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The Devil You Know	By : SisterWine Category: G through L > Law & Order Views: 3165 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Devil You Know
- 2-Two
- 3-Three
- 4-Four
- 5-Five
- 6-Part 6
- 7-Seven
- 8-Eight
- 9-Nine
- 10-Ten
- 11-Eleven
- 12-Twelve
- 13-Alternate Scene
- 14-Alternate Ending 2
- 11
- 12
- 13
It took the jury less than two hours to deliver a guilty verdict. Jake received 15 years, after a plea deal and Justin received 25 with possibility of parole after 10. Justin only glared at the jury for not seeing his point of view as to the justification of his family's loss. Though, Jake seemed more interested in the young man that sat in the back of the court room and stared blankly forward. As both men were lead away in handcuffs, Jake turned around and yelled to the back of the room, "Erik, I'm sorry. You know I love you. I'd never let anything happen to you. Please!"
Erik waited for the court room to empty, sending his father and brother on ahead to deal with the crowd and ready the car for a quick exit, and the reporters to be busy with the lawyers before he made a move to leave. He waited for what seemed an hour but was only 15 minutes and shoved himself to his feet, gathering his strength to open the door and make his way into the hallway. He had thought he made a clear break as most of the reporters were busy checking back with their presses or had left to rush their story first. What Erik hadn't counted on were the stragglers who wanted to get his comment. Turning to the left and taking a step towards the lifts, he was surrounded by microphones and flashing bulbs as a handful of men and women reporters pushed and shoved to get directly in front of him.
"Mister Matthews, how do you feel knowing you were the target and not Aaron Jasper?" One eager man in his mid-forties with a brown suit and bad comb-over asked from beside an oriental woman in back what was lucky to get right in front of Erik's face, her cameraman shining his light brightly on Erik's reaction.
Erik didn't answer and only continued walking forward, forcing the group to walk backwards.
The Oriental woman with a polished American accent adjusted her microphone and blinked several times at Erik before she asked her question. "Mister Matthews, how do you feel about your lover using your lifestyle and home to cover up his affair with two other men? Will you press charges against Mister Martinelli for your rape?" They shared eye contact for a moment before Erik was grabbed ahold of, from behind him, by Detective Stabler and led to the Men's Room and offered escape as he and two uniformed officers blocked the door and ordered the reporters to disperse after issuing a "no comment" for the shaken young man.
Erik stood in the middle of the cold and empty restroom and stared at his surroundings. He could hear the commotion outside as his heart pound in his chest. His stomach lurched and Erik made his way to the middle stall and closed and the door behind him. Resting against the wall between his stall and the last one, Erik placed a hand over his mouth and closed his eyes, holding his breath as the door opened and footsteps made their way casually inside.
The footsteps came to a stop at the second sink in the row of four and turned to face the stalls. The man said nothing, only waited patiently for Erik to come out.
Erik gasped from behind his hand. His breaths came in hushed, short pants as heavy tears dropped from his closed eyes. He wanted to scream, to cry, to kick and throw something but the voice in the back of his mind told him no. Soft, short gasps halted when a light tapping came from the other side of the stall door.
"Erik?" Elliot's voice was low and soft.
It took a full minute before the door opened slowly and Erik stepped out and fell against Elliot's chest, letting the tears flow freely, sobbing against the detective's broad chest. Erik wrapped his arms tightly around the detective and felt Elliot reciprocate, letting the younger man cry. His body shook, uncontrollably, and he felt himself slipping downward but he was being held up by Elliot. Elliot's cologne filtered into his senses and smelled soft and sweet. Resting his head on Elliot's left shoulder, the sobs subsided and he panted as crying gave him shortness of breath. He held on for a few minutes more, until he composed himself well enough not to break down at the sight of Detective Stabler.
Elliot didn't move to pull away, only rubbed Erik's back and waited for the sobbing to stop.
Erik was the first to pull away and wipe his eyes, turning his back to the detective. "Thank you, Detective. I'll be fine."
