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The Loudmouth Syndrome	By : SnapesPlaymate Category: 1 through F > Coupling Views: 3035 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Coupling, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Loudmouth Syndrome
- 1
Title: The Loudmouth Syndrome (1/1)
Category: Coupling (the BBC 30 min sit-com)
Rating: R (language and sexual references)
Warning: spanking, language, sexual references
Co-written by nadriede_cede and tiaoconnell
Disclaimner: We don't own this, we are just visiting and playing for
our own amusement.
Author Notes: 1) This will make better sense if you have seen the show. 2) No, the American version is not the same, it sucks

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Susan was sitting at the bar in the pub, ordering a drink, when someone took the liberty of pinching her arse. "Back off wanker!" She shouted, whirling around to crack her hand across the face of---Steve, her boyfriend!! �Oops!" She cried, blushing in mortification.
"Ouch!" Steve howled, his hand going up to touch the red handprint across his cheek.
"Oh, bloody hell!" Susan cried, blushing even more. "Steve, I'm sorry!"
"Me too." He rubbed his face, pretending to look hurt and offended and, well, rather pitiful!
She rolled her eyes, trying not to laugh at him. "Oh come on, I'm sorry! Even though it's your own fault, I'm sorry."
"MY own fault?!" He gasped out, looking highly insulted. "You are quite definitely wrong!�
She laughed. "Sorry mate, but you are the one that's wrong here. You just walked up and pinched my arse in the middle of a pub! A pub Steve! Do you know how many men do that to me?!"
He leaned forward, a twinkle in his eyes. "And how many men here will take you home and give you a bit of a spanking for that?"
"I don't know." She admitted, glancing around. "Let's find out, shall we?" She suggested as she sat her drink down and started to get off the barstool. �Maybe they'll know some lesbians, and can introduce you to them!"
He laughed. "Now now, that's my privilege, for being in the zone, and don't get nasty dear." He kissed her lips softly.
"Don't get nasty? Steve, come on love. I don't get nasty. I only get even."
Steve chuckled. "I think someone needs a bit of a spanking." He teased in a whisper.
She grinned. "Don't you want to find out how many men here would actually take me home and spank me, as well as which ones know lesbians?"
Steve rolled his eyes. "Hush." He kissed her again.
She kissed him back, then suddenly pulled away from him and turned to look out at the pub. "Excuse me, may I have the attention of all the gentlemen please?" She called sweetly, waving her hands. Everyone turned and looked at her, some smiling, some looking confused. "Ah good. I have a question for all the men here. My boyfriend wants to know how many here would actually take me home and spank me!" A wave of laughter rippled through the room, and Susan could hear Steve gasp behind her. She ignored him. "If any of you would do that, would you raise your hand please? Men only, the lesbian question will come next." Susan promised when she noticed a few sly grins on the faces of some of the women. Her eyes went wide as many hands flew up in the air, and she began to count them, not daring to turn around to see how Steve was handling all this. She should have though, as then she would have seen how furious he was. But he said nothing to her, and suddenly stormed out of the bar, his face flaming red.
Susan watched him, then glanced at everyone and shrugged. "Sorry all. Guess I won't get to ask my lesbian question! Thanks!" She grabbed her purse and ran outside to see Steve pacing by his car, looking very mad indeed.
�Not a word!" He shouted at her before she could even say anything. With that he got into his car and drove back to his apartment, slamming the door shut behind him as he entered. He had never been angrier with Susan then he was now.
Meanwhile, back in the parking lot, Susan stood there and stared, shocked. He was really pissed. She had never seen him so mad...not at her anyway. She turned away, her heart pounding. She was somewhat nervous about going back to the apartment, but she was thrilled at the same time. He was mad, mad enough to spank her probably. She wondered if he would be stern and strict, like she wanted him to be. They had had a conversation about that not too long ago, and she wondered if hmembmembered it. She hoped so. She sighed as she went to the pay phone and called a cab. As she waited for it she thought about that conversation. It was about a week ago, and they were both home, relaxing.
On an impulse, totally out of the blue, Susan had flopped down on the couch beside Steve and said, "Steve, when you were reading my books and magazines that you found, did you notice any similarities that all the men shared?"
He had stared at her for a long moment, looking comically shocked and confused. "They were all spanking naked bottoms?" He had suggested with a shrug.
Susan groaned. "Besides that." She said with a huff.
He frowned, thinking. "They were all spanking women?"
