Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Cupid's Little Helper	By : Scribe Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 3620 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
ATTENTION: i ACCIDENTALLY LEFT OUT A PREVIOUS CHAPTER. CHAPTER FIVE SHOULD HAVE BEEN 'Babysittin'. SORRY FOR THE MIX UP.
Cupid's Little Helper
Chapter Ten
Recognizin Love

I stared at him. "Wha?"

"You heard me."

"I heard somethin, but I figured I must be havin
hallucinations."

"Smart ass."

"Present."

"This is where you're supposed to say 'I love you,
too'." I stared at Cupe. He sighed. "You can't say
it, can you?"

"Cupe..."

"It's all right, I understand." He leaned down an'
kissed me, his mouth movin on mine so soft an' slow.

No, I couldn't say it. I mean, it was true. Ya knew
that, right? I thought I had it hid pretty good, but
I guess there wasn't any way I coulda kept it from
Cupe. Kinda dumb ta think I could, huh?

It was impossible, of course. I mean, ya love
someone, ya don't hurt 'em, so there was no way I
could let this thing go anywhere. So I pulled away
from that nice, warm mouth an' said, "Well, that's...
that's nice of ya, Cupe." I slapped his chest. "Yah,
nice ta know, buddy. So, it's about time we got back
ta this hookin' up business, right?"

"You're going to say it to me, sooner or later."

I climbed outta his lap an' stood up. "Are we goin
straight ta Anieli an' Damara, or do I hafta practise
some more?"

He stood up. "You can't dodge this forever, Strife."

"I'm pretty fast on my feet when I hafta be."

We started walkin toward tha house ta say good-bye.
"You're stubborn."

"A little."

"Calling you a little stubborn is like saying that
flood was a light shower."

"Hey, I said I was sorry about that. So I
misestimated a little."

"Dad was bored stiff till there were enough people for
him to operate, and he drove Aunt Eileithyia and Hera
crazy, nagging them to get the world repopulated."

"I kept busy. Ya have no idea how much opportunity
there is for mischief in a closed environment like
that boat, especially with all tha animals. Why, tha
manure gags alone..."

He had a little work ta catch up on, so for tha first
part of tha day I just followed him around while he
zapped people. Well, I didn't just follow him around--I kept my hand in. Turn ovah a milk pail here, blow
out a fire there. Thing was that mosta tha folks
around my little disasters were fallin in love 'cause
of Cupe, so they scarcely noticed. Usually that
pisses me off, but I didn't mind.

Early that evening we ended up at a tavern that was
fulla mercenaries, wenches, minstrels, an' bards.
If ya have evah been around a combination like that
ya know what a riot it can be. Heck, it wouldn't take
a lot ta turn it inta a real riot, but I was behavin
myself. Yah, I know. Strange concept, huh? Anyways,
I just kinda enjoyed tha atmosphere. I only tripped
one servin wench, an' I made sure she drenched a bard
with tha ale instead of a barbarian. That got a good
laugh instead of an explosion.

Cupe shook his head. He didn't get a laugh outta it
like Mom or Unc would, but he didn't scold me ovah it
eithah. Finally I said, "Okay, what are we doin here,
Cupe?"

"What do you think?"

I frowned. "Well, I s'pose we're here ta get a couple
tagethah."

"Yes. Now, which couple?"

I goggled at him. "How tha fuck am I s'posed ta
know?"

"There are signs and symptoms. Look around."

"Aw, geez. Gimme a hint."

"All right. One's a man and the other's a woman."

"Oh, big help." I sighed and started studyin
everyone. Signs an' symptoms he said. Well, there
was a lotta gropin, leerin, and a good bit of droolin
goin on, but ya could see that in every tavern in
Greece, so it had ta be somethin else.

Tha bards an' minstrels were all takin turns
performin, an' I was kinda half listenin. They knew
their audience, and it was all war songs, an' I'd
heard enough of them ta last me several millinea, what
with workin with Ares. So, when tha ballad started,
it kinda caught my attention.

Tha singah was almost skinny, an' nearly as pale as
me, but not as good lookin. It was a pretty
song, though, an' he had a nice voice.

"Where, oh where does love dwell?

That's a secret none can tell.

That's a mystery man may not know,

a puzzle that lays the wisest low.

But ask me, friend, for I can tell.

Yes, I know where love doth dwell.

My answer you must not despise:

Love lives in a pair of soft blue eyes.

Love lives in a voice so sweet and warm,

It's contained in a mortal woman's form,

with hair of gold and skin of cream,

A living, breathing, minstrel's dream.

I look upon love every day

and break my heart, for I cannot say

the things I feel so deep and strong.

I cannot speak, so I sing this song."

Oh, now how out of place was this? I'd found tha male
half of tha pair, an' it wasn't hard ta find tha
female. One of tha servin wenches was just standin on
tha othah side of tha room, starin at tha singer with
a dreamy look in her blue eyes. Her hair was more
yella than gold, an' I don't know if I'd go so far as
ta call her skin creamy, but ya remember how Anieli
was when he was dreamin about Damara, right? Love kinda polishes
people up.

I elbowed Cupid an' pointed. "Him an' her."

He beamed at me, an' I thought I was gonna bust my
leathahs, swellin with pride. "Very good, Strife!
Now, how would you suggest getting them together?"

"Ah, crap. Ya can't just stick 'em?"

"I could, but there's a simpler way, and it will bring
them even closer."

