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Never Before, Never Again	By : MichelleK Category: S through Z > West Wing Views: 2581 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The West Wing, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Never Before, Never Again
- 1
Title: Never Before, Never Again (1/1)

Author: Michelle K. (CageyGrl@yahoo.com)

Rating: NC-17

Site: http://glimmershine.tripod.com/

Archive: Yes to Mojo and Jori. Anyone else, ask.

Pairing/Genre: Leo/Donna. [implied] Leo/Jenny. Angst.

Summary: "He's never really fallen into bed with someone."
Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABS, NBC, WB, etc. Making no money, don't sue. It would be fruitless.
Notes: Response to the October challenge on the 'State of the Union' list (two 'WW' characters doing it, one or both of them thinking of someone else). This has nothing to do with the 'Where We Go From Here' series (and before someone smacks me, the next part of that series is being worked on. Really.) - although I do consider it an angsty alternate to 'Unexpected.' So...yeah.
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He's never really fallen into bed with someone. Never taken someone home just for the hell of it, never slept with someone without having a real reason.
He'd only slept with Jenny after they were married, and there was no one before that. And there was no one after, although she had suspected differently at times. But he was a drunk, not a cheat - even if she didn't always believe that.
And even after Jenny left him, he didn't. Because he didn't have the time or interest to pursue someone, even for something strictly sexual.
So he's not quite sure how he ended up here with Donna, running his fingers over the skin of her stomach.
These things just happen, he supposes. These things happen when people are lonely and needy. These things just happen and can't be stopped, even though most of him is saying what a bad idea this is.
These things just happen, and somehow he ended up taking her back to his place. Somehow, she ended up in his living room, her back pressed up against a wall. And he ended up leaning towards her, brushing his lips against the soft skin of her cheek.
He's not sure how it began, who kissed whom first. It seemed like a mutual clash of lips to him, but he may already be remembering it wrong. It's going a little too fast for him to keep a good catalog of events. He's not even sure when her shirt got discarded, if it was the same time he threw his own to the ground.
So, he goes a slower, lets his hand travel languidly to cup her breast through her bra. He caresses her softly, feels her nipple harden under his touch, listens to the soft moan that escapes her from her mouth.
And he tries, desperately, not to compare everything about this to Jenny.
Her lips brush across his jawline as her hands grip his back. She draws him closer to her, and he can't deny that it feels good to have their bodies so close together.
"We shouldn't do this," he says, because they shouldn't really.
She's way too young for him. And he's way too screwed up to have something lasting with her.
This could get awkward later. Hell, it could get awkward really soon.
Those are just the top reasons on a long list that he's reciting in his head.
And she knows the reasons, too. She's not dumb or naïve. She knows that sleeping with her boss's boss has the potential to look sleazy, to color them both in a dark way.
But she also knows it's been awhile since she's kissed a man and not felt hollow. It's been awhile since she's kissed a man as something other than a punctuation to an evening.
She knows everything, so she says, "You're probably right." And then she kisses him, urging his lips to part with her own. It's when he responds that she knows that this is really going to happen.
When they come up for air, he says, "I know I am." He feels the urge to kiss her, so he does.
She begins to tug his undershirt out of his pants, and he pulls back a little to let her remove it. Donna lets her fingers run over the newly bare skin, lets her eyes linger on the weathered skin of his chest. She wants him, to touch him and feel him. But, most of all, she wants to figure out what's shifted between them to make her feel this way.
Leo looks at her as she studies him, trying to figure out what's running through her head. And he's suddenly aware of his age, and how every part of his body shows it.
And then their eyes meet. She sees this self-consciousness that she finds unwarranted. Which makes her, for some reason, want him more.
He sees this desire in her eyes that excites him. Which makes him, for a fleeting moment, forget about everything else.
He takes her hand in his and leads her to the bedroom. He can't turn back now, even if the possibility of stopping was vague at best. He wants to prove to himself that he can do this with someone besides her - that he's over her, that what he feels for her isn't something that will live inside him forever. She's moved on, or so he's heard.
