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Hunting Erebor	By : LadyLaran Category: Supernatural > Crossovers Views: 1898 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own "Supernatural" or "The Hobbit." I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 12
- 13
Author’s Note – It’s been a while since I’ve done something with this; I didn’t realize just how much time has passed since the last update. It’s still difficult working on this particular tale, but I’m not giving up on this one or the other Supernatural crossover that Mom and I had been writing together. That one will take more time to get back to since she was writing it with me.

Also, I wanted to let my readers know that I am now taking commissions for writing. All of my social media information is on my profile so you can go there to get the details. I need to supplement my income badly, especially with the holiday season approaching.

Thanks to everyone for your patience, and I hope my American readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Disclaimer – I do not own “Supernatural” or “the Hobbit,” and I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter Thirteen – Memories and Plots

Imrathon and Eruestan arrived at the balcony to find the company sitting around, tending to weapons as well as patching up their gear. The two rangers made a straight line for Thorin, who had been conversing with Balin and Bilbo about something. The king-in-exile lifted his head, nodding as the two brothers joined them.

“You showed Elrond the map last night,” Eruestan asked, getting comfortable.

“I did,” he answered. “He said the moon will be in phase soon since there’s some reaction with the runes but not enough to make them legible.”

“Estel found us this morning,” Imrathon announced. “He said he’d overheard Elrond talking to Glorfindel about the map and that he heard that while Elrond was happy to aid you in recovering lost knowledge, he was concerned about you eventually using said knowledge to wake the dragon in a bid to reclaim your home.”

Concerned, Thorin looked at Balin and Bilbo, who had similar expressions of concern on their faces at the news they’d just heard.

“This is not good,” the king-in-exile commented, rubbing a hand over his beard as he spoke. “We have done our best to ensure he had no reason to be suspicious.”

“I believe you,” Eruestan said. “Elrond can be a bit suspicious at times; it’s how he’s lived so long, I’m sure, but we’re going to have to be very clever when it comes to ensuring he has no reason to try to stop us from leaving after the map is read.”

“What do you suggest,” Balin asked, knowing they had to do something.

“My brother and I did a bit of thinking earlier,” Imrathon shared. “We think the best way to keep him from suspecting anything and thinking too much on it is to keep him and the other residents here busy. To do this, we’re going to need to borrow Fili and Kili.”

Thorin called for his sister-sons, who joined them and were filled in on what was going on. When they were caught up, the elder ranger began sharing the plan he and his brother had devised that morning.

“The best way to keep Elrond and his elves busy is to start a prank war,” Imrathon told him. “If you do it right, you’ll draw in his twin sons. Elladan and Elrohir can’t resist pulling tricks on people and if you can catch them in a prank early enough, they’ll join in.”

“Rivendell will be in utter chaos,” Thorin breathed, staring at the two brothers. “I’m unsure if I should call you geniuses or utterly mad!”

“It’s the best way to distract everyone,” Eruestan told him. “We’ll need to make sure some of the company get pranked at times so as not to draw suspicion, but this is the only plan we could come up with that would ensure we won’t be discovered.”

Thorin was quiet, thinking on what the two Dúnedain had shared with him, and he knew their idea was the right one. If his sister-sons and the Dúnedain could get all of Rivendell involved, no one would know that it had been started by the company. He saw the eager expressions on his nephews’ faces and made his decision.

“I will allow this but make sure we are not held under suspicion,” he warned. “I’ll not have us being blamed for this, even if we are the ones to start it. Be cautious and do nothing that will cause injury or harm to personal property that cannot be easily repaired.”

The two boys, which is what they were in his eyes even if they were of age, grinned at each other and quickly scarpered off to find a quiet place to plan their activities. Thorin had a feeling he was either going to enjoy or despise this.

“You know this means the laddies are going to get us involved with their shenanigans somehow,” Balin commented. “You’ve put everyone at risk; they’re going to prank as many people as they can.”

“They can try,” Bilbo said with a gleam in his eyes that sent a jolt of dread down Thorin’s spine. “They’d only do it once; I promise you that.”

“Um, Bilbo, now would be a good time to learn what’s not allowed to be done to dwarrow when pranking them,” Imrathon said, getting up as he did so. “I should let them know what’s off limits to hobbits too or it could get bloody.”

Balin and Thorin stared at Eruestan when the other Dúnadan left the group to join the two young members of the Line of Durin. The ranger shrugged, giving a smile before heading to where his brother, Fili, and Kili were.

“Could it truly get bloody if you prank a hobbit wrong,” the king-in-exile asked.

“Oh yes,” Bilbo answered, filling his pipe with some of his favorite tobacco. “There are areas on a hobbit that are not to be touched by anyone other than parents, if you’re a fauntling, or a lover. And there’s three other things that have been known to prompt fights or feuds that can last for generations.”

He lit his pipe and soon blew out a very nice looking smoke ring before explaining his answer.

“The ears on a hobbit are very sensitive,” the hobbit stated. “You do not tug or touch them unless you are planning on inviting said person to your bed. Pranks revolving around ears are not allowed, and I’ve seen people flatened by umbrellas, frying pans, and whatever else was on hand to discourage the rogue being so forward.

“It’s the same for a hobbit’s feet. We keep them clean, well brushed, and it’s considered a good sign of proper breeding to have nice lush hair.”

“Somewhat like a dwarf’s beard then,” Balin mused.

“Not that extreme,” Bilbo admitted, taking a drag from his pipe before slowly exhaling. “We do what’s necessary to keep our feet healthy and hair clean and neat, but we don’t spend as much time as your people do on their hair.”

