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Then As It Was, Then Again It Will Be	By : OpenPage Category: 1 through F > 21 Jump Street Views: 1349 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own 21JS or the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. All characters and events in this story are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is coincidental.

Chapter List
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Whilst Tom showered, Booker set to and cleaned up the apartment. He figured that if he was going to be spending so much time there, he might as well keep it habitable. He picked up all the clothing in the living room and dumped it in a pile. He then started on the kitchen. It appeared that Penhall was in favor of using all the crockery before he even considered doing the washing up. Satisfied with his efforts, he poured a second cup of coffee and sat down to watch the morning news.
When Hanson emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, it was already nearly eleven o’clock. Watching as he walked past and into his room, Booker could clearly see the faint scars on Tom’s back spelling out WHORE and his heart caught in his throat from the pain he felt for his friend. He blinked back angry tears as his fists clenched into balls. He wondered if the scars would ever completely fade, or would Tom forever have a constant reminder engraved into his skin, a reminder of exactly when his life had irrevocably changed forever.
Twenty minutes later, Tom’s voice called out. “Dennis?”
Booker was on his feet in moments. “You okay Tom?”
Hanson’s voice had an edge of frustration to it. “C-can you come here? I n-need some help.”
Walking into the bedroom, Booker saw Tom sitting on the edge of the bed. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and jeans but his socks and sneakers were still on the floor by the bed.
“You need a hand with those?” he asked gently, not wanting to make too bigger deal of the situation.
Getting carefully to his feet, Hanson replied shyly, “And this. I c-can’t do the b-button up.”
Tom’s jeans hung low on his hips, the button undone and the zipper partway down. “Seems my f-fingers don’t want to w-work.”
Dennis stepped forward and carefully pulled up the zipper and buttoned the top of Tom’s jeans. Once Tom was again seated, he knelt down and put on Tom’s socks and shoes. It saddened him that such simple tasks proved such a struggle for his friend but he was secretly grateful for the contact. As he finished tying the laces, he looked up to see Hanson’s gaze firmly upon him. He gave a reassuring smile but Tom’s gaze remained fixed, as though in a trance.
An uneasy feeling began to course through Booker’s body. “Tommy?”
Tom shook his head slightly and smiled. “S-sorry, I was just r-remembering something.”
Sitting back on his heels, Dennis returned the smile. “Really? What was that?”
A flush crept up Tom’s face, giving it a healthy glow. “You... and m-me, in our apartment.”
“Oh?” was all that Booker could manage, his own face beginning to redden.
“Yeah,” Tom replied quietly. “You p-pushed the hair out of m-my eyes and—”
“I remember,” Booker said softly, his voice tinged with sadness. “I’d hit you and you had a bruise. I asked you if it hurt.”
To Dennis’ surprise, Tom reached out and gently stroked his face. “When you t-touched me, I felt s-something.”
Booker’s blood pounded in his ears as his breathing became heavy. This was the confession he had been longing to hear. It had not been his imagination that during their short time together during the Huntsfield case, Tom really had begun to develop feelings for him. It was a bittersweet moment. Life would have been so very different had Tom admitted to his feelings in the beginning. Dennis was certain their argument at the bar would never have eventuated had there not been pent up sexual tension. Booker knew he had overreacted to the homosexual taunts and if he could change anything it would be the moment he decided to storm out of the bar and leave Tom alone. His decision haunted him every day but he had learnt to accept that he could not change the past. Now the future was proving to be just as much out of his control. The irony of Tom confessing his feelings whilst still dealing with his own demons was not lost on Booker. The one positive was that Tom had willingly made contact, albeit just a gentle stroke of his face. But from everything Doug had told him, it was a huge step for Tom. Dennis was terrifyingly aware that Tom’s recovery hinged on how he handled the next few moments.
Closing his eyes, he calmed his breathing and when he opened them, Tom was still watching him intently. An embarrassed smile touched his lips and averting his eyes, he gently picked up Hanson’s hand in his own. When Tom did not pull away, he gave the fingers a squeeze. Feeling Tom return the gesture, Booker boldly laid a hand on Tom’s knee. Their eyes locked and Booker’s smile faded slightly. “I wish you’d told me Tommy,” he said sadly.
“I’m t-telling you now,” Tom replied quietly, his eyes seductively drawing Booker in.
