sounds confusing'?!?!
Talk about flimsy.
This story recieves:
B for proofreading
C for characterisation,
but after all, the point is...
you got an A- for the sex scene. And thats why we're all here, aint it?
P.s. Shameless plug, read MY Data fic.
schedule
January 27, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Aww, no more? I was enjoying it too =(
schedule
October 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I love the stroy but could you PLEASE add more parts? I am ripping my hear out waiting and my minds way to imaganative to conclusivly find a proper ending for it! I also think you are a fellow Data fan, did it not suck when he died in Star Trek Nemaisis? I mean it blows chunks of everything nasty yet alas Brent Spiner gave them a cart blonch for it! Will wait with great antisipation for more parts and PLEASE e-mail me when you do!
schedule
May 18, 2005 at 12:00 AM
You've captured Data perfectly!!! I love it!!!
schedule
April 27, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I'm truly enjoying this story and I hope you continue it. I've always had a "weird" thing for Data. LOL, sigh...would rub your back until YOU were tired of it, fix anything you would like to eat and be a whiz with computer upgrades & repairs!
schedule
April 11, 2005 at 12:00 AM
A little irregular and farfetched with Data's "emotions" towards the girl but... I loved it. You should continue! We need a Part III to finish things off...
schedule
December 3, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Come on u got to update
schedule
September 6, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Please update soon please
schedule
December 14, 2003 at 12:00 AM
Interesting story. I look forward to reading more.