The Magic of Love | By : kdarkbutterfly Category: M through R > Merlin (BBC) > Merlin (BBC) Views: 4254 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any characters on the show that is owned by the BBC and I do not make any money/profit on this |
Set after season 3 and ignores the rest; No Agravaine. This isn't beta'd so any mistakes are my own. This story switches between Arthur and Merlin. This story is almost completed as I am writing the last scene and epilogue as I post this.
**Arthur**Arthur, sitting on the hard ground in the forest, stares at the flames though isn’t really paying attention to it. He knows that his presence on this quest to destroy the harpy that is terrorizing his kingdom has been met with arguments from pretty much everybody, including Merlin, but he is acting king and his word is now law with only his father to command his obedience. However, that might never happen as Uther lays in his bed, weeping for the loss of Morgana and for her betrayal to the kingdom. Arthur was tired of being thrusted with decisions that his father should be making and he needed to get out of the city. Which is precisely why he is now in the forest, a day’s ride from Camelot, with a handful of his most trusted knights and of course Merlin.
A log in the fire pops with a spark and Arthur looks up to see Merlin blushing while laughing at something Gwaine had said. Merlin has always been a constant in Arthur’s life these past years as somebody he could count on never changing. With Morgana’s transformation into an evil sorceress and his father now as a broken man, Arthur relies on Merlin being the same bumbling idiot manservant who doesn’t treat people according to their station, but to who they really are. He enjoys the rare private moments when Merlin is free to speak his mind as sometimes he can be pretty insightful, though the amount of disrespect given to his due as a royal person is more frequent than the pearls of wisdom.
“Sire?” Merlin looks right at him, seeming to know that he’s on Arthur’s mind. Arthur swears Merlin’s bright blue eyes pierces down to his very soul, knowing the most intimate part of himself, which makes Arthur shiver with some unknown emotion.
“Don’t you have some duties to attend to?” Arthur asks with some bite to his words as he hates uncertainty within himself, but can’t seem to bring his emotions into order when it comes to Merlin.
Merlin, for all he’s worth, looks like he’s thinking about the question, putting Arthur more on edge.
“No, I don’t think so,” Merlin finally answers with a smirk, “Horses are already fed and given water, dishes are washed, and there’s enough firewood for the night.”
“I swear, if you were this efficient taking care of your duties in my chambers, you’d make a decent manservant,” Arthur grumbles loud enough for Merlin to hear him, provoking him into say something back.
“You’re more demanding in your chambers than out in the open,” Merlin retorts back with good-nature.
“It’s my royal right to make demands of my manservant,” Arthur replies with an air of royalty, but is quickly struck down as Gwaine starts chuckling.
“What?” Arthur glares at the knight.
“Nothing, princess,” Gwaine tries to wave Arthur off, but is still grinning like a madman, “It’s just, ah, interesting to hear you two bicker.”
Arthur stares at Gwaine, wondering what he’s trying to insinuate, but gives up as he figures that Gwaine is trying to get another rise out of him.
“We should turn in for the night,” Arthur announces, knowing this will get everyone to think of why they’re out in the forest this night. The others take instant action as they obey the unspoken command, while Merlin gives him a lopsided grin, making Arthur wonder what is going on in that thick skull of his.
Finally, after some flurry of activity, everyone is settled in their bedrolls around the fire with Lancelot taking the first watch. Somehow Merlin managed to snag a spot near the fire, though Arthur suspects Gwaine and Percival had something to do with it. The knights all have a soft spot for Merlin or at least some kind of respect as despite the adversity they’ve all face, Merlin always insists on coming along in which Arthur points out that it just shows how much of an idiot Merlin really is. He isn’t sure why he puts up with Merlin risking his life and quite possibly endangering the group as he’s the weakest member.
With Merlin as his last thought, Arthur fell asleep with strange pleasant dreams.
A scream wakes Arthur up and for one brief hallucination, he thought it was Merlin’s, but it was too high-pitched with a piercing screech. However, battle instincts takes over and Arthur is on high alert as he rolls to his feet with his sword in hand. His knights are also on alert, while out of the corner of his eye, he sees Merlin flail as he disentangles himself from his bedroll. Arthur can’t spare his manservant another thought as the creature, who’s screams have woken the group, bursts through the canopy of the trees.
