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Infatuation	By : Ridgley-Warfield Category: M through R > MASH > MASH Views: 2024 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own MASH or the characters. I make no profit from this story.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
Title: Infatuation
Characters: Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce/ Father John Patrick "Dago Red" Mulcahy
Rating: M for Sexual Content/Language
Summary: There's a difference between seeing someone and noticing them.
Author's Note: Based on the characters from the movie. This is Hawkeye's POV. Please ignore any typos. I don't always catch them all. Thanks for reading.

It was a 14 hour drive between Crabapple Cove and Raleigh. I'd been so pumped with adrenaline of seeing Dago that the drive down didn't seem that bad, but the drive back seemed to be taking forever. I didn't mind so much, as Dago finally started talking about an hour or so into the drive, but there were better things we could be doing with our time than sitting in a car. We stopped for gas after about six hours and picked up some coffee and a bite to eat.
"Do you want me to drive for a while?" Dago offered as we ate.
"You don't have to."
"I know, but would you like me to?"
"I dunno…I've seen you behind the wheel of a jeep, I'm not sure I want you driving my car."
He smirked at me, though I could tell he was trying not to, and I handed him my keys.
"Just keep going north until you see the signs for Maine. I'm going to catch a little shut eye."
"You're taking a risk with me driving your car while you're asleep? You really are a compulsive gambler." Dago teased.
I smirked but tipped my fedora down over my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. "Crash us into a snow bank or another car and I'll kill you."
As it was, we made it into Crabapple without incident, though I hadn't slept the whole way and we'd stopped once again for gas and a piss. I'd taken over driving again and Dago had taken to looking out the window at the sights—even though it was dark out.
"This is the farthest north I've ever been." He commented, impressed by the high piles of snow on the ground.
"Welcome to Maine." I grinned, lighting up a cigarette that we ended up sharing.
As I turned on Pierce Road and drove towards the house, only the porch light was on, which told me that Mary had called Dad to tell him we'd be coming home and he'd come over to give me a beacon of light to see by. Good ol' Dad.
I pulled the car up in front of the house and turned it off, looking at Dago. "This is it. Mary's not coming home from the hospital until tomorrow afternoon, and the boys are still with my Dad, so it's just us tonight."
"Gee," Dago said, looking down towards the channel. "I didn't realize you lived right on the water."
"Yeah, it's great in the summer," I told him as I opened the door and got out of the car. "Our own little swimming hole. That's Dad's farm across the way there. You can kind of see his boat there. You'll see it better in the daylight. Come inside."
I showed Dago around the house and took him to the guest room where he'd be staying, letting him put his stuff down before we headed back to the living room. I fetched us a couple of beers turned on the tube for noise as we sat on the couch. I could tell he felt uncomfortable being here, so I slid closer to him, putting my arm around him and pulling him into a kiss.
"Relax, baby."
"I'm trying," he murmured softly, brushing his nose against mine.
He was still wearing his priestly get-up, so I stood back up and pulled him to his feet. "Come on, we're going to find something more casual for you to wear."
I led him to my bedroom, where I felt him pull against me for a moment at the threshold, realizing where we were. I laughed, but tugged him into the room, telling him to get undressed as I went to my closet. Just for a laugh, I pulled a pair of my Levi's off a hanger, tossing them to him as I found a red cable knit sweater that Mary's mother had given me several years ago and that I completely hated.
I sat on the bed and watched him undressed, sipping my beer as he stepped into the blue jeans, and fastened the button fly on the front. I grinned, admiring him standing there in my jeans, and admitting just how good he looked out of all that church garb. He pulled the sweater over his head, running a hand through his mused hair to tame it as he arranged the top comfortably on him.
"You definitely make that sweater look good," I said, hooking my finger in a belt loop and dragging him in between my legs to kiss him. He made a noise of protest and pulled back.
"Not in the room you and your wife share…please."
I nodded and let him go. He gathered up his discarded clothing and carried it back to the guest room. I set my beer on the dresser and followed him, waiting until his hands were empty before I tackled him onto the bed, digging my fingers into his sides where I knew him to be ticklish. He howled with laughter, trying to push me off or tickle me back, but years of being a football player gave me an advantage.
"Uncle! Uncle!" he finally cried, breathless and in tears.
I laughed but stopped tickling him and he grabbed his stomach, groaning and laughing all at the same time.
"I really hate you sometimes."
I grinned, then rolled him over on top of me, dragging his head down. He resisted just before our lips touched and I could see the mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked at me. My dick went to full attention.
"Fuck, I love it when you look at me like that." I groaned, pressing up against him.
Dago grinned, dipping his head down and faking me out as he teased me with his lips a breath from mine, pulling back each time I tried to lean up to meet his lips. His hand, meanwhile was undoing my belt and trousers. I finally dropped my head to the bed, realizing I wasn't going win and he laughed softly above me before finally kissing me as his hand slipped below deck and seized my cock. I groaned again against his mouth, sliding my tongue past his teeth, but he pulled away again.
"Dago…" I whined, wanting him so bad it hurt.
He nipped my ear, then my neck, then slipped down the length of my body before yanking my pants off and running his tongue from my balls to the head of my cock.
