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A Helping Hand	By : Hookedonapirate Category: M through R > Once Upon A Time Views: 8245 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Once Upon a Time or the characters from it, nor do I make money off of this fiction.

Chapter List
- 15
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- 17
Emma had no energy left. She cried until there were no more tears within her. She cried until her body was shaking—until she was curled up into a ball, the pillow beneath her cheek damp with tears, her face stained, puffy and red, dried tears and snot encrusting the patch of skin below her nose. She was a complete train wreck, much more so than when she found out Neal had been cheating on her.

She’d wanted to chase after Killian, but the apartment was full of burning candles and she was only in her robe, so she was not really in any state to leave. And if she knew Killian like she was sure she knew him, he had headed to the bar.

Besides, she knew she was not in the wrong. She knew her reasons were justified. She didn’t want to risk what she had with Killian by displaying their relationship out in the open for everyone to see and know about.

She’d done everything to protect her relationship with Killian, and this was how he repaid her?!

Fucking men.

Emma didn't know how much time went by, too consumed in a mess of tears and tangled sheets, before she was towed out of her misery and heard a commotion outside her bedroom door.

Shit.

Elsa was now home, with Anna and Liam.

Emma wiped what remained of her tears, but she knew there was no point in trying to cover up her distressed condition. Her eyes were all swollen and puffy and there was a frown permanently plastered on her face.

Maybe they would see the lit candles and rose petals and get the hint.

Fuck.

How could she leave everything like that for them to see? And the night before Killian's birthday nonetheless? Even if they left her be, they’d ask questions later, there was no doubt about it.

Emma sighed an exasperated breath, using a tissue to blow her nose, which continued to leak with snot. She heard some giggles outside the door, and could also hear Liam’s loud, booming voice as he said, “Alright, let's get you two to bed.”

If she were emotionally sober, she'd be wondering what was going on, but at the moment she only prayed no one would come bursting into her room finding her like this.

Finally, the apartment grew silent again and Emma emitted a long, heavy breath into her wet pillow, closing her eyes and burying her face there.

“Emma?”

Damnit.

She groaned into the pillow, hoping Liam would go away.

But it didn't work.

Instead, she could hear the door open and the creak of his footsteps, and see the bright glow surrounding her blocked vision when Liam flicked on the light. “Emma, what's with all the candles I had to blow out? Are you trying to burn down the—” he paused as Emma lifted her head to look at him through her watery vision. His face immediately fell, concern flooding his features. “Are you crying?”

Still curled up into a ball, she peeled her eyes away, trying to avoid looking at him.

“Em, what's going on?” There was worry lacing his words as he walked across the room. She couldn't see him, but she could hear the sound of his footsteps cease before he reached the bed. “And what in the devil are these?”

Emma’s head jerked up and she spotted him picking up her nipple tassels. “They're none of your business,” she snapped, and launched out of bed, tearing them out of his hands.

Liam's eyes drifted to the handcuffs and Reddi Wip laying on the table, his eyebrows quirking in subtle curiosity as he picked them up. “I'm guessing I don't want to know what happened here?”

Emma huffed and snagged the items from his grasp. “Trust me, you don't.” She shoved them in the bedside table drawer and plopped onto the mattress, curling up again and laying her head on the pillow. “Just go away.”

“Sorry, lass, but we’re like family, and family is supposed to look out for one another,” he stated stubbornly, gently pushing her legs over and taking a seat on the bed, “so I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong.”

“Liam, I appreciate your concern, but I'm serious, I don't wanna talk to anyone,” she grumbled and rolled over to face away from him.

She heard a long, dramatic sigh as he sat back against the headboard. She couldn't see him, but she knew the stubborn ass was getting comfortable in the bed, waiting for her to speak. But she was not in the mood to talk.

“Look, Elsa and Anna ended up drinking a wee too many daiquiris and they're both passed out in Elsa’s bed, so I have all night until I have to take care of my hungover fiancé and her sister in the morning.”

“Liam, I…” Emma squeezed her eyes shut, trying to suppress the tears that were again threatening to fall. “I don't want to talk about it,” she whispered, her words cracked with the despair she felt.

There was a long pause and no argument from the Jones brother. Maybe he was starting to get the hint.

“Alright, well then I'll just stay and keep you company, and when, or if you're ready to talk, I'll be here,” he offered sincerely.

Emma could no longer hold back, and she gave into her emotions, choking out a cry, the warm tears streaming down her face once again. She turned around and sought out Liam for comfort, resting her head on his chest. Her heart squeezed tightly and it hurt so much, she didn’t care how she looked in front of Killian’s brother.

Liam’s whole body softened as he wrapped his arms around her, not saying anything, only letting her cry into his shirt. She sobbed and sobbed, her body shaking as she let it all out. Liam rubbed her back in soothing circles, and soon she drifted off to sleep, waking up an hour later, still in his arms. Her heart still stung, but knowing she had someone there to listen for whenever she decided to talk, softened the blow a bit.

