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Pretty Boy: Reprise	By : Wagamama_hime Category: 1 through F > Criminal Minds Views: 5108 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. It is the sole intellectual property of the CBS Corp. This is a work of fiction and I am making no profit from its publication.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
Chapter 11
A/N: I'm gonna be ending it here you guys! I said it would be short (although, God, it's definitely almost 250 pages D:). Of course, there was much more depth I could've gone into with these two, but I hope at least where I've chosen to leave it you guys will feel like you have a much better understanding of where they'll end up. I hope you enjoy it!
Catch you on the other side!
xoxo

As Derek walked up the stairs to check on Spencer, he could see through the living room windows that it was just starting to get dark out. It was Saturday night. Spencer was set to leave on Sunday night. Tonight would be their last night together, and both of them were very much aware of that.
Walking into his bedroom, Derek's eyes immediately fell on the form of Spencer kneeling next to his suitcase on the floor. Derek had tried, as best as he could, to take Spencer's mind off of his impending departure. He could tell that Spencer was trying to keep his spirits up, but every once in a while, when he would catch Spencer with his guard down, Derek could tell that the boy was sad—tangibly so. He wasn't talking a mile-a-minute as he usually did. He wasn't being as snarky or teasing as he used to be either. But that was to be expected. Neither one of them could ignore the fact that this was all coming to an end.
And last night, even the tone of their love-making had been affected by the sense that their time was running out. Just thinking about it, gave Derek a strange sense of nostalgia. It had felt so right. Like he had always been with Spencer, and like he could imagine being with him forever. Strangely enough, it was the first time they had done it completely missionary-style. Plain old, vanilla 'missionary.' But it had been one of the sweetest times yet. Almost as good as the first. Remembering, Derek felt a warm pulse of desire run through his body; not the hot-blooded spike of lust that usually overtook his mind and made him want nothing more than to push Spencer up against a hard surface and ravage him, but a genuine sense of wanting Spencer, and wanting all of him:
Derek had gone slow—so slow. Most of their other bouts of love-making had been rushed. Like they couldn't wait to devour the other. Desperate touches and gasping breaths, that mounted and mounted until they both crashed over the edge. But, this time, Derek felt like he needed to take it slow.
He had stretched out their time together, teasing Spencer, bringing him to the brink and back again. He had kissed and licked every inch of Spencer's body, starting from his toes all the way up to the tip of his chin, before he had captured Spencer's lips, making him whimper and moan. Derek's hands had trailed all over Spencer's skin, until the boy's body was hot to the touch. And every time Spencer had gotten close to coming—so close that he had begged and pleaded—Derek had denied him. He had wanted it to last.
And last it did.
Derek had made Spencer come twice before he had even considered entering him. By that point Spencer was a mess; all loose-limbs and shuddering flesh. And then, when Derek finally did push inside, Spencer had gripped on to him tight, legs wrapped around his waist, hands grasping desperately across the span of Derek's back as if he didn't want to let him go.
Spencer had been so gone at that point. And as Derek had rocked against him, with slow and deep thrusts, he listened to Spencer babble nonsensically in his ear. Telling him he loved him, telling him how good it felt. And then, suddenly, Spencer was crying.
Derek had immediately stopped, thinking he had—somehow—hurt him. But Spencer had quickly wiped the tears away, laughing as if embarrassed at himself. He had tightened his arms around Derek's back, smiling up at him, hoping to encourage him to continue, and said he had been crying because he had been thinking of something 'stupid.'
Derek had stared into his glistening, honey-colored eyes. And Derek knew—without him even needing to say it—that Spencer had been thinking of the fact that he would be leaving soon. So all Derek could do was kiss him. Long and hard. And take his breath away. He had wanted to obliterate those thoughts from Spencer's head. Because Derek hated thinking about them too.
Now, he was standing in the bedroom, watching Spencer pack, and it made those thoughts return to his mind with a vengeance. They had spent the earlier part of the day out, seeing a few of the last sights Spencer had been interested in, and had made sure to leave Spencer enough time to buy souvenirs. In about another hour or so, they were going to get dinner together, and meet up with the girls for dessert afterwards. As a final farewell to Spencer. Derek tried to ignore how that thought made his stomach clench unhappily.
Sighing, Derek silently watched on as Spencer tried to cram a mini-replica of the Lincoln Memorial into his small suitcase. Derek had told Spencer that he was probably buying too much, but Spencer had protested, listing all the people he needed to get things for. It had been a surprisingly long list seeing as how Derek knew Spencer wasn't all that social. His mother had been at the top of the list, which Derek hadn't been surprised about, but the list also included professors and advisers, and a few friends Spencer had met in the graduate programs at his school. Apparently, according to Spencer, grad students were the only ones who didn't think he was some kind of freak.
Derek frowned as he continued to watch Spencer struggle with the suitcase. He could see the younger man was getting frustrated. But Derek could also tell that Spencer wasn't merely bothered because the contents of his suitcase now seemed to take up twice the space they had when he had first arrived. No, Spencer seemed to be frustrated about other things.
