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for Double The Trouble

by Twilight_Princesses_Guard

person Solis Ryne
schedule October 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Fix your dialog into new, separate lines. Somethings dodgy with your paragraph. they need extapolating... or rather expanding. Description is your friend. Use it to tell you're story. Your story feels very unfinished and raw. It needs some work. It's a good idea... the universe knows how much we the fans want three ways with The metacrisis and The Doctor. Please do take my advise and improve it.
person Solis Ryne
schedule October 4, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Oh, and punctuation. Correct that.
It really does go a long way.
My head hurts to read something that isn't properly punctuated. Punctuation is there to indicate how fast your dialog and text should be read/paced (so that you get across emotions and pace of the piece the way you imagine it)and with out it, readers have no clue how it's supposed to be read, and they have to supplement it themselves which is painful to do.
person rudebutnotginger
schedule May 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Punctuation goes a long way. I highly recommend it.

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