In My Life

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
--Freddie Mercury


"I came to a realization in Amsterdam." Autolycus said as he finished off his coffee. "I was just sitting there on the concrete steps, sucking down some premium Dutch suds, watching the sun set over the canals when I realized what I really needed. I think it's time for me to fall in love again."

"Love doesn't exactly keep a time table, you know." Hercules said, swirling the dregs of his coffee in the styrofoam cup.

"Yeah, I know. It's just, every relationship I've been in since Günther has felt empty. Oh, one night stands and fuck buddies are OK, but I need the real thing."

"Wish I could help you, Autolycus, but, I'm happily married and I try not to get involved with relatives anyway."

"Eh, you're not my type anyway. Before I went on my little pilgrimage to Amsterdam, I was in a relationship with a guy named Clive. We had a little apartment in West Hollywood. We didn't always get along. Clive was very political, into rallys and gay pride marches. I feel I'm already liberated. Why should I have to waste my time at these things? He couldn't stand the fact that I like girls too. Funny, a lot of people, both gay and straight, just think bis can't make up their minds. Like you said, it's more about loving a person than loving a gender, I guess. Well, you remember that big broo-ha-ha that had evey gay and lesbian in California racing to Sacremento? Clive wanted us to get married too, and I had to stop and think. I didn't want to get married just to make a political statement. And, I had to confess, I just wasn't /in/ love with Clive. I think I was with him just to be with somebody. You can imagine what happened next."

"I imagine Clive was not happy."

"Words were said, dishes were thrown. I think I left some of my CDs at his place. Good thing I got 'em backed up on iPod. Weird thing about immortality. Your music tastes are considered eclectic because you've heard it all. My Pod's got Mozart, Benny Goodman, Vivaldi, Queen, The Stones, Three Doors Down, Elvis, REM...just a big mix and match."

"Same with me." Hercules laughed. "But, you're OK now, right? You got someplace to live?"

"Don't worry about me, Hercules. I got plenty of cash. After /Der Füher/ was out of the picture, I cracked his safe, took the money and ran. I spent the next few years in the States, trying to find myself. With these fancy new security systems, it's harder than ever to be a thief. In the mid eighties, I invested in a little company called Apple. Maybe you heard of it?"

"Maybe."

"And don't forget equity. You buy a piece of land for next to nothing, wait a decade or so and sell it for a small fortune. In this day and age, it doesn't even have to be fertile. People just want to build things on it. For instance, after the war I bought a dirt cheap bit of land in France and sold it to the Disney corporation not long ago."

"Something tells me you got the better part of that deal." said Hercules.

"Where do you think that black Lamborgini came from?" Autolycus chuckled as he pointed out the window to a sports car in the parking lot. "Well, suffice to say, I've got a considerably large Swiss bank account and won't have to worry about money for the longest time. But, lately, that just doesn't seem to be enough."

"Autolycus, I'll tell you what I told my friend John in '63. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love."

"Was John's last name Lennon by any chance?"

"Yeah. I was a bodyguard for the Beatles until Ares started that trouble in Vietnam."

"You gotta tell me about that one!"

"First I want to hear about your quest for love. How's it going?"

"That's what brought me to this Starbucks. I decided to take my chances with this new internet dating service. I billed myself as bisexual on my profile, which means I have twice as many losers and scumbags to sort through. I've met a few people, but so far nothing's worked out. I came here to meet a woman I've so far only spoken with through e-mail. Her name's Annie. She sent me a photo to recognize her." He took a print out from his wallet and showed it to Hercules. "She's sorta cute, in a geeky sort of way."

"Cute?" Hercules scrutinized the photo. "Autolycus, even with the glasses, she looks an awful lot like Xena."

"You think so?" Autolycus looked at the photo again. "Huh. I guess she does. Annie broke up with her boyfriend Harry a year ago. He found his soulmate and she wanted to find hers. That's what's got me a little worried. I've heard that when a woman puts 'seeking soulmate' in her profile, that means she'll be a stalker. I mean, you don't believe that there's one person out there for everyone, do you?"

"I know it."

"Know it? Hercules, you've lived as long as I have. You've loved more than one person over the millenium. You were even in a three-way for crying in the beer!"

"And I've loved them all."

"Yeah, but, the whole idea of soul mates, that's just corny romantic junk, right? Unless you believe in something silly like reincarnation."

Hercules smiled. "Believe what you will, Autolycus, but I think you should give this Annie person a fighting chance."

"Maybe I will. Until she shows up, why don't you tell me about being the Beatles' bodyguard?"
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A/N: Who is this Annie person? A certain episode of XWP reveals that.
Tune in next week for the continuation of "In My Life".

In the meantime, enjoy my other fic "Reap the Whirlwind".