"Kid…" Derek said as he sat down on the edge of his bed.
Spencer glanced over his shoulder, and gave Derek an annoyed look, as if he couldn't believe Derek was interrupting him. Derek probably would have laughed at the sight—Spencer's cheeks slightly flushed from exertion, and hair tumbling all over his face as if he had been wrestling with some giant instead of a mere suitcase—but he knew the situation called for seriousness, so he forced the amusing thoughts out of his mind.
"You wanna leave that alone for a minute and… you know, come over here and talk?" Derek offered as he patted the spot next to him on the neatly-made bed.
Spencer looked at him with confusion, an eyebrow arched curiously. But then Derek watched as realization dawned on the younger man's face and Spencer suddenly looked nervous. Derek couldn't say he knew exactly what was going through Spencer's head, but he had his ideas. So he watched on as Spencer hesitantly got to his feet and made his way over to Derek.
Once Spencer settled down comfortably on the bed, a few inches between him and Derek, Derek reached over and grabbed his hand.
"So… you're leaving tomorrow," Derek began, as he searched Spencer's eyes.
But Spencer quickly looked away, shoulders going rigid and mouth lowering into a thin line.
"Yup… that has always been the plan," he responded, flatly.
"Kid, look at me," Derek said, tone serious.
Spencer looked up at him, but it was as if he was schooling his features. Trying to look unaffected, when Derek knew that that was far from the truth. Letting out a heavy sigh, Derek squeezed Spencer's hand.
"Don't do this. Don't shut me out and just decide for yourself how this conversation is going to go. Okay? I wouldn't ask you to talk about this if I had already thought it was some kind of an open-and-shut case. Do you hear me?" he asked.
Spencer's face crumpled a bit, eyebrows furrowing and face taking on a more vulnerable look, but he didn't say anything in response to Derek's words.
"I told you I would think about… You know, think about us. And I have Spencer. I really have. I thought about how this whole thing is bigger than I ever thought I could deal with. How just the fact that I got involved with you has made me go against almost everything I ever thought I stood for. How it's made me question myself and face up to some things I'd rather not have ever dealt with. And how it's been stressing me out and how it probably always will. But, I also thought about the fact that the idea of you leaving me makes my stomach twist into all of these knots. How it makes me so anxious I'm almost sick to my stomach… And… This happened really fast for me, and I'm not kidding when I say I wasn't prepared for it, but I don't want this to just be it. This can't just be it," Derek stated.
As the words spilled from his mouth, Derek could feel Spencer's hand twitching within his own, as if the younger man didn't know what to do with himself. But Derek continued before Spencer could gather his thoughts to speak.
"Even though I realized I didn't want to let you go, I also had to think about… how any of this could work. There were, and I imagine always will be, a lot of obstacles to consider. But, first and foremost was the issue of the fact that, well… me being with you… everything I've done with you, has completely gone against protocol. And that I absolutely went against everything that was expected of me as a Federal Agent. I didn't want to have to keep you as some dirty secret… as someone I could never be open about. So... I had to finally come clean to… well, my boss," Derek said as he looked at Spencer.
Spencer's eyes widened, looking almost horrified. And Derek just shook his head, almost feeling like he could laugh at Spencer's reaction. But, Derek hadn't felt like laughing when he had spoken to Hotch on the phone this morning.
Remembering back to it, it had been probably the most awkward and humiliating conversation Derek had ever had:
"Morgan?" Hotch had asked once he answered the phone, sounding a bit less surprised about the call than Derek had been expecting.
It was a Saturday, and usually the team made sure to steer far clear of each other on the weekends, if they could help it. During the work week, they saw each other for 9-10 hours a day, and, if they were on a case, it was usually a lot longer than that.
"Well...I can't say I'm exactly surprised by this call," Hotch had said after a pause. "But I had figured you'd wait a little longer to have this… particular 'talk.' So I'm proud of you for coming to me before I had to come to you."
Derek had cringed a bit at that, knowing that that probably would've been the case… if he wanted to avoid this. If he wanted to pretend like what had happened between him and Spencer never had. If Spencer was a mistake, or something Derek was capable of giving up. But Spencer wasn't that. And Derek now knew that he wanted to try to make things work with Spencer. If he wanted that—truly wanted that—he would have to surmount the first big obstacle, which was making sure he wasn't going to have to pick between Spencer and his job.
"Listen, Hotch," Derek had said, feeling like there were rocks in his throat, but forcing himself to get the words out. "I have to…come clean about some 'things.' Uh… I… Look, man, nothing went down like the way Matthews had said it did… but…some things did happen. Between me and Spencer."
There was silence over the line for a moment. And Derek was starkly reminded of the conversation he had had with Garcia only a few days earlier. It felt like déjà vu. The only difference here was that Hotch was not his best-friend, and unlike Garcia, Hotch did have the power to terminate him if he took issue with the things Derek was about to tell him.
"Why don't you just tell me how it did 'go down,' and we'll work from there," Hotch said, once the silence had gone on for long enough.
Swallowing, and steeling his nerves, Derek did just that.
