schedule
February 20, 2007 at 12:00 AM
To start with: just ignore colby's comments, because this is anything but crappy writing.
It's an unusual story within the context of Gilmore Girls, yes, but isn't that one of the reasons this website exists? To be able to write more unusual / uncommon stories about some of our favourite series / movies / ... ?
Anyway, you're handling the difficulties between Dean and Tristan very well! You're writing credible dialogues for all participating characters (I can really "see" them saying all those lines without sounding forced), you're keeping a nice pace in the story, AND you're keeping things on edge.
Meaning: you've been fully able to keep me interested in your story, to make me want to read and know more about how things will evolve in this unusual (but oh-so-interesting) pairing.
Angsty relationships/romance are/is always exciting to read about (at least in my oppinion), so do keep up the good work!
Encouraging regards,
It's an unusual story within the context of Gilmore Girls, yes, but isn't that one of the reasons this website exists? To be able to write more unusual / uncommon stories about some of our favourite series / movies / ... ?
Anyway, you're handling the difficulties between Dean and Tristan very well! You're writing credible dialogues for all participating characters (I can really "see" them saying all those lines without sounding forced), you're keeping a nice pace in the story, AND you're keeping things on edge.
Meaning: you've been fully able to keep me interested in your story, to make me want to read and know more about how things will evolve in this unusual (but oh-so-interesting) pairing.
Angsty relationships/romance are/is always exciting to read about (at least in my oppinion), so do keep up the good work!
Encouraging regards,
schedule
February 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Yeay great chapter, please let Tristan and dean get back together update next chapter soon, please :)
schedule
February 19, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Really good!!!
I anxiously wait for more... you just have to update more frequently!!!
And some sex would also be nice. ;)
I anxiously wait for more... you just have to update more frequently!!!
And some sex would also be nice. ;)
schedule
February 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
crappy writing all the way around. people like you have no business posting. it is an insult to people who actually do it well.
schedule
February 18, 2007 at 12:00 AM
crappy writing (Capital ‘C’, as it begins the sentence)
all the way around (Doesn’t really fit in this context, but nice try)
people (Capital ‘P’)
like you have no business posting (Crude and inarticulate, but an amusing, if not clichéd, insult. Good job!)
it (Must figure out those capital letters!)
is an insult to people who actually do it well (Again, lacking effect here. Have you thought of reading a book aimed at children of a higher reading level to improve your vocabulary? Ask your teacher about it.)
Ah, Colby. You're right! What was I thinking? Please, show me your fiction, so I may learn the art of writing. I guess my English literature degree means nothing to someone who can insult a writing style whilst ignoring the most fundamental aspects of the English language. Do you seriously have nothing better to do? If you had the guts to back yourself up, or better yet, the ability to introduce capital letters into a basic sentence, maybe I'd find you mildly interesting. As it happens, I find you quite tragic. Good luck with school and remember…sentences begin with capital letters! You can do it!
all the way around (Doesn’t really fit in this context, but nice try)
people (Capital ‘P’)
like you have no business posting (Crude and inarticulate, but an amusing, if not clichéd, insult. Good job!)
it (Must figure out those capital letters!)
is an insult to people who actually do it well (Again, lacking effect here. Have you thought of reading a book aimed at children of a higher reading level to improve your vocabulary? Ask your teacher about it.)
Ah, Colby. You're right! What was I thinking? Please, show me your fiction, so I may learn the art of writing. I guess my English literature degree means nothing to someone who can insult a writing style whilst ignoring the most fundamental aspects of the English language. Do you seriously have nothing better to do? If you had the guts to back yourself up, or better yet, the ability to introduce capital letters into a basic sentence, maybe I'd find you mildly interesting. As it happens, I find you quite tragic. Good luck with school and remember…sentences begin with capital letters! You can do it!
schedule
February 17, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Ah! You've allowed me to review this :-). And review is what I'm gonna do, because...
I really like this! The strange "relationship" between Dean and Tristan (man, these two are something else to think about being together like that, and you know... sexin' and all, lol), Rory's being so supportive of Dean's confessed homosexuality, Dean's wish to have something more with Tristan and Tristan's reluctance to give him just that, and then finally Tristan's being a coward about what Dean's coming out might do to his tough-guy-image and therefore knocking Brad to the floor just to "proove" to their surroundings that he's not "queer" (hate that word, by the way; so disrespectful).
So all this to say that you may certainly continue this! I've read "Rich Boys" too, already liked what you did with this pairing back then, and I'm still loving it right now.
Hopefully a sequel is still in the making. Until that time, I thank you for writing and I'll tell the muses to drop by you still a bit more often than they already do ;-).
Oh right, before I forget: nice to see you're taking good care of language too while you're writing. Something I always appreciate greatly in a writer, and that makes reading their story even more of a great experience.
Bye now :-),
I really like this! The strange "relationship" between Dean and Tristan (man, these two are something else to think about being together like that, and you know... sexin' and all, lol), Rory's being so supportive of Dean's confessed homosexuality, Dean's wish to have something more with Tristan and Tristan's reluctance to give him just that, and then finally Tristan's being a coward about what Dean's coming out might do to his tough-guy-image and therefore knocking Brad to the floor just to "proove" to their surroundings that he's not "queer" (hate that word, by the way; so disrespectful).
So all this to say that you may certainly continue this! I've read "Rich Boys" too, already liked what you did with this pairing back then, and I'm still loving it right now.
Hopefully a sequel is still in the making. Until that time, I thank you for writing and I'll tell the muses to drop by you still a bit more often than they already do ;-).
Oh right, before I forget: nice to see you're taking good care of language too while you're writing. Something I always appreciate greatly in a writer, and that makes reading their story even more of a great experience.
Bye now :-),
schedule
February 15, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Hey!
I'm so glad you decided to make a sequel WITH a plot... that's just amazing. Of course I hope there will a lot of sex as well. These first two chapters were amazingly written and I really hope you update soon. I'm dying to read more. Also, I suggest you change your options to let anyone review, not only who is member of the site. You'd get more reviews and people in general would be able to tell you what they thing; I think it's a win-win situation. ASnyways... I really hope youupdate soon. Great work!!! ;)
~lilca
I'm so glad you decided to make a sequel WITH a plot... that's just amazing. Of course I hope there will a lot of sex as well. These first two chapters were amazingly written and I really hope you update soon. I'm dying to read more. Also, I suggest you change your options to let anyone review, not only who is member of the site. You'd get more reviews and people in general would be able to tell you what they thing; I think it's a win-win situation. ASnyways... I really hope youupdate soon. Great work!!! ;)
~lilca