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By Any Other Name	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 2533 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I in no way own The Big Valley, the characters or situations from the show. I make no money from writing this, just the personal satisfaction of (hopefully!) entertaining those who love the show as much as I do.

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Heather stood, leaning on the fence as she watched the bay stallion run around the corral. She watched the sunlight flash off the rippling muscles under the glossy coat and sighed. She didn’t know what to do. Victoria Barkley had been gracious and pleasant over the past two days, but Heather knew her mere presence made the other woman uncomfortable. Not that Heather could blame her; not many women would endure having the proof of their husband’s affair live under the same roof and Heather had a great deal of respect for the older woman for even tolerating her husband’s illegitimate daughter.

Nick and his wife had been more than welcoming and the thought of the tall, brash cowboy made her smile. He was a brother anyone could be proud of. Her eyes welled up at that thought. Anyone would be proud to have a brother like Jarrod as well; anyone but her, that was. She’d give anything to erase that fact, to wake up from the horrible nightmare and find herself wrapped in her beloved’s arms, to feel his breath against her cheek and his hands on her body, to join with him in ecstasy as he entered her and took her to unimaginable heights. And it wasn’t just the sex, it was the long hours of talking about anything and everything, the way her heart fluttered at that dashing smile and those incredible blue eyes, the way he made her feel just knowing how much he cared for and desired her.

Heather angrily wiped away a tear. It’s just not fair! she yelled silently at the world around her. If her mother had only told her; everyone in the valley knew the Barkleys, was it so inconceivable that she might one day meet one of her brothers? That a young, beautiful woman might be attracted to a handsome, eligible man? Damn you, Mama, and damn you, Tom Barkley! she cursed silently. And damn anyone else who knew!

Heather put her head on her arms and wept. She didn’t know how much longer she could take being around Jarrod, feeling the way she felt. She had hoped the knowledge he was her brother would dampen some of the flames, but her passion for him burned as brightly as it ever did. She knew he was feeling it, too; it was impossible for her not to notice the sadness and longing that he tried to disguise whenever he looked at her, emotions she was sure were reflected back. Heather knew Jarrod was also drinking too much and she certainly couldn’t blame him.

She had to leave, Heather told herself, for Jarrod’s sake if not for her own. The situation was tearing both of them apart and Heather also regretted the pain she was causing Jarrod’s mother. It wasn’t hard to see how much Victoria’s sons loved and respected her. Even though Heather was angry at her, she still loved her own mama and wouldn’t want anyone to inflict that sort of sorrow on her. It wasn’t right that she should intrude on what was such a happy family.

Tonight, she told herself, after everyone’s asleep. Heather blinked back another tear, knowing she was running away again but she couldn’t think of any other solution.

*

Jarrod walked into the shadowed barn, thinking maybe he’d take a ride and try to get his mind off things since he couldn’t sleep anyway. Hearing sobbing, he followed the sounds until he came upon Heather leaning against the wall, crying like her heart was breaking. And it probably was, he reflected, if his own was any indication. He also saw the saddled horse beside her.

“Heather?” he said softly, placing a hand on her back. She turned and flung herself into his arms and he held her tightly.

“I can’t do this, Jarrod,” she sobbed. “I can’t be around you, knowing we can never be together, knowing the only thing you can ever be to me is my brother.” With heartbreak in her voice, she admitted, “I was going to leave. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Jarrod stroked her hair as he fought back tears of his own. “I know, baby, I know.”

Heather lifted her tear-streaked face and Jarrod gently kissed the wetness off her cheeks. The kisses didn’t stay gentle for long, the passion they’d been fighting overtook them as Jarrod’s lips found Heather’s, plundering them ruthlessly as he lifted her skirts and she fumbled with the buttons of his pants. Up against the wall, their coupling was frantic, almost desperate and when they collapsed onto the floor after their climax, Jarrod continued to hold Heather close.

“I can’t stay, Jarrod,” she said softly, “not like this.”

“I know,” he whispered, burrowing his face in her silky hair. It was wrong, what they’d just done, but he would never truly think of her as his sister, that accident of fate that made a mockery of everything they shared and meant to each other. “If only we’d never found that damn letter.” Jarrod held her tightly, and as he took solace in the comfort of her body next to his, Jarrod knew he couldn’t let her go. “I need you, Heather,” he whispered. “I can’t let you go. Even if it means we have to leave here, I need to be with you. As long as that’s what you want, too.”

Heather was silent and Jarrod’s heart constricted painfully. He wouldn’t blame her if she couldn’t continue their relationship. If that happened, he’d just have to find a way to go on alone, love ripped away from him once again.

“I can’t ask you to leave your family for me,” she protested, not moving out of the circle of his arms.

“You’re not asking, I’m offering,” he corrected. “And it wouldn’t be just for you; don’t you think I’d get something out of it, too?” He lifted her chin with a finger and met her eyes.

Heather gave him a soft smile. “I love you, Jarrod. It would be different if we’d met knowing we shared a father, or if we’d grown up together, but we didn’t.”

Jarrod leaned in and kissed her tenderly. “Does that mean you’ll still marry me, Heather Thomson?”

Heather nodded. “Yes, Jarrod Barkley, it does.”

*

Nick turned away from the window after watching Jarrod and Heather make their way back into the house, arms close around each other. He slid back into bed beside his wife and the dark rancher’s mind travelled to what he’d just seen. He’d gotten up to check on a mare that was close to foaling and when he entered the barn, he saw them. He’d been frozen in shock, the looks and body language he’d seen between Jarrod and Heather suddenly making sense.