“How did you find the courage to tell Elsa your secret?” Emma blurted out suddenly with a sniffle, wiping her tears with a fresh Kleenex he had retrieved for her.

“My secret?” he asked, peering down at her and wiping a stray tear from her cheek.

“Yeah, about the girlfriend you lost.” Emma lifted her head from his chest and propped herself up on her elbows. “What made you decide to break down and tell her?”

Liam shrugged and looked away from her. “Easy, I knew I had to be honest with her, I didn't want her to find out some other way and I didn't want to lose her, so I had to make a choice.”

“Even though it meant you could lose her by telling her?”

“Aye, it was a risk, but sometimes you have to take those, otherwise you'll end up sad and lonely because you were never willing to stick your neck out for the people you love.” He turned his head towards her again, eyeing her in curiosity and lifting a brow. “May I ask why you are asking?”

Emma peered down as she bit her bottom lip in contemplation. She was conflicted with whether she should confide in him or not. And it wasn't as though she didn't trust him, because she really did, and at this point she wasn't worried about him giving her a hard time about it. “Because there’s a secret I've been hiding from everyone, and I haven't been bold enough to tell anyone… but if I don't, I risk losing the best thing in my life.”

“Oh Em, you don't have to worry about that.” Liam’s concerned expression transformed into a smirk, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, kissing her chastely on her tear-covered cheek. “You're not gonna lose me.”

Emma laughed, playfully slapping across the chest. “Oh stop. You know you're important to me.”

Liam chuckled, rubbing his chest and pretending to be hurt. “Okay, so tell me who outranks me,” he said light-heartedly.

Emma scrutinized him carefully, trying to gauge whether this information would make him upset or not. “Promise you won't get mad at me for keeping it from you?"

Liam nodded. “Scout’s honor.”

“Well, here goes nothing...” Emma took a deep, shaky breath and figured maybe it was time to tell Liam, the person she used to confide in all the time before his brother came along. “For the last five months, I've been seeing your brother.”

Liam looked off into space, avoiding her gaze, and his lack of response threw her off a bit. She was not a mindreader, but she really wished she was in that moment.

“Well? Aren't you going to say anything?”

Her words didn't seem to change anything, though, and he seemed to be contemplating something; she just wasn't sure what.

Finally, he tilted his head, but to her surprise, his lips were curving into a smirk. “Well, it’s about time you decided to tell someone.”

What? Was he serious? “How did you…” she stammered, completely dumbstruck, “how did you know?”

Liam stroked his chin with his finger and thumb, his lips pursed in thought, but she knew he was only trying to mock her. “Hmmm, I think the better question is how could I not have known?”

Emma rolled her eyes, unappreciative of how lightly he was taking this. “Okay, well when did you find out?”

“Well, let's see… I've known ever since I found you and Killian in bed together, so it was kind of easy to put together the pieces.”

“Huh?” Emma was utterly perplexed. “When did you find us in bed together?” she demanded, her nose scrunched up in confusion.

“Don’t you remember a couple of mornings after Elsa and I announced our engagement?”

Emma thought back to that morning, trying to remember which day he was referring to. She remembered forgetting to call off her date with Graham the night of the engagement dinner, and the next morning she only showed up to the cafe, where Graham was waiting for her, to pour coffee in his lap. She remembered walking in on Liam and Elsa having sex on the coffee table when she came home from work, she remembered eating pizza with Killian on the rooftop and then sitting on the couch chatting while he french braided her hair. She had fallen asleep in his arms and woke up in his bedroom with his morning erection pressed to her bottom. They then enjoyed a couple of fantastic romps in the sack before Emma had to go into work and—

Oh.

Emma paled as she remember what had happened before she’d left Killian’s bed.

“You walked in on us.”

Liam nodded, a hint of a smile detected in the corner of his lips. “Aye, you were trying to hide, but when I went across the room to pick up Killian’s clothes, I spotted your blonde hair poking out of the blanket, and not to mention the room smelled like sex, so I knew Killian wasn’t by himself wanking off.”

Emma’s mouth fell open, eyes blinking rapidly, trying to process this revelation. But so many questions rose to the surface, making her head spin. “But how did you know it was me? It's not like I'm the only blonde in the city,” she remarked in irritation.

He smirked. “I’m aware, love.” Emma rolled her eyes, and he grew more serious to answer her question. “Well, I wasn’t sure at first, but then I asked Killian if he had seen you, and it wasn’t difficult to see he wasn’t being truthful. I left the flat, thinking I shouldn’t dive too much into it, because I knew you must have been trying to hide after I dumbly told Killian not to see you.”

Emma was still in awe by the whole thing and she started thinking back to all the times she and Killian were sneaking around and when Liam had given them a difficult time. Emma had been so sure he wasn’t on to them, but he knew the entire time?

“The real telltale sign was when I went to the drycleaners to find out there was a pair of panties in the pocket of his pants.”