"Fuuuuuuuck…" I groaned, loving how good he was at this. He laughed again, then took me into his mouth, reducing me to little more than grunts, groans and garbled sounds of gratification. I was so close to cumming, but I wasn't ready yet. I ran my fingers through his hair, gripping the ends lightly and pulling him back until his mouth slid off my cock with a wet pop. He looked up at me, his mouth wet, blue eyes blazing with curiosity. "Fuck me, Dago."
It'd been a good year or more since he was last inside of me, so I wasn't sure what to expect as far as the pain of entry. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and pulled up onto his knees. "You're sure, Hawk?"
My only answer was to reach for the buttons on the fly of his jeans, tugging so that they popped free one right after the other. He grinned at me and pulled the red sweater off over his head. I wriggled out of my own sweater just in time to see him pushing the jeans and his skivvies down his legs. I moved so that my head was on the pillows and Dago moved between my legs. I brought his fingers to my mouth, nipping the pads of his fingertips lightly before wetting his digits.
I closed my eyes and groaned as he moved them down between my legs and in between the cheeks of my ass. Dago always knew how to distract me until I was ready to take his cock. I was so wrapped up in the feel of his teeth all over my skin that I barely registered his gentle, "Ready?"
"Uh huh…" I managed.
Dago withdrew his fingers and, seconds later, replaced them with his cock. I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me as he sheathed himself inside of me completely. He smiled softly, leaning down to kiss my lips as he slowly began to thrust in and out. The feel of him inside of me coupled with the way his cock pressed against my prostate was making it hard to breath. It felt so damn good…how had I gone an entire year without this?
When he took my cock in one of his hands, working me in time with his thrusts, I shuddered almost violently, reaching around and grasping the globes of his ass and squeezing them, trying to pull him even deeper into me. Dago thrust roughly into me, panting above me from the exertion. I dug my heels down in the mattress, pushing my ass up off the bed to try and give him better access and to meet his every thrust.
"Ah! Fuck!" I grit my teeth together, trying desperately not to cum. "Dago!"
"It's alright," he said reading my mind, his lips suddenly against my ear. He was breathing heavily and sounding close himself. "Cum for me, Hawkeye."
Though hearing Dago talk dirty during sex wasn't a new thing—he'd done it on a few occasions in Korea—it'd been a very long time since I'd heard him utter such phrases…and in that voice. The rich, sultry timbre that made the hair on my arms stand up. It was like a green light for my orgasm and there was nothing I could do to control my dick from launching cum like a rocket.
My orgasm set off the chain reaction to his and he cried out hoarsely as he came. His hand never stopped working my cock, even after the last of my cum had shot up somewhere in the vicinity of my navel and chest. Each stroke of his hand made me shudder as my dick grew sensitive to the touch, and I nearly asked him to stop before my mind exploded, but his hand finally slowed and stopped as he spent him.
I looked up at his face—his eyes were closed, mouth slightly open as he breathed heavily. There was a sheen of sweat on his brow, making his hair slightly damp. I pushed the strands off his forehead and he slowly opened his eyes, looking at me sleepily, his cheeks were flushed.
"I can't believe we just did that…" he said quietly.
"What? Had mind-blowing sex?"
"Well…yes, but I was more referring to the fact that we had it in the house you share with your wife and children."
"Dago, I swear to God, if you start with the guilt again—"
"I'm not," he cut me off, looking at me with a serious expression. "I don't feel guilty, Hawkeye; but that's the problem. I should."
"You shouldn't." I corrected. "We haven't done anything wrong."
He gave me an incredulous look, but opted not to argue and I pulled him down into a kiss.
We took a shower together, and I shaved his face and washed his hair the same way I'd done in Korea when I'd kick started our relationship. He did the same for me, though this time he didn't nick me with the razor. We got out, put on our pajamas—he put on the socks I'd given him last Christmas—and I turned out the lights in the rest of the house and tossed our beer bottles away as he brushed his teeth and finished getting ready for bed.
Though I knew I probably shouldn't, I crawled into bed with him and he rested his head against me as we linked our fingers together. After a minute, his hand grew restless and I realized he was fiddling with my wedding ring.
"Should I take it off?" I asked, feeling quite tired after the long drive and the great sex.
"Hmm?" He raised his head from my shoulder, turning his face up to look at me, but the question sank in before I could repeat it. "Oh…no…sorry, I'm just not used to you wearing it."
"Does it bother you?"
"The ring? No more than any of the rest of it bothers me."
"I wish you wouldn't let it," I sighed.
"No, it's good that it bothers me, Hawkeye." He countered. "If it didn't bother me, I would have to wonder if maybe I hadn't been possessed by the Devil in all of this. The guilt and whatever else I feel tells me that I'm doing this of my own will…not Satan's."
I raised my head off the pillow and looked at him. "You actually considered the possibility that you were possessed?"
"Don't you remember what I told you boys about demons? How sexual perversion and immorality is just one sign that a person has been possessed?"
"What about me? I don't feel guilty at all… could I be possessed?"
He looked at me seriously for a long, hard moment as he considered the question. "No. I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Because you still love your wife."
"And that means I'm not possessed?"
"I think if you were possessed by a demon, you would be swayed by much more perverse acts than fooling around with a priest. I know that probably doesn't make sense to you, but there's a difference between love and possession."
"So, Dago, if it does bother you…why do you fool around with me?" I asked, truly curious.
"Because I love you." He said simply. "Back in Korea, Sidney told me that no one chooses to fall in love…it just happens."
