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On the Wings of Maybe	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 1468 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
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Tom stood on the sidewalk and watched Dennis drive away. They had driven the short distance to his home in silence and now he wished he had at least finished the apology he had tried to deliver back at Dennis’ apartment. He felt he owed Booker that much. With a sigh, he turned and walked into his building. He climbed the two flights of stairs up to his apartment and searching through his pockets, he found his key and opened the door. The remnants of his drinking lay around the room and his stomach lurched at the memory. When he had finished the six-pack of beers he had in his refrigerator, he had driven to the bar around the corner from Dennis’ apartment to continue his self-indulgent pity-fest. After downing countless glasses of Jack Daniel’s he had driven the half mile to Dennis’ apartment and the rest as they said, was history.
Walking into the bathroom, he kicked off his boots and undressed. Turning on the faucets, he stepped into the cubicle and pulled the curtain around him. His behavior had been reprehensible but he knew it was due to the conflicting feelings that now consumed his every thought. Booker had always been his nemesis, his rival and now, not only was he having warm and fuzzy feelings towards the man he had despised not too long ago, he was also feeling a strong sexual attraction towards him. Never in his life had he felt the desire to kiss another man and yet twice he had thrown himself at Dennis as the overwhelming need to feel his full lips pressed against him had completely pushed all sense and reason from his mind.
Bowing his head, he let the heat of the water wash away his humiliation. Tears of shame filled his eyes and slowly trickled down his cheeks, their saltiness mixing with the flowing water. He was falling in love with Dennis Booker and he did not understand why. He was comfortable enough to admit to himself that Dennis was extremely attractive but he had met attractive men before and he had never felt the urge to have a relationship with them. But what confused him the most was that he had not felt a sexual desire to be with Booker until he had found out that he was bisexual. He now wondered if he had always felt an attraction towards men but had never acknowledged it or acted upon it because he had never met anyone who was gay. The nagging question that kept floating around in his mind was, am I bisexual or am I just curious? Dennis’ statement, “You know how I feel about you Tommy but I won’t be used as an experiment,” haunted him. Booker was in love with him and he needed to be one hundred percent sure of his own feelings before he acted on his emotions, otherwise he risked hurting him in a way he did not deserve.
An overwhelming sense of tiredness washed over his body and turning off the shower, he stepped out and quickly dried himself off. Walking into his bedroom, he pulled on an old pair of sweat pants and a sweatshirt. Collapsing onto the bed, he placed an arm behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. He and Dennis were due back at the Chapel the following morning and he knew he needed to resolve his feelings before then, otherwise working together would once again become an issue.
**
The loud ringing of the phone woke Tom from a deep sleep. Rolling over, he grabbed up the receiver. “Dennis?” he mumbled sleepily.
Penhall’s jolly voice sounded down the phone. “Dennis? Whoa Hanson, I know you and Booker are trying to find a way to work together but dreaming about him is taking things a bit far don’t you think?”
Tom’s face flushed red and sitting up, he ran a hand through his tousled hair. “What do you want Doug?” he asked wearily.
Doug ignored Tom’s irritated tone. “I just thought I’d check up on you,” he replied cheerfully. “You said you weren’t feeling well when I picked you up from the lake and then last night I came over but you didn’t answer the door.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, Tom screwed his eyes closed and tried to think of a plausible story. “I um… I took a sleeping pill,” he lied. “I guess I didn’t hear you.”
“Really?” Penhall asked in a disbelieving voice. “So how come your Mustang was gone?”
When Tom did not answer, Doug let out a heavy sigh. He knew Tom’s feelings about taking drugs and he found it highly unlikely that he had taken a sleeping pill. “Is there something going on Hanson? ‘Cause if you want to talk about—”
“There’s not,” Tom replied curtly. “Jesus Doug, I’ve been shot and I’ve suffered a dislocated shoulder, all in the space of a couple of months. I think I’m allowed to take some medication if I need it.”
Hearing the mounting agitation in Tom’s voice, Penhall immediately backed off. “Sure buddy, whatever you think is right. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Tom sighed. “Yeah,” he replied quietly, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hanging up the phone, he lay back down on the bed and stared moodily at the ceiling. His world was becoming a complication of lies and denial and if he did not make a decision about Dennis soon, he knew it would only become more problematical as time went on.
**
Hanson paid the cab driver and stepped out onto the pavement. A cool breeze chilled the night air and he shivered involuntarily. Walking up the steps into the building, he caught the elevator up to the third floor and stopping outside of apartment 306, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. He had made his decision and now he was about to face Booker and explain everything that had been going on in his mind over the last few days.
Rapping his knuckles against the door, he chewed nervously at his lower lip. The sound of the television muted and his heart rate quickened when he heard footsteps approaching. When the door opened, he managed an awkward smile. “Hey.”
