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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2	By : keithcompany Category: G through L > Land of the Giants Views: 1504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Land of the Giants show, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
(Another outtake from an episode of Vernon, Giant P.I. plays.)
(In a room full of vast and flashy electronic equipment, PI Vernon (based on Vertag) works feverishly to disarm a bomb looking device. The Police-Perez character stands on a console beside his elbow.)
Police-Perez: Twenty Seconds, Vernon!
Vernon: You'd better get out of here!
Police-Perez: I'm not afraid of no-
(A giant electrical spark bolts between the device and the console, causing light bulbs beside Police-Perez to explode. She ducks as glass flies past her)
Police-Perez: See you outside! (runs across the desk)
Vernon: Just…about…got…
(Device pops off of the conduit it's attached to. Vernon grabs it and staggers backwards. Electricity bursts around and across him blasting him through a window.)
(He lands with a huge thud in an alley. The Lessala-inspired character Lisa and the Janet-inspired Bimbo run up to him)
Lisa: Vernon! Vernon! Are you okay?
Janet-slut: He's not breathing!
Lisa: He's dead! (wails)
Janet-slut: Stop that! Just do CPR!
Lisa: See pee where?
Janet-slut: Breathe for him!
Lisa: What?
(Police-Perez apparently made incredible time departing the building as she runs up to the scene)
Janet-slut: Like this! (Grabs the police officer, dips her to the ground, starts rescue breathing. A confused policewoman starts to wrap an arm around Janet's shoulders) Stop that! I'm doing CPR!
Police-Perez: Oh.
Lisa: Oh! I can do that! (lip locks her boss, heavy breathing. After a while, he shudders, jerks. Then the breathing becomes kissing. Much moaning. The two are clearly very deeply in lust with each other)
(Janet-slut watches them sadly, then sniffles and turns away)
Police-Perez: Don't be sad, miss. If there is more love in the world, that's always a good thing.
Janet-slut: You think so?
Police-Perez: I know so. (wraps an arm around Janet-slut's shoulders) Come. I can show you what I mean.
Janet-slut: Well, okay. (The camera follows them as they walk down the alley. When they're some distance away, a giant bra falls to the ground behind them. Moaning gets louder)
(The screen goes black, the camera view pulls back. We find that Lessala and Vertag are both watching Vernon, Giant P.I. on individual hand-held devices.)
Lessala: Aw. The Bang Gang is defeated, Vernon and Lisa become lovers, Jamie and Sergeant Marseille become friends, maybe lovers…?
Vertag: Won't know until next season.
Lessala: I can't wait.
(As they put the devices in a drawer on Vertag's desk, the SOG grabs his ear, looks up at the giant. Pulls a green flag out of his podium and waves it. Vertag nods, catches Lessala's eye and nods towards the flag. She nods.)
Vertag: Well. I guess I'd better read the instruction manual on that new taser very slowly and carefully.
Lessala: And I should read up on the word processor I will be obtaining soon. Slowly, as you say, and carefully. (She lifts a pencil cup. There's a red button on the bottom, she presses it)
Vertag: Okay.
Lessala: We're secure.
(Elevator door opens, Janet and Adams walk out onto Vertag's desk)
Janet: Boy have I got a funny story for you.
Adams: And by funny she means-
(In the room of surveillance equipment, two SID giants glance through the newspaper. Reel-to-reel tapes run as silence comes out of the speakers. The much amplified sound of a page turning…)
SID1: Boring day today.
SID2: (Grunts an affirmative).
Vertag: That sounds really funny.
Janet: Well. You know that show, Vernon-
Lessala: Private Dick!
Janet: Investigator. Private investigator.
Lessala: Yeah, yeah?
Janet: Well, the guys that film the show? They're coming to this planet.
Vertag: Oh?
Lessala: Cool. Can we get on the show?
Janet: That's….not why they're coming.
Vertag: Why are they coming?
Janet: They're filming part of the show.
Adams: In secret. They're secretly filming a few episodes of the show here. Without telling anyone.
Vertag: Which my government would cheerfully interpret as spying.
Lessala: Mine, too.
Janet: Lucky for us, then, they didn't land on any of your governments' lands.
(Vertag and Lessala look at each other)
Lessala: What else is there?