Heather was the woman Jarrod had been seeing, the woman who finally made his brother happy after the sudden loss of his wife over a year before. Nick hadn’t made a sound and quickly slipped out of the barn, going back to his room and staring out the window, trying to come to terms with the revelation.

It was just plain wrong, his mind told him. Heather was their sister, dammit, and a man just didn’t do things like that with his sister. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and the woman beside him stirred. Nick paused, wondering if Carrie was going to wake up, but she just snuggled close to his side and her breathing grew deep and even.

The disturbing thought hit him out of the blue. What if it had been her? What if it had been Carrie that they found out was their father’s illegitimate daughter? Could he give her up if he suddenly found out he was her brother?

He softly brushed the silky brown hair that lay across her shoulder. His mind told him he could never continue the relationship in that situation, but his heart told him otherwise. Carrie was a part of his soul and he knew deep down he would never give her up, no matter what secrets came to light. If Jarrod and Heather’s love came even close to that intensity, he couldn’t condemn his brother for feeling the same way. Nick drew his wife even closer, but was unable to sleep, knowing the havoc that would be released on his family with the coming of dawn.

*

The tension around the breakfast table was an almost tangible thing and Victoria wondered what was going on. Both Jarrod and Heather seemed more relaxed and more on edge at the same time. Nick steadfastly studied his plate and Carrie reached over from time to time to put a reassuring hand on his arm. About to demand some answers, Victoria was prevented from speaking when Jarrod abruptly rose to his feet.

“If you don’t mind,” he said in a steady baritone, “I’d like everyone to join me in the library. There is something very important that I, and Heather, need to tell you.”

Nick locked his eyes with Jarrod’s and nodded slowly as Carrie gave an encouraging smile. Victoria carefully set down her napkin. A feeling of dread took up residence in the pit of her stomach as she stood. “Of course, dear.”

Jarrod offered Heather his arm and the rest of the family followed them to the library. Victoria’s uneasy feeling intensified as Jarrod led Heather over to the fireplace and drew her next him with an arm around her waist.

“Just before we found that letter,” he said, looking at each of them before turning his gaze on the woman beside him, “I asked Heather to marry me and she said yes.” Jarrod looked back at his family, defiance obvious in every part of him. “I love her,” he told them bluntly. “Father made a stupid mistake and we’re all paying for it in one way or another, but Heather and I aren’t going to pay for it with our happiness.”

Victoria stared at them in shock. She couldn’t speak as she watched Nick go up to his brother, clap him on the shoulder and shake his hand. “You deserve to be happy, Jarrod. You, too, Heather.” She could barely take in the stunned and relieved expressions on Jarrod and Heather’s faces as Carrie embraced them both.

“Nick knew, and we talked this morning,” Nick’s wife said. “I don’t know if I completely agree, but fortunately I’m not in your situation, so I can’t actually say what I would do. I can’t condemn someone unless I’ve been in their shoes.”

Tears were evident on both faces as Jarrod pulled Heather closer. “Thank you, both of you. You can’t know what this means to us,” he said. They all then looked to Victoria.

The silver-haired matriarch was aghast. “Jarrod, she’s your father’s daughter, for God’s sake! I know we offered her a place in this family, but this…” She shook her head vehemently. “You have to know how wrong this is! You have to know I can never accept this!”

“Mother, Jarrod and Heather were engaged before he found out who she was!” Nick defended his brother. “You can’t just turn off feelings like that!”

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t mean he has to act on them!” she argued vehemently. “It’s wrong, morally, legally and ethically and I can’t condone it!” Victoria’s voice broke as she surged to her feet. Nick moved to comfort her, but she pushed him away. “You’re not the man I thought I raised, Jarrod. I never thought I’d ever be ashamed of any of my children, but now…” She picked up her skirt and fled to the sanctuary of her room.

*

Victoria sat in her room, head in her hands. Life must be playing a cruel joke on her, she told herself. There was no way her morally upright, principled son could be thinking of marrying his sister. It was wrong, it was against the laws of God and man and she couldn’t understand it. No, they hadn’t known at the beginning, but how could someone even be attracted to their sibling in the first place? Surely Fate wasn’t that cruel. She heard a soft tap on the door but didn’t acknowledge it. She heard the soft footsteps and eventually looked up as a fragrant cup of tea was set in front of her.

“I thought you could use this, Missus Barkley,” said her long-time friend.

“Thank you, Silas.”

Silas stood for a moment as Victoria stared unseeing at the cup. “I can’t help but know what’s been going on with Mr. Jarrod and Miss Heather,” he started. “I know it’s not my place to interfere, but I’m here for you if you need a friendly ear.”

Victoria smiled wanly. “Of course it’s your place, my friend,” she told him, “but I don’t really know what to say.”

Silas pulled out the stool from the vanity and sat beside her. “Before I was a free man,” he started, “I worked cleaning and cooking in my master’s house. There were lots of us there, working in the fields, in the house, in the barn. Slaves changed hands all the time and it wasn’t unusual for someone to have two or three different masters. They had no problem with selling off families piecemeal, mothers, fathers, even young’uns.”

He shook his head. “It was hard to form attachments, never knowing how long you’d have, but folks still did.” Silas looked up at her. “One never knew who was kin and who wasn’t, you just had to trust in the goodness of God, just like our two young folks did. But sometimes you found out differently.” He put his weathered brown hand on her small white one. “I could never believe that He would let something like that happen, only to condemn it later. No, sir, I don’t believe He would do something like that at all. If you ask me, I don’t think that letter of Mr. Tom’s was ever meant to be found.”

Silas patted Victoria’s hand before he got up and exited the room as quietly as he had entered, leaving Victoria alone with her thoughts.
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By Any Other Name