Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Blind Chess	By : madradena Category: Star Trek > The Next Generation Views: 1334 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own ST:TNG, nor the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Data watched Emma sitting exhausted in her dressing room. She was still wearing the make-up and dress for Dreamland, which ended only a few minutes prior. He promised his mother, that they would go over to her quarters afterwards, but he suspected that the promise was too hasty. Emma had made it clear, that they needed to talk. And it seemed that what she intended to say required a longer time than the few minutes they had just before the performance. Data realized that Emma seemed to have taken offence for something: the way she walked out of the observation lounge without a backward glance at him, and during the play, she barely wanted to keep eye contact with him and the length of their kiss on the stage - it was the shortest ever since they had been performing Dreamland. The audience he was sure, could perceive nothing of this, but he knew. He could feel that she was upset with him. However, he couldn't figure out the exact reason she could feel resentment toward him. So finally, he decided that he would just try to cheer her up the way he would usually do if she was upset with someone else, and was hoping that maybe, it would alleviate her anger as well.
He walked to her and crouched in front of her taking her hand gently in his. When she raised her head to look into his eyes, however, her gaze remained hostile, even accusing. It made his heart sink, but he still had to try: "Are you not feeling better? At least a little?"
She kept on looking daggers at him then just pulled her hands away and pushing him out of her way, stood up. He stood too and looked at her puzzled.
She walked up to the wall - as if to be as far from him as she could - and turned to him with a hard expression "Did you know?"
He frowned puzzled "Did I know what?" he asked cocking his head. Emma snorted and threw her hands up taking a few paces aimlessly. He made an attempt at guessing what she might have been referring to "Did I know the destination of the mission?"
She turned back to him sharply at this "Did you?! Did you know, Deadpan, that we are going back to that hellhole?" she demanded, voice shaking.
"Of course I did." he told her taken aback by her accusing gaze "I'm the Operations officer of the ship, I'm required to be aware of our destination." he explained but remained just as confused as a moment ago about the reason for Emma's anger.
"So why didn't you say a word? Just one lousy word!" she asked desperately and clearly very disappointed in him.
He was beginning to feel just as desperate as she seemed "It was classified information, Emma! It still is. I couldn't say anything to you or any officer not included in the senior staff."
She shrugged and snorted "You know what? Fine. But at least you could have given me a heads up! Like: come on babe! Now would be as good a time to go on shore leave as any. Or something like that."
"Why would I have done that?" he asked puzzled.
"Because, Deadpan, then I wouldn't have been blackmailed into this mission!" she told him exasperated "For god's sake! What were you thinking my reaction will be when you learned about where we were going? Something like: oh, I don't need to say a word to Emma, let her be surprised?! Or what?!"
He could feel her frustration with him radiating from her in waves, but he tried to keep his voice as calm as he could - he couldn't get upset too, one of them needed to think clearly! "There was a fairly high chance that you would be upset learning our destination. However, I never suspected that you would be required to beam down with us to the planet! I thought you would be asked to advise us. And I thought that you would gladly do that to assist the mission. I never imagined you would react the way you did! You have to believe me that I haven't acted out of malice in not telling you this." he told her on a pleading voice.
Emma snorted "Yeah, well, I do believe that you are naive enough not to do this out of malice. And I believe you that you didn't know that Uncle Seth would want me down with the team." she shook her head "The problem is that I think you would have remained just as silent if you did know!"
They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment, and Data felt now really exasperated by what she was saying. He spread his arms helplessly "What would you have wished me to do, Emma? It was my duty to stay silent! We are Starfleet officers on a starship!"
"Well, to the hell with that!" she retorted "If I had to break some rules for you, I'd have done it. Moreover, I DID do it not so long ago. It seems your memory is not as good as one would expect!" she taunted.
He frowned now angrily "I don't believe that it involved even the slightest of dilemma for you to do that."
"Of course not! I cared about you, it was not a question that I would protect you! My priorities, Deadpan, are just fine! How about yours?!" she asked almost shouting.
"Your priorities have nothing to do with Starfleet duties!" he retorted just as furious as she was "It didn't take any effort for you to break rules for me, cause that's what you do! You keep trying to cross the line, trying to cross with your superiors. As if no rules applied to you at all! Well, to me they do apply."
"Sure and let's face it, they're a LOT more important for you than I am!" she chuckled bitterly "What was I thinking? That I could expect a measure of empathy?" she asked gazing away disappointed. Data was hit by the question as if a hard fist landed in his stomach. He gaped at her shocked, and Emma went on looking into his eyes "Did you have any idea whatsoever how I would feel about going back there? Has it ever crossed your mind that I would feel horrible about it? No, of course not. You just thought 'well, she would be a little upset but girls are like that so what the hell, it would just go away', didn't you?"
"No." he told her on a low voice "I was hoping I could console you. I was hoping that you would trust me enough to believe me, if I told you that I could protect you. And no harm could come to you as long as you're with me."
Emma shook her head with a bitter expression "You cannot know that. Not with Ed Jones around."
"But you did want me down with you on the planet! You just said so at the briefing! Whatever changed since then?!" he asked desperate, and completely lost in following her capricious logic.
"Do I have any other choice?!" she retorted "You're the only one having the slightest chance at protecting me, but believe me, there're no guarantees!"
"There are never guarantees, Emma! Duty involves facing danger sometimes. Don't tell me you were not aware of that! But I will do everything to keep you safe! Why isn't that enough for you? Why are you angry at me?!" he asked now just as upset as she was.
"Because you just kept silent! You decided for me. You took away all my control over the situation! And you lied. ...Even though our agreement." she looked straight into his eyes clearly disappointed.
"Duty required it, Emma. You're as much a Starfleet officer as I am. You have to understand." he told her pleading.
