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I'm There When It Matters	By : graballz Category: M through R > Rookie Blue Views: 2552 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of the characters. I am not affiliated in any way, and I make no money from this. I am just a diehard McSwarek fan who loves the hearbreaking angst.

Chapter List
- 1-I'm There When It Matters
- 1
Title: I’m There When It Matters
Author: Graballz
Summary: Set after the most recent episode of Rookie Blue, 2x03. After Andy sees Luke and Jo in Luke's hospital room, she drops the plant in the trash and rips her phone out.
***
                Andy McNally dropped the plant into the trash can, ripping her phone out of her pocket as she stomped out of the hospital. It took her three tries to punch the right buttons, but finally the call connected and rang.
                Sam Swarek was sitting with Oliver Shaw, laughing to the point of crying. They were on their fourth round or so after shift. They both needed a drink after that shift, and Sam guilted Oliver into buying him a beer to make up for the earlier “maybe you need to talk to McNally and tell her whatever” comment. They both knew what Oliver meant, but they also both knew Sam wouldn’t. They were in the middle of reminiscing about their mostly harmless childhood fire-starting pranks when Sam’s phone rang. He was still in the middle of grinning and laughing as he answered.
                “Where are you?”
                The rage in her voice was unmistakable, and Sam’s grin disappeared instantly.
                “I’m at the Penny with Oliver,” he replied, glancing at his friend in confusion. Oliver’s eyebrows raised, and he shrugged his shoulders, holding his arms out to the side in the classic “I don’t know what you’re talking about” pose. “Where are you? Are you alright?”
                “Yeah, I’m fine,” came the snapped reply. “I’m on my way there. Don’t leave.” The call disconnected abruptly, and Sam frowned at his phone. Oliver knew instantly that something was very wrong by the way Sam’s hand dropped to the bar, still gripping his phone, as he stared at a vague point in the distance, trying to figure out why Andy seemed so angry.
                “McNally?” Oliver guessed.
                “Yeah,” Sam nodded. “She’s on her way here.”
                “Good.”
                “She’s pissed.”
                “Not good,” Oliver took a swig of his draft. “What did you do?”
                “I don’t know,” Sam said. Oliver glanced at him skeptically, but Sam shrugged defensively, looking past Oliver at the front door. “What? I don’t. I’m about to find out, though.”
                Oliver turned in his chair just in time to see Andy stride past him, straight up to Sam. She was definitely angry. Her eyes were dark, her mouth turned down, and she was glaring at Sam like he had intentionally backed over Chris’ puppy.
                “Can I talk to you?” As upset as she was, Andy knew it wasn’t Sam’s fault, and she stopped herself just in time from lashing out at him unfairly. She couldn’t help the short tone, though.
                “Sure,” Sam eased off the barstool, reaching for his wallet to pay for his last round.
                “No, no, you go; I got it,” Oliver said, waving him away.
                “You sure?”
                “Yeah, I got it, go.”
                Sam slapped Oliver on the shoulder as he gestured for Andy to go ahead of him, and they walked out the front door. He followed her around to the side of the building where they would have a little bit more privacy than standing on the sidewalk.
                Having enough experience with angry women to know that the less said, the better, Sam tried to keep a neutral face and not flinch when she whipped around to face him, that accusing glare stabbing straight through his heart and pinning him to an invisible wall more effectively than if she’d done it physically.
                “Give him space was what you said,” she started off, and Sam’s heart constricted. It was about Luke. “That was your advice. Shows what you know. I went by the hospital tonight with a plant, and guess who was already there? She was popping the balloons and ripping up the tulips and eating his chocolates while they made fun of all of it! I could have done that! Is that what he wanted? Because all he would have had to do was tell me. I could’ve popped his stupid balloons and smashed all of the vases too. But I didn’t know. I didn’t know what to do. And you told me to give him space.”
                “So he’s the sky-writing type who doesn’t like tulips?” Sam popped off, knowing it would only infuriate her, and he pressed his lips together as she exploded again.