"I don't want to admit to this, but Spencer… well, there was an attraction back in Vegas. While we were working the case, Spencer made it very clear to me that he… 'liked' me. And I knew I should've said something to you, or at least maybe distanced myself but… Well, I really wanted to protect the kid, and I initially thought he was just confused or something. I thought I could handle it. But… then things started to happen that made me realize that maybe he was more serious than I had first thought. I-I never did anything with him during the case, though," Derek rushed to explain.
Hearing no response from Hotch, Derek took a deep breath before continuing.
"But… but I would be lying if I said I wasn't attracted to him, too," Derek admitted. "That I wanted to act on it, but I cared too much about the responsibilities of the job to do that. I never… I never really acted on anything between me and him until after Adrian Moore was put down."
Derek finally heard Hotch respond in the form of a heavy sigh from across the line.
"Do I want to know how soon after Moore was dead that you 'acted' on your feelings?" Hotch asked.
And Derek cringed. He knew Hotch had been looking at him funny when he got on the plane that morning, six months ago in Vegas, following the night he had spent with Spencer.
Derek swallowed uncomfortably before opening his mouth again.
"I...I may have...crossed a few lines back when we were still in Vegas. But, I swear to you, Hotch, none of… none of what has been happening now ever happened while the case was still active," Derek said.
"And what exactly is happening now, Morgan? I'm sure you can't fault me for having been surprised—to say the least—to see a past victim in one of our cases stroll into the BAU after having been told, by one of your teammates, that he had been spending his winter break here. With you. At your house," Hotch said.
Derek wasn't sure how to read Hotch's words. Was he annoyed? Frustrated? Just tired? The older man's tone was indecipherable. And Derek started to wonder if maybe he should've just had this conversation in person. Seeing Hotch's face would've made this a bit easier to navigate. At least he would be able to tell how to steer the conversation based on Hotch's reactions. But what Hotch had said to him in the roundtable room while they were working on the hacker case had been gnawing at him and Derek knew he wouldn't be able to do this on Monday. Besides, Derek was still on break until after Christmas. He didn't know when next he'd be able to see his supervisor. So, this was just the way things were going to have to get done.
"We… There are feelings here, Hotch. I never knew this was going to happen. And believe me, I didn't want for this to happen. And when Spencer asked me if he could come visit, and I offered to let him stay with me, I had completely thought it was going to be platonic—just friends. I thought we had left whatever we had had in Vegas back in Vegas. But things didn't work out that way," Derek murmured.
"Apparently not," Hotch said.
And Derek didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice there.
"I… I guess those feelings were still there. And we… Well, I'm not going to go into detail. But, the time we've spent together… Well, I think we're working toward a relationship, Hotch. Something real. I think I want to be with this kid. And I knew I had to come clean to you. I know I shouldn't have hid it from you in the first place. But… well, I had no idea what I was doing and if it was going to go anywhere. I didn't know how to navigate this thing. And I was worried about pulling him down with me. So, I didn't want to say anything to you until I was sure. And now… now I think I'm pretty sure," Derek admitted, feeling like he was rushing through his words.
Hotch was silent again. Then Derek heard a heavy sigh.
"Derek," Hotch said. "I'm not going to sugarcoat things with you here: this isn't 'good.' No matter how we'd like to see this, getting involved with Spencer was a…poor choice. It's going to make things hard for you. There's always going to be suspicion hanging over your head. Just like Matthews was able to find out about it, other people might, as well—and they might use it against you. Whether they use it to slander you and put your effectiveness and objectivity as an agent into question. Or, whether they use it to hurt Spencer. His history is always going to be in our files. He'll always be one of our cases. If someone really wanted to find it, they could. That's going to always be a reality for you two."
Hotch then let out a frustrated sound.
"And, I'll always have to deny that I know anything about this. If it got out that I knew about this—and how it started—well, my head would be on the chopping block too," Hotch continued, sounding as if the idea of it was already a major headache. "So, if I were you, I'd make sure that no one finds out about any of the things you two 'did' with each other back when we were still working the case. And, I need plausible deniability, as well. So I'm not kidding when I say I do not want you to tell me anything else about what happened between you two in Vegas."
"Hotch, wait, are you saying…" Derek began, eyes widening.
"What? You expect me to fire you? I can't say I'm pleased with how you acted. And it's probably in your best interest that you're already on vacation because I think if I had to have this conversation with you face-to-face I wouldn't be so relaxed. But, even though you do stupid—and I mean stupid—things sometimes, Derek, you're still one of the best agents the Bureau has to offer and you're an integral part of our team. I'm not willing to lose you over something like this," Hotch said.
Then Derek heard Hotch let out a long sigh.
"And... I guess if you two reconnected some time after the case, well… it's definitely not preferred, but I can't exactly say that there's anything in the rule books against that. So, I'd have no real reason to fire you...if we stick with that story," Hotch suggested.
Derek was so shocked—and truthfully, relieved—that he felt like he could kiss Hotch. But he wasn't going to tell him that. He highly doubted Hotch would appreciate it.