Clearing his throat and opening his mouth to speak, Elliot paused. He could tell Erik wasn't in the mood for listening to pillow talk, from a married detective, in a men's room. He thought for a moment and then turned to glance back at the door. "Your uh, your dad is waiting downstairs. I'll uh, escort you to the elevator. Keep the hounds off you."
Erik said nothing, only nodded and swallowed.
**********
Elliot sat at his desk. His elbows rested on several folders of other cases that needed attention while his hands curled in front of his mouth. He stared at Benson's empty seatback. Sighing, he unfolded his position and sat back. His ears replayed the sounds of deep pained sobs, his arms feeling the frail, young man shake, uncontrollably, in his arms.
"El, go home." Olivia moved from behind his chair to stand at her own and put her desk in order before turning off the desklamp and calling it a night. She had been standing behind him for a good five minutes before finally clearing her throat and moving to get his attention. The squad room was dark, save for a few desks that had their personal lights on. The room darkened a bit more as she reached up and turned her small light off. She paused and looked up as he hadn't moved. "Something wrong?"
It had been a long week for all of them working to catch a child rapist who sadistically took ad-related photos of his victims before murdering them and leaving them in bad parts of town. The second victim had been a small girl, fighting her way through Leukemia. Elliot had beaten himself up harder as he saw the word in the medical examiner's report. That one little word had been successful in getting Elliot's thoughts rolling back to young man whose world came crashing down in a matter of four years with a devastating ending.
Raising his head and taking a breath, releasing himself from his deep thoughts, Elliot shook his head. "No, just thinking. I've gotta finish this paper work for a deposition, Friday. I'll see you tomorrow." Clearing his throat and looking down at the files on his desk, he was hoping to brush past the week of no word from Erik Matthews and get back to his job.
Olivia watched him for a minute. "Everything okay with you and Cathy?"
"Yea, we're fine. Just, paperwork. Go home. Get some rest." Elliot opened the folder in front of him and picked up his pen. He heard her tell him "good night" and gave an affirmative hum, back but waited for the ding of the lift and the door to open and close before he sighed forced himself to concentrate on his work. It was already nine o'clock and the three reports to be typed would take him nearly two hours to complete and place in the OUT folder slot of his sorter.
Making it home and in his empty bed by 1:30, Elliot lie on his back and stared at the ceiling. His mind wandered back to the night they were called to Matthews' address and how the young man had looked being carried out, on a gurney and loaded into an ambulance. He hadn't known the trauma Erik had been through, or meeting Captain Anders, who stood at the window and stared at his long estranged son. He wondered about his own children, sons inparticular, and how he might react if one or both of them ever came to him and told him they were homosexual. Would he react as the retired captain had? He hoped not but he knew his faith would not let him agree to that lifestyle.
He huffed and rolled onto his left side, curling his arm under the pillow and snuggling deeper into the mattress before closing his eyes and forcing himself to sleep. With a ragged exhale and movement of his right hand, in front of him, on the cold mattress, he opened his eyes and stared out the window, watching the rain drizzle down the glass. He lay there for what seemed like hours until he finally drifted off to sleep but it was a restless sleep.
***********
Erik sat on the bench and stared out at the small lake with an upward spraying fountain, in the middle of it. He had been staring at it for most of the afternoon and listened to birds that chirped and flew overhead. His eyes closed and his head tilted back to feel the cool breeze on his face. Footsteps on the pavement caught his attention and he opened his eyes and turned to see the man standing at the end of the bench. With a sigh, he spoke. "The trial's over, Detective Stabler. This is borderline harassment, you know."
Elliot nodded. "Call it a follow up." He smiled and added, "Captain Anders told me you might be here."
