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Undertow	By : kattanon Category: S through Z > The Shield Views: 1328 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own The Shield, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Title: - You�re Lost In Somebody Else
Author: - Katt
E-mail: - kattanon@yahoo.co.uk

Rating: - R
Series: - Undertow Part 9/?
Feedback: - Like it or loathe it let me know
Archive: - Archived at the Shield Fanfiction Archive
Disclaimers: - I don�t own any of the characters of The Shield, they all belong to Shawn Ryan and FX. The song "Away From Me" is performed by Puddle of Mudd, and written by Wes Scantlin.

You�re Lost In Somebody Else � "Throwaway"

"Look at me now

Just sitting here by myself

And I think you found someone else

Now I�m gonna have to find

A way to put the bottle down

And why can�t you see

That I�m drowning in a pool of misery
I�m always afraid

That you�re gone

Away from me

I�m always afraid

That you�re lost in somebody else

I�m always afraid

That you�re gone

Away from me

I�m always afraid

That you�re lost."

Looking around the smoky bar Vic wondered what time it was and yet couldn�t be bothered to glance down at his watch. He didn�t want to feel obliged to go home. He didn�t want to have to face Corrine�s coldness again. So instead he drained the last of his beer and signaled for the barman to put another bottle in front of him. Gazing at the bottle he slowly ran one finger up along its side feeling the condensation there running down over his skin, the glass icy cold under his touch. A long pull on the bottle meant the slight buzz in his head increased a little, but it didn�t stop the feelings that were churning away inside him.
His home life was falling apart. It was getting so that he didn�t want to go home sometimes. He didn�t want to face Corrine�s complaints, her disappointment. He knew she had it hard, but he had his team to look after too, a job to do. As far as she knew all the overtime he did was paying for Matthew�s specialized schooling, and yet she moaned about it. He thought she�d understand and cut him some slack, but obviously not.
Then there was Dutch. That night in the bathroom Vic had thought that something had sparked between them. An unspoken understanding that their relationship with each other was about to change, to become something more. Seems he was wrong about that too.

"So here I am

I don�t wanna be by myself

And I think you�re fucking somebody else

Now I�m gonna have to find a way

To take the knife out of my back

And how could you leave me

Stranded in a closet full of bones
I�m always afraid

That you�re gone

Away from me

I�m always afraid

That you�re lost in somebody else

I�m always afraid

That you�re gone

Away from me

I�m always afraid

That you�re lost."

He�d been watching Cucusa, trying to see an opportunity to grab the gun they�d planted on Chaco, when he�d seen the dark-haired woman in the bright pink top. More importantly he�d seen Dutch with her. Holding her, kissing her, smiling and laughing. She�d been practically hanging off him and Vic had wanted to storm over there and pull her off, tell her to get lost, leave Dutch alone. Shit, Vic felt so stupid. While he�d been waiting, giving Dutch some space, Dutch had gone out and gotten himself hooked up with some woman. The jealousy that Vic had felt had made him sick to the stomach. He�d had to quickly stifle the pain though as he�d had yet another fuck up to sort out, and a banger impersonation to perfect.
He�d really thought that Dutch had understood, that Dutch would wait until the time was right for them to act on their feelings. Instead Dutch had forgotten all about him and had gone out and gotten himself laid. Vic felt that sick feeling in the pit of his stomach again, just like he�d felt when he�d been watching them together. He took another drink washing away the faint sting of bile in the back of his throat.
It felt like a betrayal, but was he just kidding himself? Maybe he�d imagined everything that time in the bathroom? Maybe it had been a case of wishful thinking? He�d thought he�d reached out to Dutch, initiated a relationship with him, but perhaps all Dutch had seen was an overture towards friendship.
No, Vic shook his head trying to clear it. He hadn�t misconstrued anything that night. He could remember the look of longing in Dutch�s eyes, the clumsily stuttered out invitation. The way Dutch hadn�t pulled away when Vic had held his wrist, and most importantly the feeling of Dutch�s finger�s ghosting over his palm, making him shiver, and the way Dutch had squeezed his fingertips before stepping away. So why was Dutch behaving as if there was nothing between them?

"Maybe you could let me stay

Maybe just for one more day

You could help me stay the same

Maybe things won�t ever change

Maybe we could taste the rain

You could push me out the way
Now I sit here by myself

Think about somebody else

How could you let them take you away from me?

There�s somebody else

There�s somebody else."

With a sigh Vic finally gave in and looked down at his watch, 1:30 am time he made a move. He wondered if maybe he should give Danny a call, see if he could talk her around into letting him come around and fuck her. Shaking his head he knew he was on his own, Danny wanted a break from things, from him, and he could imagine the silence on the other end of the phone if he called. Beside he couldn�t fool himself, it wasn�t Danny he wanted. That knowledge just made Vic feel even more alone.
At least he didn�t have to waste his time wondering what Dutch was doing. Screwing his new love interest no doubt. The image of Dutch with the dark haired woman Vic had seen earlier made Vic�s heart clench. That feeling of betrayal welling up inside of him again.
Drinking the last of his beer Vic threw some bills on the bar and slowly made his way out into the cold night air knowing he had to go home. Home to a cold bed, a stony silence and a back resolutely turned towards him.

"I�m always afraid

That you�re gone

Away from me

I�m always afraid

That you�re lost in somebody else

I�m always afraid

That you�re gone

Away from me

I�m always afraid

That you�re�
I�m always afraid

I�m always afraid
Away from me."
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Undertow