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January 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Love that cat version of Lassie line. Here's a missing scene for you.
Griffin leads Dean to the well, he's purring.
Dean: Jay, what are you doing down in the well?
Jay: Griffin tripped me. Guess he didn't like that comment about the leash too much.
Griffin leads Dean to the well, he's purring.
Dean: Jay, what are you doing down in the well?
Jay: Griffin tripped me. Guess he didn't like that comment about the leash too much.
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January 28, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I LOVE this story. There are so many Supernatural fics that are incest, and i'm really not up for that. I adore slash and I adore this story.the Characters are fantastic, and you are very nicely detailed in descriptions. I can't wait for more.
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January 19, 2006 at 12:00 AM
This is a really amazing story. It's well-written, interesting and full of great ideas! There are so many things I liked about it I'm not sure I'll remember them, but I'll try and hit all the major ones.
Entire families of Hunters and Guardians: brilliant! Not only does it make sense, but it fits so seamlessly into cannon. I could easily see them doing something like this later on in the show. I like the idea of there being a network of support with safe havens for those who are too young or too old to be a part of the fight against evil except by helping others.
Sam's burgeoning psychic abilities: I like that you made difficult for him, and that he has to work for control. It's realistic, far more so than him waking up overnight and suddenly being able to use them perfectly and having all the knowledge of how to do so.
Original characters: thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for creating charactes I can like with flaws and quirks and differences and all the things that make them human and don't incite the urge to pull my hair out. I think this is one of the greatest skills an author can have. Too many writers end up creating characters who are too perfect, which just annoys and alienates the reader.
Foreshadowing, detailed descriptions, information given gradually enough that it doesn't drag the story down, a plotline, creepy antagonists: you have all of these. Good job! :)
Now some constructive criticism. (Sorry.)
Scene changes with line breaks: they seem rather arbitrary. Sometimes there are two spaces, sometimes there are three; sometimes there's a line of symbols, sometimes there's only one, and it's hard to decern any pattern. A key in the author notes would be helpful, as well using different symbols. Ex: A line of ***** means a POV change, a line of ~~~~~ means time passing, etc.
Mistakes: I still noticed quite a few typos, and there's some weird sentence structures in several places that tends to pull you out of the story. A lot of people have more than one beta because people notice different things. I saw you already have a beta and that's good, but you might consider getting one or two more, especially on a story as large as yours.
Characterisations: are pretty much spot on actually. This is more of a warning than anything. I realize the characters are under stress which can make even the best of us crack, but just watch that you don't stray too far from what's been established in cannon without some lead up. :)
Well, that's it. I look forward to seeing more soon.
Oh! I almost forgot! I could hardly believe you've gotten so many hits and yet so few responses here. Why don't you try posting over on one of the Supernatural LiveJournal communties as well? They're a lot more vocal than the people here and you might get some good feedback.
Entire families of Hunters and Guardians: brilliant! Not only does it make sense, but it fits so seamlessly into cannon. I could easily see them doing something like this later on in the show. I like the idea of there being a network of support with safe havens for those who are too young or too old to be a part of the fight against evil except by helping others.
Sam's burgeoning psychic abilities: I like that you made difficult for him, and that he has to work for control. It's realistic, far more so than him waking up overnight and suddenly being able to use them perfectly and having all the knowledge of how to do so.
Original characters: thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, for creating charactes I can like with flaws and quirks and differences and all the things that make them human and don't incite the urge to pull my hair out. I think this is one of the greatest skills an author can have. Too many writers end up creating characters who are too perfect, which just annoys and alienates the reader.
Foreshadowing, detailed descriptions, information given gradually enough that it doesn't drag the story down, a plotline, creepy antagonists: you have all of these. Good job! :)
Now some constructive criticism. (Sorry.)
Scene changes with line breaks: they seem rather arbitrary. Sometimes there are two spaces, sometimes there are three; sometimes there's a line of symbols, sometimes there's only one, and it's hard to decern any pattern. A key in the author notes would be helpful, as well using different symbols. Ex: A line of ***** means a POV change, a line of ~~~~~ means time passing, etc.
Mistakes: I still noticed quite a few typos, and there's some weird sentence structures in several places that tends to pull you out of the story. A lot of people have more than one beta because people notice different things. I saw you already have a beta and that's good, but you might consider getting one or two more, especially on a story as large as yours.
Characterisations: are pretty much spot on actually. This is more of a warning than anything. I realize the characters are under stress which can make even the best of us crack, but just watch that you don't stray too far from what's been established in cannon without some lead up. :)
Well, that's it. I look forward to seeing more soon.
Oh! I almost forgot! I could hardly believe you've gotten so many hits and yet so few responses here. Why don't you try posting over on one of the Supernatural LiveJournal communties as well? They're a lot more vocal than the people here and you might get some good feedback.
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January 15, 2006 at 12:00 AM
this is a really good story i've stumbled on. beautifully written.
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January 13, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Griffin! I LOVE that cat. I wish I had one, no, wait I wish I WAS him, snuggled up to Dean!
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January 11, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great story so far, one of the few with a good plot! Good characters and characterization of Dean and Sam. Love the length of the story so far, and I can't wait to read more.
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January 7, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Really cool story! I like the characters a lot! Keep up the great work!
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January 5, 2006 at 12:00 AM
need more
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January 4, 2006 at 12:00 AM
your storys really well informed, i'm hooked. please keep it going.
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December 28, 2005 at 12:00 AM
Glad to see you are continuing the story. I like the fact that Dean has some psychic ability, at least as far as Sam is concerned. Can hardly wait to see what Nora's going to tell the gang tomorrow. Must have taken awhile do to all that research on symbolism, good work. Update soon! -Ann