I placed my hand on the back of his head and drew him into a kiss. "Wiser words were never spoken."
We settled back in together and I felt him yawn. I kissed the top of his head, holding him closer and together we drifted off to sleep.
When morning came, Dago was still sleeping soundly beside me, so I slipped quietly out of bed and tiptoed out of the guest room, closing the door behind me so that if Mary or the kids came back home before he woke up, they wouldn't disturb him.
The house was warm, thanks to the radiators, but I lit a fire in the fireplace for an extra layer of comfort before going to the kitchen to make coffee. At least another foot or two of snow had fallen during the night, adding to the high pile already on the ground. I knew I'd probably have to have Dad bring his tractor over and dig my car out in a couple of days if I was going to be back in Jersey by the 4th. I was lucky in the fact that every few days he plowed our drive and all the way down Pierce Road so that we could get in and out.
As I sat with my coffee, I decided to call up to the hospital to find out when Mary would be released and who would be bringing her home.
"I figured you'd still be asleep," Mary greeted me with a teasing tone. "Or have you two even slept yet?"
"He's still asleep but I got up a few minutes ago. How are you doing?"
"I'm great. Ready to get out of here, and I dare say that they're ready for me to go."
"And the baby?"
"She's good too, hasn't been too fussy, though she's anxious to meet her daddy."
"What time do you expect you'll be home?"
"About noon. Mother is coming to pick us up and I have it on good authority that several of the ladies from the church are going to be bringing by some dishes. Also, don't be surprised if Cynthia and Patty show up before I get there. Can you make sure the house is picked up? I don't expect you to actually clean anything, but at least pick up your dirty underwear and socks, will you?"
"Anything else, dear?" I teased.
"Hmm…no I suppose not. How was the drive in?"
"A little longer than the drive down, but he offered to drive part of the way so I caught a nap."
"That's quite nice of him. How's he doing?"
I'd told Mary about Dago's friend passing away when I'd called her from North Carolina, and had told her we'd be attending the service before we headed back to Maine. "Okay, I think. I haven't really asked."
"Hawkeye," she admonished.
"What? He told me the other day he doesn't really want to talk about it. I know if it really bugs him, he'll say something. That's the way he is. So don't you go pestering him about it."
After my call with Mary, I got dressed and did as she asked, making sure the house looked up to her standards for guests. Dad brought the boys over around 10:30 and they showed me everything Santa had given them for Christmas. They were also quite upset that Santa hadn't left anything for their baby sister.
As Dad and I sat in the living room with a beer while Tommy and Charlie watched the television, Dago finally joined us, wearing the casual clothes I'd given him last night, and still looking damn good in them. I introduced Dago to my dad and the boys, and I could tell he was a little nervous about meeting my family.
"Wanna beer?" Dad asked Dago.
"No, thank you, Mr. Pierce. It's still a little early for me."
"Well ain't he cunnin'," Dad laughed, looking over at me. "Son of a howza just called me Mr. Pierce. Can't tell you the last time I heard such a thing."
"Everyone calls dad 'Big Benji' around here. I don't think anyone in Crabapple goes much on formality." I explained to Dago.
"Where about you from ennyhow, boy?" Dad asked Dago.
"San Diego. I lived there my entire life until I moved to the eastern seaboard for seminary."
"So it's true you's a preacher then?"
"Yes, sir."
"You gotta stop with that Jeesly 'sir' business now." Dad said, laughing again.
"Don't bother trying to break him of that, Dad," I smirked, looking at Dago. "It's engrained."
We sat talking for a while…well, mostly Dad was asking Dago questions and Dago was trying to understand Dad's thick Mainer accent, much to Dad's amusement.
"Whatsa matter, boy? You nummer that a hake or what?"
Dago looked completely confused at that point and finally looked to me for translation, which made both me and dad dissolve into a fit of laughter. I knew by that time, Dad was just laying it on thick just to toy with Dago. "Alright, Pop, leave him alone."
About that time we heard a car horn out front.
"What the…that sounded like a bee fart in a tin can. Who dat, Hawkeye?" Dad asked trying to see through the curtains from his spot in one of the chairs.
I looked out and saw an old 40s Studebaker next to my car. "That'd be Mary's sisters. She warned me they'd be coming over." I got up and handed my beer to Dago, excusing myself as I grabbed my coat off the rack and headed out the front door.
After another round of introductions, and another Q & A session, I could tell Dago needed a break. "Come help me bring in some more wood for the fire, Dago."
We went out on the back porch where I kept the wood stacked up to keep it dry and I pulled out my cigarettes, offering him one. He took it, lit it, and took a drag before looking at me.
"Thanks."
"How you holdin' up with all of them?"
"Why don't you have a heavy accent like they do?" He asked curiously, not answering my question. "I can barely understand your dad sometimes."
I laughed. "I do, depending on what I'm talking about, but I was the only one of that bunch to go to college. I lost a lot of the native tongue there. Don't worry, Mary doesn't have an accent like that either. She's more like you—well spoken."
"'Nummer than a hake?'" He asked, still wanting a translation.
I laughed harder. "It means 'stupid.' Dad's pretty bad about using phrases like that, but he's playing it up a lot just to tease you."
We finished our cigarettes, and I handed Dago several pieces of wood before we went back inside, just in time to see Mary's mother's car pull up the drive.
