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But I always thought I'd see you again...	By : ihatethesnow Category: S through Z > The Walking Dead Views: 1940 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the characters. I will not be making any money from this.

Chapter List
- 14
- 15
- 16
The summer passed slowly. They guessed it was early fall since the leaves started to change color. The group was smaller, when they went to a place in which they could find sanctuary, Terminus, they lost Merle and Bob.
While they were running and Beth was holding Candie, the baby got scratched and had to be put down. The four remaining survivors, Rick, Michonne, Michael and Beth, tried every day to find shelter and food.
Life on the road had become harsher by the day. The hunger, dehydration and bone-deep exhaustion was never ending. Every day was a reminder was that they weren't safe, or that they didn't have any safe haven. Rick felt like a failure. He failed so many people. So many people who would still be alive today if he made different decisions. He would study the expressions of Michael, Beth and Michonne, and he could feel the anger they had towards him.
It was getting cold. They didn't have any shelter, and the only source of warmth was a small fire, but they had to keep the flames low. The wet sticks hissed as the snow started to fall. They passed through towns with billboards advertising products that no longer exist. They would find the occasional car and drive it, headed north, and sleep in it when they ran out of gas. They were cold, tired, and hungry. They were just hanging on. Nobody remembered what it was like to be happy. Nobody remembered what it was like to not be utterly depressed. The group of four became friends, but they all fell alone. They were mentally drained. Once they got their hopes up with Woodbury, until the self-appointed "Governor" fell apart, and Rick sustained his injury, they had given up hope.
They had two new additions; a young man named Heath and a doctor from Woodbury; Pete Anderson. In the evenings they walked across a cold, wet field, trying to find a place where the flames would not be seen. As they continued to scavenge for supplies, their conversation continued to mimic the mood; very sparse and would exist as more of a frame for a conversation rather than a full discussion. By a campfire one evening Rick tried to use a manual can opener for some peaches. Others offered help, but he was determined to no be a complete waste. He tried, and after several moments, he was able to do it. He wasn't deaf to the whispers. The others wanted him to step down as leader. They were in a shell of what used to be a thriving city.
After the third morning in a row when Beth vomited what little she had in her stomach, Pete gave her an informal examination and said she had the "nine month flu."
"You gonna ignore her for the next nine months like you did with the queen?" Michonne barked at Rick.
Rick rubbed his face with his left hand. He needed his family.
There isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't think about them. He never thought he would ever miss someone this much. He also never thought he would lose them. They were his family, his responsibility, and he was supposed to protect them like a husband, father and man would. He can't help but feel guilty. He doesn't want this grief. He wants his family back. Every day he feels lost and incomplete. He thought of the hell they went through with the coma, and how happy they were when he came back. He took them for granted, and had no idea how much they meant to him. And how much he loved them. He should have been there. He should have protected them. Maybe they were scared. He hoped they were at peace, but he just wants them back.
They welcomed the warmth as the surprisingly comforting smell of the smoke drifting around them as they all sat feeling deflated and mournful. The old house had a fireplace, and even though it was stripped bare, it was four walls and a roof. At least for the night.
Rick frowned, for the first time Michonne really looked at him. His face was pale and there was tightness around his eyes she had never seen before. It worried her, and she knew without being told she was part of the reason.
After a dinner consisting of flat soda and canned beans, Rick walked out of the living room and down the hallway to a bedroom that belonged to a small child.
He looked at the décor, clearly meant for a child Carl's age, and willed the emotions to leave him alone…just for one night. He'd like to believe there's going to be a tender reunion, but he knows….
….just darkness.
He hated himself for the way he acted. He physically pushed Lori to the ground while she was pregnant. Over a picture of a kiss. Seven, eight months lost due to his stupidity.
His family was gone and that was the only thought that Rick could focus on.
Nothing will ever be normal again.
He thought he locked the bedroom door. His Colt Python was on his hip. He wanted to be with his family. He needed to be with his family. He thought about everything he fucked up so far…he wouldn't be missed. Pete could lead. He had more education than a small town cop. He knew how to make things better.
Michonne walked into the room and sat on the floor next to her old boyfriend. She saw the raw anguish and half-shed tears on his face and wrapped her arms around him.
