*There were no lights on in his hotel room, but the windows were open and the moonlight offered all the light Alex needed, which right now was barely any. He stayed there, sitting on the edge of the bed; the white linen sheets felt smooth under his skin. Alex couldn’t see much past the haze of cigarette smoke hovering in front of his face. He lifted his Kretek cigarette, which had been hanging in his right hand for the past few seconds, to his lips again and inhaled through his mouth one more time, breathing the sweet smoke, feeling it spread in his lungs and come out through his expanded nostrils.
He didn’t have an ashtray, so he let the ashes fall upon the marble floor. He probably wasn’t even allowed to smoke inside his hotel room. Fuck it, keeping his bedroom clean was not his primary concern now. His most important worry was… Well, he actually didn’t know. Perhaps the fact Gretchen was officially missing and most likely dead? The fact that he and Whistler were in possession of a card that was more valuable than both of their lives? That they had to break into a building and didn’t have a clue about how they were going to do it? Or perhaps… Because there was a palpable chance of seeing Michael just a few hours away.
They hadn’t seen each other for weeks. Since his departure from Panama, when Lincoln had tried to get him killed, with no time to get over their last argument. No time to talk, no time to discuss… No time to convince Michael to do all the things he did so well in the dead of the night, in a hot Panamanian prison cell. Alex smiled weakly at the memory.
He didn’t know if Michael was going to show up at all. “I have info on Sara” was good bait. After Gretchen’s desperate strike, in which Whistler had been skilled enough to play along, Michael would probably be getting hold of all kinds of vain hopes. Well, Alex wasn’t lying. Informing Michael that Sara was in fact dead was some kind of info.
He finished smoking his cigarette and got up off the bed, walking toward the open windows. The gentle summer breeze welcomed him. He threw the cigarette’s remains out into the open. He cracked his knuckles and took off his black tee-shirt, tossing it over the bed. He unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper, getting out of trousers and underwear with one motion. His feet were bare and the floor felt cold on his way to the bathroom. He turned on the lights for the first time that night. The water when he got under the shower, on the other hand, was warm and he groaned lightly at the relaxation. He had a quick shower and brushed his teeth, washing away the cigarette taste that tainted his mouth.
Soon enough, Alex was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. Everyday, before he fell asleep, his thoughts wandered. A few years ago, when he lay down in bed with Pam, he thought about his day, about how they met, about Cameron. Sometimes he thought of work and at dark and rare times, he thought of his childhood.
But ever since the Fox River break-out, Alex thought of Michael Scofield before falling asleep.
*Alex obsessed over Michael from the moment he first saw his file.
He looked at Michael’s bright eyes and sat back on his reclining chair, in his office, late at night. Alex wondered about the man in the picture staring at him. The man who had made the whole escape possible, who was calm and steady enough to plan it all and actually make it happen.
The look in his eyes was challenging.
He usually saw convicts only when capturing them, but he wondered. If he was able to sense all the defiance in those eyes from a picture, he imagined what it would feel like to have this gaze upon him if they were standing in front of each other. He shivered lightly at the thought.
At first, it was only admiration.
He was fumbling through the pictures taken of Michael’s body at the tattoo parlor after he got all the ink done. Alex looked at the drawing for almost twenty minutes, following each line across his back, covering his entire chest, around his nipples… Trying to connect those tattoos to his profile. It didn’t seem to fit that a structural engineer would have such a taste in body art.
English, Fitz and Percy.The next day, when he figured out its meaning, Alex went to Michael’s apartment, and paced around for countless minutes. He could tell that the fellow agent there with him was getting bored beyond measure, but he didn’t care. He studied the place where Michael lived, attempting to find anything that could tell him what kind of man his prey was. Meticulous and acting according to an intricate method; a man with a style of his own. Alex walked around the loft, talking to himself, as if trying to mimic all of Michael’s steps, like reconstructing a crime scene. Like Alex wanted to embrace his mind and unravel each and every one of Michael’s hidden thoughts. Because then he’d no longer be a stranger to Alex. He’d be Michael, and they’d be intimate and Michael wouldn’t be able to conceal anything from Alex.
He found Michael amazing. Genius, marvelous, impressive and amazing.
For some time, when the manhunt Alex pulled off was just beginning, it was only him and Michael that mattered. Inwardly, by chasing him, Alex wanted to prove to Michael that he wasn’t alone, that someone actually understood the mechanics of his psyche. That they were the same and that the chasing was nothing but a game to Alex; an enticing game that Alex didn’t know if he wanted to or could win.
Unlike Alex’s previous chases, he and Michael did see each other before the prey was caught. But that wasn’t completely unexpected – Michael was not like anybody he’d ever known. The first time he got a chance to really look at Michael was at the courthouse. He had just understood the Otis Right riddle and felt proud of himself, because he’d been there for Michael no matter what the plan was.