Dennis’ face broke into a wide grin and stepping back from the doorway, he let Tom enter. “Hey yourself, you’re looking better.”
“Yeah well, a hot shower and a few hours sleep has its benefits,” Tom joked before shifting uncomfortably on his feet. “Look Dennis, I really want to apologize for—”
Booker held up his hand. “Don’t,” he replied quietly as he indicated for Tom to take a seat on the sofa. “All is forgotten.”
Tom sat down and let out a sigh. “No it’s not,” he stated softly. “It can’t be forgotten Dennis, not now. I need to talk about it… I need to tell you how I feel.”
Dennis’ eyes widened in surprise at Tom’s proclamation. He had been fully prepared for Tom to walk through the door and act as though nothing had happened between them and now he was saying that he wanted to talk about their encounter. Shaking his head slightly at the wonder of it all, he sat down on the opposite end of the couch. “O-kay,” he replied slowly. “So… what’s on your mind Hanson?”
“You,” Tom murmured bluntly and Booker’s eyes widened a little further at the admission. “I can’t stop thinking about you… I can’t stop thinking about our kiss.”
Booker rubbed a trembling hand over his mouth. “Meaning?” he asked softly and his heart hammered in his chest as he clung to the single thread of hope that he and Tom might finally be together.
Hanson’s mouth twitched into a nervous smile. “Meaning… I think I’m attracted to you.”
They were not quite the words that Dennis had longed to hear but they were a start. Tilting his head on one side, he gave Tom a quizzical look. “You think you’re attracted to me or you are attracted to me?” he asked directly.
A pink hue tinged Tom’s cheeks and he ducked his head endearingly. “I am attracted to you,” he murmured softly.
Realizing that he was not going to get any more information out of Tom unless he continued to push, Booker moved across the couch and laid a hand on his knee. “Are you saying that you want to take this further?”
Lifting his head, Tom peered up through his long bangs. “Yeah,” he replied quietly, “I am.”
A slow smile spread over Dennis’ face and leaning forward, he pulled Tom into a hug. At first, the young officer’s body remained stiff but he eventually relaxed into the embrace. Booker buried his face in Tom’s hair and inhaled the sweet scent of his shampoo. When they eventually pulled apart, he grinned at Tom’s obvious embarrassment. “Jesus Hanson, it was only a hug, just wait until we get to the good stuff.”
Tom’s blush deepened and he scrambled to his feet. “Well… I guess I should go,” he mumbled. “We’ve got our first day back at work tomorrow.”
Booker stood up and placed his hands on Tom’s hips. “Stay,” he murmured.
At the softness of Dennis’ voice, Tom’s lips twitched into a shy smile. “I don’t know,” he muttered uncomfortably, "maybe it would be better if we took it slow.”
Dennis understood that Tom was nervous and he gave him a reassuring smile. “I promise you Tommy, I won’t pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. You can set the pace, okay?”
Tom chewed on his lower lip as he digested Booker’s words. Finally, he met the dark haired officer’s expectant gaze. “Okay,” he acceded quietly.
Taking hold of Tom’s hand, Dennis led him into the bathroom and found him a new toothbrush still in its packet. “Make yourself at home,” he instructed, “and if you need anything, just ask.”
Closing the bathroom door, Hanson leaned heavily against the hand basin. His heart raced in his chest as it slowly dawned on him that he was entering into a homosexual relationship with Dennis Booker. Closing his eyes, he could not help but wonder what his mother and work colleagues would think if they knew. He was certain that they would be left speechless by the revelation and it was then that he decided that he would keep it a secret, at least for the time being. It was difficult enough for him to get his head around it and he did not feel like having to explain his decision to curious friends and family.
Picking up the toothbrush, he tore open the wrapper and squirted a dollop of toothpaste onto the head. He ignored his reflection in the mirror as he proceeded to brush his teeth. When he was finished, he ran a trembling hand through his hair and walked into Booker’s bedroom.
Dennis sat on the bed dressed only in a pair of boxers. Lowering his eyes, Tom waited until he had left the room before slipping off his sling and quickly undressing down to his t-shirt and boxers. Slipping between the cool sheets, his heart raced uncontrollably as he waited for Dennis to join him. When the bathroom light switched off, he held his breath and waited.
When Dennis entered the bedroom, a small frown creased his forehead. “Jesus Tommy,” he murmured softly, "you look terrified.”
Tom immediately felt stupid and letting out the breath he had been holding, he managed a small smile. “Sorry, I guess I’m a little nervous.”
Pulling back the covers, Dennis climbed into bed and after switching off the bedside lamp, he rolled over so that he was facing Tom. “I told you,” he whispered as his fingers lightly played with Tom’s hair, "we’ll take it slow. Whatever you want, okay?”
