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Undertow	By : kattanon Category: S through Z > The Shield Views: 1328 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Shield, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
Title: - I Want To Kiss Like Lovers Do
Author: - Katt
E-mail: - kattanon@yahoo.co.uk

Rating: - R
Series: - Undertow Part 8/?
Feedback: - Like it or loathe it let me know
Archive: - Archived at the Shield Fanfiction Archive
Disclaimers: - I don�t own any of the characters of The Shield, they all belong to Shawn Ryan and FX. The song "Here Comes The Rain Again" is performed by "The Eurythmics" and written by Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart.

I Want To Kiss Like Lovers Do � "Cupid and Psycho"

"Here comes the rain again

Falling on my head like a memory

Falling on my head like a new emotion

I want to walk in the open wind

I want to talk like lovers do

I want to dive into your ocean

Is it raining with you?
So baby talk to me

Like lovers do

Walk with me

Like lovers do

Talk to me

Like lovers do."

Standing under the hot shower, feeling the water pouring down over his shoulders and back Dutch felt relaxed. The pounding of the water, the heat, loosening tense muscles, washing away the pressures of his job, the pressures of his own expectations of himself. If only for a moment � it felt good.
Turning his face into the water, and wiping a hand back over his face, through his wet hair, Dutch could hear notes of music as the same song that he�d heard before when he�d called at Kim�s house, to ask about Phoenix, began to play. For a moment a twinge of guilt, of regret, twisted deep inside his heart, but Dutch ruthlessly reached out and smothered it. However, no sooner had he begun to relax again then there was the guilt welling up inside of him. Guilt at what he�d done, what he�d allowed to happen here. When Shane had been describing Kim earlier,

"You know the "I lost my husband tragically, but I�m still young, and hot, and in need of an emotional release kinda sex""

Dutch had thought he was joking, because surely even Shane Vendrell couldn�t really be that crass could he? Yet here he was relaxed and sated after both him and Kim had indulged in some "emotional release kinda sex". How shallow did that make him?
Dutch felt himself beginning to get annoyed, he was losing that pleasant, slightly boneless feeling from having several very enjoyable orgasms. Loosing the feeling of completeness he felt after sharing himself with another human being, after being connected with someone else, after not being alone. The water was cooling; the tense set to his shoulders was back, his muscles bunching under his skin.
This wasn�t right and he knew it.

"Here comes the rain again

Raining on my head like a tragedy

Tearing me apart like a new emotion

I want to breathe in the open wind

I want to kiss like lovers do

I want to dive into your ocean

Is it raining with you?
So baby talk to me

Like lovers do

Walk with me

Like lovers do

Talk to me

Like lovers do."

It wasn�t only wrong for him and Kim, what about Vic? Shit, yeah what about Vic, he thought to himself. For all he knew maybe Vic was just playing with him, setting him up for a fall. For all he knew maybe Vic was screwing Danny right now, or maybe he was screwing his wife. God, the whole thing was fucked up. When he�d stumbled over his words in the kitchen with Kim, when she�d kissed him, he�d told her,

"Today�today has been very emotional for you�ah�delayed grief, pent up emotions, misplaced feelings."

What he hadn�t told her was that some of those "�pent up emotions" and "misplaced feelings" were his.
His mind had been repeatedly returning to that encounter with Vic in the bathroom at The Barn. The memory of his own clumsy attempt at propositioning the other man, the touch of Vic�s fingers on his wrist, the way he felt the ghost of that touch every time he saw Vic now. The memory of Vic�s softly spoken words,

"� if you need someone�to be there for you. I�m here."

What is it I really want though? Dutch thought to himself.
A relationship with Vic would be fraught with difficulties, it would have to be kept secret, and would it even be a relationship? He still wasn�t sure exactly what Vic wanted. Did Vic want a relationship with him, or did he just want a warm body when Danny wasn�t available? That thought made Dutch feel a little sick.
Was any of that what he really wanted?
Surely this was easier? This was something that wouldn�t have to be kept hidden. He could walk hand in hand down the street with Kim, kiss her in front of whom ever he choose. There would be no looking over his shoulder, worrying in case a word or a look gave away the secret. Surely this was better?
Reaching up to switch off the now cold water Dutch shivered and couldn�t stop his mind from wondering where Vic was, and who he was with.

"Here comes the rain again

Falling on my head like a memory

Falling on my head like a new emotion
I want to walk in the open wind

I want to talk like lovers do

I want to dive into your ocean

Is it raining with you?"
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Undertow