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Whipped	By : This_is_The_Phantom_Lady Category: S through Z > Sherlock (BBC) > Sherlock (BBC) Views: 3753 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: This contains major triggers for people with issues with self-harm. I do not own or profit on any official BBC Sherlock characters or any other part of BBC Sherlock.

Chapter List
- 14
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I could not stop the desperate sobbing. My tears, snot and spit was all pooling together on the sheet in front of me face; only adding to my misery.
This was so much more than the pain.
This was a full on breakdown.
“Shhh!” I heard a voice close to me. It took effort to lift my head to look to the source. Kate. I could barely see her for the haze of tears and regret.
I was so far gone I had never noticed her coming in.
Kate sat down where Miss A. had been sitting during my punishment. She was holding a cup in her hand and I felt the cold sting on my burning skin and instantly tried to get away… I was struggling with the shackles and cried out.
“She told me not to let you lose yet… sorry…” she continued to apply the cold stuff dutifully. “Please lie still, you’re making it a lot more difficult than it should be” she begged me. She was far from pleased to have to attend to me.
I wasn’t even in control of my own movements. I was trying to escape what felt like another assault.
“You shouldn’t piss her off like that”
I burrowed my face in the sheets again, I was inconsolable…
“Irene!!” Kate called out; I could barely hear it… she sounded miles away and yet she was right next to me. She got on her feet and I felt the weight shift on the bed.
Any movement, any change in pressure against my crawling skin made me wail.
“Leave us!” Miss A.’s voice barked shortly after and I jumped.
“Mira?” she whispered as she was undoing the shackles… I didn’t move even if I was free. I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop.
“Sweetie?” her voice was soft and careful. She caressed my shoulder gently and I made a pathetic attempt to escape her touch.
“Look at me please” she told me. I wasn’t able to respond. I didn’t want to either.
I screamed as she effortlessly picked me up; allowing me curl up into a ball in her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair and rocked me.
“It’s over now sweetie” she cooed. “It’s all over now” she was fondling my jawline; looking into my eyes.
She looked so concerned and I still sobbed loudly.
She bent down and kissed my forehead and continued brushing my hair with her slender fingers…
Eventually it worked and I calmed down. Breathing steadily but still sniffling.
She held me close to her, even as I relaxed.
I don’t know why, or how to explain it but I felt calm in her arms.

…

My mind decided this was the time to remind me of the last time someone had held me like that… Macy. New, hot tears welled up in my eyes and ran down my burning cheeks.
Images were flashing before me… alternating between myself sobbing into Macy’s filthy jacket, clawing at it and the reason for it… running through dark streets, the metallic taste of blood taking over the even worse and revolting taste in my mouth and those pangs of the pain poking holes in the armour the adrenaline had dressed me in.
My mind wasn’t playing fair.

…

Miss A. brushed the tears away with her pale hand.
“Mira, stay with me” I heard her voice. It felt far away… I was slipping into the haze again… overwhelmed by emotions.
She ‘kindly’ pushed her thumb into my healing, bandaged cut. I felt like I was underwater and it was forcing me to the surface as if I was a bubble of air… Forming as unmentionable things rotted at the bottom.
I gasped.
“Look at me Mira” she smiled at me, she seemed pleased to see me returning to the surface. I looked into her blue eyes, trying to focus.
I didn’t want to slip under again… it was a scary world down there… full of all the things I tried to forget.
“Breathe with me” her thumb was caressing the bandage. She took a deep breath in… I tried too, I was shivering violently.
“Put your hand on your chest, feel your chest expand… feel the air filling your lungs. Breathe…” she took another breath and I put my hand on my chest. My arm felt so heavy but I managed it…
My ribcage expanded my hand was pushed outward… falling back down as I exhaled…
“Good girl” she beamed at me.
I was calmed down… my head was finally empty. I was no longer in immediate fear of drowning.
“I promise I will never do this to you again… I should have known” she cradled me in her arms; just like I was a child. Her red lips kissed the top of my head and a small smile crept on my lips.
“Let’s get you cleaned up” she whispered to me and got on her feet still holding me… I was amazed how she could just lift me so easily.

…

She put me on my feet in the bathroom. I was shivering still, but mostly because I was cold; I was still naked.
She soaked a cloth and wiped my cheeks gently, washing away all the tears.
“There’s that pretty face” she laughed and held me at an arm’s length; her finger caressing my cheek just like she had done in the alley.
She got a soft sponge and held it under the faucet; soaking it in warm water and put a bit of the hyacinth soap on it… I let her scrub me carefully. She started with my shoulders and cleaned the front of my body.
I just stood there… a bit catatonic I suppose. I didn’t even react as the sponge hit the dull bruises.
She knelt before me and was scrubbing my thighs, legs and feet. She got on her feet and my back was up next.
I cringed as she ran her finger over my swollen shoulder blade.
“That looks painful” she leaned forward and I felt her lips on my skin. I trembled. It was such a soft; such a caring move.
She let her finger trail down my twisted spine curiously.
“I’m sorry sweetie” her hand stopped just before it reached my bottom.
I heaved a shuddering sigh.
The sponge washed down the path of her hand; she skipped my raw bottom and moved down my legs. I was sucking my bottom lip into my mouth.
She was so soft with me.
Too soft…
- 14
- 15
- 16
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