Hearts Breaking Even | By : Eva Category: M through R > Pretender Views: 2236 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own The Pretender, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title:
Hearts Breaking Even
Author:
Mary Eve Parker ms.parker@gmx.at
<- NEW!!!!
Can
find the story under: www.angelfire.com/tv2/pretendersmut
Note:
The title is taken from a Bon Jovi Song I love a lot, form the album “These
days” which is special to me because it was my very first concert I attended.
Lyrics:
www.songlyrics.co.nz/lyrics/b/bonjovi/heartsbreaking.htm
Response
to: Tiffany’s February List challenge
Rating:
Hey, it’s me, guess …. NC-17
THANKS:
to Loel and Melanie – what would I do without them? Really, Melanie ….LY
Hearts Breaking Even
by
Mary Eve Parker
"Shut up
Broots! Go with Sydney, I am old enough to head up to the church
on my own!” I shouted and left them.
The sun was
shining down, warm on my face; I should buy some spring clothing when I get
back to my hotel room, before I head upstairs. My black trousers are too warm
for this weather. I never thought that it could get this warm in early April in
Vienna, never.
I am even able to
smell the different flowers – tulips, iris and daffodils. I have been in Vienna once before, but during that journey I was just able
to visit all those important discos and some monuments. Juste she short views
on the major hall and the Schönbrunn castle, things I thought my dad would like
to see pictures of, but he never did.
We had a lead on
Jarod that brought us to Austria. The flight was nearly a catastrophe
because Broots got sick. Thanks to the crew, I didn’t sit next to him during the
flight. He got a seat near the toilets. Syd said that he wasn’t alright back
home, so maybe I should have asked him first, before booking the flights,
maybe. But hell, I am the boss over here, so he has to do what I want.
So, here we are
now, in the botanic garden of Vienna. It’s not as big as the one I visited in Moscow, but it’s different too. For example there isn’t any entry to pay, and
it’s much warmer than it was in Russia. I'm getting
pretty warm in my sweater.
Syd and Broots
are searching for Jarod on the left side of the garden and me on the right, the
one which seems to be near the castle. I asked the taxi driver what it is called.
He grinned and said that it’s “Belvedere”.
At this time, I
started to remember that it was built by a prince called Eugene of Savoy, I
read this in a book about Austrian history when I was at boarding school in Italy. But it was a long time ago anforgforgot many things
during the years.
Broots had found
the lead on Jarod, or maybe it was just a trick of my rat boy, I am not sure.
Maybe he is still in Delaware, who can know? But we are here now and I
have the feeling that he is very close to us, maybe just a few days and we’ll
have him.
I try to
concentrate on the people who are studying the flowers in the garden. I read at
the entry, when I was waiting for Broots and Syd that it’s a part of the
University. They are mostly students. The park is full of young people, younger
than me but on the benches, there are old couples or mothers with their
children.
I decided to stop
at the small fountain, to watch the people a little, drink some water, and get
rid of my sweater. Under it I was wearing a soft white linen blouse, matching
my underwear. I really need to buy some lighter clothes. I’ll die in these
black jeans of mine if I have to wear them every day, if the heat persists.
I saw a young
mother, maybe aged eighteen or nineteen), I'm not sure, with her baby. She was
nursing him, while a two-year-old was playing with stones in front of her. She
was looking relaxed and calm, smiling at her baby.
On another bench,
I saw an old couple, in their mid-seventies. The man with white hair was
talking to his wife. They laughed at something he said and were holding hands.
Will I ever be
able to sit somewhere with a baby in my arm or just with the man in my life,
arm in arm, for an hour without being disturbed, without being afraid of being
caught? I guess not. It would be a miracle.
I could see Broots
and Sydney through the trees and bushes. They were talking to each other. I
wasn’t even able to talk to Syd in the same way as Broots doermalrmally. I’m
hidden, always, hidden inside myself.
Slowly I went up
to the church, a small Catholic church which was held by nuns. We’d decided to
meet up there, because I wanted to talk to the priest. He was the connection we
had with Jarod. By the botanic garden, the entry of the church goes through the
playground of the Catholic kindergarten.
I knocked twice
and a nun opened the small door. She looked friendly and smiled at me.
