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A Small Price To Pay	By : cowgirl65 Category: 1 through F > The Big Valley Views: 2768 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Valley and make no money from this.

Chapter List
- 1-ch. 1
- 2-ch. 2
- 3-ch. 3
- 4-ch. 4
- 5-ch. 5
- 6-ch. 6
- 7-ch. 7
- 8-ch. 8
- 9-ch. 9
- 10-ch. 10
- 11-ch. 11
- 12-ch. 12
- 13-ch. 13
- 14-ch. 14
- 15-ch. 15
- 16-ch. 16
- 14
- 15
- 16
Heath knew things were going to get worse for Jarrod before they got better so he made sure to tell Victoria about his brother’s fall into the pond when they got home, earning a glare from Jarrod as his mother fussed over him. But when Heath rose early and checked in on him the next morning, he found a pale and sweaty Jarrod curled up in a tight ball on his bed.
“You were right, Heath,” Jarrod told him with a wan smile. “Maybe everyone’ll think it was just the dunking I took this way.”
Heath poured a glass of water from the pitcher on the washstand and took it over. Jarrod’s hand shook and Heath helped him hold the glass steady so it didn’t spill. “You want me to bring you up some breakfast?”
Jarrod shook his head, swallowing uneasily. “No. I don’t think I could keep anything down.”
“I’ll let the family know.” Heath grabbed Jarrod’s shoulder reassuringly. “I’ll try to hold them off, but I’m sure your mother’ll be up to check on you.”
Lying back down, Jarrod didn’t even protest as he closed his eyes. “I think I’ll just stay in bed today.”
Heath patted his shoulder again before getting up. “Try to get some rest.” But as he left the room, he knew he’d have to keep a close eye on Jarrod. His brother was determined to shake the demon that had hold of him, but after watching more than one friend struggle with that same demon, he knew it might grow too strong to be ignored. It wasn’t as if he could get rid of all laudanum in the house without explaining himself; it was such a common remedy that someone would notice. And chances were Jarrod was still capable of heading into town to search out morphine or opium himself if the demon called too loudly.
There was also the rest of what happened for Jarrod to deal with, and that something Heath had a more personal familiarity with. He didn’t want to take away from his brother’s pain by telling him he’d been subjected to some of the same torture; it wasn’t just Carterson that haunted his dreams. Heath shivered at the remembered terror of his Uncle Matt taking him to the cellar; he’d never forget the pain and shame of having his child’s body used for the older man’s pleasure in that dank, dark space. But he’d gotten past it, one good thing that came out of Carterson and having to find whatever comfort you could to stay alive. The young soldier had learned that pleasure could be mutual and an affirmation of life in a place that held only death.
Heath wondered if that might help his brother to heal. What they’d done yesterday at the pond seemed to be good for Jarrod, but Heath felt a bit guilty that he might have taken advantage of a momentary weakness. He’d admired Jarrod’s trim form and handsome face more than once, but like he’d said, he’d gotten use to looking without any expectations. Then there was the fact that they were brothers, half-brothers but still kin. Heath already reckoned he was going to burn in Hell for dallying with men; it probably didn’t compound his sin that much more if he and that man shared a father. It might bother Jarrod, though, and even though he’d be disappointed, Heath could and would respect whatever his brother chose.
Maybe if he got Jarrod away from everything, from the temptation of more drugs and the prying eyes of family, maybe that would help. But he’d have to talk to Nick. They were still feeling their way out with each other and he knew he couldn’t just up and spirit Jarrod away without discussing the situation with Nick first. He would never betray Jarrod’s confidence, but from what Jarrod had told him, Nick already knew the worst.
Heath took Nick aside after breakfast. “I need to talk to you about Jarrod.”
He felt better when Nick heaved a sigh and nodded, indicating he already had an idea that something was going on with their brother. “He didn’t just take a chill, did he?”
Heath shrugged and tried to act as if things weren’t that serious. “He’s having some problems with what happened to him when he was kidnapped.” He hoped he wouldn’t have to explain too much further.
Nick glanced up at Jarrod’s window and then looked back to Heath. “What has he told you?”
“He told me what happened with Jordan.”
“Huh.”
Both brothers were silent for a few moments.
Heath spoke first. “I’ve seen things like this before, Nick, during the war. I was thinking it might be better for him to get away from everything for a few days or so, maybe just have someone around that he doesn’t know real well.”
Nick pursed his lips in thought. “You offering?”
“Jarrod and I seem to have an understanding,” Heath confirmed without going into more details. “Think we can get the rest of the family on board?”
“Not without explaining more than we want to.” The two brothers were silent again. “How about we pack up a wagon and you can get him up to the line shack on the farthest north corner? It’s actually an old cabin, so it’s pretty big. We keep it well stocked and it’s far enough away. We’ll smuggle Jarrod out of the house and I’ll tell Mother when you’re long gone.” He sighed. “Reckon Mother has some idea things aren’t right. As long as she trusts that he’ll be better with some time away after everything that’s happened in the past couple weeks, she probably won’t pry.”
Heath had his doubts, but Victoria was Nick’s mother and he likely knew her best.
Then Nick fixed Heath with a hard glare. “But you tell that brother of ours if he does anything stupid, he’ll be answering to me.”
There was something more to that statement than what was on the surface and Heath was pretty sure he knew what Nick was talking about. He hadn’t missed the fine scars on Jarrod’s arms the previous day and took Nick’s words as seriously as they were uttered. “Will do. But I’ll keep a close enough eye on him he won’t have much of a chance.”
Nick nodded, took another look at the window and clapped Heath on the back. “I’ll get the wagon, you go let big brother know the plan.”
Jarrod was still dozing when Heath snuck back into his room after packing his own gear, but he didn’t look comfortable. He was shivering, his hand was twitching and Heath almost didn’t have the heart to wake him, even though he knew Jarrod’s sleep was anything but restful. He gently shook Jarrod’s shoulder. “Hey,” he said softly and Jarrod started awake.
“Heath? What…?”
“I’m getting you out of here,” Heath told him as he pulled out some of Jarrod’s clothes and tossed them on the bed. “Why don’t you put these on?” He was gratified to see Jarrod pull off his sleeping pants and follow his instructions as he packed more clothes and other necessities into a bag.
“I’m not sure I understand,” Jarrod said as he fumbled with his shirt buttons.
“Things are just gonna get worse before they get better,” Heath told him, voicing his thoughts from earlier. “Reckon it might go easier if you didn’t have to worry about your mother and sister watching.” He didn’t add that it was for the best Jarrod was taken far away from any temptations.
Jarrod nodded, but looked concerned. “They’re gonna worry, you know.”
Heath nodded back. “Nick’s got our backs. He’s already worried about you.”
“Damn, Heath, I don’t want to be so much trouble…”
Heath cut him off. “That first night you told me family sticks together. You taking that back?”
Jarrod’s shoulders slumped in resignation and Heath grabbed his shoulder in a gesture of support. “C’mon, Nick likely has that wagon ready.” He picked up Jarrod’s bag and smiled at the soft, “Thanks, Heath,” he heard behind him. He only hoped Jarrod would be thanking him a few days from then.
- 14
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- 16
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A Small Price To Pay