rate_review Reviews

I think you did an ok job here, but you could do a lot better.
If you lengthened the story a bit more, added more detail, that would help. You have almost as much original stuff in here length-wise as you have stuff copied and described from the episode. I think it's good that you include that stuff, because some people might not have seen/remember the episode, but you should have a little more original stuff, too.
When you add detail, things don't seem quite as rushed. Your fic, even though it's a one-shot, could still be longer and it would be better. I thought pretty much everything in the actual sex scene could be extended. There were a few times I had to go back and re-read sentences because I thought I missed something.
Anyway this was one of my favorite episodes and I'm glad you chose it. I always thought that was a fun spin for the writers to show Torres and Chakotay for one ep.

that was arousing. you got me all hot and bothered, and those two aren't really my fav romantic pair. awesome job. (goes to smoke cigarette)