"Steve!" She had cried out. "They were all being stern and strict, and none of them let any of their women off the hook. They scolded them properly and then delivered a sound spanking. They were strict." Here slushlushed. "Sometimes, a lot of times, I want and need you to be that way with me. I'm a stubborn little chit, and I need it. Plus, it really turns me on." She added, to which he raised an eyebrow at her. She had grinned and kissed him, then went off to do her own thing, letting him think about that. Now as she sat on the curb she wondered if he would remember all that, and put it to use. She wondered also if he would even be in the mood to spank her. Before anothondeondering thought could enter her mind, the cab pulled up and the driver honked his horn, startling Susan out of her thoughts. She got up and got in, gave the man her address, and within minutes she was walking up the stairs to the apartment that she shared with Steve. Slowly she unlocked the door and stepped in, looking around. Steve was nowhere to be seen, but she knew he was home, as she had seen his car parked in front of the building. He could have gone for a walk she supposed. With a sigh she closed the door and locked it, then took her jacket off, moving forward as she did. She looked around, but Steve was not there. Sighing, not knowing what else to do, she sat down on the couch and waited.
Steve returned a half an hour later, saw her, and opened the door to leave again. He was clearly angry, and pissed. When he was upset he yelled, when he was angry, he was silent. Deadly silent. Susan watched him, a bit disappointed that he had not come in and set to blistering her ears for her, and then gone on to blister her bottom. But then, maybe it was a good thing he didn't. He was angry, really angry. She said nothing to him, as she really didn't know what to say, and she was too stubborn to talk first anyway, though she knew she should. So he left.
He called from his work an hour later. "I won't be home until late, so don't bother waiting for me. In fact, I may sleep here." He was so angry he wanted to throw her out, tell her to go back to her own apartment, but he felt that was rather wrong, to throw the woman out.
"Fine." She said, her voice crisp and cool. "I'll see you when you're done pouting, I suppose."
"I'm not pouting. I'm utterly humiliated and embarrassed. You can't seem to control your mouth. I know half the men in that damn bar, seeing as we go there nearly every day. How the bloody hell do you expect me to ever be able to go back there again?!"
"Bloody hell Steve, I know half those men too! And they know me! That means they know how I am! Do you honestly think they gave any of what I said a second thought?!"
"I DONT CARE DAMNIT! You never stop to think about how your words will affect me! You just let them free, regardless of anything but your own need for attention! Well I'm sick of it!"
�And I am sick of you going around acting like you have a stick up your arse! Damn you Steve, do you really think I did it to hurt you?! I was kidding, having fun! Something you don't seem to know much about!"
"Perhaps I am just a bit more tight-lipped then you. Perhaps I don't feel comfortable making other people that I care about nervous!" He slammed the phone down and began to pace the office.
Susan sat on the couch, trying to fight back sobs. He was right, she knew. Not everyone was like her, and that meant that they didn�t have to enjoy her loud mouth ways. She sighed deeply and cursed herself. She really did have a loud mouth. Bloody hell. Suddenly she grabbed the phone and called Steve back, praying he'd answer. She let it ring for a whole ten minutes, and when she got no response she hung up and went to bed.
An hour later, with Susan still in bed but not asleep, due to trying to keep the terrible knot in her stomach from growing, the door slammed open, then slammed shut. Keys were slammed onto the table. "SUSAN!" Steve bellowed.
His shout had startled her so much that she jumped, nearly falling out of the bed. He had never yelled at her like that! "I'm in the bloody bedroom!" She hollered back, trying to sound like her usual sassy self. "You don't need to bloody yell. This apartment is small enough for me to hear you pass gas from the kitchen."
"COME HERE!" Was his response. There was a slight pause. "NOW!"
Her eyes went wide, and her heart practically jumped in her throat. He had never done that before. For a moment all she could do was sit there in bed and stare at the door, her eyes wide and her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest.
She could hear him stomp and he entered the bedroom, slamming the door open. "Did you not hear me?" He snapped. "It doesn't matter. I have one thing to say to you. I've about had it with you constantly making me uncomfortable and then putting me down when I try to tell you that you do. I am so close to walking out that door. I don't need that type of shit after Jane and her psychotic behavior! So you have two choices. One, I�ll spank you, and it damn well won't be erotic! Or two, I leave now and stay with Jeff until I get my own place." He went silent, looking deadly serious, his arms crossed over his chest.
She stared at him, shocked. "Why would you leave?" She wanted to know. "This is your apartment we're in after all." She couldn't believe she had said that. Of all the things to say after what he had just said, she chose to speak about that!
"Because I don't believe in kicking women out. Except in the case of Jane. I would have kicked her out in a heartbeat. I respect you more then that, even if that respect isn't returned. So your choice is that I leave? Fine." He grabbed a pair of sleep pants and headed to the bathroom for his toothbrush.