Moonlight shone through the partially opened shutters of the bedroom window, casting an eerie glow across the room. Tom knew exactly what he wanted, and taking a deep breath, he gazed into Dennis’ dark eyes. “I want you to kiss me,” he whispered.
Dennis’ stomach somersaulted and leaning forward, he brushed his lips against Tom’s full pout. Tom parted his lips to allow Booker access and their tongues danced together as they explored each other’s mouths. Becoming bolder, Booker deepened the kiss as he lightly trailed his fingers over Tom’s stomach. The intimacy of the contact sent a shiver down Tom’s spine and he let out a soft moan. Breaking the kiss, Dennis stared down at him with heavily lidded eyes. “Can I take off your t-shirt?” he murmured.
When Hanson nodded, Booker took hold of the bottom of the shirt and pulled it over his head. Looking down at Tom’s smooth, toned chest, he let out a sigh of appreciation. Tom laughed softly and pulling Dennis towards him, he kissed him tenderly.
It was Dennis’ turn to moan in pleasure and as their kiss intensified, his hands explored Tom’s upper body. After several minutes, he pulled away and gazed down at Tom lovingly. “I want you to lie back and enjoy this,” he whispered.
Tom nodded nervously. He waited until Dennis was leaning over his body before closing his eyes as warm lips pressed against his skin and rained soft kisses down his torso. He gasped when a moist tongue swirled around his navel and his cock hardened. He could feel Dennis’ hot breath just inches from his growing erection and as his arousal grew, he let out a soft moan.
Dennis trailed kisses back up Tom’s body and when he reached his throat, he sucked greedily on the taught skin, leaving a red mark in his wake. Lifting his head, he swirled his tongue around the ridge of Tom's ear and in a breathless voice he whispered, “Can I touch you?”
Tom writhed beneath him. “Yesss,” he breathed. Never before had someone given such selfless attention to his wants and needs. His cock ached to be touched and he longed to feel Booker’s fingers wrapped around him.
But Dennis was not one to be rushed and he took his time exploring Tom’s body with his fingers and tongue. When he finally stopped, Tom’s cock was fully erect and tenting his boxers. Sitting back on his haunches, he smiled mischievously before lightly running his index finger down the length of Tom's shaft.
Tom’s hips bucked off the bed and his eyes flew open. Dennis’ smile widened. “Do you want more?” he teased softly.
Two huge, dark eyes stared up at him but when Tom did not speak, he started to become concerned. “Tommy?” he prompted gently. “Is everything okay?”
“I-I…” Tom stuttered and his eyes misted over. “I can’t!”
Booker immediately realized that Tom was starting to panic and he quickly moved so that he was no longer straddling his legs. Once free, Tom scrambled from the bed and stood in the middle of the floor, his dark eyes filled with confusion. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled in embarrassment, “I don’t think I can do this.”
As he stared at Tom’s flustered expression, Dennis mentally kicked himself. He had promised Hanson he would take it slow and the moment he had him in his bed, he had started to push the boundaries. It was obvious now that it had been a huge mistake; Tom was not ready for that level of intimacy.
Climbing slowly off the bed, he tested the waters by reaching out and taking Tom’s hand. “It’s okay,” he reassured calmly, “it’s my fault. I promised I’d take it slow and I guess I got a little carried away.”
Feeling like a fool, Tom attempted a small smile. “No, it’s my fault. I don’t know why, but… Shit! I know I want this so why is it so fucking hard?”
Dennis thought carefully about his answer before speaking and as the words tumbled from his lips, he could not believe he was actually saying them. “Maybe it’s not really what you want. Maybe… maybe we should forget about it and just stay friends.”
Tom’s eyes narrowed and he pulled his hand away. “Do you think I don’t know my own mind?” he asked crossly.
Sensing that Tom was about to get angry, Dennis let out a sigh. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just… are you really sure you know what you’re getting into?”
Tom’s anger disappeared as quickly as it had risen and his shoulders slumped wearily. “Not really,” he muttered. “But these feelings I have are real Dennis.”
Booker stepped forward and wrapping his arms around Tom, he hugged him tightly. “Then we take it slow,” he stated gently, “and that way, no one gets hurt.’
A warm feeling of love washed over Tom and lifting his head, he brushed his lips against the fullness of Booker’s pout. “Can I still stay the night?”
“Of course,” Dennis murmured against Tom’s mouth and taking hold of his hand, he led him back to the bed. When they were once again settled under the covers, he wrapped an arm protectively around Tom’s waist and held him close. Minutes passed and he heard Tom’s breathing slow as he fell into a deep slumber but for him, sleep was elusive
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- 11
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On the Wings of Maybe