Emma furrowed her brows, narrowing her eyes at him. “And how did you know those were mine?”

She could clearly see he didn’t appreciate the unspoken accusations.

“Well, I could only assume. He was wearing the suit for the engagement dinner, and when we came home, he changed out of his clothes and into his boxer briefs because I remember running into him when we were both headed for the bathroom, so I know he hadn’t left that night, and when else would those panties have gotten into his pocket? Also, you and Killian were gone an awfully long time during dinner, you had a lot weighing on your mind when you got up to use the restroom and suddenly you were more relaxed and chipper when you got back. The whole thing was suspicious, Em.”

Emma nodded, knowing he was correct. She and Killian didn’t actually do a great job at hiding their relationship. “Then what about you giving us a hard time about being friends?”

Liam shrugged. “It was all a ruse. You should know by now I love messing with my little brother,” he smirked impishly. “You don’t know how much fun it was to rain on his parade when I offered to share a tent with him,” he chuckled.

Emma gave him another eye roll. “Yeah, I’m sure, but you know you rained on both of our parades, right?”

“Oh, I’m quite aware, but you both were the ones keeping this secret from the rest of us, so I didn’t feel bad. And believe me, it was not easy to keep it to myself at times. I about died laughing when David said he could hear people having sex in the shower next to his,” Liam laughed heartily, and she could feel the vibrations booming from his throat.

Blush crept into Emma’s cheeks as she looked down in embarrassment. “Yeah, I’m sure you got a kick out of the whole thing.”

“Oh, I did.”

Emma looked up at him again, and a thought suddenly struck her, because Liam’s fiance was one of her best friends after all. “What about Elsa? Does she know?”

Liam shook his head. “That was a dilemma I’ve been struggling with this whole time. I didn’t want to keep another secret from her, but at the same time, if she knew you were keeping it from her, she would’ve been hurt. And besides, it was not my secret to tell, so I waited until you were ready to tell her.”

Emma sighed, regret and shame falling over her already distressed features. “I’m a terrible friend, aren’t I?”

Liam glanced at her, eyes reassuring and full of warmth. “No, I don't think so. You had your reasons for keeping the secret, I completely understand. But tell me, why did you feel the need to keep it from us in the first place?”

Emma leaned back against the headboard, taking a long, depleted breath. She didn’t know exactly how to explain how she felt, but she knew it was only fair since he had known this whole time and kept it to himself, even from Elsa. “Well, at first we tried to only be friends, but we liked each other too much and ended up adding sex to the equation, so I didn’t think of it as anything that needed to be shared at the time. Then we fell in love and I… I guess I didn’t want everyone knowing. I didn’t want anything to change.”

Liam’s eyebrows furrowed together, confusion showing in his face. “And how would it change anything?”

Emma shrugged. “I don’t know. I was afraid you and David would disapprove…”

Guilt flashed in his eyes as he offered an apologetic smile. “And what exactly gave you that idea?” he asked playfully.

“I just… I didn’t want anything to screw up what Killian and I had,” she explained, but she didn’t think she was actually doing her reasons any justice. Emma turned to face him, and folded her legs, holding herself up with one hand as she leaned against the headboard, trying to come up with a better explanation. “Okay, let me ask you something—would you think of your relationship with Elsa as something to be protected at all costs?”

Her question threw him off a bit, but he answered quickly. “Yes, of course.”

“Well that’s how I see my relationship with Killian. I’ve never been with a guy who didn’t feel the need to break my heart every chance he got, so to me, this is something new for me. And I didn’t want anything to ruin it. I wanted to keep our relationship locked up in a cabinet like expensive, rare china because I was afraid if I brought out the fragile tableware set, it would end up getting broken and ruined. I figured our relationship had more value locked away in the cabinet, so I kept it there. I didn’t want anything or anyone to break Killian and I apart, whether intentional or not.”

Liam nodded, comprehension shown in his bright blue eyes. “I can understand that, but what's the point of having expensive china if it just sits in the cabinet looking pretty? Sometimes the china wants to be let out and admired and eaten off of.”

Emma bursted into laughter at his unintended pun. “Oh, Killian has not been deprived of being eaten off of,” she jested, thinking about when she had licked chocolate and whipped cream off of him earlier that night.

Liam’s face distorted in distaste. “Alright, I really don’t need the images to go along with the whipped cream and handcuffs,” he sighed.

Emma’s features became more solemn as she thought about what he was actually trying to tell her. “You’re right though. I’ve been selfish, keeping the china all to myself. And I realize now that I have deprived you and Killian from some much needed bonding time. He didn’t have the opportunity to go to you about his feelings for me and he didn’t have anyone to share those with because I asked him not to.” Emma closed her eyes in regret, tears pricking her eyes once again. “God, I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?” Emma felt Liam’s hand on her back as he pulled her close to him and placed a kiss on her forehead.