Rick sat stiffly for a moment before his entire body began to shake; his arms engulfed her, and she rocked him back and forth like a child. Her shirt was soaked with his tears. She crooned nonsense, stroked his back, whispered that she was there but never once told him it would be alright.
It felt like hours later, and for all Rick knew it could have been; when he became aware of where he was and who was hugging him. He drew a ragged breath in through his mouth; it only served to emphasize how raw his throat was, and leaned back.
He was shocked to see that Michonne's face was covered in tears too. As that thought registered he could the damp cloth of his shirt clinging to his shoulder, and the nape of his neck. He didn't know what to say, he felt relived and uncomfortable all in the same breath. This was the last thing he expected to happen when he'd arrived today.
Michonne slid back a bit and leaned over, reaching for the box of tissues that rested on a nearby nightstand. She didn't know what to say. She had the same loss, but wasn't as affected by it.
"I miss them. I miss them every fucking second of every fucking day." He was drained…so wrung out that his skin felt brittle.
"Rick, think back to the way it was in high school. I remember at first, I was terrified to walk up to you every day. I remember I used to be scared to kiss you, to hug you, to even talk to you. And it was all because I was so scared of messing it all up, of messing us up. I don't believe that two lovers, as strong as you and me, could just be a lesson in life. I don't believe that God placed us together to teach us something because the only thing I've learnt is that I still love with you. I think that if you know that if people are meant to be, no matter how far they drift, they find their way back to each other. This is our chance. You're free, I'm free, you're here, and I'm here…"
His tear filled blue eyes locked with hers.
"Remember slipping out during science class? Remember skipping school and spending the day in my bed at home? Remember how I used to blow you in the library? I do. I still have feelings for you, Rick. We're both free. This is our chance."
She smiled as she leaned back on the floor and started to unzip her pants.
Rick looked to make sure she locked the door, and moved so that he was covering her body with his, propping himself up on his extended left arm.
"I remember all that. You were my first love. I didn't pop your cherry, but you did mine."
She reached her hands up and started to unbutton his shirt,
"Nobody has to know."
"I remember. I remember, Michonne. I remember kissing you in the hallway. I remember being a good country gentleman and opening door, carrying your books and giving you my jacket when you were cold."
"Yeah…" she said, seductively.
His shirt was completely unbuttoned, so she worked on her own. He was on his knees, hovering above her body, but not making any physical contact.
"What do you want, Michonne?"
"I want you to fuck me, Rick. Fuck me hard."
"Isn't that something..."
"What" She said, giggling.
"You're something else."
"Let me show you."
"No. Michonne, I mean you're something else. I was just crying over the loss of my entire family. It's been only weeks since Candie died. You haven't mourned Collette, Elodie, Terry or Andre. Or Ty. Your husband. And you knew I wasn't Jessie's father. You knew I was Collette's. You're fucked up in the head, lady. From now on, I don't want you to look at me or talk to me. Three nights ago I heard you and Pete fucking. You're still wearing your wedding ring. You're a whore."
He stood up without having any physical contact with her.
"You're a sick, twisted lunatic. And I wish I never met you."
Michonne went from being arouse to furious within seconds.
"Fuck you, Grimes. You're forgetting how Lori cried on MY shoulder because you treated her like shit. If I never showed up you'd still be doing it."
"Don't ever talk about her again. She's ten times the mother you'll never be again." Rick used his left hand to button his shirt and left the room, storming into the kitchen. Michonne was hot on his heels.
"This is so typical, Grimes. Anyone speaks bad of your precious Lori and you get all butt hurt."
"Anyone hear a gnat buzzing around?" He asked, to nobody in particular.
"Fuck you, Grimes. Asshole."
"Such a lady." He said, as he kept moving around the room.
Michonne, not satisfied that she wasn't getting the attention she was looking for, began screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Shut up or I'll throw you outside." Rick seethed.
In anger, she kicked over the glass coffee table, shattering the top.
"Fuck you, Rick. You're just like your racist parents. That apple don't fall too far from that tree, do it?"
Rick looked at a very surprised audience and said "gotta call an exterminator and get rid of these pests."
"What-the-fuck-ever, Grimes. If this is how you treat me, I'll smile and live with the satisfaction that I fucked up your life. Who do you think cut the gates?"
- 14
- 15
- 16
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But I always thought I'd see you again...