She's moved on, so he can sleep with another woman without feeling guilty.
And yet, somehow, he still does.
Donna's running her hands against his sides, kissing his neck and his mind's back on her. It feels right, and maybe it would feel even better if he wasn't still partly in love with Jenny. Or maybe it wouldn't have happened at all.
"It's been awhile," he says suddenly, and he's not sure why he says it.
"It's been awhile for me too," she replies.
"It's not the same," he says. She hasn't spent decades of her life with one person, falling into a pattern. She isn't fifty-six years old, and she could please a man just by showing up.
"Don't worry about it," she says as she touches his face gently. She pulls him towards her and kisses him.
His mouth is still barely inches away from hers when he says, "I don't have any protection." He didn't even think about it until now, and he's never really had a pressing need to buy condoms.
"I'm on the pill," she says in response. "And I...I don't have any diseases or anything," she says haltingly.
"Neither do I," he says, and she sees no reason to think he's lying. "So...this is okay?" he asks, and she just nods.
His mouth is moving against her neck as he unhooks her bra, and his lips travel further down when the garment falls to the ground. He hasn't been with a lot of women, but he knows that not every woman enjoys the same things. So he listens to her reactions as his tongue caresses her breasts, trying to find out what she likes.
He won't need this information again, because this is probably a one-time thing. But, still, he wants this to be good for her. He doesn't want this to be bad on yet another level, and he doesn't want her to feel like he's using her.
Although, maybe he is using her.
"Leo," she says, turning his name into a moan as he tugs on her nipple.
When he looks at her again, her face is flushed. Wordlessly, she turns her hip towards him, waiting for him to unzip her skirt.
He does, and he quickly removes the rest of her apparel with it. She's naked before him, and he tells her she's beautiful. Because she is, and she should have people tell her that.
"Thanks," she says as she chews on her lip. It seems like it's been so long since someone's seen her like this; even longer since someone gave her a compliment without it coming out as a weak apology.
Although, in a way, he does want to apologize. But she doesn't notice.
She kisses him as she unbuckles his belt and slides down his zipper. His hips jerk towards her hand as she strokes his hardness through his boxers. She pushes them down, and he kicks them aside.
Her mouth makes a lazy trail against his abdomen, tasting the faint saltiness of his skin. She continues until she's on her knees in front of him.
And when he feels her breath fall against his erection, he flinches internally. This feels too intimate for her to do for him - like something she should do for a guy she's in love with. And he can't imagine her being in love with him.
"Don't," he says, and she looks up at him, confusion on her face. "You don't have to do that. Just...just come here." He helps her to her feet, and she stares at him for a moment.
"I know I didn't have to," she says, and she's not entirely telling the truth. "Should...I mean, shouldn't we take this to the bed?" she says with a smile.
"Yeah," he says, and there's a faint grin on his face as well.
Donna moves slides slowly onto the bed, and he is just as slow at following. He wonders if this is really going as leisurely as he thinks, or if his mind is slowing it down, giving him more opportunities to stop what is happening.
But, even if it is, he doesn't stop. He's only still for a moment after he positions himself between her legs, and he listens to the shallowness of her breathing. He rests a hand a little bit to the side of her head, as the other hand moves in-between her legs. He rubs her sex lightly, feeling her wetness against his fingers. He finds her clitoris, and brushes his thumb against it tenderly.
She inhales sharply as he moves around it in small circles, and she starts to feel her body tense up as his movements become faster. "Stop," she says, her hand clutching his arm. "I want to feel you," she adds. It sounds strange coming out of her mouth, but it's true. There's something inside her that aches for him. Or maybe just *someone* - and he happens to be the someone who's there for her.
His hand moves to her hip, pressing her against the mattress and holding her steady. He enters her gradually, her warmth enveloping him little by little. When he's all the way in, her muscles clench around him just enough to make him groan.
He kisses her again before pulling back and thrusting back inside her, filling her with one quick stroke. She gasps in this incredible, throaty way that he hasn't heard in a long time. He remembers the last time he heard it, then stares in Donna's face and tries to forget the memory.
"Leo?" she says, reminding him that time doesn't stand still.
- 1
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Never Before, Never Again