Arthur heard the rumors of the creature’s appearance, but seeing it heading towards them makes him recoil in disgust. The creature, half-bird and half-woman, would have been thought to be pleasant as the descriptions were of naked breasts and head of a woman with a body and wings of a bird. But this travesty of sight is far from it. The womanly features were caked with filth from eating rotting flesh without a care to bathe afterwards and the bird features were that of a vulture, black feathers and sharp claws.
He raises his sword and surges towards the harpy, aiming to strike right at the heart, the only spot that will kill it. The harpy pumps her wings so she can swing her poisonous claws out at him. As uncomfortable as it was to sleep with chainmail on, he is now thankful they did as the harpy’s claws managed to snag his shoulder, but unable to pierce through. Instead, the harpy manages to spin Arthur with a strong gust, leaving a bruise. He takes the momentum to swing his sword, hoping to do some damage, but to no avail. Despite its looks, the bird half of the harpy is invincible as his sword only bounces off the feathered body.
Gwaine rushes up with his sword drawn to take Arthur’s place while Lancelot and Percival comes to the sides as a distraction for the creature. Arthur straightens himself out and arcs his sword to take another hit at the harpy.
Just as the four knights strike, the harpy lets out an ear-piercing shriek that flings them away from her body. Arthur sails in the air trying to keep a grip on his sword before he lands hard against a tree. He is knocked out for a few precious seconds and when he opens his eyes next, the harpy was a mere few feet from him, but is distracted. He turns his head to see what the harpy is looking at and gasps in horror.
Merlin, the idiot, is waving his arms around, making a target out of himself as he almost trips on his own feet.
“Here, you ugly beast,” Merlin taunts the creature, “That’s it, come to me. I’m far more tasty than him, he’s all fat and empty calories.”
The harpy scowls as she takes a couple of steps towards Merlin, which makes Arthur panic.
“You idiot,” Arthur yells at Merlin, angry over the fact that Merlin is trying to get himself killed. The harpy swings her body back at Arthur and he tightens his grip on his sword before bringing it up to stab her right in the chest. The harpy screeches, though this time it sounds wet and Arthur feels a victorious triumph as he watches the harpy shudder as she falls to the side with his sword sticking out right where her heart is.
Arthur grunts as he stands up to survey the damage. The three knights are all still on the ground, though it looks like Lancelot is sitting up and blinking away the spots in his eyes. The other two look like their breathing, which releases a sigh of relief from Arthur’s lips until his eyes sweep up to Merlin.
“Merlin,” Arthur growls, his anger resurfaces again as he stomps towards the boy, “You are the most idiotic person I have ever met. Do you have a death wish or do you just enjoy putting yourself in harm’s way?”
“I saved your life,” Merlin counters as he squares his shoulders, looking Arthur straight in his eyes, “Most people just say thank you, but do I ever get that from you? No, it must be too humbling for you to thank a mere servant.”
“You’re not just a mere servant,” Arthur retorts as he is now a foot away, “You’re my manservant who thinks that insulting his master is the best way to attack a magical creature without any thought of defending yourself.”
Arthur is angry that Merlin foolishly risked his life without thinking to protect himself. He hears a giggle coming from Gwaine, but he doesn’t have the patience to even think about Gwaine’s reason for that.
Merlin opens his mouth to argue, but nothing comes out as a screech is heard from right above them. Arthur looks up to see a second harpy, nobody mentioned there were two, making a dive bomb towards them. Before Arthur could react, Merlin moves faster than he’s ever seen, reaching up with a hand and with a harsh but stirringly exotic word, an arrow of light shoots from Merlin’s hand. Arthur watches with a slow motion the light arrow piercing through the harpy with a precise aim to the heart. He then hears another unknown word as Merlin’s other hand makes a sweeping motion and the harpy’s body is flung to the side rather than falling on top of them.
Arthur removes his eyes from the harpy to look right in Merlin’s eyes, seeing the tell-tale sign of sorcery before the familiar blue eyes replace the golden shine. But it didn’t matter because Arthur now knew the truth and Merlin’s eyes look scared, hesitant…. Fearful. It was because of that fear that makes something in Arthur snap.
“Magic,” Arthur twists his mouth with hate for the word. His hate for what it has done to his father, hate for his father’s war against it, hate for it twisting Morgana against Camelot, and hate for it residing in Merlin. In his servant who is supposed to always be the same in this changing world.