"But, Morgan," Hotch said, voice returning to its detached supervisory-tone. "There still has to be some repercussions for this. You'll be put on desk-duty for two weeks when you return from vacation."
Derek had to hold back his grin. Sure, he hated desk-duty. For such a hands-on, active person, the highlight of his job was being in the field and chasing down Unsubs. But, right now, Derek would take sitting on his ass and doing paper work any day if it meant he wasn't getting demoted or downright fired after the stunt he pulled.
"No problem. I totally understand," Derek said.
And, then, after a pause, he said, "Thanks, Hotch… Seriously, man."
"Best of luck, Morgan," was all Hotch said before he hung up.
Hearing that story, Spencer's eyes were still as wide as saucers. But he was also blushing up to his roots, knowing that now Derek's boss knew all about them.
"So," Derek continued, feeling like his own face was on fire. "I meant it… I absolutely meant it when I said I want to see if something can work between us. But, I mean, kid, we also gotta be realistic here. It's already an uphill battle. What, with you being in school all the way in Vegas, and me… well, having the kind of job that means I'm barely ever in the same state in any given week. I… Those are some of the reasons why I was so against trying to do this relationship thing. It'll be so hard, especially because it's so new. We'd be apart more often than we'd be together. Is that really something you think you can deal with?"
Looking at how the prospect of being so far apart made Derek seem so dejected—defeated even—Spencer felt a mixture of anxiety and anticipation churning in his stomach. He had an idea, but he wasn't sure how Derek would respond to it. But hearing how Derek had admitted to his boss that there was something serious between them, and believing that Derek really seemed like he wanted to try to make a relationship work, Spencer felt a bit emboldened.
"Um… I have a slight confession to make," Spencer said, cheeks reddening into a blush. "I wasn't going to say anything at first… I didn't know if I should say anything…"
Derek looked at him expectantly, eyebrow raised, wondering where exactly Spencer was going with this.
"I… I actually don't have any more school left. Well, not of my bachelor's that is," Spencer said.
Derek looked at him with surprise.
"I mean, I only had one semester left when I dropped out back when I was 15. When I started school again, they were able to get me into all the classes that I would need to graduate. And since I did that—and more—in the time since I've been back, technically I'm set to receive my degree. Um… but, my plan was always to get a PhD, as well, and I had already been accepted into my college's program back before… well, all those things that happened when I was younger," Spencer said as he frowned a bit. "And…and since I came back and proved myself to still be at the same level, my school re-extended me the offer to start a PhD there as well."
Derek blinked in surprise, trying to process all the information. Smiling confusedly—and somewhat awed by Spencer—Derek could only offer words of congratulations. That was great for Spencer, but Derek could only see that meaning Spencer would be stuck in school—in Las Vegas—for at least another 5 or so years.
Seeing Derek's confusion, Spencer forced himself to go on.
"Well, I… Even though my school in Vegas already told me they'd accept me into their PhD program, I still ended up applying to other schools as well. Just to see if I could get in."
Derek continued to look at Spencer, apparently still not quite following.
"And all of those schools were either in D.C., Maryland or Virginia," Spencer admitted, face flushing hotly.
And then Derek understood what Spencer had been saying. Spencer had applied to schools near him. And, Derek could only imagine that Spencer would have had to have done this months before (if Derek remembered correctly how the application process went). That meant that Spencer, before even knowing if Derek would have agreed to let him visit him, and without knowing that anything would have been rekindled between them, had still been thinking about him. Had still wanted something with him.
"Spencer…" Derek breathed. "You did that for me?"
Spencer blushed, and wouldn't meet Derek's eyes.
"Well, not just for you," he tried to explain. "I mean, they're really great schools. They have amazing Engineering and Mathematics departments. I'd like to do a double-doctorate, and some of the schools I got into already told me that they'd be willing to let me do that…"
"You got in already?" Derek asked, cutting him off.
Spencer looked up at him, with a matter-of-fact look.
"Well, of course I did," he said, looking confused. "I am a genius, after all."
Derek couldn't help but laugh at that as he reached out and wrapped Spencer up into a hug.
"Wait…" Derek said as he pulled back. "So when you told me you wanted to visit schools…?"
Spencer laughed, cheeks reddening again.
"Yeah, I figured it'd be good to actually see some of the campuses to help me decide if I was going to accept an offer or not," he admitted.
Derek felt his lips turning up into a smile again—so happy for Spencer, and so proud—but then he felt a niggling sense of doubt in the back of his mind. He didn't know if it was okay for Spencer to make these types of decisions when it seemed clear, to Derek, that Spencer was using him as the major deciding factor. That Spencer's choice would rest solely on the fact that he wanted to be closer to him. Derek didn't want to think that Spencer was giving anything up just to be with him. This was a big decision, and Spencer had a bright future ahead of him. So Derek wanted to make sure that he was making the right choice.
"Spencer," Derek said seriously as he placed his hands on Spencer's shoulder. "Kid, I don't want you to make a decision like this just because I'm here. You… you have a lot of things going on for you over in Vegas. You'd be giving up so much by doing this. Would you really be okay just picking up and moving out here… For me? I mean, this thing between us just started, kid. What if… what if things don't work out and you're stuck over here?"