"They're here! They're here!" Charlie cried, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Tommy, Charlie," I called them both to attention. "When your momma gets in here with the baby, don't crowd them. Remember to be easy with them because the baby is little."
I donned my coat one more time, then headed outside to help Mary out of the car. She was holding a bundle of pink and white blankets in her arms, sitting in the front seat, waiting for me to open the door.
"What do you think I am, a doorman? Can't you open a door, woman?" I teased, pulling back the edge of the blanket to see the sleeping pink face of my daughter. I brushed her tiny cheek with my finger and she scrunched her face in annoyance.
"Don't touch her with your cold, dirty hands." Mary scolded, shooing me away. "Get the bags out of the back, will you?"
"Yes dear…"
Mary leaned up and kissed my lips for a long moment before she began trudging through the snow with the baby. "And don't forget the bassinette in the trunk."
I quickly gathered the bags and the bassinette, juggling them all as I hurried after Mary and her mother who were making their way up the steps. Dad was on the porch waiting to greet them and help Mary inside. I could see Tommy and Charlie's faces smushed against the window as they watched Mary carrying the baby up to the house.
Once we were all inside, everyone seemed to be talking at once, except for Dago, who was standing near the kitchen obviously feeling completely out of place. I caught his eye and gave him a smile as I set the bags down and went to Mary and the baby. She finally passed the child to me and I cradled Karen in my arms for the first time. She opened her small eyes, looking up at me and gave a great big yawn.
"Bad luck, Hawkeye," Cynthia said. "She's already bored with you like the rest of us. Don't hog her all to yourself, pass her over."
"If you please, Cyn, this is my child."
"Oh, pfft." Mary teased beside me. "I didn't see you in labor after carrying her for 9 months. Give her to Cynthia and introduce me to your friend."
I passed Karen off to her doting aunts and wrapped an arm around Mary's shoulders, leading her to where Dago was leaning against the door frame between the kitchen and the living room, looking at the scene in the living room with a mixture of interest and discomfort. He straightened his posture as Mary and I approached.
"I recognize that sweater," Mary said with a slight smirk as she eyed the red sweater.
"Oh," Dago blushed, looking down at his chest. "Yes, I'm afraid Hawkeye had to lend me some clothes. Most of the attire I own is clericals, none of which is very casual."
"It's quite alright, I assure you. It's probably the first time that sweater's even been worn." Mary stuck out her hand to him. "Mary Pierce, I'm quite pleased to finally meet you."
"John Mulcahy," Dago said, his voice trembling slightly as he shook Mary's hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Pierce."
"I think, under the circumstances, it's quite alright for you to call me Mary, John." Mary tilted her head. "Do you prefer John or Dago? Hawkeye's only ever referred to you as Dago."
"Either is fine. Most everyone calls me Dago. Hearing my given name is almost foreign now."
Mary laughed appreciatively, "Well, seeing as how my own husband can't stand his Christian name, I think I would prefer to call you John."
A moment of awkward silence fell between us as we all knew there was more to say, but in current company nothing more could be said. To my surprise, Mary took Dago's arm and led him back into the living room.
"Come, you don't have to stand over here alone. Like it or not, you're part of this family now, John."
Dago looked back at me over his shoulder and I merely grinned and winked at him. There was no arguing with Mary.
The three of us sat together on the couch, though I could sense Dago's discomfort from where I was sitting on the other side of my wife. Karen was passed back to Mary and she promptly handed the baby over to Dago, who looked mortified. Mary smiled at him reassuringly.
"It's okay, John, she won't bite you. You can't tell me you've never held a baby before."
"Only the ones that I've christened."
"What about your nephews?" I asked looking over at him holding my daughter.
"The oldest was born while I was in seminary, so I didn't see him when he was first born. The two younger children were born while I was in Tibet. They were about the same age as your two boys are now when I first saw them."
"That's quite sad." Mary told him. "Have you visited them since coming home from the war?"
"No…I suppose I ought to go visit soon." I recognized Dago's tone as one in which he had no intention of following up on and it made me wonder if there was more to the story of his homecoming from Tibet that he hadn't told me.
As the conversation shifted, I held my hands out for Karen, and Dago carefully passed her back to me just as the ladies from the church arrived with enough food to feed an entire army. Mary instructed me to help them set everything up in the kitchen and I started to wonder if I'd ever get an opportunity to hold my own child longer than ten seconds. Dago offered to help and he and I went out to unload the cars.
"I didn't realize there was going to be such a fanfare today," Dago sounded overwhelmed. "The thought of meeting your wife was stressful enough, Hawkeye, but now I've met your father, her mother and sisters, and now these people from the church…I really need a drink, my nerves are shot."
"I'm sorry they all showed up," I told him, gently ruffling his hair. "They'll be gone after lunch and then you and I can have a real drink."
"I hope I'm not being rude, but is your wife being nice to me because she has to?"
I laughed at the question, giving a brief look up at the house before I pulled him to me and brushed my lips against his, letting him go in the same instance. Had anyone been watching, they wouldn't have really known whether or not I'd just kissed him. "Believe me, Dago…Mary's not nice unless she means it. I can tell she already likes you. I mean, for one thing, you're wearing that God awful sweater her mother gave me."
"What's wrong with this sweater? It's quite nice, Hawkeye."
"It's nice on you," I smirked.
