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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2	By : keithcompany Category: G through L > Land of the Giants Views: 1504 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the Land of the Giants show, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
(In the Exchange office, Lessala wheels a cart into the Tank room. The cart has a large tank that holds the surviving cast and crew of Vernon, P.I. location shoot. They crowd the glass walls and look around. Vertag stands beside the Tank)
Lessala: And next on the tour, the Tank.
Vertag: Some of you have been here before. I'm not sure what Mr. Foster told you about it? (all Earthlings turn to stare at the corner, where Foster sulks) Well, anyway, this is temporary housing for any humans collected by or delivered to the Exchange.
(There are four humans in the Tank. They stare out at the tour in confusion.)
Foster: Hostages for technological extortion.
Lessala: Buddy, it's the humans that thought up the exchange. If there's any extortion going on, you're either doing it, or you set yourselves up for it.
Vertag: Anyway, politics aside, the Tank has dormitory style living quarters for up to a thousand Earthlings. There are rooms for anywhere between two and twenty occupants, showers, food and water facilities. Over here…
(Lessala moves the cart to the other end of the Tank.)
Vertag: We have the greeting line. There are a number of interview desks where anyone from the Marine contingent can communicate with an individual or family in the Tank. It starts the process of identifying them and getting word to their families back home.
Lessala: And if they've been here for long, they can start catching up on Earth news, gossip and so on.
Vertag: The current policy is for humans to spend at least two weeks in the Tank.
Jamie: Two weeks? But don't the shuttles come down once a week?
Lessala: Yes, but the delay gives SID time to circulate the pictures of them through all the agencies that might have a vested interest in identifying departing troublemakers.
Vertag: Some of you Earthlings have been quite the handful during your stay here.
Marseilles: Handful. That's funny.
Foster: Don't encourage them!
Lessala: Do you think we can cut that short in their case?
Vertag: I'd like to-
Jamie: Their case? OUR case?
Vertag: -but policy is policy. And that's why they're here.
Jamie: For…a tour?
Foster: Oh, don't be naïve! The giants have their chance to have us back in their clutches-
Lessala: Clutches? I don't even want to touch you.
Foster: -and for all my efforts to expose their cruelty, their vanity and their basic inhumanity-
Vertag: Anyway, it's part of the agreement. You guys aren't here with my or your government's permission, so technically you're feral humans.
Lessala: So, you're our guests for two weeks.
Vertag: And we get technology credits for turning you over.
Jamie: I don't want to go in the Tank.
Vertag: Would you like to go back to the beetle island? (The Earthlings stare at him, the look at each other)
Marseilles: Dibs on a semi-private!
(The giants connect a clear tunnel between the Tank and the cart. Humans cross over, some taking Foster by the arm. He continues to rant, threatening lawsuits and dire consequences.)
Lessala: Oh, I'd like to meet your process server.
(Down in the greeting line, Janet and Perez stand on the garrison side and watch the proceedings)
Janet: You'd think, at some point, Foster would realize just how foolish it is to threaten someone the size of a building?
Perez: (shrugs) I dunno. He was apparently ready to die on that causeway to cover the escape for the rest of us. For that, I'll forgive a little bluster.
Janet: Is that why Vertag hasn't squashed his mouthy butt into the dirt?
Perez: You'd have to ask him… But he did keep asking if Foster was okay on the flight back.
Janet: Huh.
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Roll Titles
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(A giant jeweler slides a jewel case into a slot in a safe, closes the safe and spins the dial. He turns off the lights and goes out of the back room, through the front of the shop and out the front door. The camera POV stays in the shop, watching him outside the glass of the door. He locks the shop behind him, then turns and walks down the street. Just before he goes out of sight, he nods at someone out of sight. A cop passes him. The camera follows him across the front of the shop window, pausing to shake the doorknob of the shop door, then continuing past the other shop window until he passes out of sight.)
(The camera pans back across the store, into the back room, to the safe, going down the face and crossing over to the hinge side. Down at the floor, there's a small crack in the wainscoting. Three enlisted Marines poke their heads out. Hare a large male, Knox a wiry female, Burke an angular male)
Hare: He's gone.