Spencer's eyes widened slightly and he bit his lip, as if suddenly sobered by Derek's words.
"Derek…I don't feel like I'd be 'giving anything up' to come out here. I mean, I did research the schools thoroughly. I can do the same and more if I came over to the East Coast. And, besides, I've started to put some thought into the type of job I'd like to do once I graduate, and being over here will give me a lot better access to making that goal a reality," Spencer said, somewhat cryptically.
But Derek's mind was elsewhere as he forged on with his objections.
"You wouldn't be giving anything up, huh? What about your mother, Spencer? Do you still go see her every week? How would you feel to know you were almost 2500 miles away from her?" Derek asked seriously.
Spencer's face fell slightly, but he still managed a small smile.
"I already talked to my mom about it, actually," Spencer said as he looked at Derek. "She's the one who told me I should apply to schools out of state."
Derek gave him a look of surprise, not expecting to hear that.
Spencer sighed, somewhat wistfully.
"You're right, though, Derek. My mom… she really was the only thing keeping me in Vegas. I hated the thought of being apart from her. I thought she really needed me. But, lately, she's been doing a lot better. She's taking her medication and her doctors have given me really great evaluations of her progress," Spencer said as he smiled at Derek, although his eyes had started looking a little teary. Derek suspected that they were more tears of happiness than anything else.
"And knowing that, I felt I could finally relax a little bit," Spencer continued. "And then I had this idea… this little thought in the back of my head a few weeks after the case was over. I was tired of being afraid; tired of feeling trapped. Everything bad that had ever happened to me, had happened to me there. So I started thinking, maybe it'd be okay for me to… branch out. But I was scared about it at the same time. I had never been more than a few miles away from where I grew up. Even though my life there had been shitty at least it was familiar."
Derek watched Spencer grimace slightly, as if he had been reminded about what those 'shitty' things were, but he shook them off and continued on.
"So, even though I had that idea… well, I still felt it was just some hopeless fantasy. And when I mentioned it off-handedly to my mom during one of my visits…well, she was the one who said I should go. She told me that she hated the fact that I was staying for her. And even though I tried to deny it, she told me she knew that she was the only thing keeping me there. And when I said that I would miss her and that I cherished our time together when I could visit her, she told me that nothing would change, even if I couldn't visit as often. That she would still be able to hear about my days—or my 'adventures' as she says—if I called or wrote her. She said she wanted me to finally feel free to go out and try new things; to be happy," Spencer said, as he smiled. "And I thought… I thought maybe being here would make me happy."
Derek looked at Spencer with awe. It was as if there were unspoken words hanging in the air. As if Spencer had meant to say 'being here with you would make me happy.' Derek had never been with anyone who seemed to adore him as much as Spencer did. And while it made Derek's heart feel so full he thought it would burst, he also felt overwhelmingly anxious. As if he didn't want to disappoint Spencer. Like he didn't want Spencer to find out that he wasn't as great as the younger man thought he was.
"Spencer," Derek murmured as he reached out to hold Spencer's hand again. "Are you really sure about all this? Of course, if I could have you close by, I would want that more than you being all the way across the country. But, well…there's no guarantees here. What happens if we fight? Or, what happens if, after a few months, all the warm-and-fuzzy glow wears off and you start to see things about me that you don't like? You won't regret it then?"
Spencer blinked at Derek in surprise. It pained him that Derek thought that he would be the one that would drive Spencer away. As if Derek wanted to save Spencer from him before it was too late. Spencer suddenly realized that, while he had been worrying all this time that Derek didn't want to be with him because Derek didn't think Spencer was worth it, the truth of the matter was that Derek didn't think he was good enough for Spencer.
"Derek..." Spencer whispered as he scooted closer, moving so his hands cupped Derek's face. "Derek, I don't think I would ever think those things."
Spencer saw the way Derek's face clouded, and his eyebrows lowered, knowing that Derek was immediately going to retort with a hard dose of 'realism.' But Spencer was faster than him.
"I understand what you're saying, Derek. I'm not so naïve to think that relationships are rainbows and butterflies all the time. I know that they're hard work. And that sometimes we'll fight and won't see eye-to-eye. Sometimes we'll probably even hate each other. But the statistics show that most people still choose to be in relationships, even knowing all this. So I can only conclude that if two people are meant to be together, then the good times will often outweigh the bad. I know that it'll be hard and maybe sometimes I'll feel hurt, but I also know that I feel amazing when I'm with you. And so I want to try this. I want to take that chance with you," Spencer explained.
"Besides, I know this is still brand new. I still have time to decide when I get back to Vegas because I don't have to give any of the schools an answer until late March or early April. And when I go back, I'll spend the off-semester doing research in advance of starting my program. So… I've thought it all out. That could all be time that I can use to decide if this is what I really want. I mean, right now I really really want it. And I think I could make it work," Spencer said determinedly.