“A-Arthur, please. I didn’t… I mean, I’m still… I-I,” Merlin stutters, cringing now against Arthur’s glare. Arthur knows the others are awake as he can feel the knight’s eyes on them, waiting to see what Arthur will do. Their expectations weigh heavily on top of everything else that Arthur has kept piling on with his father’s expectations for a dutiful son, Camelot’s expectations of a just king, everyone looking to him for answers. It was too much for Arthur to bear it anymore.
“Get out of my sight, sorcerer,” Arthur commands Merlin with such force and conviction that for a second, Arthur feels every inch of his father standing in his place.
Merlin stares at him with unshed tears as the order seems to reach through in his brain. He bobs his head, most likely an unconscious gesture before he turns and runs as far as he can from Arthur.
Arthur watches him as he trips and stumbles before straightening himself and is suddenly out of sight. With Merlin gone, so is his anger and Arthur slumps down to the ground, far more exhausted than if he fought a hundred men. In that instant, he was shattered with regret.
“What the Hell were you thinking?” Gwaine swears at Arthur, which breaks the other knights into action. Arthur hears more than sees Lancelot try to go after Merlin, but somehow he knew the knight wouldn’t be able to catch up with Merlin.
“I…” Arthur is lost for words as he looks at the dead harpy, killed with Merlin’s magic. He then whispers, praying that Merlin could hear him, “I’m sorry.”
“Seriously, Princess,” Gwaine spats the nickname for Arthur, “You fucked up this time. You’ve pushed away the only person who would ever put up with your royal ass on a daily basis without murdering you.”
“He has magic,” Arthur protests, but instantly knew it was weak.
“Who cares?” Percival now joins in the berating as Gwaine is swearing himself blue while trying not to kill his prince, “Merlin has proven his loyalty to you over and over again. He’s has plenty of times to have killed you, even without magic, but he hasn’t. I bet he’s saved your ass several times without any of us knowing.”
“Merlin is the most bravest man of us all,” Gwaine finally stops swearing to impart a sudden epiphany, “He lives in fear for his life and for those around him every day because of the magic ban. One slip is an instant death sentence in which many people would swear off magic, but not Merlin. He uses for the greater good knowing that if he was ever caught, he would die.”
Arthur looks up at the surly knight and realizes he’s right. There is a twinge of betrayal that Merlin didn’t confide in him about his magic, but the logical side of him points out that keeping the secret is a means of self-preservation. He hears Lancelot coming back and he turns to look at him.
“I can’t find him,” Lancelot looks grim, “It’s like he’s disappeared.”
Arthur guesses he used magic to get further away and he almost laughs as now Merlin obeys his order instead of arguing. He wishes Merlin stubbornly stayed, but Arthur remembers the frustration and anger that was coursing through him when he yelled at Merlin.
“His secret is safe with us,” Percival hesitates, trying to gauge Arthur’s thoughts with that declaration, “We won’t betray him.”
The unspoken question hangs heavy in the air, would Arthur keep Merlin’s secret as well?
“I want him safe,” Arthur finally says softly, “I won’t betray him either.”
With that, they broke down the camp and disposed of the dead harpies, though everyone was lingering with hope that Merlin might come back. Finally, when they couldn’t delay it any more, the knights and Arthur load up the horses. The ride back into Camelot was silent with the exception of deadly glares aimed for their prince. Arthur knew they are justified in wishing him death, but that would’ve been too kind. He has driven away the most important person in his life and this slow death of regret is his punishment.
It didn’t matter that Merlin had magic, in the back of his mind, now thinking about it, he suspected but never brought those thoughts into light. Arthur did know how unjust the magic ban was on those that did magic for the greater good rather for evil. He had watched innocent people burn in his father’s crusade against magic and it left a sour taste in Arthur’s mouth since he was ten. But he was powerless against his father in this matter and will be until Uther is dead.
It was dusk when they cantered into Camelot and as Arthur looks up at the castle, his heart grew even heavier as he’s going to have to tell Gaius and Gwen what happened, albeit edited to preserve Merlin’s secret. But it also felt heavy as he knows he’ll have to walk through the halls without his most trusted manservant.
After getting the horses taken care of, Arthur makes the slow walk to Gaius’ quarters with Merlin’s things. He stands in front of the door, remembering the times he’s strode right in looking for Merlin. He takes a deep breath and opens the door.