Knox: The place is ours. For what that's worth.
Burke: Worth your weight in diamonds, that's what it's worth. Come on!
(They have giant-made refrigerator magnets duct-taped to their feet, and each grasps another magnet. They use them to ascend the safe's front.)
(Burke's feet magnets: "I (skull) Rebels!" and "Wolves hunt, Dogs eat!" He holds one with a red circle/line through a stylized image of a Raven. Knox's three show: dice, a hand of cards (Dead-Man's hand, of course), and a spider. Hare's three all display the number 12.)
(Hare stops at the first hinge and starts packing plastic explosive around it. Knox continues to the second, Burke up to the top one. All quickly apply their explosives.)
Hare: (as he packs) How many of them do we take?
Burke: (still climbing) As many as we can carry.
Knox: (Still climbing) How many do you think that is?
Burke: I haven't a lot of experience with jewels the size of my skull. We'll see.
Knox: But how many can we get home?
Burke: More than you'd expect.
Knox: (reaches her hinge, starts packing) Have it all worked out, have you?
Burke: Oh, trust me.
Hare: He'll come through. Burke always comes through.
Burke: Hare and I have been running the floating crap game for years. Between people that owe us money or favors-
Hare: Or that we can blackmail.
Knox: (close up, winces as she puts a detonator in place) Like me.
Hare: (giggles as he finishes and starts to climb. We see his POV as he stares up at Knox's ass above him) Oh, yeah. Just like you.
Burke: Anyway, yeah. We have enough associates to smuggle just about anything home.
Knox: Wonderful. So any profit is going to be spread out between a few hundred willing and unwilling partners? (she finishes and moves to climb. She pauses as she hears Hare chuckling under him)
Burke: Let me repeat, diamonds the size of your head.
Knox: Get away from me.
Hare: Sure. (climbs past her) Nothing here I haven't got on my iPod anyway.
Knox: Jackass. (they climb past Burke, who finishes and joins them. They go up and climb on top of the safe.)
Hare: Safe popping time. (Burke readies a trigger, Knox leans over the edge and looks at the explosives.)
Knox: Is that enough explosive, Burke?
Burke: It's plenty, Knox.
Knox: It doesn't look like plenty.
Hare: We have blown a safe or two, babe.
Knox: Bite me. But seriously, how do you know it's enough?
Burke: The giants are twelve times as big as we are. So I used twelve times as much explosive.
Knox: Wait, that-
(Burke pulls the trigger. The explosives go pop. When the smoke clears, the paint is barely, lightly scorched. No damage.)
Hare: What happened?
Burke: Just wait. It's like blowing a dam. A slow motion result.
Knox: I don't think so. Hey, what was it they said during training? On the flight over?
Hare: You'd have to ask someone who went.
Knox: What was it… They're twelve times as tall…and twelve times as wide…and twelve times as thick. So the giants are…
Burke: Um…thirty six times as big?
Knox: That doesn't sound…
Brown (offscreen. Voice): You'd think a gambler like you could do better with math. (the thieves turn. Brown stands on a shelf above and to the side of the safe. He has his pistol aimed at them.)
Burke: Oh. It's one of the giant's pets. The nerd. I was worried for a second there.
Brown: You're under arrest for violating the Exchange treaty. We'll let the Colonel figure out if there are any other charges.
Burke: Hey, if it's not twelve times the explosive or thirty six times the explosive, what should we have used?
Brown: One thousand, seven hundred and twenty-
(Hare and Burke run towards Brown and jump over the edge of the safe. Knox has a late start. Brown has a later one.)
Brown: Dammit. FREEZE! (he fires one round that ricochets beside Knox's feet. She freezes, hands over her head. He looks over the edge but can't see the side of the safe) Dammit!
Knox: Uh…so, we wait for your backup?
Brown: I didn't get any. Here. (tosses handcuffs to the safe) Put those on.