We carried in the remaining food and helped get it all set up in the kitchen before the ladies announced it was ready to be served. Mary put the baby down in the bassinette and looked over at Dago.
"John, would you like to say grace?" She shifted her attention to the church ladies, looking as though she were speaking of royalty. "He's a priest."
They looked surprised but impressed and everyone was looking at him expectantly. I watched the color rise in his cheeks. "Uh…oh…of course."
I stifled my laughter, never failing to be completely amused by his shyness, as he blessed the food and thanked God that Karen had come into the world safely and that mother and child were both doing well. I could tell that Mary was pleased by his blessing.
After lunch, the visitors began to drop off like flies. Dad was the first to go, rambling on about needing to do something on the farm, which I interpreted as needing a nap. Mary's mother and the church ladies left next, afraid of getting stranded if the snow started falling again, and shortly after that Cynthia and Patty headed off as well.
"Oh," Mary sighed as the last of the guests left. "I don't know about you two, but I need a nap! I think Karen and I are going to go lay down for a little while. You'll put the leftovers away, won't you, Hawkeye?"
"Of course, dear."
Mary kissed her finger and pressed it against my lips before she collected the baby and headed off towards the bedroom. Dago and I cleaned up the kitchen, then went outside for another smoke before we settled back in the living room. I poured us both a generous amount of scotch and we settled on the couch while the boys played on the floor in front of the television set.
"I promise, you probably won't see them again before we go to Jersey," I teased. "Well, except for Dad. He usually stops by every day."
Dago gave me a tired smile but didn't say anything.
"How is it you can stand in front of a hundred people and preach, but being in a room with a dozen people makes you nervous?"
"These weren't just people, Hawkeye, they were your family."
"Yeah, but that should make you less nervous not more."
He gave me an incredulous look.
"No one had a clue, Dago. But if you don't start to loosen up a little, people will wonder what's wrong with you. You're already too quiet as it."
Dago snorted and finished off his glass of scotch. I poured him another one and we continued to drink and watch television. I glanced over at him a few times and saw that his eyes were closed, but it wasn't until his glass started tipping sideways that I knew he was asleep. I smiled and took his glass from his fingers. His hand twitched, but he otherwise didn't stir. I sank down further on the couch and rested my own head back, closing my eyes and shortly following him into a light afternoon snooze.
When I woke up, Dago and the boys were gone, but Mary and Karen had taken Dago's place and the baby was currently suckling one of my wife's perfect tits. "Careful with those, they're only on loan to you."
Mary laughed but swatted at me. "Leave her alone. I'll nurse her 'til she leaves home if I want to."
"Oh, Christ…please don't." I yawned and wiped sleep from my eyes before moving closer to Mary and watching the baby eat. "Where's Dago and the boys?"
"Outside. They wanted to go sledding so John offered to watch them." Mary looked at me and smiled. "He really is a fine man, Hawkeye. How he ever got mixed up with someone like you is beyond me."
"You were a nice girl too, 'til you met me."
"Hmm. That is true. He's just so shy. He blushes every time anyone even looks at him."
I laughed. "I know. I had him almost broken of that back in Korea, but I guess all this time without me was enough for him to slip back into his shell. He's still a lot better than he used to be. He used to talk in barely more than a whisper, at least now he's actually audible."
"Well, I think he's adorable. Looks and personality. Though I still don't like that you've besmirched a good priest."
"You do remember he kissed me first, right?"
"Speaking of kissing…" I knew that tone.
"Oh, God…what?"
"Oh, hush, you. I was going to ask if you thought he'd mind me watching you two kiss? I'm curious as to what it looks like when two men do that."
"It's a kiss, Mary. I'm sure it looks the same as when anyone kisses. And, knowing Dago, he'd probably die of embarrassment and guilt."
"What does he feel guilty about?"
"He's a Catholic, name me something he doesn't feel guilty about." She gave me a reproachful look. "It just bothers him that you're okay with us, that I'm dividing my time between you two now…he still considers this infidelity of our marriage bed."
"Well, good for him. I'm glad he has moral values."
"Yeah, it's just too bad they're wasted on amoral people like us."
"Speak for yourself, heathen." She teased, moving the baby off her breast and covering herself again. I kissed her deeply and she smiled at me.
The front door swung open and Tommy and Charlie spilled in through the front door, red faced and panting as they peeled off their snow boats, toboggans, scarves and coats, piling it all on the floor.
"Hey!" I hollered. "You weren't raised in a barn, put your stuff away. Where's Dago?"
"He's coming," Tommy answered.
"We were racing." Charlie said excitedly.
About that time Dago came through the front door, his cheeks just as red as the boys and just as out of breath. Mary and I both laughed and Charlie pointed at him, bouncing up and down. "We beat you! We beat you!"
"You sure did." Dago laughed, shrugging out of his coat.
"Boys, go wash your hands for supper." Mary told them.
Dago came and sat near us in one of the chairs. "I wish I had their energy."
"Thank you for keeping an eye on them, John."
"Oh, sure, it wasn't any trouble."
"Are you sure you want to go to Jersey with Hawkeye? I could use a good man around the house; one who isn't always sarcastic."
He blushed deeply. "Oh…well, I—"
Mary laughed. "I'm kidding, John."