“No, Em, you are not a terrible person. You had good intentions, and I can honestly say Killian is a lucky man to have you as his girlfriend. Actually, I am quite relieved you two are together. You’re good for each other.”

Emma’s eyelids squeezed together, her heart clenching in her chest. “Yeah, we were,” she murmured, and opened her eyes to catch his reaction.

“What?” His face fell, concern etched into the lines of his forehead.

Emma dabbed the corner of her eyes with the kleenex to prevent anymore tears from escaping. “Why do you think I’ve been crying?”

“What happened?”

Emma emitted an audible sigh, replaying the events of that night in her mind. “Killian wanted to tell everyone, but I told him I wasn’t ready.” Her eyes welled up with tears at the memories of the conversation. “So he said we were over.”

“He what?!” Liam appeared to be shocked and angry.

Emma shrugged. “You can't really blame him though, can you?”

Liam was appalled as he shook his head in disapproval. “Emma, I’m sorry, I think if he knew you weren’t ready, he shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into it.”

“No, it’s okay, I deserve it. I don’t even deserve him,” she choked out, her words cracked with sorrow.

“Stop that, love. You didn’t deserve that. And if anyone’s too good for someone, it’s you,” Liam told her, lifting his hand and brushing his thumb over her cheek.

Emma graced him with a small smile. “Thank you.”

He offered one back. “It’s true.”

“I need to tell Killian I don’t want to hide our relationship anymore. Here, I was so worried about protecting the china, and I’m the one who ended up dropping it and breaking it by taking it back to the cabinet.”

Liam chuckled. “I think it’s fixable. If I know my brother at all, he’s going to be cursing himself up and down in the morning, if he hasn’t already. He’s going to take you back with open arms, whether you never want to come clean to everyone or not.”

Emma smiled weakly, knowing Liam was right. “If not, do you think he could be persuaded by some blueberry pancakes?”

Liam grinned widely. “I think he’d be a bloody fool not to be.” They laughed and he gave her a hug, dropping a kiss to the top her head.

Emma felt so much more relieved, and she knew what she had to do. She didn’t know if she was exactly ready to tell everyone the truth, but she knew she wasn’t about to lose Killian because of it.

The next morning, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she stood in front of the door to his apartment. She was bound and determined to make things right with him.

Emma pondered whether she should knock, or use her key. She knew if she knocked, he would probably look through the peephole and not answer the door, and then she would have been devastated by yet another rejection. So she unlocked the door and opened it, stepping inside.

It was quiet, and there was no one around, so she assumed he was still sleeping. She quietly shut the door, a small smile gracing her lips. She was about to surprise him by bringing him breakfast in bed—blueberry pancakes, which were his favorite treat, other than her of course. Or at least she was .

She had cooked the pancakes in her apartment while Liam took Elsa and Anna out to breakfast to give Emma the opportunity to talk to Killian. He’d assured her he would take care of the small party they had planned, and would pick up the cake and make the final preparations for that night. She was amazed he had the energy, considering he stayed up until after three a.m. making sure Emma was okay.

She hadn't been sure about what to carry the pancakes in when they were done, so she’d cooled them off on a wire rack for twenty minutes to keep them from getting soggy and stored them in a cake carrier with a lid.

Hoping the pancakes would win him over, Emma was about to make her way over towards the kitchen to grab some syrup and silverware when she heard movement.

Killian was awake.

Emma perked up a little and her fingers began to tremble in anticipation. “Killian, I brought you some breakfast. I hope you don't mind me stopping over, I just thought we should talk about last—”

Emma stopped abruptly in her tracks and dropped the the cake carrier from her hands. It collapsed on the floor with a thud, along with her heart, Emma's train of thought completely lost and her mouth hanging open.

What the fuck?

She had been expecting Killian to emerge from the hallway, but instead, standing before her was a dark haired woman wearing his Kiss t-shirt—correction, theirKiss t-shirt. The one Emma had spilled her wine on and flaunted around in to tease him after he’d left it in her apartment. The one Killian had told her he’d never washed since it touched her half naked body. This woman was wearing that same shirt.

How fucking dare she?

When the woman stepped closer, Emma couldn't breathe. There were a million thoughts racing through her mind and she felt like she were suffocating. The woman had tattoos up her arms and legs, so Emma was pretty sure she knew exactly who this woman was. But the looming questions were how the fuck did she get here and why the fuck was wearing that t-shirt?

“Who are you?” It was the brunette speaking, and Emma didn't even know if she were able to answer the question if she wanted to.

The woman folded her arms, a frown settled in her features, her jaw set and firm as she stared at Emma intently.

Emma was growing angry, blood bubbling under her skin, ready to explode at any moment. She had to will herself to calm down, to exhale a slow, steady breath and to somehow summon the courage and energy to speak. “I'm Killian’s girlfriend.”

The woman scoffed, eyes dancing with amusement. “That's funny because,” she stepped closer, far too close for Emma’s liking, “ I'm his girlfriend.”

Okay, seriously, what the fuck was happening?