“Was kann ich für
Sie tun?” she asked me and I tried to collected the few German phrases I
remembered and figured out that she may have asked me if she can help me in any
way.
“I want to talk
to Father Paul," I said and smiled at her.
"Oh, yes, of
course," she said, “you have to be Miss Parker. Come with me, I will take
you to him.”
Slowly I went
through the garden, watching my feet and trying not to see those happy children
playing in their sandbox. They giggled and did other typical childish things that
all kids do.
“Father Paul,
this is Miss Parker,&q the the nun introduced me. In front of me was a young
man sitting, maybe in his early forties. He was wearing black jeans and a grey
polo. His hair was short, he was tall and slim, and he was wearing thin
glasses.
“It’s an honour
to meet you, Miss Parker," he said in broken English.
“I hope Jarod has
told you something nice of me too.” I answered with a grin and we shook hands.
Father Paul smiled back.
“Let’s go for a
little walk. Okay?”
“Sure, whatever
you want.” I mumbled.
I couldn’t
believe it but it was the first time in ages that I felt comfortable around a
priest, the first time since Mum died.
“You aren’t
Austrian, are you, Father Paul?” I asked shyly. I have never been comfortable
talking to priests.
“You are right,
Miss Parker, I am Slovakian, but please call me just Paul. Father makes me feel
like I am already as old as the Pope.”
We both laughed.
The man really laughed with me.
“You know that
Jarod and I met. I figured it out long ago, that it was important for him, that
I will tell you everything.”
“You figured it
out? Jarod is normally an open book …”
“No, Miss Parker,
he’s a very shy little boy if you know him like I know him. He gave me
something for you, but I am not sure that you’ll be comfortable with it. He
told me that you two have a very complicated relationship. This present seems
to be rather personal. He has told me what it is, I haven't looked at it. It’s
yours. I have it st und under my bed in my room.”
We sat down on a
small bench near the water fountain, the one where I paused on my way up.
“The water is
pretty fine and yoem tem to sweat a little. Do you want some?” I just nodded.
From an old woman
near the fountain, he got a glass. She seemed to sell them or hand them out.
And he brought me the glass of water.
I remember the
time in Italy when I was able to drink the water from
the pipes, pretty good water directly from the Alps.
But that was long ago. I read that they sprinkle their plants with this great
water, and this was pretty good. It didn’t smell and tasted perfect. I really
let it run through my mouth, from one side to the o. f
I took the bear
out of the box and found under it a note from Jarod.
“Meet
me there where many ways get you into but just one brings you out. The place we
always met, so nobody can find us. Ask the man at the reception where this
could be. Always, J.”
God Jarod you and
your games! How shall I know what he means with this, one way out and many ways
in? Somewhere where we met when we were young? Somewhere nobody can find us
because just one way brings you to the place you want to head to? Only one
place? Jarod, please, once without any riddles, just once please.
Suddenly the
phone next to me rang and I nearly fell off the bed because it startled me.
“Yes?” I asked
shyly, not sure who had this number.
“So you’ve been
at Father Paul’s?” this remarkable male voice said.
“Sure, like
always, just one step behind you. But you know Jarod, once …”
“Stop it Parker,
I will always be one in front at least as long as I want to be because you know
that I am able to do so. Even if I am one step behind you, you wouldn’t even
recognize it because you are so fixed on finding me that you don’t even risk looking
back, once.”
”What do you mean?” I asked, not sure what he wanted to tell me with this
cryptic sentence.
“Were you hot in
your sweater today?” He said and I could already feel him smile through the
phone.
“You were at the
botanic garden, great. So why didn't you give me the gift in person. Afraid I would
shoot you?”
“You wouldn’t
shoot me in front of a clerical. Parker you won’t even be able to shoot me if I
was under your bed now.”
Right, he was
right. I couldn’t shoot him, not even if he was under my bed. I wasn’t able to
see him hurt. Shit, this can't be Parker, this can't be. You hto bto bring him
back so you get your life and he gets the life they want. No chance to change
this plan.
“So see you
tomorrow at three.”
“Where is the place
I will find you? I haven't a clue what you mean with that!”
“Think, where did
we met when we were young in secret?”
“The vent
system.” I answered knowing.
“Okay and what is
the vent system at all? I mean if you see it all in all and not just the place
we met. I mean there are many ways to get into the system but just one way to
get out of the Centre, isn’t it so?” he said, knowing that he was right.