Erik gave a small smile and shook his head. He turned back to look at the fountain that sprayed water upwards and eventually bent back to fall like rain into the lake. "Nothing to do on a Saturday, either?" He patted the seat between them in an invitation for Elliot to sit down. He waited for the man to sit down before speaking again. "Beautiful. Isn't it? I come here to think, sometimes. I like the quiet." His business suit had been replaced by loose blue jeans, a white button up shirt and a black suede jacket that was zipped most of the way. Gray sneakers and white socks kept his feet warm, even though, it was beginning to warm up as Spring was around the corner.
Sitting next to the young man, Elliot noticed a change in Erik's demeanour; more peaceful and relaxed as opposed to his tension of court. "You seem more relaxed than you have been."
"The trial is over. Jake and that man are where they need to be." Erik paused again. "I mailed a letter of apology to Aaron Jasper's family, today. I didn't have the heart to approach them, during the trial. I told them I was sorry he became trapped in the middle of this. I also told them how sorry I was for their loss."
Nodding, Elliot stared at the fountain. "That was nice. I'm sure they appreciate it."
"Pop said they tried to speak to me, a few times but those were the days things got heated, in court. He thought it best to intervene." Erik focused on the water spout and forced himself to listen to the sound of rushing water. He shivered and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. Remembering someone was sitting next to him, he glanced over at Elliot and grinned. "You can't tell me you gave up a Saturday just to keep me company, on a park bench."
Elliot took a long breath before looking over and smiling back at Erik. "Just a...... long week." There was a long silence between them as they both sat and watched the water in the fountain rise and fall. "I uh, I was also wondering if we could talk?" He squinted as he glanced back over to the man beside him. The afternoon sun shone brightly and he hadn't thought about bringing his sunglasses as the clouds had blocked the sunlight for most of the morning. Now that the day was clearing up, he was regretting it.
Another long silence as Erik took slow, lingering breaths. "Jake isn't my client, anymore. I have no intention of getting back together with him."
"I don't blame you. I just wanted to ask how you've been doing, since the trial concluded. It hit you pretty hard, in the men's room. I'm just making sure you're alright." Elliot shifted and turned in his seat to face Erik, placing his elbow on the back of the bench as he stared at the younger man's profile.
Blinking and biting his lower lip, Erik tilted his head back and watched a flock of birds fly overhead. "Are you charging me with assault to your shoulder, Detective?"
Smiling and concealing a laugh, Elliot shook his head. "No. That was a lot to take in and process and get through, on your own. I'm not going to hold it against you."
Leaning forward and lowering his head, Erik glanced back to eye the detective, beside him. His eyes moved down to Elliot's firm chest and lower to his lap. Turning back to stare at the water, he sighed. "It's bugging you that I'm gay. Isn't it? Otherwise, you would have moved on."
Elliot cleared his throat. "You don't exactly act like you're gay. And, it's not my call to tell you how to live your life."
Turning to face Elliot and copy his posture, Erik examined the detective's expression. "You think every gay man has to hit on any man close to him, or that he just wants sex? Just to say that he had a straight guy? I know better than that, Detective Stabler. It's been drilled into me to refrain from making comments to or about things that don't belong to me. What happened in that hotel room, between us was..... I'm not expecting anything to come from it. I would have hugged a post or kissed a pillow. But, that's not what's bothering you, is it?" He swallowed and stared at the buttons on Elliot's navy blue shirt. "Do you want me to hit on you, Elliot?" Meeting the man's eyes again, he cocked his head to the right and waited.
Inhaling sharply but never breaking eye contact, Elliot raked his lower lip with his teeth. "Is that what you want, Erik?"
"What I want isn't relevant. You're the one that, time and time again, has pursued me. Telling me it's because you're a father, yourself or that I was and still am handling this by myself, it seems like a very clever ploy to hit on me. I admit, I used whatever you offered as comfort as something to get me through this bad situation but, now that it's over with, you are still pursuing me. What is it you want me to say to you....... or, do?" Erik held his breath as Elliot processed what he said. They sat a foot apart from each other but Erik felt stifled in the space.
Elliot didn't answer, only nodded.
