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A Matter of Honor	By : purenightshade Category: M through R > Mutant X Views: 1578 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Mutant X, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Title: A matter of Honor

Author/pseudonym: Nightshade

Author websites: http://www.angelfire.com/anime/makosmusings

Characters: Adam, Jesse

Rating: The ratings vary from chapter to chapter, but it�s intended to be NC-17

Pairing: Non-shipper, non-slash, involves original characters

Status: incomplete

Series/Sequel: series

Spoilers: As of yet, no spoilers

Disclaimers: All Mutant X characters are copyright to their respective owners. Honor and Claudia are my original characters and should not be taken or used without my permission.

Summary:A New Mutant�s powers start to evolve out of control and it�s up to Adam and the team to help put them back under control. An old friend of Adam�s returns to haunt him.

Send all comments to nightshade@catlover.com
Episode 15: Reconciliation
Adam led Claudia through the door and into Sanctuary. She looked around her with interest. She�d been here before, but had never gone through this door. The first time, she�d been unconscious and had come in through the door that led to the Helix and she�d left the same way.

�What did you want to show me?� she asked as he led her down the hall to his room.

�I can�t tell you that until we get there.� He grinned like a school boy and grabbed one of her hands. �Come on!� He raced down the hallway, pulling a startled Claudia along with him.

When they got to his room, he stopped and let go of her hand. �It�s in here,� he said, opening the door and letting her in.

She walked in and sat down on the edge of the bed while he went to his desk and pulled out a dark purple box. �What�s in there?�

He turned to look at her, shaking his head. �Are you sure you�re psionic and not a feral? You�re more curious than a cat!�

�I�ve always been impatient with surprises,� she reminded him.

He opened the box and pulled out a bundle of dark purple fabric. �After I heard about the accident, I put all of the things that reminded me of you into a shoe box. A few months later, I put them all in a nicer box.� He fingered the fabric before handing it to her. �You forgot this at my apartment.�

She unfolded the fabric. It was a long purple scarf with her initials embroidered into one end. It was the same scarf she�d worn to the party. She looked up at him, shock written all over her face. �You�ve kept it all these years?�

He sat down beside her after pulling something out of his pocket. �I found this in your room,� he continued, handing her the friendship ring he�d taken off her bedside table. �I wanted to ask you about it. I thought you would have thrown this out.�

�I have no idea why I still have it. I kept meaning to, but something kept me from doing it.� She turned the ring over in her hand. �How about you? What did you do with yours?�

He reached back into his pocket and pulled out a ring identical to the one she held only a few sizes bigger. �As much as I couldn�t look at anything that reminded me of you, I couldn�t bear to part with any of it.�

�I see.� She stared at the scarf and the ring for a time before setting the ring down and tying the scarf around her neck. �This was my favorite scarf. I�m glad that it wasn�t permanently lost.� She picked up the ring and studied it in silence for a long time.

�What are you thinking about?� he asked her after she hadn�t said anything for ten minutes.

�Hmm? Oh, just remembering when we bought these things.�

�That was a good day. You�d gotten a good grade on your Anthropology term paper and were in a good mood. It was pouring rain out, so we went to the mall for lunch.�

She smiled. �We went past a jewelry store that had just opened and I saw these sitting in the display case. We blew most of our money on them.�

�It was worth it, though.�

She looked at him. �Was it?�

He scooted closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. �To me it was. At the time, you seemed to think it was, too. Be honest with me. If it weren�t for what happened at the party, what would you be doing right now? What would your life be like?�

�What you really mean to be asking is how would I feel about you and what would our friendship be like?�

�Something like that, yes.�

She sighed and shook her head. �It�s three decades too late to be asking that question, Adam.�

�Humor me.�

�I doubt that I would hate you, as that�s purely a result of the party. We might even still be friends for all I know.�

Adam nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. �You know I still consider you to be my friend.�

She snorted, pushing his hand away. �That�s it? Just a friend? Keep in mind that I know exactly how you feel.�

�You don�t strike me as being particularly ready to deal with that on top of everything else in your life. I don�t want to hurt you.�

�It�s your turn for some honesty here. What do you want?�

He swallowed nervously. He cupped her chin in one hand, his thumb gently caressing her lower lip. �I have to apologize first. I mislead you earlier when I said I wanted to hold you as badly as I did. Holding you is up on my list of things I want to do, but it�s not what I really want.�

�You lied to me?�

�Not really. I did want to hold you and I still do. There is something I want more than that.�

�And that would be what exactly?�

He leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. �Something along those lines,� he whispered and pulled back.

She froze, eyes wide, not knowing what to make of this. The Adam she remembered was always a coward when it came to women. He never would have done anything even remotely like what he�d just done. Her mind quickly cycled through all of the bad things that had ever happened to her caused by men over and over again until all of the images blurred into one.

�What�s wrong? You�re trembling.�

Brought out of her thoughts by Adam�s voice, she brought her hands up to her face. They were shaking as he�d said. It was oddly fascinating to watch. It had been a few years since the last time this had happened.

�There�s nothing wrong.�

�You�re a bad liar.�

�There�s nothing wrong, Adam,� she insisted. �Really, I�m fine.�

He touched her hand and she flinched. �Are you sure about that? What is it? You can tell me anything. I�m here for you.�

Wordlessly, Claudia pulled part of her shirt up to show the burn marks from when Ashlocke had tortured her. �I�ve had nothing but bad luck when it comes to men,� she started. �When Ashlocke took me, he drugged me into unconsciousness. He woke me up and tortured me with one of those electric shock machines. That�s how I got these burn marks. Some of them, anyways. Some of these are older. It wasn�t the first time I�d been tortured, but it was the worst. When he finished that, he gave me another drug, one that paralyzed me. I couldn�t even use my powers to stop him.�

�Claudia�� He touched her shoulder lightly. She didn�t pull away or shrug him off, so he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her. �It�s ok. Just cry if you need to.�

Like flood waters bursting through a weak dam, all of the hurt and pain and loneliness from the last thirty years of her life came rushing out in a stream of hot, salty tears that soaked into Adam�s shirt. He whispered reassurances into her ear as she cried. Hours later, when her tears were spent, he lay her down and covered her with a spare blanket before lying down next to her. Her breathing pattern changed. It was like when they were in the abandoned warehouse, like the breathing of a deep sleeper, only Claudia didn�t sleep.

He fingered the ends of her hair. He hadn�t given it much thought before, but the short hair suited her. Still, given the choice, he would rather see her with the long hair of her youth. Something on her neck caught his eye. He brushed her hair out of the way, revealing an old burn mark similar to the ones she�d shown him.

He brushed his fingers over the spot, causing her to wince and mumble incomprehensibly before rolling onto her other side. The way she was lying was the way she used to lie in her sleep. She�d fallen asleep at his house once. She was bigger now, but the posture was the same. Even the mumbling was the same. Experimentally, he picked up one of her hands and let go. It flopped to the mattress. She mumbled again and rolled over. This action moved her a little closer to him. He froze, not sure what to do. On the one hand, he wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her. On the other, would that really by such a good idea?

Adam sat up and looked down at her. No. I think it would be best if I don�t. I don�t want to start her up again just when she seems to be starting to lighten up towards me.

He got up and sat down in the chair at his desk, picked up a book and tried to read. After reading the same page four times, he got up to get something to drink and a glass of water for Claudia for when she woke up. Despite her saying otherwise, he was positive that she was asleep.

He set the glass down on the bedside table and sat back down in his chair to wait. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and opened them to see Claudia propped up on one elbow looking at him with an amused look on her face.

�I think you fell asleep,� she observed.