"I already know that if I were to accept any of the offers from the schools over here that I wouldn't move in with you or anything like that… A-And I'm not saying you'd offer that, either! But, even if you did, I'd find my own apartment or I'd stay on campus. I mean, I would still be a student, first and foremost. I think if I stayed here all the time I'd get too… 'distracted' by you to focus on my schoolwork," Spencer admitted with a blush.
Derek almost couldn't hold back his laughter. He had probably created a monster in Spencer Reid. The boy had come here almost two weeks ago a virgin, and now Spencer seemed to have nothing but sex on the brain. Spencer probably was right, though; he wouldn't get any work done if they lived together. Derek personally knew that he found it hard to keep himself controlled when he was around Spencer, and knew that he would probably take advantage of every opportunity to be with him if Spencer made them available. But, Derek would've agreed in any case that school should come first. He had never seen Spencer in an academic setting, but he could tell that Spencer was excited about it; almost as if it gave him great pleasure. And so he found it funny that Spencer had already decided he was going to put school before him. He wouldn't expect any less from Spencer Reid.
Smiling softly, Derek looked at Spencer. He tried to read the younger man's eyes. He knew Spencer was looking forward to this, and that Spencer seemed to think he had everything figured out. Derek wished he could throw all caution to the wind as well—and just ignore all his misgivings—but he still felt like this all seemed too good to be true. As if it was hard to believe that this could really work for them, as easily as that. He needed further reassurance from Spencer.
"I just… I just need to know you're absolutely sure before I can sign off on this. I promised… uh… someone that I wouldn't hold you back," Derek said, eyes dropping down to his lap.
Spencer's face flushed hotly at Derek's words and he wondered, 'Who has he been talking to about us?'
"S-Someone…? Like who?" Spencer asked.
"Oh, Garcia," Derek clarified.
"She knows?" Spencer asked in shock. "And, oh God, do J.J and Emily know too? Have they all known all this time?"
Derek watched as the kid's face got darker and darker as he blushed in his embarrassment.
"Wait, wait, wait," Derek said, trying to calm him down. "I have to admit, I did tell Garcia. And, well she's my best friend, kid. There's no way I could've kept that from her for too long. I needed to talk to her because I needed help with this. I didn't know what I was doing and I wanted to make sure I did my best to do right by you. And the first time I told her was only a few days ago. It was after our… you know, fight. So, I really needed some intervention there."
Spencer frowned a bit, having been reminded about the very recent argument, but tried to calm himself down.
"A-and what does she think?" he asked, as he bit his lip.
"About what?" Derek asked, confused.
Spencer blushed and sighed, as he gave Derek an exasperated look.
"You know. About this. About us," Spencer explained.
"Well, she hated it at first," Derek admitted with a shrug.
Spencer's face immediately broke into a stricken expression and Derek scrambled to clarify.
"No, no! Not because of you, kid. Garcia adores you and thinks you're the best thing since sliced-cheese. She was mad at me. Basically, she was concerned because she didn't want me to hurt you," Derek said looking at Spencer with concern. "She was really just looking out for you."
"Hurt me?" Spencer asked in confusion.
Derek then looked down, feeling slightly ashamed of himself.
"I'm sure this isn't news, based on the content of our last argument, but, I… don't have a great track record when it comes to relationships. Ah… if you can even call what I've had with the people in my past 'relationships.' And all my friends know this. They know that I run away from stuff like this, and I'm a no-strings-attached kind of guy. Or… I mean I was," Derek said as he held Spencer's eyes looking at him meaningfully. "Kid, I would never want to do something like that to you. But, Garcia, well, she knows me… or knows the guy I used to be, and she warned me not to hurt you and…not to get involved if I wasn't serious."
"So...um...are you?" Spencer asked as he looked down, blushing.
"What?" Derek asked.
"Serious?" Spencer asked softly. "You seem so… hesitant about all this, I just don't know..."
Derek paused for a moment as he looked at Spencer. It pained him that the boy still had to ask questions like that. Derek knew why that was—and that he had made it that way—but he had hoped that what he had told him earlier would have helped to give Spencer a bit more confidence. That he would get what Derek was hoping to convey. However, Derek also understood that it would be far more meaningful for Spencer to hear him say it.
"Spencer… I'm serious. I'm so serious, kid. More than anything. But I just want to give you your freedom, you know? And not make you feel like you're locked into anything. I want you to process your feelings," Derek said.
Spencer was smiling at him, although he looked perplexed.
"Derek, I have processed my feelings. I flew across the country to see you. What makes you think I want something different?" Spencer asked.
Derek looked at him curiously.
"You don't think you needed to process some 'feelings' after having sex for the first time?" Derek asked bluntly.
Spencer blushed hotly and looked away.
"Things are moving fast between us," Derek said, saving Spencer from having to speak. "And while I love everything we've done together, it really only has been a couple of days Spencer. I'm just saying that this is new and while we can do this, we have to be careful to go slow."
Spencer frowned at him, and Derek sighed as he pulled Spencer closer to him, enveloping him in his arms. It seemed Spencer believed he was still trying to run away.
"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be whatever you need me to be. Whether you want me all over you, or you want me to keep my distance, kid. I just want to do whatever will make you happy. I'd wait for you if you need to think about it. So you don't have to rush anything. You just have to feel it out, ok?"