“Merlin,” Gaius starts to say something before turning to see that it’s not Merlin there, “Oh, sorry, Sire?”
Arthur looks around the cluttered room with books and herbs everywhere before looking back at Gaius’ questioning concerned look.
“Gaius,” Arthur starts, feeling a lump in his throat and an unexplainable emotion rising within himself, far more than shame for his actions, “I did something unforgivable.”
“Merlin?” Gaius asks softly, fearing the worse.
“He’s alive, I think,” Arthur rushes on to put the old man out of his misery, “But I acted out of anger and he took the brunt of my frustrations as I yelled for him to get out of my sight.”
Sorcerer, rang out in his mind as the last thing he said to Merlin.
“Sire, I’m sure he will come back after cooling down,” Gaius tries to reassure Arthur, “He understands how much pressure you are in and knows you don’t mean it.”
“No, there’s something else,” Arthur hesitates, wanting to keep Merlin’s secret, but knows that Gaius spent the most time other than Arthur with Merlin. He might’ve known.
“Sire,” Gaius levels an eye at Arthur, “Did he… do something unusual?”
Yes, Arthur is now certain that Gaius knows and if not, he hopes Merlin will forgive him for telling as he trusts Gaius to keep silent over this.
“There were two harpies,” Arthur explains as Gaius looks surprised as they both know the reports only mentioned one harpy, “I killed the first one and thought it was over, but the second harpy surprised all of us. It was right above us, but it was Merlin who reacted first, like on instinct. He used magic to kill it, saving my life.”
Arthur watches the energy run out of Gaius as he sits down on the bench, looking far older than ever before.
“What will you do now?” Gaius asks with great caution and Arthur understands the reasoning behind it.
“Send out patrols, knights I can trust to look for him and tell him I’m sorry,” Arthur answers, knowing that it’ll be the first step. If he can get Merlin to come back so he can apologize in person, Arthur vows to make it up to his Merlin for the rest of his life, “I’m not going to kill him nor give away his secret. He deserves much better and I’m going to do everything in my power to see things right.”
“That is all good, but what about until then?” Gaius asks, “What will you do to give Merlin assurance that he’ll be protected? What of the knights who were there, are they willing to protect his secret as well?”
“Gwaine, Percival, and Lancelot pretty much reamed me over hot coals for lashing out at Merlin, even after what Merlin did. They’ll take his secret with them to their graves and when Merlin comes back, they’ll help on protecting him,” Arthur answered the easiest question first before trying to put his feelings into words that’ll let Gaius know the lengths he’ll go for Merlin, “And if it comes down to it, I’m willing to die for him, if Merlin is convicted of sorcery, then I’ll burn alongside with him.”
“I don’t think that’ll be reassuring for Merlin,” Gaius points out, “Merlin doesn’t want to you to die. For now, I think seeking him out to make sure he is safe and to let him know he is still welcomed here is a good start.”
“You’re right, Gaius,” Arthur knows he’s not making any good decisions today, “I’m not thinking properly, maybe after some sleep, I can find a way to guarantee Merlin’s safety here.”
“You do that,” Gaius gives him a small nod, “A rash action is what got you in this mess, but it won’t help you get out of it.”
“Thank you,” Arthur is very grateful that he still has Gaius to help him, “If it’ll be alright with you, I’ll come by tomorrow. I want to know more about Merlin and his… magic.”
“I’ll be glad to talk to you about how many times he’s saved your life,” Gaius replies, twisting the knife in Arthur’s heart on how much he screwed up, but he deserves it.
He nods his head before leaving the physician’s room and takes the lonely steps to his room. He knows that his duties meant he should be heading to his father’s room to report, but he doesn’t have the energy to put on a brave face nor to reign in his tongue about the magic ban. He’ll need a clear head before discussing anything with his grieving father.
He bumps into Gwen as she is walking down the hall with a basket of laundry.
“Hello, sire,” Gwen bobs her head to him in deference of his royal status. He likes Gwen, but something always stops him from taking it further. He wants to marry for love, but he’s not sure if he’s really in love with her.
“Hello Gwen,” He gives her a perfunctory smile, “If you’re not busy, can you get my dinner?”
“Sure, did something happen to Merlin?” Gwen asks, knowing that as a regular servant she wouldn’t have been able to ask such a question, but since Arthur considers her at the very least a friend, she has the right to ask. He quickly pulls her into an empty room, not wanting to be overheard.