The brunette's eyes widened in recognition and she pointed a dainty finger at her. “Oh, you must be the ex-girlfriend he dumped last night. My apologies,” she laughed with a sound meant to taunt Emma as she stuck out her hand. “I'm Milah, and you must be Emma.”

Emma was shaking, almost vibrating with anger, but she wasn't about to let this bitch win (so easily).

“Really? That's funny, because Killian told me you dumped him months ago,” Emma stated, somehow maintaining her cool with a fiery gaze as she left Milah hanging, not about to engage in any physical contact with her unless it involved punching this bitch in the face.

Milah nodded casually and pulled her hand way, waving both over her t-shirt clad form. “He did, but as you can see we got back together last night.”

Emma cringed, her stomach coiled with knots and her entire body heated with rage. “Where's Killian?” she demanded hoarsely. “I need to speak with him.”

“Sorry, he's sleeping at the moment.”

Bullshit.

Emma started to move past Milah.

“I wouldn't go in there if I were you.” The brunette's words caused her to stop and turn around.

“And why the hell not?”

“Because he had a little too much to drink last night,” Milah replied, turning around to face her. “He needs his rest. Why don't I relay a message to him?”

“No thanks,” Emma bit out, trying to disguise the pain she felt inside with a harsh, insistent tone.

“Well, just in case you're wondering why he didn't return any of your calls or texts, I'm more than happy to tell you.”

“That's okay,” Emma replied firmly.

Milah's smile was tainted with mischief as she folded her arms over her chest, and Emma blanched in fear, afraid of what this woman was about to throw at her. “Too bad.” Milah rose her hand to her face, stroking her chin. “Lets see… for one, you're no longer his girlfriend, and therefore he has no obligation to you.”

No, no, no, no, this conniving cunt was not using her own fucking words against her, was she?!

Emma began to panic, her eyes bulging out as she waited for Milah to finish.

“Secondly, he was a bit preoccupied with all the sex we had last night.”

Emma's blood was screaming on the inside at Milah’s words and how she seemed to throw them in her face so proudly and wickedly with no remorse.

As if that weren't enough torture, the bitch had to top it off with, “I had the best orgasm of my life last night.”

Emma was fucking furious, merely seconds away from exploding with rage, and the worst part of it was, this woman seemed to take pleasure from hurting her so much.

“I need some coffee. Do you want some?” Milah had the audacity to ask her in a sweet, yet taunting tone laced with innocence which was clearly meant to mock her as she made her way towards the kitchen with a devilish smirk on her face. “Having rough sex all night is really exhausting.”

Emma didn't waste her breath answering. Instead she made a mad dash for the door, fired up with rage. She was so angry she could have screamed at the top of her lungs! She couldn't believe Killian slept with that woman, and immediately after breaking up with her nonetheless! The fucking nerve of him!

But there was also the question of whether that fucking bitch was telling the truth or not. She’d used the exact same lines Emma had fed to her the night Milah had tried to get back with him. And Emma might not have believed her if not for all of the evident signs—Milah was wearing nothing but his shirt, she had emerged from his bedroom and Killian had been inebriated last night. Emma knew him more than anybody else did. He liked to drink his problems away, and he ended up doing crazy shit when he was drunk.

It didn't matter though. The fact that Milah was even there at all was a sign that Emma had to get the hell out of dodge.

She bursted into her bedroom and grabbed her suitcase from the closet, tossing it on the bed. For the next twenty minutes, she was scrambling around the room gathering all the clothes she could fit in her suitcase. She grabbed her phone charger and some other essentials and threw them in there before zipping up the luggage and dragging it out of the room.

Emma went to the kitchen and picked her keys up from the counter, eyeing the one for the apartment. She remembered after she had moved in she'd had it made with a buttercup design. To avoid any temptation of giving in and coming back, she removed the apartment key off the ring set and placed it on the counter, tears pricking her eyes.

With that done, she hauled her suitcase out, locking the door from the inside and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. She didn't even look back as she dragged the suitcase down the steps and got the hell out of the goddamn apartment building, texting Mary Margaret on the way to her car.

Emma: Would it be okay if I stay with you and David for awhile? I moved out of my place today… for good.

It wasn't until Emma was on the road, driving through the city when her phone dinged in her purse as she received a message. She grabbed it and glanced down very briefly to read it.

MM: Yes, of course. You can stay as long as you need.

Emma waited until she stopped at a red light to text her back. She was certainly in no mood to get a ticket for texting and driving, so she quickly typed it and hit send.

Emma: Thanks! You and David are lifesavers.

She knew she shouldn't just leave without telling Elsa, but if Emma did, she would have to tell her where she went, and she didn't want that information to get to Killian. She also hated the fact she would have to keep yet another thing from one of her best friends, so it was best to avoid temptation. She rolled down her car window, a steely expression on her face as she added,

Emma: I don't know what I'd do without you. I'll explain everything when I get there, but I won't be able to contact you anymore until then.

