Adult-FanFiction.org : Television / Streaming

Der Meißel der Seele	By : Wertiyurae Category: G through L > Hogan's Heroes Views: 1599 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own the television series that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 16
- 17
- 18
.
Hogan ignored the questioning looks he received from his men when he entered Barracks 2 under the watchful eye of Corporal Kruger. He ignored the questions they asked him when he made his way to his office. He shut the door behind him before walking over to his window and staring out into the compound. Klink was still there, in front of the building. It didn’t look like he was doing much of anything besides staring at the ground, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. What was going on now?

Apparently nothing. Almost as soon as Hogan asked himself the question, Klink started for the steps. He watched him until he walked up the steps and disappeared inside the office building. Then Hogan made his way to his bunk and sank down (an exaggeration: the mattress wasn’t quite thick enough to ‘sink’ more than a quarter inch) onto it. He took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair. God, what a night this had turned out to be.

And, with everything he had to think about, he knew that the night wasn’t close to being over. He hung his hat on the edge of the bunk and rubbed his face, trying to wake himself up a little. Maybe he should see if there was any coffee left in his Red Cross package. Some caffeine would clear up the grogginess nicely. Then he remembered that the last of his coffee had gone to LeBeau who had attempted to bake something with it. Some kind of pastry. Unfortunately, while the stove was fine for cooking things on top of it, the attempt to convert it into an oven had been less than successful. LeBeau had been crestfallen for days . . .

He shook his head. Well, no matter. With all the disturbing things he’d seen and the way his mind was racing, he doubted he could fall asleep if he’d wanted to.

Damn Klink anyway! If he hadn’t agreed to deal with Adler, Hogan wouldn’t have to had to worry about any of this in the first place. This was all his fault! Klink could have gotten himself out of this mess if he’d wanted to.

Except Hogan wasn’t sure that was true anymore. Every time he’d thought about what else Klink could have done, he never came up with anything that didn’t end with Klink being tortured and killed. It was beginning to look like Klink’s only two choices had been sleeping with Adler or taking his chances with the Gestapo. The latter was suicide, of course, but the former . . . How could he agree to that?

A knock at his door interrupted his musings. He looked up in time to see the door swing open to reveal Kinch, Newkirk and LeBeau. “Can we come in, sir?” Kinch spoke for all of them.

“Look’s like you’re already in,” Hogan said, forcing himself to sound amused about it. “What can I do for you?”

Newkirk stepped forward. “We just wanted to know how it went.” Then he looked around, as if searching for something. “And where Carter’s gone off to.”

How it went? Well, at least he wouldn’t have to lie about that. “It didn’t,” he answered, not having to fake the irritation in his voice, “and Carter’s in the cooler but I can probably get him out tomorrow.”

“What happened, Colonel? Did you get the plans?” LeBeau asked.

When Hogan had broached the ‘escape’ subject with the men, he’d decided not to tell them that it was for Klink. For one thing, he didn’t want to explain to them why Klink wanted to get out of camp and, for another, he knew that he’d have to cajole them to get involved with the mission and he simply hadn’t been in the mood for that.

Instead, he told them that London had told him that there was an underground group that had stolen some plans for a new missile prototype and that they were planning to hide these plans under a certain bridge for Hogan to pick up and then send along to London. Considering that he’d come up with this less than five minutes before he talked to the men, he thought that it was rather convincing.

“It was a waste of time,” Hogan replied, shrugging. “Either London got some bad intelligence or the group changed it’s mind. I didn’t find any plans.”

Newkirk frowned and, for a moment, it looked as though he was going to question something. Then he shrugged to himself.

LeBeau, on the other hand, seemed satisfied. “It's cold tonight; Carter will need something to warm him up.” He gave Hogan a pleading look. “May I go?”

Hogan hesitated. That wasn’t such a good idea for many reasons.

“Can I go too, governor?” Newkirk asked, a too innocent expression on his face. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen the inside of the cooler, you know.”

But, good idea or not, sometimes, you have to know when to bow to the inevitable. Unfortunately, it would mean that, after tonight, he would have to explain to the three of them just what had been going on for the last two days. Even if Carter had a tendency to be less attentive if the subject wasn’t explosives, he wasn’t blind. Also, despite how well he hid it sometimes, he wasn’t stupid either. What he’d seen tonight definitely fell into the range of unusual and, well, it wasn’t as though Hogan had had a chance to order him to keep it all to himself.

