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Home Unknown	By : katecooley Category: S through Z > Xena Views: 15190 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Xena, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
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- 13
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Same junk as before. See part one for all the jargon. For all of you patient little pups, we�re getting much closer now. *singing*  Someone�s gonna get it� 
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Part XII � Keeping It In the Family

"Go away."
"Oh, come on! Let me in!"
"Are you deaf as well as blond? I said get lost."

Aphrodite frowned and pushed open the door anyway. "I can help."
"I don�t want help. Go Away." Eris slammed it closed again, even more firmly this time.
"You should�ve come to me in the first place, Rissy. I can�t believe you took this to ol� Dark and Deluded, like he�s gonna be any help at all. He can�t even do for himself and you�re gonna let him tell you what�s what?" The Love Goddess sniffed her disdain at the mere thought of Ares offering love advice.
Eris mulled that one over. Ares was her twin and wasn�t out to steer her wrong, but this wasn�t his area of expertise, such as it was. They�d spent a long night discussing� things. He didn�t trust the House of Intellect and had told her as much, warning her about getting hurt and not letting them get the upper hand. And he was right, sort of. She didn�t want to let anyone stomp all over her heart and she didn�t want anyone using her feelings to get an advantage.
She also didn�t want that ache inside her anymore. Being lonely sucked. And Hermes was so nice� Nice was hard to come by as the Goddess of Discord. No one treated her nicely or looked at her like that, with big lovely eyes� Maybe letting her sister help a little wouldn�t hurt. She cast a look back at Ares, still asleep on his pallet of furs. "Well, bro, you did your part. Let�s hope Blondie can do some good, too."
Quietly, she slipped out of the door, leaving her brother to sleep on through. This little skirmish was taking a lot out of him and she�d seen some cracks in the armor last night. He�d almost admitted something to her and she cursed his tough hide for not letting it out. Maybe Dite could help him a little, too.
The Goddess of Love stood there waiting just outside the door, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently. "So�?"
"So� what�s this big idea you have?"
Instead of squealing and bouncing, as Eris would have expected, Aphrodite only smirked. "Wanna make Arry�s ass unclench?"
A wide grin spread out, both wicked and welcome. The last time they�d gotten together, he�d woken up with pigtails and toenail polish. "Go on."
Aphrodite motioned for her sister to follow her away from the encampment Ares had set up for them outside the battle area. The second step Eris took found her dressed in her usual armored gear. No sense in letting the guard down that far.
"You know and I know that the guys in this family are� well� a touch single-minded." Aphrodite grumped a little. That was an understatement if there ever was one. But it suited the situation, so� "They get to thinking one way and nothing short of a lightning bolt to the back of the head will make them even consider any other options."
"Yeah, no kidding. I thought Arry�d never shut up about the Hall of Intellect tonight." Eris sighed and rolled her eyes. "I know he�s my brother and he looks out for me and junk, but after the first half-hour, I wanted to cram something in his mouth just to shut him up!"

"What if I have something guaranteed to do the job?" The smug look only made her sister shift her weight on her feet as she started to get a little antsy.
"Like what?"
"Like this�" Aphrodite squinched her face up and sent a few hard and tasty images to her sister. It was just easier that way. Some of them were just of Joxer, some of Joxer thinking about Ares, some of Ares thinking about Joxer, and some from her vivid imagination, a little wishful thinking in the key of sex. When she opened her eyes again, she could see that Discord looked a little flushed and a little sly as well.
"And how exactly do you propose to do this, since they�re both pitiful?"
"See, now that�s the trick. I kinda promised Arry I wouldn�t butt in. Cupey, too."
"Great." Eris snorted and felt like kicking something. Or someone. If Aphrodite wasn�t offering her help, she�d have a prime candidate for it, too.
"Hey, I�m not the Head of the House of Love just �cause I look good in the get-up, which I do. It�s gonna take some doing and I�m calling in the reinforcements, but it�s not gonna be too hard. They�re already loopy for each other. They just need a chance to figure it out. Meanwhile, you get ready to be romanced right out of your boots." Eris� skeptical look made her beam � as doubtful as she seemed, there was a spark of faith growing in there. Somewhere. The Love Goddess found yet another happy possibility waiting and she almost glowed with it. "Hey, maybe I can even pull off a hat-trick!"
Eris was left standing there in befuddlement, the feeling of a familiar form hugging her before leaving in a flash of sparkles and rose petals. House of Love was so weird.
***
"OUT!"