“Ah, yes,” Arthur cringes slightly, a behavior unbecoming of a king, but his feelings on the whole ‘Merlin has magic and is gone’ situation has Arthur tied up in knots. He knew Gwen deserves the truth, well edited, as his knights made it clear that they’re not going to let Arthur get away with his outburst, “I may have said some things in anger and drove him away.”
“May have?” Gwen’s eyes get huge in shock at first before narrowing them in anger, “They had to be some pretty unforgivable, vile words coming from you for him to have run off in the middle of a forest.”
“I know,” Arthur whines, “And I didn’t mean to say them, but I was so frustrated with everything that’s been going on that I accidently lashed out on him.”
“It doesn’t matter, you’re the king and you should know better than to take it out on Merlin,” Gwen lets him have it and he knows she speaks the truth, “but what’s worse is that he is your friend and he loves you, completely devoted to you no matter what.”
“I’m sorry,” Arthur says the only thing he can at the moment as the words ‘he loves you’ resonates in his mind.
“It’s not me that you should be apologizing to,” Gwen says heatedly, “What are you going to do to get him back?”
“I’m going to dispatch some knights to go looking for him in the morning,” Arthur states, already planning on sending Gawain up to Ealdor to see if Merlin went to his mother’s.
“That’s a start,” Gwen nods her head in approval, “What else?”
“I’m not sure yet,” Arthur confesses, “I know I’ll have to do something drastic to get him to realize how sorry I am, but I just can’t find the right idea.”
“At least you know this is too serious for you to just do the usual flippant apology,” Gwen huffs, “You’ll have to do a lot of groveling.”
“I’m a king, we don’t grovel,” Arthur instantly bristles at the thought of groveling to anyone.
“I think in this case, you’ll have to learn,” Gwen replies, “You’ll have to let go of your pride as I’m sure it was what got you in this situation.”
Arthur realizes Gwen is right. He let his pride get in the way of being a good king. He wanted to prove to his father and to the kingdom that he can do it all.
“I’ll do it for Merlin,” Arthur says softly, knowing that it’s true. He won’t grovel to his father, but he’ll grovel to get Merlin back.
“Good,” Gwen finally smiles at him, “Now then I’ll see about getting your dinner and a temporary servant to take care of Merlin’s duties until he returns.”
“Thank you,” Arthur is grateful to have her as a friend. He still is thinking about adding her to his royal advisors as some of the things she says makes sense, but that’ll be another matter he’ll have to work on when he is truly king. Gwen leaves to take care of the basket and getting his dinner as he heads for his room.
Inside, the loss of Merlin seems more pronounced as he sees spots where Merlin was supposed to finish cleaning, his laundry hadn’t been taken down to get washed, and his second best armor hasn’t been polished. He sits at his desk, staring at nothing as he tries to clear his head.
He’s not sure how long he sat there, thinking, but a knock on the door interrupts his thoughts.
“Come in.”
A male servant walks in with a tray of food.
“Sire, I am Harold, your new manservant,” The man introduces himself with a precise bow before placing the food on the table. Arthur just nods his head as he gets up and moves to the dining table. He feels a little resentful of Harold since he’s usurping Merlin’s job, but he knows it’s ridiculous as he knows the fault lies within himself.
He picks up a piece of chicken and bites into it, almost spitting it back out as its cold.
“Everything to your liking, sire?” Harold asks politely as he pours Arthur his wine.
“It’s exactly what I deserve,” Arthur replies, knowing that Gwen must’ve told the kitchen staff about what he did to Merlin. He’s not going to have the food sent back because the golden rule of the castle is to never piss off the kitchen staff and clearly they were quite fond of Merlin.
After finishing his subpar dinner, he had Harold draw up a bath for him in which seems to take longer and isn’t as hot as Merlin would have done it. Arthur can’t bear to have Harold help him undress, so he does it himself before Harold could make a move towards him. The same thing for getting dressed as he just takes the night clothes from Harold and gets into them by himself, luckily Harold seems to catch on as this time he doesn’t make a move to help.
Once Arthur is in bed with Harold gone, promising to wake him in the morning, his thoughts go back to what Gwen said. He loves you. Those three words tugs at his heart and he can feel a couple of tears slide down his cheeks as unnamed emotions turmoil within himself.
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