It wasn’t a conversation he was looking forward to or one that he felt prepared for. “Of course, just don’t be too long.” He watched them go, feeling tired. About the only good thing that would come out of it was that he’d be able to stop lying to them. Which was a pretty good thing, now that he was thinking about it.

“Sir?”

He wasn’t looking forward to the conversation he was planning on having with Kinch now either. But he knew that that was inevitable too. “Shut the door, Kinch.” Once he had done so, Hogan gestured to the chair by the table. “Sit down.”

Kinch sat and regarded Hogan with curiosity. “Is there something you want to talk to me about, sir?”

“You could say that.” Hogan took a moment to collect his thoughts. “You said yesterday that you thought that what’s happening with Klink was a bit like rape, right?” At Kinch’s slow nod, he pressed on. “Why did you think that?”

Kinch blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting the question. “I guess it first came to me after Adler kissed Klink.” At Hogan’s questioning look, he elaborated. “One second, Adler says something about a demonstration, then about a minute of silence, and then he says that Klink didn’t like being kissed.” He sat back in the chair. “Anyway, Klink didn’t sound happy about Adler forcing himself on him and that’s what made me first think of it. When Adler gave him the choice between having sex with him or taking his chances with the Gestapo . . . If Klink wanted to save his skin, he had no choice - Adler was forcing his hand and rape is when a woman’s forced so . . .” He shrugged. “It just seemed like it could be the same thing.”

Hogan wished it was as cut and dry to him. It sounded simple enough when Kinch put it like that, but there was something inside him that didn’t think it mattered if it was rape or not. That Klink should have fought back, even to the point of risking his life, to get out of it. Anything but just meekly accepting what Adler did to him. And that no man would allow himself to be used like that if it wasn’t what he wanted. So, since Klink didn’t fight back, he must have wanted it.

Remembering what he’d seen tonight, a broken man sitting in the back of a dark truck, he couldn’t believe that was true either. Klink’s behavior had shaken him and, for the first time, he was beginning to feel genuinely concerned about the Kommandant - not just because an incapacitated Klink would be bad for the operation but because Klink obviously was having serious problems. Because Klink, the person, was in pain. He didn’t even like the man but he was worried about him for his own sake.

The two sides of him warred and, to be honest, he wasn’t sure what he believed anymore. He hoped that Kinch would be able to give him some more puzzle pieces to work with, some more thoughts to consider. See how he answered the questions that had been plaguing Hogan since this whole mess began.

“You don’t think Klink wanted to have sex with Adler?”

Kinch raised an eye brow in obvious disbelief. “Not a chance. You didn’t hear Adler talk to him.” He leaned forward, putting his hands on his knees. “Made my skin crawl and I was thirty feet away. Klink has more wrong with him than I ever thought if he’d want to sleep with someone like that - besides, I really doubt that Klink would want to sleep with anyone who was willing to throw him to the Gestapo.”

Recalling the many lovely enemy agents he’d met in his time, Hogan didn’t think this argument was quite good enough, Kinch’s skin crawling aside. In the line of duty, he’d been attracted to plenty of women who wanted him dead. “Would it make a difference if he was homosexual?”

“I’ve . . . never had any reason to believe that Klink liked men that way,” Kinch said slowly, incredulously, as though he suddenly had reason to believe that maybe Hogan had lost his mind. Judging by the expression on his face, it wasn’t a subject he wanted to think about. “Why, have you?”

“No, but let’s pretend for a second that he is,” Hogan insisted, refusing to be sidetracked. “Would that make a difference as far as wanting what happened to him is concerned? Adler is a handsome man if you like them Aryan.”

Still looking baffled by the question, he shook his head. “I don’t think it makes a difference: Adler still forced Klink to have sex with him.” Perhaps seeing the skepticism that Hogan was trying to hide, he frowned. “When a man forces a woman to have sex, I don’t think she likes it or wants it because she usually likes to sleep with men. Even if Klink did like men that way, Adler still had to threaten him with the Gestapo to get him to agree.”