Erik moved a little closer. "I can tell you're not the kind of man for this kind of 'open affection.' So, for me to touch you or .... kiss you, sitting here, on a bench, in the middle of Manhattan, would possibly result in me being arrested for assault. Charged with 'forced unwanted affections.' Correct?"
An uneasy shift along with another sharp inhale as Erik moved closer to him.
A beep from Erik's inside jacket pocket interrupted the silence. The beeping continued as three beeps for every two seconds. Erik sighed heavily as he removed his cell phone and silenced the alarm. "My last few pills. My oncologist informed me, yesterday, I'm in remission." Bowing his head, he smiled to himself, pleased to know he had accomplished something by himself. "My brother and his kids are at the zoo, today. Kaelin is nine and Amy is four."
Congradulating him, Elliot watched Erik closely as the young man's expression lasted momentarilly. "You didn't want to go with?" Elliot hadn't revealed the fact that he knew the story of Erik and his brother's trip to the zoo.
Erik turned in his seat to face forward. Shaking his head, he scoffed. "Thanks. Wasn't invited. So, I am sitting here, waiting."
Elliot's brow furrowed. "You're staying with him?"
"Yea. Pop has his moments but he can get a bit too overprotective so, Alex offered me the sofa. However, I get a week's reprieve." Erik cleared his throat and shifted. "I have to take my pills." Finishing his statement, his alarm rang again and he was quick to silence it.
"How long have you been sitting here?"
Erik checked the time on his phone, in his hand, and shrugged. "Couple hours." Glancing back at Elliot, he gave a weak smile. "Buy you dinner, detective? Just friends. Promise." As Elliot nodded, they both stood and turned to look at the string of food shops, across the street. "Then you can tell me why you're stalking me." A smirk as they started walking.
**********
"So, what are you doing in Manhattan? How did you get here?" Making their way back outside after their meal, Elliot stopped to check his watch.
Erik smirked and pointed to a dark gray BMW, across the street. "I do have a driver's lisence and have been driving for years. A friend of mine is out of town so, I'm watching his place. I just came here to get away for awhile. I should collect the mail and water the plants." He was flattered that Elliot was interested in spending the day with him but he wondered why. Why would the married Detective Stabler hunt him down, just to sit with him on a park bench and then accept lunch? "Was there something you wanted to see me about, Detective?"
Elliot sighed and shrugged. "Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private and talk." The suggestion in itself had made Erik more nervous but Elliot had won the small staring contest and let Erik lead the way to his friend's apartment.
They walked two blocks and turned left into a nondescript building, taking the lift to the seventh floor and then taking a right, they stopped at a door with the marking of 73C on it. They indulged in small talk until they were inside the loft, pausing briefly for Erik to retrieve the mail from the small rectangular postbox, just inside the entrance. "So, we're here. What's so important?" A small, thin table sat beside the doorway, against the wall. He placed the few letters in a neat pile, next to the neat pile of junk mail.
A small entryway opened up into a large living room, void of clutter, save for a teal 1960s-esque decor sofa with two matched reading chairs with rounded backs. A large entertainment centre adorned the far right wall, complete with a large flat screen television, dvd player and a very expensive sound system. To the left of the entryway was the kitchenette sitting in the middle of the room while the bedroom was carefully concealed around back. Large windows lined the wall in front of them, giving a panoramic view of Hudson.
Elliot stood in the livingroom and turned around to look back at Erik, as he stood next to the small table with the mail on it. "I uh," he paused and turned to wave a hand at the sofa. "Why don't we have a seat?" Making his way over to the firm sofa and sitting down, he waited for Erik to join him. "I've been thinking about this for awhile now and didn't want to add to your stress. That day, I came over to apologise to you and check on you, you fell asleep, from your medication. You were pretty out of it so, I don't expect you to remember all that much."
Erik's calm demeanour was postponed by a small twinge of confusion before changing again to recollection. "I remember." He swallowed and nervously wet his lip with the tip of his tongue.
