schedule
November 20, 2005 at 12:00 AM
I stopped reading the story after only a few paragraphs. It just got annoying to figure out who said what when. I could´t tell you if the story is fun, sad, tongue-in-cheek or anything else, as I couldn't be bothered.
Maybe the story is great. Maybe it is witty. I just don't know. Even scrpits from the old fashioned radio-mysteries had this form:
X said: "dfdfgjfgh"
Y said: "hufrdtyio"
Just so the actors new who was to say what when.
You could try something along the line of:
"dghkfhuk, cdfydf hufgyjhf", said Face.
"fghf fghkfghjkg gyusfrtgb", his friend answered.
It would really help the reader.
Maybe the story is great. Maybe it is witty. I just don't know. Even scrpits from the old fashioned radio-mysteries had this form:
X said: "dfdfgjfgh"
Y said: "hufrdtyio"
Just so the actors new who was to say what when.
You could try something along the line of:
"dghkfhuk, cdfydf hufgyjhf", said Face.
"fghf fghkfghjkg gyusfrtgb", his friend answered.
It would really help the reader.