Spencer nodded, squeezing Derek tight.
"Okay," Spencer said with a smile. "I'm fine with that. I like the way that sounds. And… well, even though I don't know if I love the fact that Garcia knew about all of this before I had even met her, I understand why you told her. I understand needing to have someone to talk to about it. We're not exactly… 'traditional.'"
Derek watched as Spencer laughed somewhat self-consciously.
"But… no one else knows right?" he asked.
Derek cringed a bit.
"Well...at this point, everyone kind of knows," Derek admitted.
Spencer's eyebrows shot up again and Derek watched as he took on the look of a tomato.
"Believe me, I did not go around running my mouth. Rossi pretty much knew what was up back when we were in Vegas. Apparently you kept on making eyes at me," Derek said as he smiled at him teasingly. "And I guess I didn't do such a great job at hiding my… 'interest' either."
Spencer blushed, but Derek could tell he had liked hearing the admission.
"And the girls...well, they only found out about it yesterday at the Bureau, although I told them to play dumb about it for the time being," Derek confessed as he watched Spencer's shocked reaction.
He knew Spencer was closest to Emily and JJ, and he wasn't quite sure how he would feel knowing that they had found out without telling them himself.
"But, hey, apparently you had been talking to them about some mystery guy you were interested in since back in Vegas!" Derek said, with his eyebrow raised, pretending to chastise Spencer, although he wasn't upset about it anymore. "It wouldn't have taken too long for profilers to put two and two together."
Spencer looked down at his hands and shrugged sheepishly.
"Yeah...I guess I could have expected that. But, I tried to be really careful, Derek. I swear. I just… Well, just like you, I needed someone to talk to," Spencer said with a pout.
Derek laughed.
"Kid, trust me, I'm really not bothered. To be honest, it was kind of Garcia who let it slip to them at first, and I guess the other pieces of the puzzle just fell into place. And, I don't resent the fact that you talked to them. The girls handed me my ass on a platter after they found out and that whole experience, well, it kind of… helped me see things from another perspective. I realized that I was too much in my own head. I was going through this struggle but I wasn't filling you in, and you were getting dragged along with me for no good reason. I realize I have to say what I'm feeling to you, or you'll never know," Derek said with a determined smile.
Spencer smiled back, eyes lighting up.
"I think that's a good idea," he said, laughing. "I know it might not be easy with me. I also let myself overthink things, and well… my mind really does go off on its own winding paths when I'm anxious about something, so sometimes it's good to hear these things. It helps to keep me grounded."
"Yeah, I've started to see that," Derek said as he pulled Spencer in close again.
He kissed him lightly on the temple and Spencer sighed softly.
"So... That's it? W-we're doing this…? Are we, like… you know? Dating?" Spencer asked, blushing, face pressed up against Derek's chest.
"Yeah," Derek said, deep voice rumbling in his chest and making Spencer tremble. "At this point, I kind of don't even think we have a choice. It's not like I'm gonna be able to just let you go after all of this. No matter what we're up against, we're gonna try to make this work."
Spencer's grin was almost uncontrollable as he looked up at Derek. Unable to help himself, Derek swooped down and caught Spencer's lips with his own. And soon Spencer let out a satisfied moan. When Derek finally pulled away, they both smiled at each other before laughing.
"That feels so good," Spencer said with a sigh of relief as Derek released his grip on him.
"You don't need to keep complimenting me on my skills, Pretty Boy," Derek said with a wink. "I know I'm good at what I do."
Spencer laughed as he blushed up to his ears.
"I meant it feels good to finally know we're really going to try to do this. A relationship, I mean," Spencer explained, giving Derek a mildly exasperated look. "But, the kiss was good too."
He then winked at Derek and Derek couldn't deny how especially sexy he found that. He suddenly couldn't wait for the next time Spencer had an opportunity to wink at him like that. He kind of liked the way 'mischievous' looked on the kid.
Laughing to himself, Spencer then turned and crouched back down to his suitcase, resuming his attempt to finish packing although seeming much happier about it now that the weight of 'what happens after I leave' was no longer hanging over his head. Derek looked down at the suitcase, still feeling somewhat bothered that it meant that Spencer was going to be getting on a plane in 24 hours. It helped that he knew that that didn't mean he'd never see or hear from Spencer again. But Derek didn't quite know when the next time he would see Spencer would be. And suddenly, Derek wasn't exactly sure that he wanted this trip to end so soon.
"Hey, kid," Derek said from behind him.
Spencer turned around with a smile still on his face, looking at Derek inquisitively.
"What're you doing for Christmas?"
Spencer blinked in confusion as he stopped what he was doing. He turned around to face Derek, sitting down on the carpet by his bag.
"Hmm...well, I don't usually celebrate Christmas. Usually I just spend it with my mom at Bennington. But every year they offer to take any of the residents who aren't able to go home with family over the Holidays on an off-site trip. This year it's the Grand Canyon, and my mom told me she signed up," Spencer said smiling softly. "So… I actually hadn't really thought about it, but I guess I'm not really doing anything for Christmas this year."