"Well, while you were asleep, I kept an eye on you. I um.... you started talking in your sleep." Elliot looked up from staring at his jeans, to see Erik's calm expression remain unchanged. "It was probably the medication talking but, you said some things that......" he sighed and thought of how to phrase the rest of the sentence. He couldn't tell if Erik was embarassed or not as the young man hadn't shown any form of expression, other than recognition.
"I can tell by your lack of wording that you weren't expecting me to say whatever I said. Correct?" Erik was tired of waiting and wanted to get the obviously painful admission over with as quickly as possible. "What did I say, exactly?" Shifting and facing Elliot, he noted the detective's unease but waited for the answer. He unzipped his jacket and folded his hands in his lap.
Elliot cleared his throat and shifted uneasily, again. "You said that you loved me and wanted to have sex with me."
Erik remained still and quiet and only stared back at him, waiting to see if there was more. He blinked and tried to read Elliot's expression as the detective shifted again. He was patient as their eyes met. He could tell Elliot wasn't sure what to think or how to examine it. Erik waited for the inevitable disgust or anger he might have felt but nothing came. Turning to look out the window a moment, he thought of the words to say. "Does that scare you?"
"Should it?" Elliot shrugged.
"It must if you've been waiting for something to happen to that effect. If it bothered you too much, the night in my hotel room wouldn't have gone as it did. Instead of you staying the night, with me, you would have left abruptly, after we kissed." Erik paused again, giving Elliot a moment to let it sink in what he was saying. "It's has to be mutual, for a relationship to work. You know that. And, you still pursued me, stayed with me or held me in my time of need. If I, at any time, repulsed you, I think I'm big enough to be able to handle the rejection."
Nodding, Elliot cleared his throat and sat back. "People are more honest in their dreams than when they're awake."
"People are more able to control their actions, when awake, than asleep. So far, we've only shared a kiss. If you didn't like it, you were more than able to let me know to refrain from imposing myself on you as well as removing yourself from the possibility of recurrence. Yet, here you are. Are you saying it doesn't bother you?" Another pause. They sat facing each other with a cushion's width between them. Erik hadn't wanted to crowd Elliot. "Or, are you saying you are curious about my statement, Elliot?"
Elliot swallowed and stood up, leaving Erik to sit silently and watch him move to stand in the middle of the shag rug. He sighed and placed a hand over his mouth, in thought. When he lowered it and turned around again, he was met with Erik's awaiting stare. "I try to be a good Catholic. I may not agree with some things people do in their lives but, it's not for me to judge them. Being a cop, putting bad guys in jail is just a job. Part of me chalked those actions and thoughts up to stress and possibly fragile emotions. It happens."
Erik nodded. "Do I make you uncomfortable, Elliot?"
"Is that how you feel about me? Was what you said, in your sleep the real emotion, or are you just saying it to see what I'd do or say?"
Erik's court tone came back to him and he stood up to rephrase his question. "Let me rephrase, Detective Stabler. Does my being homosexual and assertion make you feel uncomfortable?"
Elliot turned around, recognising the lawyer's tone. "No. It doesn't bother me, Counselour."
"Good. I'd like to think there is a possibility for a friendship."
"Is this how all of your relationships start?"
Relaxing his position and sighing, Erik nodded, tiredly. "Pretty much." He was beginning to feel the painful strain of scrutiny.
Elliot crossed his arms and slipped into his interrogation demeanour. "You still haven't answered my question, Erik."
Erik stared at the floor for a long moment before looking back up at Elliot. "And if I say 'yes'? Does it change anything between us?" His outer expression was calm and monotone but, inside he was shaking. Already, he could see the silent war behind Elliot's eyes. Bowing his head and closing his eyes, he took a breath before looking back up at Elliot. "Yes, it is." A warmth came over him, along with a feeling of shame as well as relief of getting his feelings out, into the open.
Both were still for a long while, taking in what the other had said.