With that sent, Emma looked up, and the light turned green, so she pressed her foot on the gas and took off, tossing her phone out the open window.

As it landed somewhere on roadside, sending a crack through the screen, it lit up with a text.

Killian: Emma, can we please talk about last night?

Followed by another one.

Killian: I don't want to be apart anymore. I’m so sorry about leaving the way I did. I was just upset.

Killian: I love you too much to let anything get in the way of what we have.

Killian: You are way too special to me.

Killian: Miss you, baby <3<3<3

A car pulled up to the curb, crushing the device under the weight of the tire and smashed it into a million pieces.

~*~

Killian felt like shit. He was pretty sure a jackhammer was pounding his head over and over again, his eyes were bloodshot red and his neck ached from sleeping in his car all night. And he still couldn't remember how the hell he ended up in the backseat of his vehicle. He’d acquired the car a few months ago once he grew tired of taking the crowded subway to work. New York City was quite different from England, but he was able to adjust to both the busy city life, driving on the right side of the road and manning the steering wheel with only one real hand. The traffic had been very tricky to maneuver around in at first, but he was a quick learner and became accustomed to it in no time.

He peeled himself out of the seat and made his way into the building while checking his phone. Trudging up the steps, he hoped Emma had responded to his texts, but received nothing. When he’d woken up in the car, he saw the messages on his phone from Emma and had to talk with her about what had transpired, but when he knocked on her door, she didn’t answer. His ability to recollect the memories from last night wasn't the best, but he’d managed to remember the fight he and Emma had before he rushed off and how he'd drank his heart out.

Things after that were a blur.

Crossing the hall to his apartment, he unlocked the door and stepped in when he saw Milah sitting at his kitchen table eating cereal.

“What in the devil are you doing here? And why the fuck are wearing my t-shirt?” he asked angrily.

Milah frowned at his reaction to her presence. “Good morning to you, too,” she said sarcastically and stood up, walking over to him. “Here I was starting to get worried about you.”

“You didn't answer my questions,” he demanded again. “Why the hell are you here and why did you taint my shirt?”

Milah looked offended, eyes flooding with hurt. “Because, Killian, it's your birthday.” She stepped up to him, closing the distance between them. She tried to put her hands on his chest, but he derailed her movements, gently grabbing her wrists to stop her.

Milah became irritated and snatched her hands away.

“I'm going to ask you one more time…”

“I already told you,” she bit out, anger flaring in her eyes. “I came here to the States for your birthday. I missed you, Killy, and I want us to get back together.”

And there it was.

“Don't call me that.”

Milah’s lips formed a pout. “But you're my Killy bear, you'll always be my Killiy bear.” She tried to touch him again but he stepped back before she could.

“Don't touch me. I'm not your anything,” he stated and casually walked past her towards the kitchen. “Now, get the fuck out.” He retrieved some coffee grounds and dumped out the coffee that was already in the pot, pouring every last drop before cleaning it out. He wasn’t about to drink coffee she had made. “And take off my shirt. But not out here,” he clarified, thinking about the last time he’d asked someone to take off his shirt. Although, last time it was his blonde beauty, and he would never complain about that incident. Milah, however, was the last person he wanted to see parading around naked. “Get your damn clothes and get the hell out.”

Milah’s eyes went wild with anger as she watched him. “What are you doing? I already made coffee.”

“And I’m remaking it,” he stated in a breezy tone. “I don’t want anything you’ve touched.”

She huffed out her frustration, crossing her arms over her chest, her jaw clenched as she stared at him with eyes full of fire. “Killian, I flew all the way from England to be with you.”

“Yeah, well I flew all the way here to get away from you,” Killian said as he filled the coffee pot with water.

Milah walked across the kitchen, her features twisting into a scowl. “You are so ungrateful. You were a stumbling drunk last night, I took care of you and helped you to bed and this is how you repay me?”

Killian emptied the water into the machine and set the pot underneath before turning around and planting his hands on his hips with an imploring look on his face. “What exactly happened last night?”

“I waited for you in front of your apartment last night, and you came home drunk, so I helped you inside and you told me how you broke up with Emma or whatever her name is. So I tucked you into bed and joined you so you wouldn't be alone. When I woke up you were gone.”

Bloody hell. Did he really tell Milah about his breakup? Killian narrowed his eyes at Milah. “I what?”

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “You told me you broke up with her and how miserable you were. If you ask me, she doesn't deserve you. I'm the one who took care of you last night.”

That was hilarious coming from her. “Yeah well Emma is the one who took care of me when you broke my heart. And she was a complete stranger to me at the time.”

Milah glared at him, but did not retract as Killian started walking past her.

“Didn't I tell you to get the fuck out?”

Before she could answer, Killian left the kitchen and went to his bedroom, Milah hot on his heels. He grabbed her bag and tossed it to her with a stern look on his face. “Now take your things and get out.”

Milah huffed as Killian left her in the room so she could change out of his shirt.

