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Saviour	By : angeljade Category: M through R > One Tree Hill Views: 2317 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Saviour
- 2-Chapter 2
- 1
- 2
Title: Saviour
Author: Angel Jade
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: incest, slash, angst, alcohol, mild violence, language, sex.
Spoilers: S2
Pairings: Lucas/Nathan, Nathan/other
Summary: It�s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you have your eyes closed. But when Lucas tries to get Nathan to open his, they both make a discovery that could change everything.
Setting: S2
Feedback: angel_jadeuk@hotmail.com
Site: http://www.badsideoftown.net/
Distribution: If you�ve had my permission before, you have it now. Anyone else, ask first please.
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the characters in the fic, nor do I make money from borrowing them.
Author�s note: Don�t even ask. I have no idea. I just loved fucked up Nathan. I can�t help it. This is yet another attempted drabble that refused to be short. Only 7000 words more than I intended it to be.
It�s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you have your eyes closed. That�s what Lucas tries to tell Nathan in amidst all the pain and suffering the troubled teenager is going through. But Nathan doesn�t want to hear it. Maybe he�s proving Lucas� point here. Maybe he just doesn�t care either way. Nathan rather likes where he is right now. Or that�s what he tells himself.

Lucas doesn�t know the half of it. There are times Nathan is tempted to tell his half-brother some of the things he�s done in his spiral of self-destruction, just to see that �I�m here for you� expression disappear right off the older boy�s face. But then Nathan begrudgingly admits he has a soft spot for the interfering blond, so he reluctantly puts up with the inspiring speeches and pleas for Nathan to pull himself together. He�s not even sure he could tell Lucas. He can�t think about what he�s become since losing Haley, how easily he fell into this behaviour as if it had been part of his life longer than his estranged wife.

The first time was the worst. The proposition had come out of the blue while he sat at the bar; nursing a drink he knew he was damn well lucky to have been sold. It was most likely the venue and it�s less than desirable location that had prompted such a low life to ask, but Nathan had no intention of going elsewhere. He was fast running out of places that would accept his fake ID. That didn�t mean, of course, that he had to accept the invitation, only that he had to put up with it. And yet�something in Nathan forced out a nod and he found himself blindly following the stranger into the men�s room, happy the alcohol was numbing him enough that he couldn�t bring himself to care what he was about to do.

When he finally sobered up, Nathan spent several hours locked in his bathroom, hopelessly sobbing out everything he�d been trying so hard to suppress. He was disgusted with himself. And yet, a few nights later, he went back.

It quickly became an odd addiction. It was so far away from what he�d had with Haley, but it held a sick appeal, which Nathan didn�t want to understand. It would have ended eventually; Nathan knows he never would have let it continue.

Only he isn�t given the chance.

Lucas follows him to the bar one night. Sees his brother disappear into the bathroom with a scruffy man in his thirties and eventually decides to follow him in. He hears sounds that don�t quite register at first, mainly because they�re so unexpected. A grunt of pain, however, soon remedies that. Recognising the sound of his brother�s voice, Lucas pounds on the locked door and calls out for Nathan, quickly slipping into an unoccupied stall when there�s no immediate answer. He climbs onto the toilet and looks over the stall to see his brother hastily dressing, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Lucas steps down, feeling a strong wave of nausea wash over him. He stands there staring at nothing until Nathan finally comes out and slips into the stall with him. Neither of them pays any attention to the man leaving the room; they�re too focused on each other.

�What the hell are you doing here?� Nathan demands, swaying slightly on his feet. �Did you follow me?�

Lucas doesn�t know what to say. He�s just so scared for Nathan right now and this�this is out of his league. �Nathan, I�� He breaks off, feeling utterly destroyed by this revelation. Perhaps more than he should.

It�s hard to ignore the look of disappointment and disgust on his brother�s face, a fact that Nathan is only too aware of right now. �You shouldn�t have come here.�

�I don�t�understand.� Lucas starts. �Are you doing this for money?�

�No!� Nathan snaps, before pounding his fist on the wall, uselessly. �I don�t know. Just don�t ask me, okay? I don�t know.�

�I watched you come in here. You didn�t look like you even knew that guy. What, do you just come here and wait for some drunk pervert to ask for a quick fuck in the bathroom?� Lucas asks, trying to understand.