-----
Roll Titles
-----
Janet: Sergeant? (SOG takes a projector out of his podium, sets it up where it shines on the side of Vertag's in box. A map of the giant's planet shows)
Adams: We're here (points at a continent straddling the equator. There's another continent a bit further north). We think they landed here. (on the far side of the planet, a peninsula of First Nation's continent stretches out into a very big, empty sea. There's an island, then another peninsula that stretches to a third continent clear around the world from First, Second and Third Nation. Lessala and Vertag crouch over the Earthling's heads and examine the map.)
Lessala: Hey! That's one of the Lost Lands!
Vertag: Those are myths.
Lessala: They've been in orbit. I think they may have looked down a time or two.
Vertag: Good point.
Adams: A very good point, young lady.
Lessala: Thanks!
Janet: So, the fleet tracked a contact going from orbit to the island. There don't seem to be any giants living there.
Vertag: But that's pretty close to that continent over there.
Adams: It is. They have radar coverage of most of the island, most of the time. We think Mr. Foster's unit slipped in without detection, but we can't conduct a search. Our planes would be detected, and the giants there might investigate.
Vertag: And you're telling us this…?
Janet: Well, we were kind of hoping you'd help us search for them. If we know where they are, we can send someone to force them back into orbit. Or if their ship's broken, the shuttle can scream in and pick everyone up, before the, uh, other giants can respond.
Lessala: They're lost?
Janet: Well, they're not answering the radio…
(Cut to a forest scene. The two actresses from Vernon, PI stumble through giant roots and leaf clutter.)
Jamie (the Janet-Bimbo): Oh, my god! Everything's so big out here!
Marseilles (Perez-Police): Well, it is the giant planet.
Jamie: Does that mean everything's giant?
Marseilles: Um…yes.
Foster (Offscreen): Cut!
(Camera pans to show the film crew set up underneath a large plant leaf)
Foster: Your line is 'Oui.' French for 'Yes.'
(An assistant runs up between the trees)
Aide: Sir? The pilot says that Fleet is getting really insistent about talking to someone down here.
Foster: Remind him who's paying for this, and tell him we'll talk to Fleet when we're good and damned ready to talk to Fleet.
(cut to Vertag's office)
Lessala: So you think they're in trouble.
Janet: Well….
Vertag: It's Foster. The guy that was going to stab you for rescuing him. That stabbed me for stopping him from stabbing you for rescuing him. That thought the whole rescue was a conspiracy.
Janet: Yes….
Vertag: Yeah, I'm in a real big hurry to save him.
Janet: Please? For me?
Lessala: Come on! It'll be fun!
Vertag: What? Wait, we can't both go.
Lessala: Sure we can. It's a rescue. Never mind Foster, you have to save all the other little people on the shot.
Adams: Shoot. The shoot.
Lessala: And maybe, when we find him, you can jump out from behind a tree and shout 'Gotcha!'
Janet: Oh, he'll love that.
Vertag: Have you thought about how we're going to get there? No flights to the middle of nowhere.
Adams: Well. Not NO flights…
(Cut to the cargo hold of the Inflict. Lessala and Vertag lay across the floor, dressed out in parachute gear. Vertag's is First Nation, slightly more advanced than Lessala's Second Nation issue. Perez and a number of Marines have their own way futuristic gear and stand to the side. One Marine stands before the two giants' faces.)
Gunny: Now, I am the jump master for this ship, you will obey my instructions or I will find a ladder big enough to kick both your asses.
Vertag & Lessala: Yes, Gunny. (Fade to black)
(Fade in on a large beetle crawling through leaf clutter. It passes the craft table for the Vernon, PI shoot, waves feelers at the food. A cook waves him off by flapping his apron at it. It's about half the size of the Earthling.)
Cook: Get outta here!
Gaffer: Hey, man, leave the thing alone. This is its home, we're the intruders.
Cook: You want beetle slobber on your donuts?
Gaffer: Well, no, but…
Cook: Then help keep the damned thing away from the food.
(Follow the beetle as it wanders past some cameras, a big light, a golf cart, some people practicing lines, a make-up table. It leaves the Earthling-occupied area and crawls over a tree root. Beyond the root, three other beetles stand still on the side of the tree, apparently watching the shoot.)
(it continues past them, wandering through over branches and through leaves. A few more beetles are seen here and there. Finally it finds a crack in some rocks and slips inside. The scene goes black for a moment, then lights up)
(Torches are jammed into rocks here and there, providing dim light for a gloomy spot. A beetle has a torch held in its mandibles and stands upright, lifting the light high. Another beetle stands beside it and chitters. It pauses and offscreen beetles chitter back. The camera pulls back and down to show that the speech making beetle stands on a giant's skull. A few thousand beetles swarm around it, chittering. They chitter angrily if that's possible to convey)
(Cut back to the service table)
Cook: Dude? You hear that? It's like…chittering.