Ten minutes later, she was in her clothes as she stormed out of the bedroom with her bag strapped over her shoulder, tugging on her shoes along the way to the front door.

She threw his t-shirt at him with a, “Here's your stupid shirt!” and hauled the door open, but he didn't bother to catch it, knowing where it'd been, and let it fall to the floor. He'd have to remember to wash the thing very thoroughly.

Before Milah left, she had to get her final words in. “I'm leaving, but don't come crawling back to me when Emma won't take your pompous ass back!”

“Believe me, I won't,” he tossed back calmly before she scowled at him. He just grinned at her, unafflicted, which made her angrier, and she dashed out, slamming the door shut behind her.

Killian breathed a sigh of relief at the fact she was gone. He didn't know what he would've done if Emma had come over to find her there. He tried to call her again, but he was immediately directed to her voicemail, and left a message hoping he would hear from her soon.

His stomach started growling so he went to the kitchen to cook some breakfast. Honestly, he was craving blueberry pancakes because his mum always made him blueberry pancakes on his birthday, but instead he settled for something simpler. He retrieved the milk and gathered supplies to make scrambled eggs and sausage. He used the last of the eggs and went over to the trash can to dispose of the empty carton. It was the kind with a lid that swung open, but as he tried to dispose of the empty carton, the lid didn't move. It was blocked by something so he removed the lid, seeing a round plastic container on top of the already full garbage.

“Really, Liam?” he grumbled to himself. “And you always give me grief for throwing large items in the trash can instead of taking it directly out to the dumpster.” Why was there a plastic container in there anyways? Killian went to grab it, but the lid was unlatched, and the container ended up falling to the floor.

Killian sighed and bent over to pick it up when he noticed the stack of golden pancakes. Why would anyone throw away delicious pancakes? And were those blueberries? “What a waste,” he mumbled and grabbed the cover when he noticed there was a piece of paper taped to the inside of it. Arching a brow in curiosity, he carefully ripped off the note, seeing the flourished words written there on the page.

I know these pancakes don't make up for anything, but I know they're your favorite. Even if you don't take me back, my heart will still beat for you, Killian Jones. Happy birthday.

Always your Swan

His heart fluttered, a smile blooming over his lips. Perhaps he hadn't ruined things with her after all. He should've never pressured her into telling everyone about their relationship. He shouldn't have pushed her. He would have never forgiven himself if she’d told people just for the sake of pleasing him, as uncomfortable as she would have been. He felt like such an arse. He knew in his heart she was nothing like Milah. She wasn't trying to cover up their relationship so she could go back to her husband at night. She did it because she was scared. Of what exactly, he didn't know. But he was willing to wait until she was ready to tell him.

Killian lifted his eyes, still holding the paper, which was sticky from the pancakes, but he would never dream of throwing the note away. He would have to frame this.

Killian was still smiling as he went to his bedroom to find a safe place to put it for the time being. As he reached his door, reality suddenly crashed over him, his smile instantly vanished and his face drained of blood.

Oh Fuck.

Emma must have been at his place, because why else would the pancakes be in his trash can? She must have dropped by when Killian was gone…. when Milah was there… in nothing but his Kiss shirt— his and Emma's Kiss shirt. Killian instantly transformed into panic mode. He placed the note on his dresser and dug out the phone from his pocket, quickly dialing Milah's number.

“Well, that didn't take long,” she laughed when she answered. “I knew you couldn’t actually let me leave.”

Killian cringed. Of course she thought he was trying to get back with her. “Was Emma here at my place this morning,” he demanded, unamused.

“No, she wasn't,” Milah answered, her tone oozing with irritation.

“Don't lie to me, Milah. I saw the pancakes in the trash with a note from her.”

A dramatic sigh passed through the phone. “Yes, she stopped by. She came with the intention of crawling back to you, so of course I shut her down.”

Fear rushed through his blood, his entire body rigid. “What the hell did you do?”

“I only gave her a taste of her own medicine,” she replied sweetly.

His eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about? What did she ever do to you?”

She scoffed. “Well, I don't know if you're aware of this, but Emma answered your phone one time while you were in the shower and said you never returned my calls because you were busy giving her multiple orgasms…”

Killian froze completely, almost crushing the phone in his hand. “Oh, Milah, please tell me you didn't.” His words were cracked with fear and panic, a shiver racing down his spine.

“Oh, but I did.” Killian could almost hear her smirking devilishly over the phone. “And I have to say, the look on her face right before she ran off, was absolutely priceless.”

Killian immediately hung up and wasted not a moment more, fleeing out the door and across to Emma's, unlocking the door and rushing in. He scrambled for her room and opened her drawers, hoping and praying she didn't take off. But to his dismay, her drawers nearly were emptied and when he went to her closet, there were some empty hangers, and her suitcase was gone.