�Mind your own fucking business.� Nathan growls at him. �It�s not your problem.�

�If you�re not doing it for money, what the hell are you doing it for?�

Nathan clenches his jaw shut and stares at the wall, his inability to answer making him lose the little confidence he has left.

�So you get off on doing it with anyone who asks? What if I fucking asked you, would you do it?� Lucas asks, the words slipping out before he even realises what he�s saying.

Nathan doesn�t seem as shocked by the words as Lucas is, but then Lucas isn�t even sure Nathan�s on the same planet these days. The younger Scott boy just shrugs pathetically. �Ask. Go on. I don�t care anymore. Ask me.�

�You�re drunk.� Lucas states in disgust.

�Drunk enough to do whatever you want. So what is it you want, Lucas? Why did you even come here? Do you know why most guys come to this bar? It�s a fucking dive, man! They don�t come here for the service. At least not that kind.�

�Can you even hear yourself?� Lucas demands. �You�re coming on to your own brother.�

�You started it.� Nathan retorts, leaning against the wall. �So do you want this or not?� He is determined to see this through; the subject will not be dropped.

Lucas feels as if he�s the one who�s been drinking, his head is swimming as he realises Nathan is closing the distance between them. He can�t get the words out, especially once he realises Nathan�s hand is pressing against his crotch. It�s so surreal Lucas half expects to turn around and find himself naked in front of the entire school. He knows this is where he�s supposed to drag Nathan home and point out how fucked up all of this is and for a split second he has every intention of doing that. But then his dick responds and the whole fucking world goes to hell.

�Don�t�� Lucas manages to grind out, making no move to stop his inebriated brother.

Nathan smirks and inches closer. �You can look at me like that all you want, you�re just as fucked up as I am. At least I�m honest about it.�

Lucas pulls back and shakes his head. �You�re wasted and I�m not doing this. You need help.�

�Have you always wanted me or is it just since you realised I�m a whore?� Nathan baits, enjoying watching his brother slowly falling apart before his eyes. He doesn�t feel so alone anymore, now he has company in his self-inflicted darkness.

But Lucas isn�t going to fall that easily. �We�re going home and you�re going to stop doing this to yourself.�

�If you say so.� Nathan relents, no energy to fight back anymore. He raises his hands to prove he�s not going to try anything else.

Lucas is just relieved the tension is finally off his embarrassing reaction to Nathan�s fooling around. Or so he thinks.

�Can I at least help you with that first?� Nathan gestures at Lucas� erection, laughing at the shade of red his brother is turning at the suggestion. �Alright, you�re so determined to be a boy scout, lets get out of here.�

Lucas is far too messed up to think of anything to say, so he gratefully follows Nathan out of the bathroom in silence. He frowns as one of the men at the bar makes an obscene comment to his group of friends as they walk past. It makes Lucas wonder exactly how many of these losers Nathan has let use him. It takes all the willpower he has not to walk over and introduce his fist to each and every one of their faces. Nathan, meanwhile, is seemingly oblivious, continuing his walk of shame outside to Lucas� truck. As they both climb in, Lucas goes to start up the engine, but hesitates. It takes a moment before Nathan realises they�re just sitting there.

�What?� He asks, irritably, knowing that come tomorrow morning, his headache is going to be nothing compared to the humiliation of what he�s just done. But for now�he�s only pissed off his night has been cut short.

Lucas looks at his brother, expression unreadable. �Would you actually have done it?�

Nathan isn�t following and is almost sure he doesn�t want to.

�If I�d asked you? Would you?� Lucas asks, seeing Nathan�s look of confusion. He really doesn�t want to bring this subject back up, but he has to know. And he�s positive it�s solely out of concern for just how far Nathan has gone in his mission to self-destruct, nothing to do with wanting it.