Gaffer: Angry chittering… (Fade)
(The sun rises and starts to shine on a large island in the wide ocean. Way, way up in the sky, the landing ramp of the Inflict drops open and two giant forms tumble out)
(Lessala's chute opens, a big round dome. She pulls at her rig, aiming for a spot at the southernmost end of the island. She lands rough, rolling across the sand towards the tree line. Finally stands up, starts to roll the chute up. As she does, a shadow crosses her. She ducks and Vertag just misses her. He lands less roughly, stays on his feet, but at a velocity that forces him to run. He stops by bouncing off of a tree.)
Lessala: Y'okay?
Vertag: M'great. Just great. (They wrap up their gear and step towards each other. Perez and three other Marines with rather bat-wing looking chutes drift into view. As the giants watch, the Marines spiral around their heads and come to gentle stops on the ground. They collapse their gear. Perez looks smug) Well, sure. If I weighed as much as a cookie, I'd be graceful in a breeze when…
Lessala: Oh, don't be jealous. You'll never be as graceful as the Major.
Perez: Thanks, Lessala.
Vertag: Whatever. Let's get started. How about we circle the beach, look for a game path?
Lessala: Sounds good. Unless….?
(Perez looks at a technician who's waving a sensor of some sort. Tech shakes her head)
Perez: Nope. Nothing from the ship. (The giants pick up two Marines apiece and start jogging up the beach)
Lessala: Hey, Vertag? What did you tell Dordell, so that we could both leave?
(Cut to the front door of the compound. A hand-lettered sign says "Coastal City Exchange closed until further notice. The Little People are quarantined due to exposure to Spring Fever.")(Fade)
(Deep in the forest, the trees are still. Thrashing sounds interrupts the silence.)
Vertag (offscreen): Are you sure this time?
Perez (offscreen): Yes.
Vertag (staggers across some tree roots into view): Okay-aaaah!
Perez: (In his pocket) Aaaaah! Just watch your footing! I'll navigate. (she waves a sensor and points) Over…there.
Lessala (stepping easily over the roots): Are we there yet?
Vertag: Don't make me turn this island around…
Lessala: You wouldn’t dare.
Vertag: Try me! I'll-
Perez: Hey, giant. There.
(We see a spaceship. Sort of on the Spindrift design, but larger and more utilitarian. One landing strut seems to have collapsed and it's tilted to one side. The giants step up to it, looking around and around)
Lessala: I don't see anyone.
Vertag: I don't hear anyone. You'd figure, I got within a few steps of Foster, we'd hear him protesting.
Perez: Down. (Vertag looks down at his feet) Put. ME. Down.
Lessala: Oh. (Lowers her two Marines to the ground. Vertag adds his, they run up to the canted door of the ship and enter, weapons drawn)
(From inside, see gloomy spaces with only dim emergency lamps lighted. The squad ghosts through the quiet, still compartments. There are a few giant bugs here and there, no beetles. Equipment's off except for a few blinking lights, all of the red or yellow)
(The Marines poke around, finding dented doors and burst locks. Perez stops and pokes at something on the ground. She uses the end of her rifle to lift a scrap of clothing. It's torn, with blood spatter)
Perez: Something bad happened here.
(Outside, the giants draw their weapons and start scanning the flora)
Lessala: Bad how?
Vertag: And how bad?
(Inside) Perez: There are no people, no sign of people. But signs of violence.
Marine1: (standing beside an open storage locker) They issued weapons.
(Outside, Vertag shifts his stance. We hear a crunch. He looks down. There is a pile of Earthling weapons in the mud. Most are broken)
Vertag: They issued them, but they lost them.
Lessala: Something big enough to threaten Earthlings, but small enough to wrestle them out of their ship.
Vertag: (looks at his pistol) Something tells me we should have packed a flamethrower. (Lessala looks around wide-eyed)
(Cut to a view of a lake. There's a small island in the center. The view drops down to the shoreline. There's a causeway made of piled stones (no mortar, no road lining) sticking out from the shore, pointed at the island. Earthlings carry rocks to the end of the shoreline and drop them. They turn around and the camera turns. There is a line of Earthlings stretching to and from the tree line. They carry rocks out, dump them, turn around and go back for more. Beetles crouch along the line of Earthlings.