(Fade out.)(Fade in, Knox is face down on the safe, hands cuffed behind her back. Brown shimmies down a lamp cord to the safe, draws his gun and approaches Knox. Unlocks one cuff then steps back) Okay, climb down the front of the safe to the floor. Don't run or I'll drill you.
Knox: Sure you're up to it?
Brown: I may be 'just' the communications officer, but I am a Marine. (Knox grabs her magnet and walks over the side. Brown watches, eyes scanning for the other two)
Knox: So how'd you end up here, Captain?
Brown: Burke talked to so many people arranging this heist, and the smuggling, there was almost no way to miss it.
Knox: Well, he didn’t exactly 'talk' to me. I was blackmailed into this. I didn't want to be here.
Brown: Well, I'm sure the Colonel will take that into account.
Knox: Really, sir. Look, I'm being cooperative. Will you at least tell the Colonel I was cooperative?
Brown: I'm going to make an honest report, if that's what your asking.
Knox: That's all I can ask for, sir. (slides down for a bit) Where's everyone else, sir?
Brown: Ah. I'm sure that Burke thought the distraction of the film company being processed would cover his and your absence. Everyone's busy. I didn't want to bother Perez asking for a detail.
(She reaches the bottom, drops to the floor. Burke is crouched under the safe. He beckons her to come towards him. She backs away, hands over her head. ) Now what?
Brown: Over there. (he waves offscreen)
(Fade out, fade in as Brown slides down a power cord behind a table. He draws a gun just before jumping down to the ground. He walks to one side, the camera follows. We see Knox has her hands through the wires of a waste basket. The handcuffs keep her from getting out of the wires. Brown checks the cuffs)
Brown: Okay. Stay put while I find your friends. (he looks around slowly, standing outside of reach of Knox's hands or feet)
Knox: Why don't you just call the base?
Brown: I'm not entirely sure that'd be a secure call. Not with what I brought with me. And if the giants get here before I get you three in custody, you'll probably end up at SID headquarters. It won't look good for the Exchange, or the Colonel, or even Vertag.
Knox: Plus, I'd be in the hands of the giants.
Brown: Not really a big concern of mine right now, but yeah.
Knox: Well, then, good hunting, sir.
Brown: Thanks. (steps along the edge of the wall, goes behind a filing cabinet.)
(Hare and Burke crouch behind a pair of shoes in a corner of the back room.)
Hare: Wish you'd thought to bring some guns.
Burke: Yeah, we should have added the weight because the giant might have come back.
Hare: I'm just saying-
Burke: We were supposed to be schlepping diamonds by now. I didn't think something that wouldn't even scare the jeweler would be worth it.
Hare: Well, that's wrong, huh?
Burke: Shut the hell up. (they sit in silence for a while)
Hare: So, should we turn ourselves in?
Burke: What?
Hare: Well, if we're going to get off this planet, we have to go through Fleet one way or another.
Burke: You wanna live at Leavenworth?
Hare: You wanna live around here, filching food from picnics?
Burke: No….(sighs) But the only person that can actually testify against us… If we take him out, no one will be able to convict us. Or at least, it'll be harder to prove anything.
Hare: So you want me to kill him?
Burke: I think you're going to have to. Is that a problem?
Hare: (looks around. Smiles) No. No, I don't think so.
(Brown searches through the back room. Moves around the feet of a table, then a desk. Checks shadows and corners, gun out, not forgetting to look up. As he comes around the legs of a stool, Hare swings a shoelace from the giant shoes at him. It's tied around a rusty wood screw the size of Hare's forearm. The screw knocks the gun out of Brown's hand. It skitters across the floor, falling into a crack.)
Brown: OW! Crap!
Hare: Gotcha! (swings weighted rope around and around his head. Brown retreats, Hare follows)
Brown: What the hell are you doing, Hare?
Hare: What do you think? (attacks, Brown dodges)
Brown: Look, if you put that down right now, I won't add assaulting a superior- (Hare attacks again, Brown ducks behind the leg of the desk. Screw bounces off it. Hare has to recover the swing)
Hare: Figure I kill you, there aren't going to be any charges. (Another attack, Brown retreats, kicks something that rattles on the floor. It's a pencil. He readies it as a lance and lunges.)