I scowled. "I dunno, Cupe. Tha guy's so shy he won't
even talk ta her--he sings at her. An' what with her
experiences in this place, she's gonna think he's just
comin onta her if he does say anythin."

"I have a way of getting around both of those
problems." He held out his hand. "Loan me your
knife, please."

Oh, now this was odd. "Why?"

"You'll see. I only need it for a moment." I pulled
my knife outta my boot an' handed it to him. He
walked up behind tha wench. All tha girls workin in
this particular tavern wore tha same outfit. It was
sleeveless an' shoulderless. In othah words,
backless, an' tha front was just held up by a tie
around tha neck. Cupe smiled at me, then flicked tha
knife, neatly slicin through tha tie.

Tha top dropped. Tha tray an' everything on it
dropped. Tha boobs didn't. Yowza.

Tha tray an' tankards made a loud enough noise hittin
tha floor. Her screamin sorta assured that she was
tha center of attention. Ya nevah heard such a
whistlin an' shoutin an stompin. I was speechless.
That was a stunt I woulda been proud of, an' I nevah
would've credited that Cupe coulda thought it up, much
less carried it off. Still, funny as it was, I didn't
see how it was gonna get those two tagetha, much less
convince tha girl that tha guy was on tha up an' up.

Then tha minstrel jumped offa tha little dias he'd been
performin on. He musta known that he couldn't get
through tha mob of people, cause he didn't bothah ta
try. He jumped from table ta table. Luckily tha
plate he stepped in belonged to a mercinary that was
too meserized by tha, uh, secondary sexual attributes
(sheesh, I feell stupid callin those secondary. They
were first class, all tha way) ta notice.

Anyway, while he was jumpin from table ta table, he
was whippin off his shirt. Tha girl musta thought she
was gonna get nailed right there in tha spilled ale,
cause her eyes got as big as tha tray she'd been
carryin. But when he landed in fronta her, he gently
put tha shirt around hhoulhoulders, pullin it closed.
That was a good trick, cause he was so skinny, an she
was so blessed that there wasn't a hell of a lot of
slack.

There were some boos, but everybody decided ta just be
grateful for tha unexpected show, an went back ta
drinkin while wunna tha bards started recitin an epic
that was sure ta have mosta them snorin in their cups
in a little while.

Tha minstrel an' tha wench stood there, starin at each
othah. Finally he said, "Are you all right, m' lady?"

Her mouth dropped open for a second. She wasn't used
ta bein called 'lady', I s'pose, an' she blushed even
deeper than she had when tha top had dropped. But she
smiled, an' said, "Yes, sir. Thanks to your kind
gallantry. You... you come here often, don't you?"

"I do."

She looked away shyly. "There are other, finer
taverns in the area, places where your beautiful
singing would be appreciated, where you could earn
good coin."

"I like the company here."

She looked around at tha drunken ruffians, then looked
at him. He smiled at her, an' she got what he meant.
"I must give you your shirt back."

He shrugged. "It's yours. I don't need it. It's
been warm lately."

"Oh, but if you go out into the night air without it,
you could catch a chill! You'd become hoarse, and you
couldn't sing those lovely, lovely songs." Ya could
almost see him growin taller with each admirin word.

"Keep it as long as you need."

"I have another blouse in my room. Upstairs." She
cut her eyes at him. "But I'm afraid one of these
drunks might try to follow me up there."

His narrow chest puffed out. "They won't dare. I'll
escort you, m'lady."

"Would you? Thank you so much... I don't know your
name."

"Tesko."

"Tesko. My name is Esmerelda."

"Esmerelda." He said tha name like he was tastin it.
"What a beautiful name." I looked at Cupe in
disbelief, an' he shrugged. "Would you mind if I
called you Esme?"

You You mean like a... a pet name?" She smiled shyly.
"No."

"Good. You see, while Esmerelda is melifluous, it's
hard to rhyme."

She gaped again. "You're going to write a song about
me?"

"Esme," he kissed her hand. "Every song I write is
about you."

"You really shouldn't go out into that damp air. You
know, my bed is big enough for two."

Now it was his turn ta gape. We watched them go
upstairs tagethah, an' Cupe nodded. "They'll be
checking into one of Hera's temples pretty soon to get
married."

"Okay, I don't get it. How did that convince her that
he really loved her an' wasn't out for whatevah he
could get?"

"Because if he'd just been interested in her body,
he'd have stood there and stared like everyone else,
wouldn't he?"

Light dawned. "O-h-h. Yeah, I see. Everyone else
was just oglin, an' he reacted protectively."

"Yes, when you love someone, you value them, and you
try to protect them." Even though tha men were still
mutterin an' cursin, an' tha bard was still dronin,
tha tavern seemed ta get kinda quiet. "And you just
hope that they understand."

Cupe was starin at me, those eyes shiftin shades in
tha flicker of lamplight so that I couldn't tell what
color they were, an' that made me think of how hard it
would be ta write a love song about Cupid, cause ya
couldn't very well say his eyes were green an' gold
an' blue an' sometimes grey, couldya? An' 'Cupid'
would be a real bitch ta try to rhyme.

Well, tha
technical part would be hard, anyway. Ya would nevah
get it good enough ta actually sing it to him.

But, say, if ya was just doin it because ya had ta do
it, an' no one was evah gonna hear it but you, cause
it said what you felt, an' no one could evah be
allowed ta know that...

Somehow I don't think that would be hard at all.
- 9
- 10
- 11
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Cupid's Little Helper