�I�m not the only one,� he retorted. �I don�t claim to know anything about this meditation of yours, but I do know what you look like when you�re asleep and that�s what you looked like lying there.�

�I told you about the sleep thing.�

�I know. Tell me, do you mumble and roll around in this meditation?�

She blinked in surprise. �No. I curl up into a ball and stay there the entire time.�

�So you were asleep. How do you feel?�

�Drained. Likely that�s from the crying I did earlier.�

�That�s normal.�

�I know that!� she snapped. �Sorry. Defense mechanism.�

�It�s ok. I brought you some water if you want it.�

�I found it. Thanks. That was very considerate of you.�

�You�re welcome.� An awkward silence fell on the room as they sat and stared at each other, neither knowing what to say to the other.

�This is ridiculous,� Claudia said, shaking her head. �I�m forty-nine years old and here I am having this conversation with you. We�re both acting like people thirty years younger than us.�

�You�d think that this would get easier with age, wouldn�t you?�

�To be honest, I wouldn�t know. This is the only time I�ve ever been in this kind of situation.�

He stared at her. �What are you saying here?�

�One of the by products of that party was an inability to interact with men on any level other than friendship. Other�experiences of mine only added to that.�

�Claudia, have you been�� he choked.

�Raped? Yes, twice. Maybe three. I�m not sure about one. It was implied by never confirmed. It hasn�t been a pleasant life. I can�t complain about my job. I teach at the university and go on the occasional dig, but it�s the latter part that put me into a position where that was a risk. Like I said, Ashlocke wasn�t the first person to torture me. I was on a high risk dig in the Middle East shortly after the Gulf War. I made a miss step and was arrested by the local police. They tortured me to find out who I was and what I was doing there. When the American Embassy got word that I was being held there, they arranged for my release. I think that�s when the first one happened, but they kept me so pumped full of drugs that I don�t remember a lot after the first couple days.

�The second one was what really kept me away from men. I decided to trust one of my colleagues at work against my better judgment.� She gave a short, bitter laugh. �I really should learn to trust my own instincts more. Anyways, we went out a couple times. Movies, dinner, that sort of thing. One night I gave in to his invitation to come over to his place to update our catalogue of artifacts. We worked on that for a while before he brought out a bottle of wine, knowing full well that I never drank. He had some, enough to get a little drunk. He offered again and I refused. This made him angry. You can probably guess the rest.�

�What about the third one? The second one that you know for sure about?� Claudia turned away, unable to look him in the eye. �Wait. Was this one me from the party?�

�I don�t count that one, as I�m not so sure about that night anymore.�

�That�s a bit of a relief, actually, but if it wasn�t me, then who was it?�

�If I tell you, you�ll fly off the handle.�

He got up and sat beside her. �Just a name and when it happened. That�s all I want to hear. I promise I won�t run off and try to hurt him.�

�Don�t make promises that you won�t be able to keep.�

�I�ve never broken any of my promises to you. Not while in possession of all of my faculties anyways.�

She sighed. �Have it your way. It was Ashlocke.�

Rage flooded through him. He immediately jumped up to his feet only to be forced back down again. He looked at her.

�Yes, that was me using my powers. You see what I mean?�

He looked ill. �I see why you were so reluctant to tell me. He tortured, drugged, and raped you? Why?�

She nodded, hot tears falling down her cheeks. �There was nothing I could do to stop him. He kept saying something about taking revenge on someone out on me. I can only assume he was talking about you.�

�Me? Why is he doing this? Kidnapping you to get to me and doing those things to you. What does he want?�

�From what he was asking me, it�s possible that he was after you for the same reason I was: to kill you. Incidentally, you�re in no danger from me anymore.�

�I�m glad to hear it.� He swallowed. �As much as I hate and regret it, I promised, so I won�t go and hunt him down.�

�Don�t send Mutant X after him either.�

From the guilty look on his face, he�d been planning just that. �Do you have a better idea?�

�Back at the house, after we had that talk, I called Skyler and had her dig up what she could on the Strand and set one of the Underground mutants to keep tabs on their activities. I trust these people, Adam.�

�If you trust them, that�s good enough for me. Are you going to be ok?�

�I don�t know.� She slid down to the floor and tucked her knees under her chin. He joined her. �I�ve spent thirty years hating you. That�s a big part of my life.�

�Do you still hate me?�

�A little, yes, but that�s just for not telling me about your feelings.� She shrugged. �I feel a little lost.�

�Need some help?� he asked, offering her his hand.

