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Max Sucks	By : cjb Category: M through R > Roswell Views: 4146 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Max Sucks
- 2-Max Sucks 2
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- 2
I am colour-blind�
There is just so much that a man can take�and Michael couldn�t take any mere of the way he felt. Why was he affected so much by this-this stupid thing? But no matter how much Michael tried to deny his true feelings, it was only harder on him than it was previously.
Let me be the first to say that I don�t have a clue�
What a stupid fucking little thing. The thought in the back of his head saying that it really didn�t matter that much. The same thought that told him that he had a right to feel this way�but about this person? What kind of anot wot was he to delude himself about what his true feelings were? Of course it could never be. Never in a million years would he do something so ridiculous and�well just plain wrong. And it was wrong, but it could feel so right. And what Michael needed at that moment was the reassurance that he wasn�t just going crazy.
You�re still the only one�
Well he knew from the beginning that he loved this other person but did that make him�gay? Michael Guerin was too homophobic�not to mention manly to be gay! But that feeling was still there�bugging him--eating him alive. It was begging him to go to the one he loved. It told him that he wasn�t gay for loving the other dude, but what kind of guy liked another guy? A gay one that�s who! And Michael Guerin was NOT gay! No way�no how. And it wasn�t even the trailer-trash in him saying so.
�all the things that I used to know have gone out the window�
Max�the voice�his voice granted, was still whispering in his head about his best friend. The same best friend that let him sleep on his floor when Michael would come over after a fight with Hank. The same best friend that healed his wounds after the beatings. That�s who.
�and I�m walking wounded all alone�
But in all those touches Michael felt something more than duty or purpose. He felt love�tenderness. And he wanted to feel it deeper and more real inside himself. Why did Max get the best power? Here he was only able to blow shit up and Max--Max was a hero. Max could make everything better with only a touch of his hand. Max brought back Liz, Kyle, Valenti, and all those kids�back from the dead. Dead! Well at least close to dying. And Michael felt sorrow over the few he killed and the many Max had healed. Like the few lives he destroyed could never be paid back by the ones Max saved.
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you�
He could never be good enough for Max. If they were both gay that was. Of course Max had Liz and Michael himself was into something with Maria. And Maria was great! He could hate her so much at times and not hurt her. That was good for him. It helped him gain some semblance of control. Control was definitely what he needed anyway. Because when he stood beside Max, he would feel so angry at the other man so violently at times that anything around him felt the wrath of his powers. The TV that even Max couldn�t fix. Even though Max was better at fixing things than he was. Why was that?
I don�t belong to you--you see�
Michael guessed that Max had to be good at fixing or healing things because of Michael�s power to destroy. Maybe the powers that be wanted someone to do cleanup after Michael started the whole war and got everyone killed. According to everyone around him he was supposed to be the warrior and he felt it too. Inside him was the same feeling that was telling him he should be with Max. That same feeling was telling him that he had to be the opposite of Max as well. Maybe that�s why he wanted Max so much. They were supposed to be so apart that Michael could feel the tension pulling them closer together. But what if Max didn�t return this feeling? What if he didn�t have the same little voice whispering inside telling him that Michael needed him? Then that would just be pathetic. Michael couldn�t bear that. Even if he didn�t want to�have�okay fuck Max, he would feel really stupid to know that Max didn�t share the same emotions that came from all their time together.
I just need somebody to talk to�
Whoever put them together on this planet was either superiorly brilliant or stupendously retarded. Did they know this would happen? Were they counting on it? And what purpose was that supposed to prove? Tess had told him that he was supposed to be with Isabel but all he felt for her was�well he felt like her brother. Like he needed to protect her. And Max was the lover he always wanted. Michael wondered if all the times Max touched him betrayed his desire. And if Max knew, why wasn�t he saying anything?
So sit on top of the world and tell me what you�re feeling�
Maybe it was because Max was the king. Maybe everyone had to be in love with him. Michael thought hard on that one. What if they were like that on planplanet Antar. Dudes with other dudes. Chicks with other chicks�hmmm not bad. Okay so he knew he couldn�t be gay. He wanted to see two chicks go at it and that was a sign that you were still batting for the blue team�right? He didn�t know anymore. Sometimes he just wanted to storm out to the living room and rip Max�s blanket off�and then what? Michael hadn�t really thought ahead. And at the moment looking up at his ceiling he didn�t think he could make himself get up. The other way.
�say it now because you never know�
Max was listening to some slow crap out there. Why the guy liked this shit baffled Michael. Wasn�t that what manly men liked�Metallica�Ozzy�Godsmack? And here Max was listening to his stupid mixed CD of what had to be the slowest, femmy songs ever written! What did he have his sister or Liz make his CD�s for him? It made Michael mad and frustrated and�no wait that�s all it did to him but that was enough. Songs over and over of the same garbage and it was already 2:35. And Michael couldn�t get to sleep with it going like that. That was it! He would get right up and change the disk. Even thought it was Max�s stereo and technically it was Max�s sleeping area�but it was his house damnit! He shouldn�t have to be subjected to�.
La-lovers, la-lovers�
But still he lay there until a soulful song came on and he knew he had to get up and put an end to it all. No matter if he was ready to face Max this way. Well this way too�.
�but last night he sped the proc�.
�That�s it I can�t stand listening to that shit anymore!� Michael bellowed to a half-asleep Max and began to rummage though his own CD�s. �I�m putting on something good.� He continued to rant fully aware that Max had sat up sleepily. The thin blanket had fallen down and Michael could see his sculpted chest in the dim light above the stove. Max was too old for a nightlight but he kept the stove light on all the time�wasting electricity.
Michael took the hated disk out of the stereo and switched it to one of his burnt CD�s. And pushed the play button�.
Well I�m running back and forth�
But Michael had the misfortune to look back at Max again instead of going right to bed�.

Note: Songs are a compilation of: Colour-blind--Counting Crows; Trying--Lifehouse; Only One--Lifehouse; When It�s Over--Sugar Ray; Walking Wounded--The Tea Party; Everything--Lifehouse; Say Hello Wave Goodbye--David Gray; Speedway--Counting Crows; Take My Hand--Dido; Tear--RHCP; Lovers In A Dangerous Time--Barenaked Ladies; Nothing Could Come Between Us--TOAD.
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Max Sucks