Mary had warmed up some leftovers from lunch in the oven and I helped her set the table before we all sat down together. Mary asked Dago to pray over the meal once again, which he graciously obliged her, and the majority of dinner was spent in a two-way conversation between my lovers as they learned more about each other. It was strange watching them talk. Mary had been kind to Dago from the very start—after her initial anger when I'd told her, Mary had become quite inquisitive about Dago. Now he, too, seemed to be warming up to her and coming out of his shell a bit more.
When the boys excused themselves and went to the living room to watch the television, Mary started to get up to put the food away, but Dago stopped her.
"You sit there; Hawkeye and I will clean this up."
"Mmm… yeah…I'm keeping him, Hawkeye." Mary grinned at me.
We moved into the living room and settled down to watch television with the boys and I finally got to hold Karen longer than a few seconds while Mary and Dago continued to bond over stories of pranks I'd pulled on them in the past.
"The first time I saw Hawkeye lose a patient," Dago was saying, "I could see how upset he was. He was practically in tears as Trapper took him back over to the Swamp. As chaplain, it was my duty to try and console the personnel, so I went over to the Swamp to see if there was anything I could do, but they told me to get lost unless I had a bottle of scotch on me. I didn't have scotch, but I had a bottle of cognac in my tent, so I went and got that and brought it back. I thought Trapper was going to bodily remove me from the tent, but Hawkeye took the bottle from me and started drinking. They let me stay so long as I drank with them. Pretty soon we'd finished the cognac, and moved on to their homemade swill. I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew Radar—our company clerk—was waking me up. I couldn't move and, for a minute, I thought I'd been paralyzed, but I realized that Hawkeye and Trapper had wrapped me up in gauze from head to toe like a mummy and stuck me to the cot using surgical tape. They'd also apparently hung a sign out front of the tent advertising for people to see a Pickled Priest for a nickel."
"Hawkeye!" Mary smacked my arm.
"Hey! I'm holding a baby here."
"Why would you do something like that? Not that I'm surprised, but shame on you!"
"Oh come on, we didn't hurt him. We could have tried to crucify him like we did Shaking Sammy."
"Cruci…oh, Jesus, I married the antichrist." Mary sighed forlornly, and even Dago laughed at her comment. "Do I even want to know about what you did to this Sammy guy?"
I recapped the story of Shaking Sammy for Mary; about how the man was an absolute nuisance and more of menace with good intentions than anything else. I told her how we'd tied him to the cross and made it look as if we were going to burn him alive. "Trapper threw the Molotov cocktail and we ran off, so I didn't see anything after that. But I do remember hearing Sammy screaming like a little girl, and I remember Dago being absolutely furious with us afterwards."
"I still am." Dago corrected. "After you threw the 'bomb' myself and about 6 others took a dive for it. I realized as soon as we put the flames on the rag out that it was just water. Henry nearly had you three court-martialed for that, and Sammy was in full support of it, but I was the one who convinced them not to contact the MP's."
"You should have let them get arrested," Mary said, looking at me with a heated expression. "You've done some truly terrible things, Hawkeye, but that's about the worst I've ever heard."
"Oh, come on. I did worse things in high school." I countered.
"Name one thing that's worse than immolating a chaplain on the cross?"
I chuckled, "Okay, when you say it like that, it does kind of top the list. But what about Chipmunk?"
"It's a wonder that boy ever called you a friend."
"Who is Chipmunk?" Dago asked.
"A kid I knew back in high school. He was a little on the slow side, and was really odd looking. Had this pointed face like a chipmunk. Being captain of the football team, I was pretty popular in school. Myself and my best friend 'Me Lay' Marston set the standards as far as pranks went, and Chipmunk was kind of our primary target. Even as mean as we were to him, I would help Chipmunk with his homework and stuff after school and he and I kind of became friends. After that we stopped pulling pranks on him and he several other kids started making friends with him. I guess we kind of made him popular."
Dago was shaking his head at me.
"Starting to rethink your attraction for him, aren't you?" Mary teased.
"I'm almost disappointed that nothing surprises me about you anymore, Hawkeye."
I grinned at him.
Around 9pm, Mary went to feed the baby and I went to put the boys in the bath, leaving Dago alone in the living room while we went about our normal routine. Once the boys were washed, dried and in their pajamas, I tucked them into their beds, reading a chapter of Charlotte's Web until they were both asleep.
Mary was in the bath by the time I resurfaced, but Dago was nowhere in sight. I noticed his coat wasn't hanging by the front door, so I knew he must have gone outside, and I figured he was probably having a smoke. I ventured in through the kitchen and out on the back porch, finding him sitting on the steps with his cigarette. He looked back at me over his shoulder and smiled.
"Sorry to have abandoned you." I said, sitting next to him.
"It was for a good enough reason."
"How are you doing? Had enough of all this yet?"
"No," he laughed. "It's still weird being here with you and your wife and your kids, but it's okay. Your wife is a very kind and generous woman. It's obvious she loves you very much."
"Yeah, well, I think she's starting to fall in love with you, too. I don't think she was kidding when she said she wanted to keep you." I told him with a laugh. "She adores you, just like I do."
I saw him smile softly, tucking his chin a little as he blushed. I moved my hand to his face, lifting his chin and drawing him to me until our lips met. The kiss was soft and slow and I felt his lips part before his tongue gently pushed into my mouth. His lips and the tip of his nose were cold from having been outside for the last few minutes, but his tongue was slightly warm and wet and felt so good as it leisurely traveled around my mouth.
