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The Thinker Challenge	By : marksandspence Category: S through Z > Sherlock (BBC) > Sherlock (BBC) Views: 2251 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: This story is based solely on the television show Sherlock that airs on BBC1, written by Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. I borrow their universe to play in and do not claim any ownership or intend to make any money off of this fun hobby of m

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
Chapter 15: Piping Mad
John hesitates in the doorway of Sherlock’s flat. He squints his eyes as if he is unsure of the scene in front of him. Sherlock sits somewhat reclined in the chair facing towards the far wall, away from the kitchen. Sio is standing behind, rather tenderly massaging his scalp as he utters intermittent sighs of pleasure. John takes a step back and is about to turn when Sherlock says without opening his eyes, “We’re not naked, John.”
John responds, “No, I just need to text…Mary is meeting me here and I forgot…” His voice trails off as he turns his back and starts fiddling with his phone.
He does text Mary:
JW: Just walked in on an actual display of affection.
MW: They weren’t naked? O_O
JW: No. Might have been less strange.
MW: OK.
JW: Btwn that and the nr hand holding incident the other day, am starting to doubt this is another farce.
MW: Thought it was just hand proximity. Nosy boy.
JW: Hate the thought of being fooled twice.
MW: Ignore, then. What does it matter? Be there in a minute.
John puts away his phone and steps back into the apartment. The scalp massage continues. He waits for a biting comment from Sherlock, who always sees through such minor deceptions, but nothing comes.
Instead, Sherlock observes, “This may be one of the most intensely pleasurable physical experiences I have had.” After a brief pause, he clarifies “Non-pharmaceutical.”
“I may have to have a word with your hair dresser,” Sio purrs as she takes a step back and then walks to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.
Sherlock frowns and lifts his head up, “It’s been a rather stressful morning.”
“Why is that, then?” John asks.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know. Mrs. Hudson had no right to tattle,” Sherlock answers.
“It was an antique! I thought it would be a preferable alternative,” Sio chimes in.
“You bought him the opium pipe?” John asks in disbelief.
Mary arrives at the door, “Looks like I got here just in time,” she says smiling a bit wickedly.
Sherlock stands up and starts pacing the room. “Mycroft is threatening to cut me off,” he complains.
“Wait, Mycroft gives you money?” John asks in disbelief.
“Of course, John. How else do you think I can afford the bloody rent? Whenever I need money, it just appears. No one else does that,” Sherlock explains.
“How much?” Sio inquires.
“I don’t bother which such trifles. Ask Mrs. Hudson,” Sherlock shrugs, still upset. “She’ll be up with tea in a minute after hearing the flood of footsteps.”
Mary turns to John, “So why do you always end up paying for the taxis? And dinner?”
“I have other needs,” Sherlock dismisses.
“Really?” Mary counters, dubious.
“Tell her, John,” Sherlock says.
“He has needs?” John shrugs.
Sio passes John a sheet of paper. “More or less? The rent.”
John looks at it. “A bit more. And extra for housekeeping.”
“It shouldn’t be a problem. I can cover it,” Sio states with confidence.
“Perfect. See, she can cover it,” Sherlock says as he flops back down into his chair.
Thinking about the details, Sio calculates out loud, “I’d have to unload the land in Yorkshire. And perhaps a few bits and pieces here and there.”
“Always good to simplify,” Sherlock suggests.
“Fine. I’ll have Henry arrange it. Or at least find the people that are required for such things,” Sio says, satisfied.
“What, just like that? You’re going to give your money to Sherlock. To support his needs,” Mary asks in disbelief.
Sensing she is missing something, Sio responds, frowning, “Why? Is that strange?”
“A little bit,” Mary responds indignantly.
“John, can you please contain your wife?” Sherlock insists.
“I don’t see the problem, if it would give him some independence from his brother’s prying eyes,” Sio responds.
John answers quickly, “I doubt very much that is even possible – Mycroft’s eyes are always prying. Regardless, wouldn’t that be just transferring Sherlock’s dependence?”
Sio considers this for a moment. “Yes, but I'm lovely and I don’t mind so much about the drugs. And if Sherlock doesn’t have a problem with the arrangement….”
“Not at all,” Sherlock responds without a thought.
“Putting aside the drugs for just a moment…”, Mary says giving a distinct look to John before continuing, “And I’m just throwing this out there, but what if you two, say, decide to not…” Mary leads.
“Oh, you mean if we stop having sex. I see.” Sio turns to Sherlock, “Would you feel pressure to continue having sex with me if I were giving you money?”
“Not in the least.”
“I don’t really think that's the point Mary was trying to make,” John tries to clarify.
“But doesn’t this happen all the time? These kinds of arrangements? I mean, Mary, you’re not working. Isn’t John, therefore, supporting you?”
“Yes, but only temporarily until the baby is a bit older. And we are married,” Mary answers defensively.
Sio scoffs, “That seems a bit extreme. I have never had any interest in marriage.”
John intervenes, “Mary is not suggesting you get married…”
Sio interrupts, continuing her train of thought, “Such an absurd institution, trying to impose permanency on transience. Still, if it were absolutely required for some practical purpose, I suppose the only person I would trust in such a situation would be Sherlock.”
“How romantic,” Sherlock deadpans.
“Isn’t it, though?” Sio responds with cheeky smile.
“But back to the point Mary was attempting to make, lending money to friends is almost never a good idea,” John insists.
At that moment, Mrs. Hudson arrives in the doorway with a tray of tea and biscuits. Sherlock hears a car door slam shut on the street and then scans the room suspiciously.
“Why are we all here?” Looking at John and Mary, he continues, “You must have gotten a babysitter. Tell me you didn’t invite…”
“What’s going on?” Sio asks earnestly.
“I believe they are attempting to stage an Intervention. Or as I will henceforth refer to this day as, Hell With Biscuits,” Sherlock observes with an exasperated eye roll.
*
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The Thinker Challenge