These were the
last words he said before I heard the dial tone. At least I realised what the
riddle should tell me now.
I changed into a
pair of dark blue Levis and a light blue linen blouse with ¾
sleeves and headed in my nice typical American cowboy boots downstairs to the
reception to ask where this could be.
“Sorry sir, I
have a question. May you tell me where I can find any labyrinths in Vienna, sir?”
“I’d say one of
the most famous is at Schönbrunn, in park behind the castle. There are some
smaller ones and some tourists call the small streets from the city back to the
hotel a comp lab labyrinth, but if you are looking for a real one, go to
Schönbrunn.”
“Schönbrunn,
that’s the big old castle isn’t it? The one next to the zoo?”
“Yes, you are
right Miss. Ever been to Vienna before?” he asked me with a smile. He was
an old man, maybe in his late sixties, with green eyes and short white hair.
His smile was lovely. Unfortunately, I never knew any of my grandparents, I
never met one of them. I always wondered how it would be to have somebody to
tell you how it was in the past. I’ve learned a lot in history, in all the
boarding schools in Europe but never anything about the past of my
family, never.
“Not really Sir
and thank you, you’ve been a big help.”
With the paper in
my hand I got back into the elevator and thought about it. He was good, pretty
good with riddles, but I wouldn’t have solved this without his help. Never.
I played with the
paper in my hand tud turned it from one side to the other one and I now noticed
that this was a used sheet of paper; I mean something was written on the
backside of it. God this was my handwriting!
“Things
I want to DO when I grow up
•
kiss a boy
• p;&np;
become a grandmother
•
read all books my
Alexandre Dumas
•
once hug Cary Grant
•
go to Buenos Aires to see Evita’s grave
sun, talking to each other. On the one side, I noticed two old man with
a chess board. That’s what I like such a lot about Vienna, everybody seems to be such relaxed, nobody cares about time. Well at
least it seems that way.
What is Vienna famous for? Let me remember what I read on the
flight while Syd and Broots were asleep? It’s famous for the “Kaffeehäuser”,
like we’d say coffee shops and really you have one of them on every corner,
well then for “Mozartkugeln” – something sweet I don’t like a lot. It’s made of
chocolate and marzipan and seems to melt in your mouth. Then they love sitting
outside in parks a lot, that’s what we like too I guess. They are famous for
their old buildings – and I have just seen a few of them, let me remember
those. I saw Belvedere Castle with its wonderful gardens, the botanic garden, and the state opera
near the hotel. I love the state opera; it’s so different from what I’d seen
before. Somehow it’s similar to other typical European buildings but well it’s
different at all. I also saw “Stefanskirche “ or as the man said to me “Saint
Stefan’s Cathedral”. It’s much more a cathedral than any American I have seen.
It’s a mix of styles. Yes I have made a small shopping walk through the city,
and yes the city is pretty small, the centre at least. Thank God that I haven't
forgotten all my German and pronunciation during the years. It’s a little
Gothic and then a little Romantic. Inside it reminds me too of Canterville, the
simple way, the high church house, the three ships. Sure Anglican Churches are
different, but this one was something special to me. I couldn’t resist heading
to a side altar, where people lit candles. It seems to me like there would be a
sea of burning candles. So I lit one too, for Mamma. I knelt down for a silent
prayer and added:
“I want to swear Mamma,
that I will try not to hurt Jarod today. I’ll try to understand him; try to
think about what he says. Please God, I am not a very religious person, but
please, let me once remember this oath in the minute I need it.” I finished,
made a cross on my chest, like everybody does here and stood up.
Suddenly I saw a
bright light coming through one of the windows and a voice was speaking to me.
I felt like I would freeze and time with me.
“He’ll always be
there for you. He never wanted to see you cry. You’ve been strong through the
years, but now come home child, come home my little girl and show him the girl
you’ve once been. He will not judge the things you have done or said towards
him during the last years, nor will he do anything towards you, nothing you
don’t want him to do. Be yourself my little darling, be the girl I remember and
not the woman you’ve been changed into. Be the little girl who loved Mr. Spooky
so much that you gave him to Jarod, so that he would be able to cuddle with
somebody in bed. The little girl who was able to smile and laugh innocently.