(A human stumbles and the nearest insects hiss threateningly. Other humans help the stumbler back into line and up the path.)
(At the edge of the water, Foster tries to speak to the beetles.)
Foster: I'm just saying, if we could get back on the ship, we have power tools. We could make a raft bridge in a fraction of the time. (Beetles hiss) Look, whatever you want out there- (Beetles hiss louder)(Jamie steps out of the line and grabs Foster by the elbow)
Jamie : Sir? They're not listening. You're going to get hurt.
Foster: But this is so…futile! They should-
(The sound stops. The view of Foster changes slightly, becomes a view through binoculars. He waves his arms, beetles crouch close, Jamie pulls him backwards)
Vertag: (voice) What the hell are they doing?
Perez: (voice) He's arguing with insects.
Lessala: (voice) And losing.
(A few other people help Jamie, pull the boss along the path for more rocks)
Vertag: (voice) No, no, what's the whole effort? A bridge?
Lessala: (voice) They're trying to reach that island.
Perez: (voice) What for?
(View pans around, seeing the guarding beetles and working humans)
Vertag: (voice) Does it matter? How long will it take them to build a bridge out of pebbles?
Perez: (voice) Too long.
Lessala: (voice) If the beetles need to get to the island, why enslave humans to do it?
Vertag: (voice) Well, they apparently can't fly.
Perez: (voice) You see that there aren't any beetles on the bridge?
(Camera pans to the causeway. Humans work alone. Beetles don't get within a few beetle body-lengths of the water)
Lessala: (voice) Yeah?
Perez: (voice) Maybe they can't swim, either.
Lessala: (voice) So how does that-
(A part of the causeway collapses, sinking into the water. Humans walking on it fall or spill into the lake. Beetles get agitated, but don't go onto the stones. Humans swim safely back to the rocks, start dropping rocks into the hole, wading through the water back to the trees)
Perez: (voice) I have an idea…(Fade out)
(Fade in on the causeway, several hours later. Humans are staggering along as the sun starts to set)
Gaffer: Are they going to let us sleep?
Marseilles: They haven't yet.
Gaffer: Think they'll get the hint when we start falling-
(Rocks under them shift, seven or eight people fall into the water. They thrash around for a bit then swim/wade back to dry stone. Marseilles is one of the last ones in the water. She and the person next to her help each other over the rocks.)
Marseilles: Thanks.
Perez: No problem.
(The camera pulls back a bit, showing a soggy Perez helping the woman up.)
Perez: So. What can you tell me about what's going on, here?
Marseilles: What...? You're not on our shoot!
Perez: Shush. Now. What's going on?
Marseilles: You can't crash a shoot! This is a union gig!
Perez: Miss! Focus! Never mind Vernon, P.I. I'm with the Marines. We're here to help!
Marseilles: You're…you're the character I play! Martinez!
Perez: Perez. Now, about the beetles….
Marseilles: I've been hoping to meet you! How do you imagine yourself with respect to the giant you often partner with?
Perez: As David. Can we do this AFTER we rescue you?
(Cut to Vertag walking slowly through the woods in deepening gloom)
Vertag: Are we ready?
(Cut to Perez on the causeway. People mill about her)
Perez: We're ready.
(Cut to a small tree floating on the lake)
Lessala (voice): I'm ready.
(Cut to Vertag)
Vertag: Then let's get started. (Pulls a fly swatter from his belt, walks around a tree)
(Cut to Perez. She points into the distance. Over her shoulder we see Vertag walk into view, slapping beetles here and there.)
Perez: Everyone onto the bridge! (Earthlings drop rocks and start running. Half the horde of beetles start rushing across the ground towards Vertag. The other half crowd the Earthlings.)
(Cut to the tree. It starts floating through the water, pushing towards the causeway.)
Lessala (voice): Rescue Raft number one moving into position.
(Cut to Vertag)
Vertag: Die! Die! Damn, these things are worse than those electronified rats.
(Cut to Perez. She and two of her Marines stand at the end of the causeway, pushing people behind them and down to the end.)
Perez: Good news! The beetles are actually herding people this way!
Marine2: They may think of this as a holding cell. Inescapable because of the water.