"Screw that 'Starfleet duty' bullshit already, because I'm fed up with it!" she snapped "What kind of duty required you to lie?!"
He felt his chest gripped by fury he rarely felt before at this "You're accusing me when you're just as to blame?!" he asked back raising his voice.
She looked at him questioningly "Wha?"
He stepped up to her and looked straight into her eyes "You did lie during the briefing, didn't you? About the Resistance. You do know a lot more that you told us." he told her what Deanna had told them a few hours ago.
She stood his gaze for a moment longer, then snorted with a wry smile and shook her head annoyed "I almost forgot there was a betazoid in the room." she stepped away to get away from his accusing gaze "Well, you know what Deadpan?" she turned back to him from the other end of the room and shrugged "I did feel horrible about not telling at least you all about it. But now that you're throwing all that into my face, you just managed to give me absolution. Thank you, Father Confessor!" she bowed a little in mock-gratitude theatrically.
"Stop being sarcastic about this!" he snapped "It is your duty to tell the truth, if your superiors ask it of you!" - how could she be so unbelievable ignorant about this?!
Her eyes flashed "So then court martial me, Commander! It's done now for every nuisance, isn't it?" she stepped closer staring into his eyes "For things like feeling pesky emotions, which hinders abilities, right? So what would be the big deal about doing it for some lying?"
"I never meant to threaten you with being your superior. But you have to be honest with us." he tried again to sound calm and patient, but he felt his chest was gripped by the pain he tried to stifle throughout the day over how the court martial treated him.
She snorted "Yeah, so telling you the name of the leader of the Resistance or where his location is would then be the fulfilling of my duty, right? Tell me, Deadpan, if Uncle Seth sells that information to my husband for some shit he wants to gain on this mission, and Ed has the last of the Resistance murdered, who would take that responsibility? You? Me? Who?" she demanded.
"It's not our duty to decide." Data tried again patiently "We have to trust the Captain in this, it's his place to make that decision. This is why he is our superior. He carries the responsibility. Emma, I don't want the Captain to consider you untrustworthy! The Counsellor told everybody that your loyalties are divided! You need to prove her wrong! Please!"
She suddenly laughed a forced laugh "Divided? Well, just for her to know. My loyalties are not divided at all!" she looked into his shocked eyes challengingly and then went on on a lower voice "...and if Starfleet and our superiors can be trusted as much as YOUR court martial indicates... I'd advise you to reconsider whom you trust in the near future." she taunted, but her voice broke on the last word.
"You're wrong in this..." he whispered.
"So then I'm wrong!" she snapped clearly showing her fear now "But at least I can try to protect myself instead of lying on my back and opening up my belly to the hungry vultures around me so that they could slaughter me down to their liking! Like SOME do... And I'm not planning to get dissected. Like SOME do... Just to prove my loyalties."
Data bowed his head "You really think I went along with the procedure just because of that?" he asked on a shaken voice.
Emma felt her heart break seeing him so lost and hurt "No." she breathed, and he looked into her eyes with such a painful expression that it made it very difficult for her to go on "I just think that you were blackmailed into this. And you trust them enough to believe that even dissecting you would be all okay, if duty required it."
"That is not true, Emma. Believe me!" he pleaded.
"Then prove me wrong!"
"How?! It would mean that I have to leave the Enterprise!"
"Then leave it!"
"And leave my friends?! Leave you?!"
"I'm not important in this equation!"
Data snorted and bowed his head before looking back into her eyes disappointed "Curious... I thought that you were one of the most important factors in the equation." he told her on a silent voice.
Emma felt tears of frustration run to her eyes "Don't tell me you're doing this for me, please just don't!" she told him on a shaky voice.
He stepped up to her and looked into her eyes determined "I'm doing it to retain what I already have. Yourself included."
She shook her head "I can't take this responsibility!" she told him on a hushed voice.
"I'm not asking you to." he took her hand reluctantly into both of his and gazed into her eyes "All I'm asking you is to accept my reasoning. And accept my decision. And stand by me."
Emma felt her heart was gripped by pain the same way he was gripping her hand. She gazed into his eyes - his beautiful, beautiful eyes - and just shook her head again "Stand by you and watch them commit a crime against you?" As she watched him bow his head and felt him let her hand go, she realized she would have to face the consequences of what she just uttered. And the consequences were just too horrible to face! She stepped away from him to hide the tears in her eyes "I had enough of this, it's a vicious circle! It never ends!" she walked over to her rack "I want to change." He remained standing there looking at her, and she frowned irritated "Alone."
He swallowed and nodded after a moment "Very well. Then we may continue our attempt at breaking the vicious circle at home."
"No." she told him on a firm voice and saw him standing there shocked as she went on "...I'm not going home... I'm not going to your place today."
He took a futile step toward her "So where will you sleep tonight?" he asked bewildered.
"My own place, Bev's place, I don't care! I want to be alone..." she told him tiredly and turned her head away.
A moment of silence descended over them like a poisonous cloud, and he realized he needed to make himself speak instead of just walking out on her "Very well. Good night to you." he whispered starting for the door when he heard her silent voice.
"What's happened to us in a day, Deadpan? Yesterday we were the happiest couple in lo..." she stopped before the word left her lips. She felt it to be a vain attempt at protecting herself by not saying the word. It seemed it didn't matter anymore, if she said it or not...
Data stood there feeling his emotions claiming all of his resources hearing her stop short before uttering the word. She is not going to say it! She is never going to say it wholeheartedly! He swallowed hard looking away "I cannot answer that..." he whispered. They stood there a moment longer in one small room but divided by a wall of desperation and doubt. "See you tomorrow." he told her and then left her alone to her tears.
- 11
- 12
- 13
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Blind Chess