"Why didn't you say anything before?" Elliot finally broke the silence as Erik shifted.
Erik turned and walked back to sit on the sofa. "Making you uncomfortable with my feelings was not my intention. And, the whole thing with Aaron Jasper and Jake and Justin Paxton was not a good first impression. My prior relationships were different because they are gay, and you are a straight, married Catholic man. By my saying or not saying anything was only sparing one or both of us the hurt and humiliation of having it come to light."
Elliot nodded in understanding. "So, you don't think gays and straights can actually be friends?"
Erik sighed and stood up. "My friend that is out of town, he lives here with his fiancee. She was someone I introduced him to, about a year ago. He and I have been friends since the seventh grade but, I worked with her. Went to law school with her. He's a good guy. Handsome, intelligent, great ass but, he's not into me. And, I'm not trying to change him. Hopefully, I live long enough to attend their wedding. It's a common misconception that people think all gays want to 'turn' everyone else gay, just- either because they can or to play the ultimate joke. It's not true. Love is not a joke. It means you're human." He paused as his nerves started to tingle. "I do have feelings for you. I do want to make love to you, Elliot. But, I won't force myself to choose for you. I don't want to go to my grave, knowing I forced myself on someone who didn't want my affections. But, by kissing you, I already have and for that, I am deeply sorry. It doesn't hurt to dream. It's the real world that has the consequences."
The realisation of Erik's words and Elliot's current living situation hit Elliot hard. "This is very...... overwhelming. But, now I know. Thank you for being honest."
Smiling shortly and turning to busy himself with the rest of his housesitting tasts, Erik felt hot with humiliation. "You're welcome." The words felt sharp and painful as he said them but he continued with his chores. He watered the plants on the window sill or the bedroom and fed the small turtle, in the tank on the desk, next to the sofa. When he finished his chores, he stopped at the end of the entryway and looked over at Elliot, still standing on the rug. "Something wrong?"
While Erik moved about the loft, Elliot stood and thought about his relationship with Cathy and his family before asking himself the same question of why he had pursued Erik. His only answer to himself was that it was his nature not to abandon someone who needed someone else, for support. There was a small piece of Elliot that had fallen in love with the young man's calmness and casual sincerity. "I'm not very good at dealing with certain admissions from people. Being a cop can take a toll on a relationship, and moreso on a marriage. So, I can only imagine what being a gay lawyer is like. On top of being one with cancer. Emotions run high, sometimes and a person gets lonely. They cling to the closest thing, just to have some kind of connection. I think you're very patient, reserved and a good man. You've walked through Hell and never really asked for anyone's shoulder, only waited for what was offered to you. You've got a second chance, now. You should be out, celebrating, not sitting on a bench where your exlover and another man left your dead lookalike. Or, has this whole thing caused you to retreat and force yourself to be alone and miserable, just to apease your dad and brother?" Elliot watched Erik's cheeks redden in shame. "I got time, if you want to talk?"
Erik shook his head. "Talking is really the last thing I want to do, right now, detective."
Elliot stepped forward and stopped in front of Erik, waiting.
Swallowing and averting his eyes, Erik took a deep breath. When he looked back to Elliot, he could feel his heart race at the closeness of the man became unbearable. "If this is a lesson to keep to my own kind, I get it. No need for cruel jokes." He was silenced from continuing by Elliot's mouth against his. When the kiss ended, Erik pulled away, wide-eyed and shocked. "Are you feeling alright, detective?"
"Call it payback for the hotel. And, curiosity."
"For?"
Elliot gave a disarming smile. "I think you want an older man whose sane enough not to do drugs or get drunk on a nightly basis. Someone who lets you be in control when you want to be and feel safe enough to relent, when you need comforting. Is that why you find me attractive, Erik?" He watched as Erik tilt his head back and averted his eyes in a small wave of nerves. "It's not a crime to want some stability in your life, Erik. It's what we all want. You said yourself, Jake was supposed to be that way and he wasn't."