(Cut to the tree. Some of the branches have been trimmed and we see that Lessala is hidden underneath them. She looks through the remaining branches as she kicks towards the shore)
Lessala: Well, we'll show them, won't we?
(Cut to Vertag, who slaps at his legs more often than the ground)
Vertag: OW!! Hey, I gotta get out of here. (Starts backing down the shore. A carpet of beetles swarms towards him) Ouch!
(Cut to the Earthling path. Foster staggers out of the forest, harried by snapping, hissing beetles. As the crowded humans move to the shore, more and more beetles peel away and start towards Vertag. Jamie staggers along beside him)
Jamie: Hey! Looks like they hate the giant more than they want the bridge.
Foster: Well, I guess they aren't all that bad, then.
(Cut to the end of the causeway furthest out. The third Marine is waving people from the crowded stone pile into the water, towards the tree. They swim out, climb out of the water and onto the branches. Lessala steadies the tree in the water, picks up a few exhausted swimmers and places them carefully on higher branches)
Lessala: Welcome to Rescue Raft Number One. Please move as high as possible to make room for other refugees. There is no smoking, no lighting of fires and no whittling allowed. If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable during the cruise, you're pretty much out of luck.
(At the shore end, the last few Earthlings rush up. A small horde of beetles cordons the end of the bridge. Perez and her crew form their own line, backing slowly down the last of the cast. A distant yelling is heard swiftly approaching. Vertag runs past, boots crunching on as many beetles as he can. He dopplers into the offscreen distance.)
(Focus on one beetle running along behind Vertag. The giant reverses course and runs over the horde again. The beetle turns around, face passing the lake. It stops. We see it stand up and gaze out at the tree. It lifts its head and starts chittering urgently.)
(The running horde stops chasing Vertag, turns as one mass to face the causeway. They scurry towards it. The mass pauses at the end, then rushes forward)
Perez: Grenades! (The three lob explosives that explode. Beetle parts go everywhere, that section of the causeway collapses, water rushes in. The horde pauses longer. Then they chitter and swarm forward, wading through the water.)
Perez: Again! (Same action, same result, bigger pause but they repeat)
(At the other end, the last half dozen Earthlings reach the end. The Marine shouts)
Marine3: Swim to the tree! I gotta help cover our escape! (turns to run back up the causeway, a bag of grenades over her shoulder. Explosions sound in the distance)
Jamie: Let's go!
Foster: You go! (other humans go)
Jamie: Come on!
Foster: I… I can't! I can't swim!
Jamie: I'll help you!
Foster: No. No, you've barely got the strength to save yourself as it is. I'll… I'll be fine.
Jamie: Foster, I… (he pushes her into the water. He turns to face the Marines and shouts) LAST MAN! (He ducks down at the side of the causeway.
Perez: Let's go! (they throw the last grenades and turn to run. Perez shouts into a radio) Inflict! We have all the humans collocated on the lake. Pick up can be immediate! (They pass Foster without seeing him, dive and start swimming.)
(Foster stands up. He waves at the tree, turns and sees the beetles swarming past the break in the bridge. He looks around, picks up a rock and prepares to fight)
(There's a loud splashing. He looks up in time to see Vertag looming over him, open hand reaching down to grab)
Vertag: Gotcha! (fade out)
(Fade in, the Inflict hovers over the lake and the tree. The tree is pushed up against the loading ramp. Marines help people climb out of the branches and onto the ramp. Vertag and Lessala pick people up and place them on the ramp. Perez moves around the branches with a bright flashlight, looking for anyone left)
Perez: I think that's it!
Vertag: Oh, I hope so. (He picks up Perez and lifts her to safety. The giants move the tree away a little bit and give it one last look) Okay. Clear? (All the refugees and crew except Perez scurry up the ramp and out of sight)
(Vertag grabs the ramp and braces Lessala as she climbs up, the follows her. They crawl up into the hold. Perez gestures and the ramp lifts)
Lessala (voice): I wonder what they wanted on the island?
Vertag (voice): We may never know. Or care.
(Cut to the shore of the island. A beetle much like the ones that enslaved the Earthlings, but of a strikingly different color, stands illuminated by the light from the cargo bay. As the ramp shuts, the light shrinks and disappears. We can't see the beetle except for glowing red spots on the end of his antennae.)
(More spots appear, indicating a huge number of giant beetles on the island)
Beetle (high pitched, chittery voice): Well. That was a close call.
-----
Roll credits
- 13
- 14
- 15
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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2