Both Michael and Lincoln showed up in the elevator, but it had been Lincoln who did almost all the threatening – Michael was too busy staring at Alex, with a dazzled look on his face. He seemed cornered, scared and defiant. Michael didn’t look at all at his nephew; as a matter of fact, he never averted his eyes from Alex. Alex felt just as drawn to Michael as Michael was to him. Only he was confident, and for the briefest of moments he actually felt like smiling. And that day he also found out the fundamental difference between them: Michael was never going to be a killer.
It was only the first time they’d seen one another.
The second time, when they'd talked to each other, things were quite different. Alex’s favorite game was shattered. The Company had already made their first move in approaching him, demanding things, pushing him into a pursuit that left nothing but anguish, pain and dead bodies in Alex’s trail. When he answered that phone call in his office, everything was different.
He had been focusing for so many hours on finding out when and where Sara Tancredi and Michael’s rendezvous would be, that when his cell rang, he was startled. The ID caller read “Pam”, but somehow it seemed strange that Pam would call him that moment, even though she sometimes did when there was anything about Cameron she’d like to discuss. He flipped his cell phone open.
“Pam, I really can’t talk right now,” he said
“Maybe I should call back”, he heard Michael saying, that soft tone in his voice. A voice he had heard just once, but it was more than enough.
Alex looked around as if he expected to find the man he was talking to lurking in the corners around him.
“Who is this?” He asked, but he knew he really didn’t have to.
Apparently, so did Michael. “I think you already know.”
“If you’ve done anything to Pam… Or my boy…” He was alarmed and tense when he got up and closed the door, looking outside his office.
“We both know your family is fine,” Michael said, unashamed of Alex knowing he wasn’t the kind of person who killed or hurt. He didn’t seem surprised at how well Alex knew him.
And then Michael blackmailed him using Oscar Shales, but Alex didn’t care much about the threats, regardless of the fact he denied every single one of Michael’s accusations. The Company had already made the same threats, even though they lacked the subtleness and low tone of Michael’s voice. Alex had too many worries and Shales was no longer his biggest issue.
But he let Michael play along, listening to his words like they were being whispered in his ears. Michael knowing he murdered Shales was fairly unimpressive; what struck him was the fact Michael knew exactly the way Alex
felt about it.
“Take care of yourself,” he said with no signs of sarcasm in his voice.
If Alex hadn’t heard the rest of the conversation, he might actually think Michael meant it. He distantly thought of Gila circled on his map and shuddered to think that he’d probably see Michael again and, hopefully, or sadly, for the last time.
“I’ll see you soon, Michael,” he said, savoring the name in his mouth. “Oh, and Michael… It just may be sooner than you think.”
Two seconds later, Michael hung up.
*It was going to be a sleepless night, Alex knew. Sleeping had become an issue lately. He never actually got to know if the inmates realized it, but it was only for a few the nights he slept alone at Sona. Falling asleep now without a warm body to touch was awfully difficult. Noticing his troublesome lack of sleep, Whistler had offered him pills, but Alex politely refused. The occasional nicotine had to be the hardest drug in his life from now on.
He tried hard not to give into the thoughts of some special nights he spent in Sona, because there were other horrible memories which were just as worthy to remember. They were painful and every time he thought about them, his heart shrank with anguish inside his chest. But he could never allow himself to forget them, allow his mind to go numb and block the memories out.
There was a point where he almost hated Michael. The exact point when the Company decided that threatening Alex about Oscar Shales wasn’t enough, the point when Bill Kim mentioned his son, Pam, all that was sacred to him. At that point, he blamed Michael. Why couldn’t he just fucking die already and let him get on with what was left of his life?
Alex shifted uncomfortably in his bed when he thought of all the things he’d done so the Company wouldn’t hurt Cameron or Pam. He thought of killing Aldo Burrows, he thought of the way he threatened and inflicted pain on a helpless man laying on a hospital bed just to get information on Michael, of how he almost killed Lincoln and Michael in a car accident near the US border... And he thought of how all that only got his son’s legs broken in God knows how many places.
And then things got darker.
He killed Haywire after that. Oscar Shales was no more murdered than Haywire. As a matter of fact, what he did to Haywire was worse – inducing a mentally disabled man into suicide... Just like he did to Franklin, forcing the man into an attempt at killing himself. He hated himself for the kind of man he had become. And for too long all he did was blame Michael. Fascinating, annoying, too smart for his own good Michael.
Lying now on his stomach, clutching to his pillow, Alex was astonished to think about how long it took him to finally understand the obvious truth in front of his eyes. Michael wasn’t guilty, was never going to be. It was the Company, it had always been. And if it wasn’t for him and because of Michael, it’d be with millions of other people, who’d be as unfortunate as he was now. That’s why he forced himself to remember all the spiteful things he’d already done in his life, so he’d always remember it was the Company’s fault. Not Michael’s, not his. The Company’s fault. Only that way, bracing himself against the anger and pain in his heart, would he be brave enough to try to bring down the Company and risk his life like he was doing with Whistler.
The funny thing was that he realized that at the moment he was supposed to hate Michael the most… Right after Michael set him up, when he was spending his first night within the gates of Sona.
Only after burning that realization into his mind, did he allow himself to think of that prison in Panama. The gruesome memories and the mind-blowing pleasant ones…
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story