Brown: (growls)
Hare: (bounces the screw off of Brown's shoulder. Brown staggers but keeps running forward. Hare drops the shoestring and grapples for the pencil. Gets skewered but not deeply. Grabs at that end and holds it. Brown swings the eraser end up and hits Hare in the face) Dammit! (yanks the pencil out of Brown's hands, reverses it, starts to lunge. Brown sidesteps, trips Hare. Hare goes down, slides, bounces his head off the foot of the desk. Slumps)
Brown: Finally. (looks around. Can't see the gun. Can't see Burke. Grabs the pencil. Grabs Hare by the collar, lifts him to a stagger) Come on, big guy. Let's go lay down by the wire basket.
Hare: Basket?
Brown: By the girl.
Hare: There's a girl?
Brown: Yep. Let's go see the girl. (Hare cooperates, staggers across the floor. Camera pans to where Burke comes out from under a cabinet, holding a paper clip. He drops to his knees at the crack but can't reach the gun. He takes the paper clip in hand, to bend it into a tool to reach the gun. Finds out that the giant clip is about as easy to bend as a crowbar.)
(Over at the wastebasket, Knox is now handcuffed to Hare, their arms linked through the wires of the basket. Hare sprawls on the floor. Knox looks worried)
Brown: (backs a few steps away, rolls the pencil to Knox's feet) Here. May need this.
Knox: What? Why?
Brown: If he wakes up, he might get loose by pulling the handcuff off your hand. (she stares at the hand) He's probably strong enough to break your fingers to do it. So, if he stirs… You might want to keep him from waking all the way up. (turns to walk across the floor) Don't worry about assault charges. I'll explain to the Colonel that it was self-defense. (Knox stares at her former partner, picks up the pencil)
(Brown jogs over to the desk. Finds the crack in front of it, starts looking along the crack for the gun. Finds the paperclip sitting on the floor, unbent, a bit of giant tape stuck on one end. He picks up the clip. A shot rings out, a bullet buzzes past him. He turns to see Burke leaning around the corner of the desk. Brown takes off running towards Burke.)
Burke: Aw, hell. (fires two more shots, turns and runs along the side of the desk.)
Brown: Come on out, Burke! There's no place to go! (gets to the edge of the desk, pops a look around the corner, then rounds it and runs some more.)
(Burke rounds the far corner of the desk. As he does, someone reaches out from a shadowy space between the wall and a cabinet. They shove a giant stir-stick between Burke's legs. Burke goes down. He loses the gun. It flies through the air to land in the coiled lines of an old, gray mop.)
(Cut to a view of Perez. She drops the stir-stick and runs along the wall, away from Burke. The cabinet hides her from Brown)
Burke: (looks around as he rises to his feet.) What the hell? (runs to the mop, starts searching for the gun. Brown runs up behind him, swinging the paperclip. He rings Burke's chimes. Burke snarls, swings and takes off running.)
Brown: Where the hell are you going to go, Burke? (continues to chase)
Burke: Anywhere! Until I can figure this out!
Brown: There's nothing to figure out. Except whether you want the brig or a hamster cage.
Burke: (twists around, points a finger at Brown) Oh, there's plenty to figure out. I have options. I have friends. I have-
Brown: (look of alarm) Burke! Stop!
Burke: Yeah, sure. (turns around just in time to trip over a mousetrap, twisting in the air. It snaps down. The metal bar catches him at the gut, squeezing tight. He screams, the sound dying off suddenly as he can't breathe)
Brown: Burke! (runs up to the trap. Stops and pants for a minute. Burke pushes ineffectually at the bar. His breathing is shallow and ragged) Well. That's a new one. Caught in a mousetrap while trying to escape.
Burke: Pull it…
Brown: You tried to kill me, Burke. Why would I help you?
Burke: You can't…leave me…
Brown: Oh, no. (Breathes deep) But I may not be able to free you before you suffocate. (turns around) I mean, I have to go secure the gun. And make sure my other prisoners are okay. And then I have to-
Burke: Please…
Brown: (pauses. Turns around) Say the magic words.
