schedule
July 16, 2007 at 12:00 AM
Bravo!! Annie, bravo!! Such a beautiful story, written by someone with such an obvious streak of romanticism in them, it must be miles wide!! Lindsay's mom, with the unusual photography hobby! She's a hoot and a half!! Standing at the end of the bed, camera at the ready, meeting Danny for the first time. I couldn't hold back the giggles!! Too bad not all moms are so cool and relaxed.
Just a bit of constructive criticism...I'd recommend getting a beta or proof reader; I think the story would be smoother with some commas or semi-colons. Also, a few extra blank lines to separate scenes or time periods; maybe it was how your story got uploaded, but I found myself having to return to the beginning of paragraphs to figure out 'when', what I was reading was going on.
I so love the Danny Lindsay pairing, I hope The Powers That Be in the top offices keep their relationship going; it was just starting to get good when those creeps tried to break into the lab and Danny got the crud beat out of him. Although it sets up a real good opportunity for Lindsay to take care of him!! And nurse him back to full health!!
Hope to see more from you, here in CSI: NY world!
Just a bit of constructive criticism...I'd recommend getting a beta or proof reader; I think the story would be smoother with some commas or semi-colons. Also, a few extra blank lines to separate scenes or time periods; maybe it was how your story got uploaded, but I found myself having to return to the beginning of paragraphs to figure out 'when', what I was reading was going on.
I so love the Danny Lindsay pairing, I hope The Powers That Be in the top offices keep their relationship going; it was just starting to get good when those creeps tried to break into the lab and Danny got the crud beat out of him. Although it sets up a real good opportunity for Lindsay to take care of him!! And nurse him back to full health!!
Hope to see more from you, here in CSI: NY world!