Heart twisting in his chest, he couldn't breathe, the air completely missing from his lungs. This was all his fault. If he hadn't suggested they tell everyone about their relationship, if he hadn't given her an ultimatum and broke up her with her, if he hadn't fled from her flat last night, then Emma wouldn't have left.

Completely deflated, he trudged to the kitchen. He started pacing quickly, running his hand over his face and trying to figure out how he was going to fix this. Sometime between his frantic walking back and forth he lifted his eyes and spotted a key on the counter. He went over and picked it up, seeing it was a copy of the key to the apartment he was currently in. He knew it was hers because it had a Buttercup design on it.

This only meant one thing. Emma was gone for good.

Killian’s heart plummeted; he couldn't believe she’d just up and left. Where would she even go on such short notice? Perhaps a motel? No. Killian curled his fingers around the key, pondering that thought for a moment. Where did she always go to find retreat? And who would take her into their loving home, no matter what?

There were only two people he could think of who didn't currently live in this apartment.

Dashing out the door, he frantically ran down the steps as he called Liam.

“Killian, what's up?”

“Brother, is Elsa there with you?” he asked impatiently.

“Yeah, she’s with me. What’s going on?”

“Could you ask Elsa where the Nolans live?” he demanded, ignoring Liam’s question as he jumped into his car. Turning on the speakerphone, he mounted the device to the dashboard so he could talk while driving.

“Elsa’s using the ladies’ room right now, but I can tell you where they live. I've picked Emma up from there before, when her car had broken down.”

“Alright, text me the address.” he grumbled, peeling out out of the parking lot. Killian knew roughly about where they lived, on the outskirts of the city, but he hoped he was heading in the right direction.

“Will do,” Liam agreed and gave him directions over the phone. Depending on the traffic, it would take about forty five minutes to an hour to get there. “Can I ask why you're going there?” Liam questioned curiously.

“It's a long story,” Killian sighed, trying to weave through traffic, wanting to get to Emma as soon as he could. He hated every second he wasn't with her, and he was anxious and nervous about whether she would take him back or not.

“Does it have anything to do with you breaking up with Emma?” Liam asked quietly.

Killian’s eyes blew wide, the area between his brows furrowing. “Wait, you know about that?”

A heavy sigh was expelled through the phone. “Who do you think held her and let her cry until she was able to talk about it?”

Killian gritted his teeth. “And I'm sure you enjoy throwing that in my face.” He didn’t like the idea of Emma running into another man’s arms, even if Liam was his brother. But he only had himself to blame. He hurt Emma, and now he had to reap the consequences. It just hurt like hell.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he answered, but it was not in a light manner. Killian could tell Liam wasn’t happy with him. “You’re lucky I don’t slap you upside the head for what you did to her.”

“Liam, believe me, I’m already slapping myself over the head, but right now I’ve got a bigger problem.”

“A bigger problem than hurting Emma?”

“Okay, it’s the same problem, but I apparently managed to make it worse. Milah showed up at our flat last night when I came home drunk.”

Killian didn’t hear anything from the other line for what seemed like an eternity.

“Liam?” he muttered, thinking his brother had hung up the phone.

“You didn't let her in, did you?”

“I was drunk and apparently lost my mind last night. I did break up with Emma, remember?”

Killian couldn’t see his brother, but he could hear Liam’s anger and disappointment as much as he attempted to mask it with a more relaxed tone. “Alright, so what happened?”

“Nothing happened. Milah helped me in and slept in my bed, so I went to my car and slept. Meanwhile, Emma showed up this morning to make up with me, only to find Milah in nothing but my Kiss t-shirt. So she went to her apartment, packed her clothes and fled, leaving her key behind.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” Liam remarked, agitation and bewilderment edging his words. Killian knew if he were with his brother right now, he’d definitely be slapping him upside the head. “You need to fix this, Killian, before I kick your arse.”

To that, Killian rolled his eyes. “Really, because I thought it would just fix itself,” he spat, sarcasm lacing his words.

“No need to be snarky, smart ass. You are the one who fucked this up by breaking it off with Emma in the first place.”

“Don't remind me,” Killian pleaded softly as he came to another bloody red light. He was never going to get to his Swan at this rate.

“So I can assume you're not going to be home until late tonight?”

“You can, but hopefully when I do come home, I will be with Emma,” Killian answered optimistically. He had to be positive and have faith he could win his baby back.

“Good luck, Killian.”

“Thanks, something tells me I'm gonna to need it.”

“Just don't fuck this up with her… again,” Liam warned sternly.

“Any other words of wisdom?” Killian asked snidely.

“Nope, just tell me Milah's out of our place because otherwise I’m gonna kick her out myself.”

“Don't worry, she’s gone,” Killian reassured his brother.

“Thank God. Now go get Emma.”

“On my way, don't forget to text me the address.”

“I won't. And Killian?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks, brother.”

Killian hung up and eagerly awaited the text so he could plug it into his GPS. No matter what he had to do, he was going to get his Swan back.

Or at least he hoped so.
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A Helping Hand