Her parentage showed in her pout, the petite brunette folding her arms over her ample chest in anger. It was typical. Just when things were starting to get good, someone had to come and roust her. Again. "Oh, come on, Strife. I only just got here. Don�t make me go yet."
"Nuh-uh. No can do. I gotta collect the rest of these mutts and hustle �em over to Aunt Dite�s an� she�ll snatch me bald BEFORE she kicks my ass if she even thinks she sees one scrap of you up here." Strife didn�t quite yank her up from her seat, but he did offer a guiding hand, knowing better than to leave a mark on the youngest of them. "Back to Gaea wit�cha."
"What does Mama need you all for? And why not me? I can help, too! I am still a goddess you know!"
"Yeah, I know an� as much as I�d like ya ta stay, ya can�t. These ain�t my rules, y�know. Unc�d skin my ass if he knew you were on Olympus."
"Oh, please, Daddy�s a pussycat," the young goddess scoffed. "I can handle him."
"Shyeah, I like to think that, too" Strife snickered as he escorted her out of their private room into the less-secluded but almost equally unobtrusive closet that led to it. He didn�t want anyone tracing her signature into the room proper and a closet full of cleaning things would throw them off the scent. No sense in having a room to themselves if everyone in creation was traipsing through it. "I also like ta think I�m too old ta get my butt blistered in front of a crowded Athenian market square. Let�s not prove me wrong, huh?"
"He wouldn�t�"
"Oh, trust me. He has and he would again." Strife left out that they�d been under a glamour that kept their identities secret, but the memory still burned hot on all four cheeks. He took his cousin�s hands in his and made her look him in the eye. "Lissen, Harm, I know it don�t seem fair, but they got their reasons fer this. I�m sure part of it is plans fer the future, but� Olympus ain�t that nice a place sometimes. They�re only lookin� out for ya."
"But you guys got to stay." Her pleas were becoming watery and Strife knew it had less to do with a tantrum than with being separated from the rest of the sibs. It had to be a miserable existence, great-great-grandmother notwithstanding.
"So you know I know what I�m talkin� about." Watching tears build up in his youngest cousin�s eyes made him feel awful and he did genuinely like having her around, but rules were rules. Harmonia, the Goddess of Infatuation and Platonic Love, was studying with the Earth Goddess until she was strong enough to handle her position, something very few gods ever got the chance to do. Ares and Aphrodite had arranged for their one daughter to spend time away from the back-biting and bullshit of Olympus proper and that�s where she needed to be. It was hard, though, to not have her there. It was doubly hard for her to be away from everyone, even if spending time with a doting, loving elder goddess was the alternative.
"Strifey, please�" and his arms were full of her as she started to sob.
"Aw, come on! Don�t cry on me. Yer gonna warp the leather." He patted her back and smoothed her dark hair, wishing he knew more about turning off the waterworks than he did. "I promise, kiddo, I�ll come visit real soon. Tell Nana to get the cookie dough ready, I�m gonna scarf �til I puke."
It took a minute or two, but eventually Harmonia�s weeping dwindled down to sniffles. Strife made a hanky appear and let her blot her face dry, smiling crookedly when she blew her nose like a cherub�s untuned trumpet. She was an OK girl.
"It�ll get bettah, I swear. Nana says yer doin� real good an� it won�t be long before yer up here wreakin� havoc with the rest of us." Strife squeezed her shoulder, happy when she nodded. "You bettah�" Another nod, sad this time. "I gotta go tell the other chuckleheads to keep mum aboutcha bein� here. I hadda lie to Cupey an� tell him you was still topside. I don�t need him kickin� my ass either. You, uh, need me to�?" he twiddled his fingers in the air, ready to send her down with a flash of power.
"Uh-uh. I really need to practice doing that on my own." She stood back from him and a look of fierce concentration took over her young face and she began muttering to herself. "Kitchen nook kitchen nook kitchen nook kitchen nook�" Slowly, she started to sparkle and dissolve, her form moving through the aether. Strife watched her go, remembering his own adventures while learning all the tricks of the trade. When she was completely gone, Strife snorted and turned, planning out how he would separate Deimos and Phobos this time, the sound of their roughhousing loud even through the secret door.
Invisible fingers traced up his spine just before he opened the door, making him shiver. His cousin�s voice echoed through the space she was passing through. "Don�t worry about Cupid. He�s a pushover�" Strife spared a sniff of a laugh before heading in, missing the last part of his cousin�s sentiment, "for you, anyway."