She got up and went to stand in the doorway of the bathroom. "Do you really want to leave?" She asked softly, trying to fight back tears.
"Of course not." He said seriously. "I love you. But I cannot continue to be with someone who cannot respect me for who and what I am. I love your fiery spirit and your ability to speak your mind no matter what. But not when it hurts me, and not when you dismiss my hurt as something silly, childish, or ridiculous. I don't want to be in a relationship where respect and love aren't shared by both involved. I don't want to be one-sided. We decided a long time ago this was going to be more then just damn good sex." He grabbed his toothbrush, then brushed by her and headed back to the bedroom.
"Steve, I'm sorry." She said as she leaned against the door jam. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't do what I did in the pub to hurt you. I was just being.....me. But sometimes that's not good, because I don't think about how my words will hurt others, just like you said. I don't do it intentionally, but it happens, and I'm sorry."
"Sorry doesn�t mean much right now Susan. I gave you my terms. You made your choice." He grabbed a shirt for the next day and walked towards the door, hoping with every fiber of his being that she would stop him for walking out the door.
This was not exactly what she had hoped for. She had wanted him to come home, scold her, and then spank her, and then they could make up and then make love! But this was not her own world to rule things the way she wanted, and she could not make Steve do anything if he didn't want to. This was a relationship, and it couldn't be one sided like he said. They both had to bend sometimes. "Steve." She called softly, still fighting back those damn tears. "Do you remember what we talked about the other day?" She asked, her voice small and miserable sounding.
He whirled around "Yes, I do. But I'm not talking about some fantasy for foreplay." He snapped. "I'm talking about using the old adage 'you won't sit for a week' and making it come true, because that is how bloody pissed off I am right now!"
She bit her lip. "Is fantasy and foreplay what we talked about?" She asked, brushing her hair behind her shoulder as she went to sit on the bed.
"I don't know, you're damned complicated Susan! But this is your last chance to choose punishment or my leaving, and I'll be sticking by whatever you choose."
Tears began to slide down her face. "I was not talking about foreplay the other day. I told you that. Surely you remember what I said."
"ANSWER THE QUESTION DAMNIT OR I WILL FOR YOU!" He thundered.
Her eyes went wide and she cringed, pushing herself back up against the headboard. "And if you were to answer it, what would you say?" She wanted to know, sounding like she was about to start bawling.
He dropped his things and stormed to the bed, taking her by the wrist and pulling her across his thighs. An arm went around her waist; he raised his other arm high and brought his hand down hard on her panty-clad bottom. SMACK! "Does that answer your question? This is what I have ded ded for you, because I don't want to leave! But from now on, every time you humiliate me or push my honesty aside because it disagrees with your personality, this is what you are going to get!" He started spanking hard and fast.
Susan began to cry as his hand struck her bottom over and over, harder and faster then she thought was possible. Part of her was horrified and scared, but part of her was happy that he had finally done what she wanted him to. To take control and make her answer, and pay, for her bratty ways. She was an independent woman and was always in control of everything, and sometimes it was nice to let someone else control things. But she had to admit this spanking was not going to be an erotic spanking at all, just pure punishment. The heat was building up fastd thd the pain was really starting to get to her. She continued to cry. "I didn't mean to humiliate you." She bawled. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I wouldn't hurt you on purpose Steve, I swear!"
"I know Susan, but you did and you have and I'm tired of it!" He stopped and pulled down her panties, greeted by the sight of a lovely blushing bottom. Normally he would have stopped to admire, rub, maybe even tickle her sides a little. But not this time. SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK! He continued to spank hard and fast, catching even the tops of her thighs, and her sit spot.
She started to cry ehardharder. Ohhh, it hurt so badly. But she did not beg him to stop. She would not do so. Not right away, that is. She deserved it for hurting him. Bloody hell, she was such a bitch sometimes. "I'm sorry!" She howled as she buried her face against his leg. "I'm so sorry. Don't hate me, please!" Each of her fists clenched a hand full of his pants as she cried, and she squirmed and wiggled like mad.
"I don't hate you. If I did, I wouldn�t beng tng this, now would I?" SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK! After landing another dozen spanks, harder then any before, he stopped and rubbed her back in slow, comforting circles.
Susan lay there across his lap, sobbing hard and loud. Her bottom felt like he had held it over a fire, and it throbbed too. Lordy, with the way it was feeling now, she was willing to bet that she wouldn�t truly be unable to sit for a week, just like he promised.
"Shhh, it's all over now Susan." Steve said softly, rubbing her back. "It's all over. I love you, I love you." He whispered, kissing the back of her head.