Thorin hid his chuckle, remembering the first morning after Bilbo had joined the company. The hobbit had been rather taken aback by the amount of time spent on grooming before breakfast or breaking down camp. Even though he wore only a few braids himself, he made sure his own hair was properly taken care of as well as trimming his beard when it was needed. It had been amusing watching the burglar as he stared in awe as the company took care of their hair and beards before even thinking about heading out.

This was one of the reasons Thorin insisted on early morning wake up because they would lose too much time to grooming otherwise. He’d made sure to schedule that in or he’d have some very unhappy dwarrow in the company. Truthfully, he’d rather lose the hour or so it took for everyone to get ready rather than deal with twelve grumpy dwarrow. Well, more like eleven since Kili barely did much with his hair outside of occasionally brushing the front back and clasping it so it was out of his face.

“What else will incite a feud or cause a fight if done to a hobbit,” Thorin asked, chuckling just a tad.

“Mucking about with their food, pipeweed, or drink,” the burglar answered, pulling his pipe out of his mouth in order to give a clear one. “If you do something to one or all three of them, it’s a serious offense. We take our comfort very seriously, and those are essential to our comfort. My mother actually punched Camellia Sackville-Baggins in the nose because the woman had the audacity to try to make off with Mama’s favorite tea.

“That led to a feud that lasted for several years, which was awkward considering she was married to my father’s brother,” Bilbo mused. “Made it fun though because it meant I could avoid my cousin growing up. It was very good practice for avoiding him and his wife now.”

“Another feud,” Balin asked, amused by what he was hearing.

“She’d have orcs running in terror of her,” he answered, eyes narrowed as he did so. “Lobelia Sackville-Baggins wanted to marry me years ago, but I refused her because I prefer to remain a confirmed bachelor instead of conforming to what our society expects. Add to that, even if I had been looking for a wife, she was underage at the time and too much in love with the idea of being the mistress of Bag End. She’s never forgiven me for that, and she has tried very hard to have my home taken away and given to her husband.”

“That can’t happen while you’re gone, can it,” Thorin questioned, suddenly concerned that Bilbo would have a home to return to.

“Oh no, she can’t,” the hobbit replied with a rather satisfied smirk. “I left my will with several people, to be enacted if I do not return after a specific amount of time or if the thain has been notified of my death. No Sackville-Baggins will ever get their grubby paws on my home. That I promise you.”

“That’s good to know, laddie, and I’ll make sure your thain is informed if something should happen to you,” Balin promised. “I take it this is what Master Imrathon is educating the lads about?”

“More than likely,” Bilbo said with a nod. “He’s seen a hobbit’s wrath first hand; Imrathon was stuck between two feuding hobbit matrons when he and his brother came to visit one year. I’d never seen a member of the big folk so flustered as he was, and it was rather funny to watch.”

“I imagine so,” Thorin stated. “As far as dwarrow are concerned, you know our hair is important to us. It’s also wise to leave weapons and tools alone for we depend on them to practice what our Maker has taught us.”

“Everything else is fair game then?”

“For the most part, yes,” he admitted. “Some, like Bombur, will be quite furious if you mess with food or drink but others might laugh it off and plot revenge.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” the smaller male chuckled, puffing contentedly on his pipe. “Hopefully, I won’t be dragged into this prank war. They might not like it if I am.”

“Why is that,” the adviser asked.

“While the Baggins family is known for propriety and being respectable, Tooks are known for their adventures as well as being rash and crafty. My mother is a Took and though I am a Baggins, I do have some of the traits from her family. I was taught how to prank by the best, and I can get rather determined when it comes to gaining my revenge,” the hobbit smirked.

“So long as you and Thorin are kept out of the pranks, it should be fine,” Balin said, shaking his head. “Otherwise, Rivendell will probably be in a shambles by the time we leave between you both, the lads, these elf twins, and potentially the Dúnedain. Those two had the look about them that said they were eager to join in as well.”

“You pull pranks,” Bilbo asked the dwarf lord, who chuckled briefly and shook his head.

“Mild ones on my family if they decide to agitate me more than normal,” he said. “I used to get into mischief often when I was very young, before my parents and grandfather felt I needed to start learning more about ruling.”

“He, my brother, and his siblings were literal terrors,” Balin said with a laugh.

“Good memories,” Thorin said with a soft smile. “Dis barely remembers it now; I’m hoping that she’ll remember more when we get home.”

“Familiar things are a good way to jostle memories loose, Thorin, and I’m sure we’ll have good memories to enjoy once everything is as it should be,” the adviser told him, smiling as he did so.

“Provided we survive the prank war,” the king-in-exile smirked. “Never in my life did I think I would be giving the lads permission to pull pranks on people. Dis would either kill me or try to join in.”

“Both, I imagine,” the white haired dwarf stated. “She’ll be quite upset to have missed all of this. Remind me to have Ori write everything down and sketch what he can so she can hear a little of the chaos caused in the next few days.”

“I may ask for copies of those sketches,” Bilbo snickered, offering the others his pouch so they could join him in a smoke. “The next few days are going to be interesting, and I can’t wait to see what happens.”

The others agreed and settled back to smoke, knowing this would most likely be the only calm period they would have to enjoy over the next few days.

Author’s End Note – This should be fun; a prank war in Rivendell to act as a smoke screen. I have to wonder if the place will still be standing! I can’t wait to share the pranks with you guys though I am still trying to figure out what should be pulled on the elves and guests. If you have suggestions, please let me know! I’m not a prankster by nature so any help would be appreciated! As a reminder, Imrathon is Dean and Sam’s is Eruestan. See everyone next chapter! ~ Laran
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Hunting Erebor