***
"So, what�s the dish, delish?"
Aphrodite gently tugged some of her nephew�s dark curls as she passed him to take a seat on the comfy looking lounge in her sitting room, which was far less formal than the already-informal main receiving room in her home temple.
"I�m stuck."
"Hey, y�know, a little warm oil in the right place should� OOF!" A pillow to the face cut Strife off, origin unknown. He narrowed his eyes playfully at the assembled brothers, all of whom giggled mischievously. Damn, I can�t kill them if they keep feeding me like that�
"I mean it, scamp. I need you kids to help out."
"Ah, scuse me Moms, but, um, House of War?" Deimos jerked his thumb to his twin and himself and Phobos� teeth snapped at it playfully. "This really ain�t our area of interest."
"Ah, scuse me, SON, but you�re half Love. And this is about your father so you can damn well help if I ask," The Love Goddess sent him a sharp look. No surprise that one of them would try to beg off.
"Ma, please don�t say it," Cupid groaned, knowing exactly where this was going. "You know he doesn�t want us getting involved."
"Right. He doesn�t want US involved. He never said anything about THEM." She nodded in the direction of his brothers and cousin. "I can�t just let this go. I can�t. It�s not in me to let the two of them be big dopes for the rest of their lives. I HAVE to do something. It�s never been this close to happening and I don�t know when it ever will again. If we don�t act now�"
Cupid shifted in his seat, keeping half of an ear out for any movement in Bliss� vicinity, making sure that the nap in progress was still happening. He wanted to help Ares in the worst way, but he�d promised and wasn�t about to break his word just to get the job done. Of course, the others hadn�t promised anything, so this really wasn�t interfering, was it?
He looked to his silent brother. Anteros was thinking this over, the wrinkle on his forehead telling that much. As the God of Unnatural Creatures, he was an unbiased party, sort of. He�d gotten a neutral godhood out of deference to his parents, who wanted to keep things balanced, so he wasn�t pulled in either direction. His wings fluttered behind him, twitching with silent thought.
"He�s going to smell us all over this, you know." The redhead finally spoke up, his soothing, smooth voice almost reassuring.
"Yeah, but it won�t be as bad as if it were Cupie and me. If we do it, he�ll think we cooked up the whole mess and then he�ll be hurt and Joxie�ll be hurt and Zeus only knows how long it�ll take to get things fixed after that."
"But you did cook this up."
"Don�t kill me with logic, muffin. Besides, it�s not that complicated. I just need someone to talk to Hermes, someone to prod Ares a little and then someone to�" She looked to Strife with such fond eyes bearing a naughty sparkle, "mess things up just a little."
"Yer singin� my song, Aunt Dite." He threw her a wink to let her know he was in.
"We are gonna be in SOOOO much trouble," Phobos giggled, nudging his twin beside him.
"Tell me something I don�t know." Deimos nudged him back, making him fall off the cushion he was sitting on. "Count us in. What�s Hermes got to do with this anyhow?"
"Oh, not much. He just needs a little push in the right direction. Namely your Auntie Eris."
"Yer settin� up MY MOM?" A sputtering laugh made Strife shake with glee. "She know anything about this?"
"Actually, yes, she does. And she�s OK with it, as long as we don�t force anything to happen. Why Ares can�t be that reasonable is beyond me." Dite shook her head and rolled her eyes.
Slowly, eyes turned to the lone carrottop in the room, who was still pondering. "I suppose� Dad wouldn�t think me involved in something like this. I could probably handle him without his realizing he was being handled." Serious eyes turned to his mother. "If he figures this out, we�re all in for it."
"I�ll try and come up with some kind of contingency plan just in case. But Ares isn�t nearly as crafty as he likes to think sometimes." Aphrodite crossed her arms and smiled smugly, a dangerous sight to behold. "Besides, we�re not interfering. We�re helping. And he can�t really be that mad at us, anyway. We mean well."
"Now there�s some famous last words," a mumble passed between the twins before they flashed away in a mix of red and black.
"All this mess for a mortal," Anteros grinned and shook his head. "But it�ll be nice to see Dad happy. I guess this Joxer fellow can�t be so bad, can he?" A sedate ripple of the air around him and the ebony-winged god disappeared.
"Yeah, not so bad," Strife chuckled, making his uncle�s empty goblet appear in his hand.
"And not so mortal." He cast a look to his aunt and cousin, feeling their eyes widen at the sight of it. "I�m tellin� ya, that boy is a natural."
-tbc-
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- 13
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