The girl I loved so dearly.” I stood there, looking into the light. I wasn’t
sure but it seemed to me like I’d see mum in there, her beautiful dark hair curling
around her face, her remarkable eyes with this smile in them and a big smile on
her face, which always brightened my day when I saw it.
Suddenly an old
woman grabbed me as she nearly fell to the floor. This ripped me out of my
dream or whatever it was. I caught her just in time.
“Entschuldigung,”
she said to me and I smiled at her. “Sie verstehen mich nicht oder?” she asked me, but I was just smiling at her.
“Ich verstehe sie, aber mein
Deutsch ist nicht mehr das Beste. Es ist lange her dass ich es gesprochen
habe.“
"Sie sind Amerikanerin?“
she asked me and I nodded in agreement, my accent obviously noticeable .
“Es ist gut zu wissen dass
auch junge Leute noch an Gott glauben, es ist doch so selten geworden, dass man
ein junges Gesicht in den altern Mauern hier sieht“ she said and I nodded in
agreement.
It really has
been a long time since I have to in church or even said a prayer for anybody. I
had lost the rest of my faith with Thomas' death. If God had been there,
nothing would have happened because he’d have protected him.
I said goodbye to
the old lady and she said that she’ll include me in her prayers and I thanked
her for it and left the church.
Was it really my
mother?
So I was walking
through the castle park now, thinking about the day. Many things have happened
since we landed. I had completely forgotten- I smiled at the thought - to tell
Syd and Broots where I was going. It was better this way because if Jarod did
really show up, I would want him alone, not to share him with my friends?
Within a couple
of minute I was standing at the “entry” of the labyrinth. There were a couple
of ways going from where I was standing. Some kids were playing around my feet
and I needed to watch where I was stepping.
A woman with a
baby in her arms was sitting nearby to watch the children when the blanket fell
from her knee. It was like a mutual reflex to pic it up. I went towards her,
knelt down and picked it up. It was a soft and cosy light blue baby blanket.
The woman just smiled and thanked me bur bar baby started to cry again and she
started to nurse, so it was time for me to leave without words.
I guessed that I
remembered the right way would be number four, but I was wrong when I headed
through it for about ten minutes. So I went back, which wasn’t that easy at
all. Where was my photographic memory? So I was standing at the entry again and
thinking.
“Drei,” the
little boy next to me whispered and I bent down to his height.
“Was hast du gesagt?”
I asked and he put three little fingers up to let me know that I should try
three.
“Danke,” I said
and smiled at the boy. He was cute. A little three year old with blond curls
and big blue eyes. Sooner than his mother might think he’ll be breaking the
girls’ hearts.
I turned around
again to see four or five kids in a circle, hand in hand singing:
“Ringl, ringl reia,
simma unsa dreia, simma unterm Hollabusch, machen alle husch husch husch,” they
sang and giggled.
A child’s rhyme,
how long was it since I have heard such a line? Long, that’s sure.
I went into three
and really it was the right way. I managed to remember the right crossings, the
right corners to look at and finally I stood in the middle of it where a small
table was standing, decorated with fine porcelain dishes, wine glasses and a
bottle of white wine was standing in the cooler. Cheese and vines were served
on a separate dish, near some bread.
“You made it,” I
heard a whisper from behind that made me shudder. It was him, really him,
standing behind me. God bless my soul if this wasn’t one of the most erotic
acts I have ever been in – a little whisper and I was melting, aroused from
just the voice and the breath which hit my neck.
I couldn’t turn
around to let him see my dilated pupils. And I didn’t need to because he made
his way around me, sitting down at the one side of the table.
“If I remember
your habits well, you haven't eaten lunch yet. Have you?”
“No Jarod but how
can you be sure that I haven't brought somebody with me?” I asked and sat down
on the other side.
”I know you. I knew that if you would come and find me, you would come alone.”
”Why?” I nearly whispered.
“I know you well
Parker remember this,” he said and smiled. He looked great. He wasn’t wearing
the usual black, instead he wore a dark green polo shirt and beige trousers,
and over his shoulders was a wool pullover in dark red. God he was just
looking more than handsome.
“You look good,”
he said while he put a vine in his mouth. “Some wine?” he asked me and I nodded.
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