"I love kissing you," I murmured as he pulled back gently. "I wish I never had to stop."
"We'd look a little silly being attached at the lip." He joked.
The door creaked open behind us and Mary stepped out, bundled up in a robe and her coat, her hair wrapped up in a towel. She grabbed the top of my head, pulling it back until I was looking up at her and bent down to give me a kiss on the lips. She moved over to Dago and kissed the top of his head, then sat down on the steps next to him.
"Mind if I sit out here with you boys for a while?"
"Aren't you cold?" Dago asked, surprised at Mary's lack of appropriate clothing.
"A bit, but I like it." She grinned at him. "I've always had this fantasy about making love in the snow."
Dago blushed furiously and I laughed.
"I'm sorry," Mary chuckled. "I keep forgetting you're a priest. I'll bet you've never heard such tawdry things as you have from Hawkeye…and now me."
"Oh, on the contrary. People feel it necessary to confess in absolute detail sometimes."
"Oh really?" I asked, completely enthralled now. "Examples?"
"I can't divulge what I hear in confession, Hawkeye, you know that."
"You don't have to say who, Dago…just give us a what."
"I'm not sure I can do that either." He shook his head. "A confession is strictly confidential. I'm supposed to take other people's secrets to my grave."
"Spoilsport."
"I'm not sure I could do your job, John." Mary said, taking a cigarette from his pack. Dago lit it for her. "Hearing all the things you must hear…doesn't it ever drive you crazy that you can't tell anyone?"
"Only when it involves sins that I can't absolve, or when I feel like the person could be in trouble."
"Like Painless," I said.
"Yes, like Painless." Dago nodded, looking over at me. "That's the one and only time I ever sought someone else's help with a confession."
"Painless?" Mary asked.
"Painless Pole Waldowski." I said, puffing my own cigarette. "Our dentist at the 4077th. I told you about him."
"Oh, right. The guy with the huge—"
"Yes, that's him." Dago cut her off, his face so red it was probably giving off heat.
Mary and I both laughed.
"In a true confession the priest and the confessor are in separate compartments of the confessional booth. I never see the person who confesses and they don't see me while they're confessing. It's easier to listen without bias that way, and once the confession is over you really don't think about it anymore because you have no idea who it was. As a chaplain though, I was often face to face with those who came to confession, so every time I saw them afterwards, I was constantly reminded of what they'd told me. It made it quite difficult sometimes because I would absolve them of whatever sin they confessed to, but then I would witness them repeating the same sin, in which they would come back later and try to repent again. It was a little frustrating at times."
"You should have toyed around with those people and told them that God has 3 strikes and you're out rule."
"That would have been an abuse of my power," Dago said, though he chuckled. "But, believe me, I was tempted. There are enough verses in Revelations to put the fear of God into most people, but I'll leave the fire and brimstone act to the Baptists."
Mary leaned back against the top step, looking at me behind Dago's back with a sultry expression. I raised my eyebrows at her, recognizing that she was somehow turned on by something. I knew it was too soon for her to have sex, but I found myself aroused by her arousal and wondered what she was thinking. Her eyes shifted to Dago and she nodded her head towards him, and then I knew what she was wanting me to do.
I tried not to grin impishly as I put out my cigarette slid my arm across Dago's shoulders. He looked at me curiously just I pulled him towards me, intent to kiss him. I saw his eyes go wide in shock, very aware that Mary was beside him.
"Hawk—" I cut him off with my lips against his. He tried to pull back, but I held onto the back of his head and he sighed through his nose before finally giving in and letting me kiss him thoroughly. I knew if we'd been smoking pot or drinking, his inhibitions would have been lower and he might have kissed me back more enthusiastically, but as it was he was too focused on our audience.
Dago finally broke away from my kiss and stood up, stepping off the porch, his shoulders tense as he kept his back to us. "I can't do this…"
"John," Mary said softly, standing up and taking his hand as she stood in front of him. "I want to see you two together. Really. It's okay. Look…come here…"
I watched her pull him back over to the steps, making him kneel on the step below me as she sat next to us. Mary smiled at me, grabbing the lapel of my jacket and hauling me towards her before she kissed me rather deeply. I'd instinctively closed my eyes when kissing her, but I could feel Dago looking away. When Mary pulled back, she looked at him. "Now you…go on. Kiss him."
I certainly wasn't objecting to this kind of attention, but Dago's discomfort took away from the enjoyment a bit and I wished I could reassure him. I reached up and touched his face, stroking his cold cheek with my thumb. "It's okay, baby."
He looked at Mary briefly, seeing her smile, a look of uncertainty still on his face as he put his hands on my knees, taking a deep breath, and hesitantly leaned up to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer and deepened the kiss. After a minute, Dago slowly pulled back, not meeting either of our eyes.
Mary giggled softly, "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"
"I wouldn't say that," I teased, grinning and letting my legs fall open a little bit on either side of Dago, to show them both how hard I was.
"I…uh…I should probably go to bed." Dago said, his face looking like it could melt ice.
"Oh, don't go yet, John." Mary said with a slight pout. "We'll behave ourselves, I promise."
Dago reluctantly stayed, though he stood up and chose to lean against the rail as he lit another cigarette. Mary sat on the step he vacated and leaned back against me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and we both looked at him as he refused to look at us.
