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Spilled Blood Cries to Heaven	By : BlueHarlequin Category: Supernatural > Slash - Male/Male Views: 5135 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Nothing of Supernatural belongs to me. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement intended.

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Spilled Blood Cries to Heaven
Author: BlueHarlequin
Disclaimer: Nothing of Supernatural belongs to me. This is not for profit. No copyright infringement intended.
Warnings: underage sex, incest, assumes that pre-teens were still pretty innocent in the mid 90’s. May contain spoilers up to current season.
A/N: unbeta'd. Please be kind. Updates are always posted in my profile. Feel free to PM me with comments or leave a review, I love hearing from ya'll!
Dean x Sam
Summary: Dean angsts over taking Sam’s innocence, Sam doesn't.

Chapter 1 – A Kiss
When I look at Sammy I always feel a pang of guilt. Maybe this is one of the reasons I am so hard on him, or maybe it was because of my inability to forgive him. There was once a time where we shared everything with each other, time when there were no lies or deceitful actions. Sam used to get so frustrated when he wanted to do something and I told him “No, Dad said we can’t.” But I could never deny him anything. For every no, there was a yes to something else, a consolation, an accommodation. So when Sammy would get scared I would let him hug me tight in his sleep. I gave in to every pleading look and soft touch. Maybe that should have been a clue to his sinful nature. He is a temptation I gave into, a constant reminder of my lack of willpower.
The very first time I gave in it was a kiss. Dad and I had returned late from a hunt to find Sam asleep at the small table in the motel room. Dad left to get plastered in some bar and avoid the drama that usually happened when Sam woke up. I waited till the sound of the Impala’s engine had drifted off in the distance before I shook him gently. I took care to stay on the far side of his knife hand. On numerous occasions when he was frightened, Sam had unconsciously tried to gut me with his switchblade when I woke him up. He must have been tired because he simply lifted his head and looked at me angrily. Without a word he got up and walked over to the bed and began to put on his pyjamas.
“Sammy,” I began, stopping at the death glare I received. I was being intimidated by my little brother. That was so not happening. I tackled him on the bed and began tickling him furiously. At first he tried to keep it in and fight back but after a moment he started laughing and crying, “Dean! Stop it! That tickles!” When I was satisfied he wasn’t mad anymore I stopped. A few hiccups and a deep breath later he turned to me and kissed me full on the lips.
“Sam! What the hell?!” I pulled back totally alarmed.
“That’s what you do when you love someone.” He looked at me totally confused.
My mind struggled to catch up with his logic. “Okay, yea, that is sort of right, where did you learn that?”
“On TV, the girl was so happy the guy killed the monster she kissed him.”
My eyes rolled back into my head, daytime TV was going to be the death of me. Sam watched entirely too much of it and sometimes developed strange ideas of what constituted normal. “Silly, only girls are supposed to kiss boys that way.” And I stopped. Was I really going to have this discussion with my 12 year old brother? Never mind the birds and the bees; I thought about how difficult it was going to be to explain to my brother why guys don’t kiss other guys. Sammy always had far too many questions about everything. This was totally a discussion for dad. I could tell Sam was waiting for me to clarify. Dad probably wasn’t going to come home until morning and Sam would pester me all night if I didn’t give some sort of answer. “Sammy, you kiss your family on the cheek.”
“Oh, well, I’m really glad you came home okay.” He leaned forward and gave me a small peck on the cheek. I really shouldn’t have felt anything other relief but something made me watch the way Sam licked his lips. He murmured, “It’s not the same.” I wasn’t ready for the kiss that came next. Soft moist lips pressed against mine and I lost. I lost to Sammy’s sweet innocent lips. I pressed my tongue against his mouth and he opened up to me. His arms went around me as I pushed him down on the bed. We laid there kissing till he ran out of breath. My mind was screaming this was a thousand types of wrong.
“Dean?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
“I know baby brother, I know.” I closed my eyes and tried to smash down all the thoughts warring in my head. This was okay for now. I could deal with this.

I woke up early the next morning to find Sam curled around me. Rolling over I noted that our father was still not back. He must have found a chick to bang. Disentangling myself from Sam, who moaned softly at the lost warmth, I began packing up to leave. At least I could have everything ready before he came back. A smooth morning would lessen dad’s irritation at the inevitable barrage of questions. It occurred to me that I might have to prep Sam a little bit. After the kissing session last night we fell asleep. I realized if Sammy said anything about it, dad would skin me alive.
I pulled the covers off the bed causing Sam to still up abruptly. “Dean! What the hell!”
“Sam don’t cuss!”
“You do it!”
“I’m older; now get ready before dad comes back.” Sam’s face pulled back in annoyance. I had to phase my next question very delicately or I would be on the receiving end of Sam’s bitch mode. “Sammy, you know you can’t say anything to dad about us kissing, right?”
Sam frowned, and I prepared myself for argument. He took a deep breath. “Yes.”
“Yes!?” I was astonished at the lack of fight.
“Yes, because you said only girls kiss boys that way. So, obviously it’s not right for us to and Dad would be mad at us if we did something we weren’t supposed to.” He sighed heavily. “But I really like kissing you, so is it okay if Dad’s not around?”
I was a bit surprised and sort of disturbed over how easily Sam had come to his conclusion. Then again Sam was getting better at connecting the dots. On several occasions he had even steered conversations to the point where he got the answer he wanted. Damn if I wasn’t about to do it as well. “I think that would be okay.” My brain was repeating in an endless loop, “it’s not okay, it’s not okay, it’s not okay.”
I pushed Sam towards the bathroom and continued packing up our gear. Twenty minutes later, Sam stumbled out of the bathroom, his scruffy hair dripping all over. “Put your stuff away and pick up all the trash.” All the takeout containers from the last few nights were still sitting on the small table in the room. “I’m going to take a shower.” I really wanted to stand there and let the warm water wash away everything, but knowing dad would be back soon cut the luxury short. As I turned off the water I heard the door open and Dad walk in.

tbc
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Spilled Blood Cries to Heaven