Nathan laughs to hide how awkward he feels. At the time it really had seemed like a good idea. Now�not so much. But there�s still the matter of Lucas getting hard, Nathan knows he�s always got that as back up. �Why you asking? Changed your mind?�

�This isn�t�!� Lucas forces himself to calm down; he doesn�t want to argue about this. He just wants it to start making sense. �I�m not asking. I just want to know if you would have. Can�t you see what you�re doing to yourself? Is this to get back at Haley...? �Cause I�ve got to say�your methods suck. You�re gonna get yourself into some serious trouble.�

Nathan nods, sarcastically. �Thanks for your advice, all of a sudden I feel so much better. Can we go now?�

Lucas sighs hopelessly and starts the truck. What else can he do?

*~*~*~*

He stays over that night, mostly because it�s already late and partly because he�s afraid to leave Nathan alone. Nathan makes a half-hearted attempt to insult him, accuses him of being too scared to admit what he wants, then puts himself to bed without a fuss.

Lucas is left alone on the couch, knowing he won�t get much sleep after what has just happened. He sits back and closes his eyes in desperation. Things just keep getting worse. It�s hard not to dwell on the one thing really bothering him, however much he tries. He just keeps picturing the smug look on Nathan�s face as he reached out and grabbed Lucas� crotch, not even flinching as Lucas� cock hardened under his touch. It would be easy to blame it on malfunctioning anatomy, but it doesn�t explain the twisted feeling he can feel in the pit of his stomach. He should feel sick, disgusted�anything but the need for more.

No, he definitely won�t be getting much sleep tonight.

*~*~*~*

Six hours later, Lucas promptly wakes to the sound of Nathan walking out of the bathroom. He�s barely slept and his body is already complaining about it. Still, he�s eager to see Nathan sober so they can have a proper conversation. He forces himself not to pay too much attention to the fact Nathan is wearing only a towel around his waist, this is going to be hard enough as it is. �You feeling okay?�

Nathan looks over as if he�s just realised Lucas is there. �Oh, hey man. Did I wake you?�

�No, didn�t really get much sleep.� Lucas admits. �I should get going soon anyway.�

Nathan nods, not really caring either way. He heads over to the refrigerator and hunts for edible food.

Lucas realises Nathan isn�t going to start talking on his own, so he stands and puts on his jeans, before heading over to the kitchen. �We gonna talk about last night?�

�What about it?� Nathan asks, hint of a dare for Lucas to start this up again in his voice.

Lucas isn�t intimidated. �Man, I think you should get some help.�

Nathan laughs and slams the fridge door shut. �Makes two of us if I recall.�

�I�m not the one getting drunk every chance I get and fucking strangers for the hell of it.� Lucas snaps at him, annoyed that Nathan is planning on using this against him. It�s bad enough it happened, without having it thrown in his face when he�s trying to help.

Nathan tries to hide the fact he�s bothered by Lucas� words, but he�s fooling no one. Including himself. �I�m sorry I got you into it, but it�s really none of your damn business.�

�What if I tell your parents?� Lucas asks, not sure what kind of reaction he�s going to get to a threat.

Nathan goes to make his own threat, but at the look on Lucas� face, he can�t bring himself to do it. �What do you want from me, Luke? I�m dealing with this the best I can, okay? I�ll stop going if you want, but it�s really not that big of a deal.� Even Nathan isn�t convinced.

�Promise me you won�t go back.� Lucas asks him. �No more screwing around with people you don�t know.�

�Fine, whatever.� Nathan shrugs. But Lucas doesn�t look satisfied. �I promise, okay?! Now leave me in peace.�

Lucas turns to leave, but there�s still one thing he needs Nathan to understand. �What happened when you�it wasn�t what you think. I�m not into you or anything.�

Nathan smiles to himself as he continues making breakfast. �It�s cool, man. I�m not gonna tell anybody.�

�But you know it wasn�t because I was�you know, turned on, right?� Lucas feels so stupid and Nathan�s smirk really isn�t helping matters. Neither is the fact that Lucas can�t help but look at Nathan�s chest every five seconds.

�Sure, if you say so.� Nathan answers, casually, not even looking over at his red-faced brother.

Not sure whether there�s any sarcasm in those words, Lucas is forced to leave without his answer. Besides, how can he convince Nathan he isn�t attracted to him when he�s starting to doubt it himself? He can�t deny he�s noticed certain physical attributes before, but until last night, they never meant anything. Lucas wonders if he should just put some distance between him and his brother to clear his head, but Nathan needs him and Lucas wants to be there. He just wishes he knew for sure why he wants to be around Nathan so damn much.