"This must be very strange for you, John." Mary said softly.
"It's certainly not ordinary," he murmured, still not looking at us.
"I want you to be comfortable around me," Mary told him seriously. "You don't have to pretend there's nothing between you and Hawkeye."
"It isn't that," Dago said, finally looking at her. "I just feel that being affectionate with him in front of you is inappropriate."
"Why? I think it's sweet…and quite sexy."
Dago looked mortified as he tried to find some way to respond to Mary's comment.
I chuckled in amusement. "Tread lightly, gorgeous," I warned Mary, knowing that if she pushed him too hard, he might crack under the pressure and beat us both senseless with his Bible.
"I'm just saying," she elbowed me in the ribs, looking at him, "that it's okay if you want to hug him or kiss him or whatever when I'm around."
"I hope you'll understand if I don't," Dago told her softly, looking at us both.
He finished his cigarette, blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth and crammed his hands in his pockets as an awkward silence fell over us.
"I really should be getting to bed," he finally said in another attempt to escape the situation.
Mary sighed softly, disappointed, "I suppose we all should."
I helped her to her feet and she smiled sweetly at Dago. "Good night, John."
"Good night."
"I'll be there in a minute," I called after her as she headed for the door. I waited until she'd gone inside before I moved to Dago, and pressed him back against the rail with my body, leaning in to kiss him just as he slipped his hands inside my jacket and up the back of my sweater, making me jump. "Jesus! Fuck! Your hands are cold."
He withdrew them from my shirt with a quiet laugh. "Sorry."
"It's okay," I brushed his slightly chapped lips with mine. "You okay?"
"Not really," he said softly, burying his face against my neck. "I feel very strange about being with you in front of her. It just feels so wrong."
"I know, but it isn't. Not to us anyways. I think it excites her to see us together."
He groaned as if in agony and I couldn't help but laugh a little as I stood there holding him.
"I know you feel uncomfortable expressing your feelings with me, but does her being with me make you uncomfortable too?"
"A little," he admitted, lifting his head and looking in my eyes with a sheepish expression. "But it's perfectly natural for the two of you to show your affections for each other."
"But not for you and me?"
"Not publically."
"I hardly call Mary 'the public.'"
"You know what I mean, Hawkeye."
"I do, but I'm telling you it's okay."
"We have very different ideas about what's okay."
"Don't I know it," I laughed and kissed him. "If you ever do find yourself okay with it, let me know…I'm dying to have a threesome with you and her."
His eyes nearly bugged out of his head, "Hawkeye!"
I threw my head back and laughed loudly.
"You are utterly depraved, you know that, right?"
I grinned, "Yeah, but you were the one sucking my dick last night."
He glared at me, though his cheeks burned crimson once again. "You really are an ass sometimes."
I gave him a lingering kiss, making him breathless and weak in my arms, and as payback I slipped my own cold hand up the back of his sweater, making him gasp and arch his back. I laughed, taking my hand away and hugged him tightly.
"That wasn't very nice."
"No, but it was funny."
He gave me a light shove, muttering again about how much of an ass I was.
"Come on, baby; let's go inside. I'm freezing my balls off out here."
"Not yet, you aren't." There was a mischievous lilt to his voice and I saw that playful gleam in his eye a second before his hands went for the front of my pants.
"Oh, fuck no!" I grabbed for his wrists, fighting him off and he laughed as he fought back, trying to get at least one hand down my pants. "Dago, I swear to God I will kill you if you touch my balls with your frozen hands."
He was laughing, sounding quite pleased with himself, but stopped. "Alright, alright. I won't touch you."
"Well, just don't touch me there with those ice cubes you call fingers." I grinned and we climbed the few steps on the back porch and went inside. "The shower's all yours if you want it, babe. Unless you want me to join you."
He gave me a stern look. "I'm pretty sure I can manage alone, Hawkeye."
"Spoilsport." I said again, smirking softly as I walked with him to the guest room. "Feel free to sleep in in the morning. We probably will."
"Alright. Goodnight, Hawkeye."
I leaned in and kissed him goodnight, then went to my bedroom, where Mary was sitting up in bed, pretending to read a book. I pulled off my sweater and started to take off my pants. "How long were you watching us through the window after you came in?"
"Long enough," she smirked triumphantly, closing her book. "It's such a shame he feels like he can't love on you around me. I can see how much he cares for you and it just makes me love him to pieces."
"That's just Dago for you, honey." I slipped out of my boxers and pulled on my flannel bottoms instead, sliding in next to her in the bed. "He's completely ruled by his religion."
"It's not just a religious stance, Hawkeye," she said thoughtfully. "He's very old fashioned. I mean, you heard how he addressed everyone today, Mister this, Misses that, yes ma'am, no sir. He has manners, standards even."
"Maybe, but I think he gets all his 'standards' from the Bible."
"There's nothing wrong with that." Mary said sharply. "Just because you're a Godless wretch doesn't mean you have to mock someone else's beliefs."
"Who's mocking? It's an observation. I just think he takes the Bible a little too seriously."
"He's a priest, you idiot; of course he does!"
"You know, there's no need for name calling." I said in a pseudo hurt voice.
Mary laughed and hit me in the arm. "Oh shut up and kiss me, you stupid lug head."
"That's just uncalled for," I teased as I pulled her down in the bed and claimed her lips.

TBC
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Infatuation