schedule
January 22, 2017 at 12:00 AM
This story was a pretty good attempt execept for a few mistakes, hope you don't mind me saying;
1, Spock calls McCoy 'Doctor' not 'McCoy'
2, when the girl and kirk get together you use the word clit - you actually have the wrong body part - call it a pussy/cunt/vag or whatever but it may help to take a look at some other stories to get better use of wording and terminology.
Other than that you had a good story line.
schedule
March 18, 2012 at 12:00 AM
Pretty good so far, dialogue could use a little work though.