Burke: Please…
Brown: Nope.
Burke: Pretty…please…
Brown: (stands next to Burke. Speaks softly) Say, A nerd kicked my ass.
Burke: A nerd…
Brown: Come on.
Burke: Kicked.. (coughs, twists in agony. Blood flecks his lips, cheek) My assssss….(Brown continues to stare, not moving)….Sir.
Brown: Alright. (grabs the bar) You're not going to resist arrest after I free you, are you?
Burke: Please….
(Cut to the wastebasket. Hare looks groggy but is sitting up straight. Knox still has the pencil but doesn't look as worried. They both look up to see Burke staggering towards them. Burke holds his belly with both hands and walks gingerly. Brown follows, holding the pistol. They stop.)
Burke: Not to be uncooperative, Captain, but what now? There's one pair of handcuffs and three criminals. Who are you going to take back with you?
Brown: Oh, there's a solution. (tosses the handcuff key to Knox) That's why I use Grandpa's handcuffs instead of more modern restraints.
(Cut to the same spot but with the prisoners arranged differently. Hare stands with both of his wrists secured in the handcuffs. Burke stands on his right side, both of Burke's pinkies are trapped in the cuffs, one against the inner side of Hare's wrist, one on the outside. Knox stands on Hare's left, her pinkies trapped in the cuffs on Hare's wrist. They all show expressions of agony.)
Brown: (squeezes one last click out of the cuffs on Knox's side) Tight, huh? (they nod) Those fingers digging into your wrists? The metal pressing your fingers into his bones? You know what's cool? (they shake their heads. With his non-gun hand, he extends his forefinger and pushes up on the handcuff chain. All three of the prisoners wince and rise up on tip-toe) That's cool. Now, let's shuffle carefully to the drain and down to the Hummer. Okay?
(They start to walk slowly across the floor. Cut to down in the drain pipe. Perez is at the wheel of a Hummer. She backs swiftly down the pipe, then slows to a stop. Putting it in forward, she turns on the headlights and drives slowly down the pipe.)
(The headlights reveal another Hummer. Brown and prisoners are walking up the pipe beyond it. The unwieldy group squeezes carefully around the vehicle.)
Brown: Major? What are you doing here?
Perez: (getting out) Perimeter guards logged you going out, but not back. Thought I'd see if you needed help with anything.
Brown: (Looks from her to his prisoners) No. No, I've got everything well in hand.
Perez: And the bruises?
Brown: Uh… It wasn't well in hand earlier. (he drops the tailgate on the Hummer. Prisoners slowly mount)
Perez: Uh huh. (looks from his Hummer to her own) Well, let me back up out of your way. (climbs back into her vehicle) Can't wait to read the report, Captain. (starts the truck, pauses, leans out the window) You left everything the way you found it, right?
Brown: Uh…(Fade out.)
(Fade in to the back room of the jewelry store. Vertag paints black paint on the top hinge of the safe, covering the burn marks)
Vertag: These should be dry by 1st Day morning.
Lessala: (steps into view, squinting to read from a tiny piece of paper.) So. Hinges repainted. Shoe relaced. Woodscrew recovered.
Vertag: Pencil sharpened. (he puts the lid back on the bottle of paint)
Lessala: (makes a face at him) Like that's important.
Vertag: It was the fastest way to get rid of the blood stains.
Lessala: Oh. Okay. Uh…stir stick trashed. Magnets picked up.
Vertag: Looks like we're done. (moves to front door, Lessala follows)
Lessala: Man. Having little people is like having kids. Always have to clean up after them.
Vertag: But you wouldn't trade any of them, would you?
Lessala: No. No, I guess not. (they leave, locking the door behind them. The camera pans to the back room, circles around to the safe. Closes up on the top of the safe. Where the black plastic trigger of the detonators lays undisturbed.)
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Roll credits
- 14
- 15
- 16
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.Escape from Land of the Giants Season 2