Susan, still sobbing, slowly got up, kissed him quickly on the lips, then stumbled over to a corner and pressed her nose into it, her panties still about her knees, showing off her bright red bottom. Her small shoulders heaved with her sobs and she wrapped her arms around herself.
Steve watched her, looking terribly confused. "Susan, I never asked you to do that." He said. "What are you doing? Come here." He just wanted to hold her and make sure she was okay.
Still sobbing, she hurriedly did as he asked, happy that he was going to hold her. She threw herself onto his lap, then threw her arms around his neck, laid her head on his shoulder, and continued to cry. "I'm sorry." She wailed. "I'm so sorry. I just wasn't thinking and I was *hiccup* being me and *hiccup* and that can be bloody well bad and *hiccup* just didn't mean to!"
"Shhh, I know darling. I know." He rocked her slightly in his arms, rubbing her back as he held her tightly. "I love you and I forgive you Susan."
She sniffled and held onto him tightly. "I didn't mean to put you down when you tried to explain how you felt." She told him. "I just thought you knew that I was messing around, and thought because I thought it was funny you would too. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be cruel. I just thought you were being overly sensitive but I know you weren't but I just thought it and--." She was interrupted by another hiccup and then she continued to cry.
"Susan, you don't have to explain. I know, I understand, and I forgive you love. Hush now darling ." He kissed her deeply, holding her tight.
She cried for a while longer, then finally began to calm down. "My arse hurts." Was the first thing she said once she was calm. Her voice was very tiny, sounding like a small child.
"Obviously." He chuckled. "Serves you right, and now you've learned your lesson and are my darling Susan again."
She whimpered and clung to him. "Are you really going to do this every time I use my loud mouth too much?" She asked as she fiddled with the buttons on his shirt.
"Yes." He said firmly. "You have to learn to think about those around yod thd their feelings. Not just how much fun it is to be the center of attention while making everyone laugh."
�But I wasn�t trying to be the center of attention!� She whined. �I was just.....just....I don�t know, but I wasn�t trying to be the center of attention! I wasn�t!�
"But that is exactly what happens when you do things like that. And it's not a bad thing, unless you are making someone upset or uncomfortable, or you offend someone."
�But I didn�t know that would upset you so much, I swear. You�re usually not such an uptight wanker.� She commented, not thinking before she spoke, as always.
Steve groaned. "Well, just try and think please. And do you always have to call me that? It's not always true you know."
�What do you mean, not always true?� She asked, looking up at him, grinning.
He nibbled her nose. "Shush, let's go to bed, hmm? Maybe I can make you forget all about your roasted arse."
�Can I have some lotion to put on it first?� She begged.
He nodded. "Grab whichever one of those thousand bottles you have, and I'll do that for you."
She stuck her tongue out at him, then crawled off his lap, sniffling as she went. She opened a drawer and pulled out a jar of cream that Steve couldn�t recall seeing. Smiling, she walked over to him and handed it to him. On the label it said, �Honeybun Products.� He looked up at her, and she blushed. �It�s a special cream that I found on the Internet.� She told him. �It�s for bottoms that have just been soundly spanked. I bought it one day on impulse, even though you and I weren�t into spanking at the time. Guess I was wishing it was true, and buying that gave me hope for some reason.� She shrugged and rubbed her arm, blushing as she did.
Steve looked at her, looked at the jar, then at her again and started laughing hysterically. "Susan, you never cease to amaze me!" She blushed a deeper shade of red, but said nothing, and he helped her back over his lap and then rubbed on the cream. " How's that feel?" He asked, curious to know if it actually worked.
She was still blushing terribly as he rubbed in the cream. It felt nice actually, very cool and calming. �It�s helping.� She whispered.
�Good." He said softly. "Are you ready for bed, my soundly spanked love?" He helped her to sit in his lap again and caressed her cheek.
She nodded and hugged him, then kissed him many times. �Thank you.� She told him over and over. �Thank you for being stern and strict.� She told him. �I did need it, for many reasons. Though I have to admit that you scared the bloody hell out of me when you yelled at me.� She said, sighing.
"Well, I was kind of going for that effect." He grinned and winked at her.
Her eyes went wide, and then she blinked. �Oh.� She said, blushing yet again. �Well, you did what you set out to do then, and very well I might add.� She said, shivering a little.
He smiled, then kissed her while he pulled her onto the bed and under the covers. "I love you Susan." He said between deep kisses.
�I love you too, so much.� She murmured, and for the rest of the night they had nothing but fun, and expressed true love for each other.
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The Loudmouth Syndrome