Wanting to reach up and embrace Elliot, Erik flinched and stopped himself. Instead, he backed up and turned towards the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water, from the refrigerator. Taking two bottles of water and placing the second on the countre, for Elliot, he paused. "Would you prefer something stronger? You might not be as open to where this is concluding, as you might think." Erik watched Elliot pick up the bottle of water and make his way back over to sit on the sofa and invite Erik to join him.
Elliot removed his own brown leather coat and placed it over the arm of the sofa, next to him. He placed the bottle of water on the coaster, on the end table and waited as Erik followed suit.
"Are you sure a man just out of cancer is ready for sex?" Elliot's voice was soft.
Erik smiled shyly. "I am past the point of virginity, Elliot. Rough sex is not my thing but I can take a man slow, and be slow, in return."
Elliot smiled. "You want me to make love to you?"
Leaning forward, Erik sighed. "I think this is what you want, Elliot. Isn't it? That's why you were afraid to let me go, in the hotel room." Before continuing, he shifted. "I was Catholic once, too. In the master bathroom, there's a box of condoms and some KY. If you wish to reconsider and leave before I get back, there's no hard feelings, detective."
Elliot nodded as Erik stood and made his way to the bedroom for the condom and jelly. Shifting, Elliot glanced down at his open shirt and debated getting up and leaving. Erik wasn't coming back right away but, instead waited to see what Elliot would do. He wrestled with himself for a moment before catching sight of Erik leaning against the wall of the bedroom entryway.
Making his way back to where Elliot still sat, Erik sank to his knees at Elliot's feet and placed the box of condoms and the small clear bottle on the arm of the sofa. He stared at them for a moment and then turned his attention to Elliot, who leaned back. Reaching up to touch Elliot's chest, Erik sighed and turned his attention to Elliot's pants fastenings; undoing the brown leather belt and button and zipper of the material. He tried not to hurry or let Elliot see his hands shake. Reaching in a removing Elliot's manhood, Erik then took a moment to remove a wrapper from the box and position the condom over the erection before he leaned in and licked at the waking appendage. He heard Elliot gasp and after a minute, felt a gentle hand hold his head as he took Elliot's sleepy erection into his mouth. He knew Elliot was watching him and could feel the strain as the detective debating pulling away. Erik sucked harder. Teasing the shaft, Erik paused to suck and lick the tip, receiving a mouthful of clear fluid from inside the latex barrier.
Erik sat back and rested for a moment as he reached up to unbutton his own shirt and pants. He removed his shirt and placed it on the sofa, beside Elliot, and sighed as he hesitantly moved to remove his jeans, kicking his shoes off before stepping out of his pants and placing them beside his shirt. He left his black boxers on and reached for the bottle of KY. Holding it in his hands, he stared at it. "Aside from my last interaction with Jake, I haven't done this in a really long time."
Elliot reached up and slowly took the bottle from him. Lifting the tab open, Elliot carefully poured a puddle into the palm of his hand and coated the condom, placing a little more on the tip.
A hushed gasp as Erik watched Elliot stroke himself. Biting his lip, he moved to slide his boxers down his hips, to his ankles and then waited as Elliot slid his pants and boxers down, past his knees. He was stopped as Elliot then reached for a pillow, behind him, and tossed it on the floor and then motioned for Erik to lie down.
His head touched the pillow and Erik smiled up at Elliot, looming over him. Erik spread his legs and gingerly helped the detective place himself at Erik's entrance. He nodded his readiness as Elliot pressed in as gently as he could. Erik winced in pain but refused to let Elliot stop.