*~*~*~*

The minute Lucas is gone, Nathan�s smile fades. He already feels physically exhausted from putting up a front, so he abandons the food he no longer wants and goes to lie down on the couch, pulling the blanket Lucas used to sleep over him. He thinks for a second he can smell Lucas and it makes him smile, his fingers running over the no-longer-soft material affectionately. After last nights surprise discovery of just how much he wanted Lucas to ask him the sordid question, Nathan has started questioning just how low he has sunk. Meaningless drunken sex is one thing, but falling for your brother is something else entirely. Even if Lucas does seem to return at least some of those feelings, Nathan is the one who�s forced it out into the open. He wonders if they�ll ever be able to forget that night. And then, much to his frustration, he wonders if he�ll ever get another chance like the one he just screwed up.

He closes his eyes and decides that somehow, this is all Haley�s fault. She damned them both.

*~*~*~*

Lucas can�t stay away for long. He wants to believe Nathan�s promise, but something about how easy it was to get Nathan to agree makes him suspicious. He hates sneaking around, but lately it seems necessary if he�s going to get any truth out of his messed up half-brother. Sure enough, by early evening, Nathan is drinking heavily and leaves his apartment with a can of beer in his hand. He heads into town, unknowingly followed by Lucas.

It isn�t the same bar. This one is much closer; the same one Lucas once met one-night-stand Nikki. It isn�t a great memory and it does make Lucas wonder if Nathan has similar intentions. Staying out of sight, Lucas keeps an eye on the younger boy, grateful that Nathan is paying no attention to anyone who so much as looks at him. He actually seems like he�s there solely to drink. And while this isn�t exactly model behaviour, it�s a definite step up.

Until, however, Nathan notices a group of rowdy college types. He turns to face their table and says something Lucas can�t quite hear. Their reaction is all Lucas needs to know to work out this isn�t good. A couple of the guys stand up and storm over to Nathan, fists ready to punch his lights out. And Nathan just stands there, looking oddly pleased with himself.

Lucas jumps up and quickly makes his way over just in time to hear Nathan say, �Go on. Do it! Give me your best shot, you fucking pussy.� He sneers at the guy twice his size, not afraid of the impending pain he is about to receive.

Lucas can only watch in horror as the guy thumps him hard enough to knock Nathan to the ground. He quickly gets in between them and looks up at the pissed off man. �I�m sorry, he�s drunk, he doesn�t know what he�s saying.�

�Get your friend out of here!� A woman behind the bar yells at Lucas, shaking her head in disgust.

Lucas nods sheepishly, trying to get Nathan to his feet. �What the hell did you do now?� Lucas hisses at him.

Nathan stumbles up to his feet while attempting to stop the blood pouring out of his nose. �Barely felt it.� He laughs, looking as if he�s about to pass out.

�I�m so fed up of saving your sorry ass.� Lucas mutters as he helps Nathan out the door and down the road.

Leaning on Lucas for support, Nathan leers at his brother. �Don�t worry, I�ll thank you properly when we get home.�

Lucas ignores the comment and grunts at the effort of getting Nathan to walk in a straight line.

�I kept my promise!� Nathan points out, pleased with himself. �I didn�t go back.�

�Yeah, you started a fight instead. That�s a real improvement.� Lucas replies, dryly.

�You�re always saving me.� Nathan sighs, leaning into Lucas� support, causing them both to veer to the left. �I love you, man.�

Lucas steadies them and raises his eyebrows at Nathan�s drunken admission. �Ooookay.�

�I�m serious.� Nathan assures him. �I just want you to know something��

�Maybe you should tell me tomorrow, when you�re sober.� Lucas interrupts, not liking where this could go.

�I wouldn�t have said no. I wanted to.� Nathan admits.

Lucas� throat suddenly goes very dry and that knot in his stomach is back, making its presence felt all over again. �We�ll talk about tomorrow, okay?�

Nathan nods, sniffing back blood. �My face hurts.�

�I�m shocked.� Lucas retorts, smiling as Nathan�s grip on his shoulders tightens affectionately.

*~*~*~*
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Saviour