                “Shut up! Did you even listen to what I said? She’s there! With him! Right now! They’re talking and laughing…in the same room that this morning, he told me he couldn’t stand to be in. And do you know what else she said to me? She said that when she loves something, she keeps it close to her. She crushes it and never lets it go. I’m not stupid. I can read between the lines. He said it was over between them, but I saw her put her hand on his shoulder tonight. She still wants him. She still loves him. And I was trying to give him space.”
                By the end of her speech, a couple of tears had trickled their way down her cheeks. She was still glaring at him, but the fury was gone. All that was left was hurt and insecurity, but Sam knew she had a little bit of anger left too. He couldn’t help reaching up to her face and tenderly wiping one of the tear tracks away with his thumb.
                “You’re not stupid,” he affirmed. “Callaghan loves you. He wouldn’t have asked you to marry him if he didn’t.” Sam thought saying the words might choke him, but he managed to spit them out.
                Andy cut him off with a hollow laugh as she raised her left hand and glanced at the ring.
                “Yeah, he probably bought it for her,” she said sarcastically. “Maybe this whole thing is a mistake. She obviously knows what he needs, and I got him shot with his own gun.”
                “Whoa, Andy, that wasn’t your fault,” Sam grabbed her shoulders to prevent her from turning away from him as he tried to catch her eye. “Talk to me, McNally. Is that what you think?”
                “Yes, no…I don’t know! Yes. I’m the one who left the back gate open,” she spat. “That’s how Daniel got in.”
                “People leave gates open all the time,” Sam said. “Some people give other people space, and other people run into unstable buildings to try to find their husband. And rookie cops follow them in.”
                “Right, so not only am I a bad fiancée, I’m a bad cop too,” Andy paraphrased bitterly, narrowing her eyes as she tried halfheartedly to pull away. Sam wouldn’t let her go.
                “Are you kidding? You’re the best rookie the division’s got! You’re a great cop, and you have good instincts. I trained you myself, so I know you’ve got the best training there is, but you’re smart and you think well under pressure. You’ve proven that time and again. You were right about the fire, even in the face of Jo telling you that some girl confessed. She took it back, though. She didn’t start this one. You had a hunch, you followed it, and you arrested the right person, as hard as it was. You’re a good cop, Andy, and Callaghan’s the idiot for making you doubt that you’re a good fiancée for even a second.”
                His voice cracked on that last part, and he was the one who turned away.
                “You really are here when it matters, aren’t you?” Andy’s anger melted away the second Sam’s vulnerability showed through his guard. She put her hand on his arm gently, trying to turn him back to her. “You always have been.”
                “And I always will be,” he said. “You’re my rookie.”
                “You know what’s funny?” She half-smiled, squeezing his bicep a little. “Everyone warned me about you and about how you’re a player and a heartbreaker, but deep down, you’re a good man, Sam Swarek. You always know how to make me feel better.”
                Sam smiled, and they shared a moment of connected eye contact, reminiscent of the blackout when she showed up on his doorstep. He knew better than to try to kiss her because the way she was looking at him, she would. And this time, he wouldn’t stop. The lights wouldn’t come back on and bring reality crashing back down onto them. This time, they would make love, and it would be the most perfect, natural thing in the world. And then she’d hate herself in the morning for cheating on Callaghan, even though Sam knew it was only a matter of time before the detective slipped.
                As much as it broke his heart, Sam wouldn’t do that to her. He knew better, and so he swallowed hard, trying not to let the pain in his chest show on his face. He would be the one who walked away because while he had wrecked his fair share of homes in the past, he couldn’t do that to her. He didn’t want to be the ‘other guy’ or the rebound. Sam could be patient. Callaghan would bury himself.
                He ignored the unbearable ache, shoving it back down and locking it away. He would content himself with being her friend, her coworker, her training officer. He would tease her and skirt the line of flirting with her. He would be there to comfort her, yell at her when she did something risky, and make her laugh.
                “I told you,” he said softly, smiling genuinely and letting his eyes say what his lips wouldn’t. “I’m there when it matters.”
FIN
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I'm There When It Matters