He then shrugged his shoulders as if that didn't bother him. But, Derek hadn't liked hearing that Spencer would be alone on Christmas, and it helped to solidify the impulsive thought that had suddenly jumped into his mind.
"You know I told you I'm leaving on Monday to fly out to spend Christmas with my mom and sisters. If you're not doing anything, and you don't have to be back for school reasons, why don't you just come with me?" Derek offered, smiling widely.
Spencer's eyes widened, and he stared at Derek, lips parted in surprise.
"Wh...what?" he asked.
Derek laughed.
"I'm serious. If you don't have to be back immediately, we can just change your ticket back to Vegas to about a week from now. And I'll buy you a ticket to come spend Christmas with the Morgans in Chicago. My mom goes all out with the decorations, and makes us sing Christmas carols and watch Holiday movies. She makes the best Christmas dinner and there'll be tons of desserts. And, don't worry about meeting her; she really loves meeting new people and taking care of them. It's kind of her thing. It might all be embarrassing for me, but I'm sure you'll have a good time. And, believe me, it'll give me a good reason to convince my mother that I don't have to stay at the house this year. Really, you'd be doing me a favor by coming," Derek explained, smiling.
Spencer still looked like a blowfish as he stared at Derek.
"Um…I'd be meeting your family…and your mother?" Spencer asked, trying to make sure he had heard correctly.
Derek paused, understating Spencer's hesitance.
"Well...we would have to tell her we're just friends for right now. I'm not sure she'd care either way, but I still want us to take things slow, so 'meeting my mom' as my…I guess 'boyfriend' right now, is probably something we don't want to do so soon. But… still, that's no reason why you can't come with me. You'll have a really good time, kid. I can take you around, show you where I grew up, and I'll get you all the sweets you want. It's just… it's rare that I have this much time off and suddenly I just want to spend all that time with you," Derek said, smiling sheepishly and hoping Spencer would agree.
Spencer's face burned at Derek's words, and he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Spencer had always been a crybaby when he was younger, but he had worked hard to grow out of that. But Derek… Derek was always able to so easily get his emotions all worked up. He had been the only one able to do that in years. For such a long time, Spencer had forced himself to be hardened against the influence of other people; whether they were positive or negative. He assumed everyone would disappoint him sooner or later, and had always told himself it'd be better to keep everyone far away to protect himself from the chance of getting hurt. But, with Derek, Spencer found himself allowing himself to be vulnerable. He allowed himself to feel. And, so far, he was immeasurably thankful to Derek for being able to bring that out in him. Somehow the older man had wormed himself into the smallest, darkest part of Spencer and had broken the cage around his heart.
"Derek...you...you really mean that? That that's okay…? For me to go with you and be with your family?" Spencer asked, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.
"Of course I do, kid," Derek said as he kneeled down next to Spencer, seeing that the younger man was clearly starting to get emotional.
He reached out and brought Spencer into his arms, squeezing him tight.
"I would be so happy if you'd spend Christmas with me," Derek breathed into his ear. "What do you say?"
"Okay, Derek. Okay," Spencer said, still tucked against Derek's chest. "Of course… if you're okay with me coming, I'll definitely come."
Derek pulled back and smiled down at him. He could see the obvious tears in Spencer's eyes, but he just brushed them away. He quickly pecked Spencer's lips, causing Spencer to smile too.
"Come on," Derek said as he patted Spencer on the thigh and started pulling him to his feet. "We need to make a stop before we go to dinner."
Spencer's brows furrowed in confusion.
"What for?" he asked.
"Well, if you're going to be coming with me to Chicago, I'm definitely going to need to buy you a thicker coat. Winter over there is no joke, and I don't need a Pretty Boy Popsicle," Derek teased.
Spencer laughed, as he let Derek lead him out the room and down the stairs.
"It'll be my first time going to Chicago. First time celebrating Christmas with a big family. And my first time going on a trip with my… 'boyfriend,'" Spencer said with a bright smile. "A lot of first every things… I'm looking forward to a lot more of those with you."
Liking the sound of that, all Derek could do was smile back as he kissed him.

A/N: That's all she wrote, guys! Thanks so much for all the support and for sticking with me through this whole story (parts 1 AND 2! :3). This is the 'end' of the story for Spencer and Derek in the Pretty Boy 'universe,' but I hope it gives the impression that their story really isn't over for them. And that they still have a future in front of them. And while I have no intention of extending this series, I definitely see great things for them! I hope you enjoyed their story, because I enjoyed writing it! Please let me know your thoughts!
Lastly, I rushed to get this story completed and posted because I wanted to finish it before the first day of classes. As for if there's anything 'coming up' for me, writing-wise, until I get acclimated to my schedule/demands of school, I have no idea if/when I can start a new story. But I may try to work on something if I do have some time. Please keep an ear out, in case I do! You have all been perfect and wonderful, and thank you for welcoming me so kindly in to the Criminal Minds fandom!
Until we meet again,
xoxo
- 10
- 11
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Pretty Boy: Reprise