Just using the tip, inside Erik, Elliot started a slow rhythm until he was certain the younger man was used to being stretched before pressing in further. Holding himself just above Erik, Elliot placed a hand on Erik's hip while the other worked as support, and shoved himself in further. He could tell it was not Erik's nature to be the bottom as the pained expression on Erik's face was becoming unbearable. As Erik closed his eyes, Elliot bent down and captured his mouth to get his mind off of the pain. As their lips touched, Elliot slipped in deeper and caused a groan from both of them. He could feel Erik's hands on his hips and then wrap around his ribcage as the younger man shifted for better leverage. Within minutes, Elliot moaned and grit his teeth as he came. He could feel Erik's tight muscled ring clamp around him and the wet spray of Erik's erection, between them.
**********
Elliot climbed the stairs to the balcony of the squad room and sat down on the end of the teal sofa. He sighed to himself and stared at the floor, two feet in front of him. His hands clasped together as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Moving a hand to wipe across his face and curl around his mouth, Elliot was deep in thought and hadn't noticed Dr. Huang climb the stairs and approach him. He jumped and sat back as his eyes caught sight of the figure. "What's up, doc?"
Dr. George Huang smiled and stood at the railing, a few feet away from Elliot. "I could ask you the same thing. Everything alright, Detective Stabler?"
Inhaling and changing his position to sitting back on the sofa, Elliot nodded. "Yea. Just uh, thinking about something." He had several things on his mind that he needed off of his chest but, he hadn't been the kind of person to divulge his personal struggles to anyone, not even his own partner. His mind was in turmoil since his wife moved out and handed him divorce papers as well as current cases and..... previous ones.
"Did you want to talk about it?" Huang came closer and sat down at the small table, next to the sofa and faced the detective.
Elliot shook his head and sighed. "Nah, it's just minor things."
"Rumour has it, you've been checking up on Erik Matthews. He made an impression, on you, didn't he?" Huang smiled again. Meeting Elliot's eye, he elaborated. "Your desk calendar mentioned lunch with an E. M. Could I hazard a guess?" He knew the extra secretive detective would never come outright to say who or why he was meeting with but, after the trial, he had his theories. It was also against his professional courtesy to divulge that he had been speaking to Erik, as a psychiatrist, about the previous trial and drama that had occured.
Elliot shifted uncomfortably for a few moments before finally giving in and admitting the Huang's assumption was correct. "I've been talking to him and checking up on him. Cancer is scary to go through alone. Or, even when you're not alone."
Huang nodded. "At least you're talking to him, and he's maybe sharing what you need to know, as well?"
Brow furrowing and his mouth opened to form something to say, but he was halted as Cragen came up the stairs.
"Elliot, my office."
Following the captain down the stairs and into Cragen's office, Elliot stopped in the doorway. "Captain Anders...?"
The retired Brooklyn Homicide captain sat in a chair, facing Cragen's desk. In his hand was something Stabler couldn't yet make out. The elder Anders stood up and turned to greet the detective, as he entered the room. His expression was sombre and it looked like he hadn't slept in a few days. Two and a half weeks had past since Elliot and Erik shared intimacy but Russell Anders was only concerned with the task he was given. "Detective Stabler." He paused to glance down at the plain white envelope, in his hand. "I was instructed by Erik to stop by and hand this to you. He uh, ....passed away, yesterday morning." Another pause as he fought back the tears that choked his words. Handing the envelope to Elliot, he took a ragged breath and added, "Erik was a good boy. Worked hard at what he did and told me he really enjoyed your company. I'm glad you could be there for him, when his family couldn't. Thank you."
Elliot was in shock as Ander shook his hand and slipped out of the office. He stared at the envelope and flipped it over to unseal it and remove the contents. "A letter from Aaron Jasper's family, to Erik." He paraphrased as he read it. "They say they're just as sorry Erik was the actual target and that it caused so much anguish on his already comprimised system." He closed the letter and looked up. "They wish him the best." The second item inside the envelope was a small 3x5 portrait card of Saint Jane Frances, complete with a prayer of Forgiveness. Elliot felt ill as he stared at the card. It was old and faded, with a handwritten note, on the back: 'Take heart, Elliot. I forgive you.'

End.
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The Devil You Know