Dennis stood up and sat on the bed next to Hanson. He paused for a moment before brushing the long bangs from his friend’s dark eyes. “Are you saying... do you want to start a relationship with me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Carefully drawing his hand away, Hanson pulled himself backwards on the bed until he was leaning against the headboard. Despondency shadowed his face. “There’s s-some things you sh-should know about m-me Dennis. I’m d-damaged.” When Booker began to protest, Hanson put a hand up to stop him. Pulling his legs up, he rested his chin on his knees as he wrapped his arms around his legs, as though he were protecting himself from some unseen predator. “There’s so m-much I c-can’t do since I was r-raped. Things d-don’t... shit! This is s-so fucking hard.” He gave Booker a look of desperation, as if willing him to understand what he was attempting to say. “I c-can’t... I c-can’t... oh fuck! I n-never thought th-this would h-happen to me!” Burying his face, he began to weep. Dennis refrained from taking him into his arms, instead, he gently rubbed Tom’s leg. Hanson’s sobbing subsided and lifting his head, he gave Dennis a watery smile. “S-sorry. I’m s-so damn emotional all the t-time.”
“Don’t apologize,” Dennis replied kindly as he reached out and brushed a tear from Tom’s cheek. With a sigh, he made a difficult decision. As much as he wanted to continue the conversation, he did not think it was in Tom’s best interests. “Let’s leave it for now, okay? We can talk later.”
Tom smiled gratefully as he rubbed his hands over his face to remove the remaining tears. Swinging his legs over the bed he stood up and picking up his cane, he slowly walked from the room.
**
After Tom’s melt down, Dennis did not push the issue of going out. They instead spent the rest of the day chatting and watching TV. Booker made sure to keep the conversation light; sport, current affairs, any topic that was unlikely to cause Tom stress. The more time he spent with Hanson, the greater his understanding became of how difficult it must be for Penhall. Doug had no obligation to Tom except that he was his friend. Hanson’s own mother had abandoned him in his time of need and Penhall had not hesitated to step in and be Tom’s rock. It was just one more reason why Dennis wanted Doug as his friend. Loyalty obviously ran deep in Penhall’s blood.
After lunch, Tom had fallen asleep in the chair. For the first time since they had reunited, Tom looked peaceful. Dennis spent a few hours silently watching him sleep and marveling at just how beautiful Tom was. Booker’s body ached for Hanson’s touch and for a brief moment he closed his eyes and allowed his imagination complete freedom to fantasize about how it would feel to have Tom’s body writhing beneath him. As his cock began to swell, he quickly opened his eyes and pushed all erotic thoughts of Tom from his mind. It was difficult, especially after Tom’s shocking declaration earlier in the day that he had feelings for him. His initial elation at hearing the words he had longed to hear had quickly been dampened by Hanson’s break down when trying to confide the extent of his disability. He wondered exactly what Tom had been trying to tell him. He knew his decision not to push was the right one but so many unanswered questions hung between them and until everything was out in the open, their relationship would not be able to progress to the next level.
Booker was pulled from his ruminations by Tom’s moaning. Although still asleep, Hanson’s body was trembling and a deep frown was etched on his face. Booker sat mesmerized, as Tom started speaking, his head moving frantically from side to side. “No…no... no… NO… NO!”
His final word was a scream that quickly brought Booker to his feet. Without thinking, he grabbed hold of Tom’s quivering body. Within seconds, Hanson’s hands were wrapped around his throat, his fingers squeezing tighter and tighter. Still deeply asleep, Tom’s eyes were open but unseeing as he continued to scream. “NO! NO! NO!”
“Tommy… st-op!” Booker gasped as he clawed frantically at his throat in an attempt to pull Hanson’s hands away.
Tom’s eyes came into focus and with a final yell, he pulled away as his eyes widened in terror. “D-Dennis! I’m s-sorry! I didn’t—”
“It’s… okay,” Booker managed to croak before collapsing into a coughing fit. As his breathing returned to normal Booker became aware of Tom’s frightened expression. He attempted a reassuring smile but Tom’s expression did not change as he stared transfixed at the red marks around Booker’s neck.
“Y-y-you… sh-sh-should… g-g-go,” Tom finally replied, his stutter so bad that his face became twisted from the effort. “Y-y-you’re… n-n-not… s-s-safe…”
“STOP!” Dennis yelled, his voice raspy. “Just fucking STOP!”
When Tom flinched back, Booker immediately regretted his outburst. Reaching out, he cupped Tom’s face gently in both hands. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled. But you’ve got to understand Tommy, no matter what, I’m here to stay, okay.”
Tom’s expression calmed and closing his eyes, he allowed Booker’s fingers to caress his face. After several moments he opened his eyes and taking Dennis’ hands in his, he leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against Booker’s.
The sound of a key in the door jerked them apart just moments before Penhall entered the apartment and greeted them enthusiastically. “Hey fellas, what’s up?”
- 10
- 11
- 12
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Then As It Was, Then Again It Will Be