�Not the kind that you�re offering. How can you even ask me that in light of what I�ve just told you, especially knowing what my life has been like?�

�In the end, it all comes down to two things. The first being that this is really all my fault. I wasn�t the one who drugged you and it�s quite possible that I was drugged as well, but that�s no excuse for doing the things that I don�t remember doing. The second being that I don�t want to loose you. You know how I feel. I want my friend back. Yes, I�m being selfish, but in this case I don�t care. You were the one stable element in my life.�

She smiled sadly and touched his cheek. �Adam, you were a sweet boy and it doesn�t look like that�s changed. You�re intentions are good, but I can�t. If a lot of the things in my life hadn�t happened, I might be more open to that possibility, but what�s done is done. The past can�t be changed.�

�Will you at least stay? Or are you going to vanish again?�

She pulled her hand away. �I have a life here, Adam. I have my students to teach and Honor to look after, even though she�s quite old enough to do so herself. She likes to have some else around as she gets lonely very easily.�

�I hate to bring this up, but she does have Jesse now, too.�

�That�s still up in the air, really. She likes him, but who knows how long it�ll last?�

�Jesse does have the worst luck with women and relationships,� Adam conceded. �Let them deal with it. It�s their lives after all.�

�If you�re implying that I would interfere with them in any way, you are very sorely mistake, Adam Kane,� she growled.

He laughed and poked her in the ribs. �I wasn�t, but your reaction was really funny.�

�Oh sure. Make fun of me now.�

�That was the plan.�

�You are so dead!� She swung herself over, landing in his lap, and reached out and dug her nails into his ribs. �I still remember where you�re ticklish spots are,� she said triumphantly as he burst into hysterical giggles.

�Stop that!� he gasped.

�Never! This is payback.�

Getting himself under some sort of control, he got his hands on her sides where he knew she was vulnerable. �You forgot. You�re more ticklish than I am!�

Claudia was laughing so hard that she couldn�t concentrate on her own attack. In her moment of distraction, Adam easily knocked her off onto the floor. He straddled her, pinning her arms to the floor, panting. He leaned forward with a wide grin on his face. �Give up?�

�Adam, get off me before I toss you off.�

�Pardon?� he asked, taking a good look at how they were positioned. �Oh, damn. I�m so sorry. It�s just such an automatic reaction to you tickling me. Remember?� He got up and helped her to her feet.

�Oh. Right, I�d forgotten. I�m sorry, Adam. I didn�t mean to snap.�

�Yes, you did. Defense mechanism and all that. It�s alright. I reacted without thinking.� He went down on one knee and took her hands. �Is there someway I can make up for my mistakes?�

She looked down at him, her eyes sparkling. �Oh, I think I can come up with something. For now, I think we should head back to the house. The others are probably wondering where we went. Your teammates probably think I�ve killed you in some horrible, gruesome manner.�

�You�re right about that.� He stood up. �Let me know when you come up with something.� He headed for the door.

�You forgot something, Adam.�

He turned around. �What�s that?�

She walked over and looked up at him. She stared at him for a moment before she grabbed his hand and put something in it before going up onto her toes and kissing him lightly on the cheek the way she had when they were kids. His eyes widened and he stared at her dumbly, turning to follow her with his eyes as she walked out of the room.

When she was gone, he opened his hand. She�d put his friendship ring there. He stared at the door, unsure as to what to do now.

�If you�re finished being shocked, put that thing on and get your ass out here. It�s not a long drive to get back to the house, but the sooner we get going, the better of we�ll be,� she called to him from the hallway.

He shook his head and smiled, putting the ring on the middle finger of his left hand before following her out.
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A Matter of Honor