There was that. It always came back to that. As paranoid as the German military was lately - had always been? - there was little doubt in Hogan’s mind that Adler could do as he’d threatened and quite easily. For a man like Klink, one who would be willing to do anything to preserve his life, there hadn’t been any alternative. He was beginning to believe that much. But, even so, Hogan had no doubts that, if he had been in that position, he’d fight to the last. As long as there had been the slimmest of chances, he would have fought it. Why did Klink just give in?

“Because he wanted to live,” Kinch answered baldly, telling Hogan that he’d said at least his last thought out loud. He frowned and favored Hogan with a perplexed look. “Sir, you know Klink better than I do; wouldn’t he do just about anything to save his skin?” Shaking his head, he splayed his hands out in a frustrated gesture. “Why does that bother you? It’s not like he used anyone else for a scapegoat to do it - I can’t blame him for wanting to live.”

Hogan frowned back, his own frustration building. “And what would you have done, Kinch? Would you have let Adler have his way with you? Would you have played the whore too?”

Kinch folded his arms, his frown deepening. “I don’t know what I would have done,” he said tightly. “I can say that I would rather die than let that happen to me but, when faced with the actual decision,” his expression softened as his arms uncrossed, “I don’t know what I’d do.” He looked Hogan in the eyes. “How can any of us know what we’d do until it’s happened to us?”

“I’d know,” Hogan said firmly even as he mentally conceded Kinch’s point. Seeing the disbelief bloom on the other man’s face, he decided to ask another question before Kinch could gather up any more steam for the subject. “Now, you said it was like rape and that Klink would change. Do you think it works the same way for men and women?” He wasn’t quite ready to concede that point yet but he was interested in knowing Kinch’s opinion.

“That I’m not sure about,” Kinch confessed, accepting the change in subject with grace. “I’m no psychiatrist and it’s not like I’ve been in contact with many people who’ve been raped.” He shrugged. “I’m not an expert.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Hogan countered more tersely than he’d meant to. “I just want to know what you think about it.”

Kinch stared at him for a long moment, his expression searching. “I think that it’s time you tell me what this is all about, sir. Did something happen tonight?”

Hogan considered denying it. However, maybe having Kinch’s perspective on tonight’s events would be helpful. “You could say that.” He went on to explain to Kinch what he’d observed of Klink’s behavior, from surprising him in his bedroom to trying to get his attention in the back of the truck. Once he’d finished, he shook his head. “I don’t know if you were right about everything but you damn near prophetic when you said he’d change.”

For his part, Kinch seemed taken aback. “I wasn’t sure,” he admitted in a stunned tone. “I’d only thought it might be like what happened to my sister’s friend. But it all fits,” he held up a hand and ticked the points off as he named them, “not liking to be touched, being emotional, afraid of men, that episode you described - she acted just like that after she’d been raped.” He leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. “I can’t believe it.”

Contrary to his words, it was obvious that he did believe. Hogan wasn’t as ready to consign himself to that theory. “I’m still not convinced that’s what we’re dealing with here.”

Kinch straightened in his seat, some of his earlier ire returning. “Then what, sir? What are we dealing with?”

“I don’t know,” Hogan snapped before reminding himself that it wasn’t Kinch he was angry with. “”I don’t know,” he repeated softly. That was about the only thing he was certain of. He didn’t know if the Kommandant was a victim of anything beyond his own stupidity and what difference it made if what Adler was doing to him was anything besides a particularly nasty brand of blackmail. He didn’t know if what Klink had surrendered to was the lesser or greater of two evils, if he’d made the right choice or if he should have fought to the last. He didn’t know why Klink was acting the way he was acting or if he should even care about it beyond what difficulties it would present him when he had to deal with the man.

He couldn’t even be certain that this whole mess wasn’t Klink’s fault in the first place or what it meant if it wasn’t.

“What are you going to do?”

It was galling. Even if Hogan wanted to help, the fact of the matter was that there was nothing he could do. That Kinch was asking him the question as if there was and he just wasn’t seeing it, only made the feeling worse.

“There’s nothing I can do,” he stated with heat, standing because he was too keyed up to sit anymore. “I can’t do anything about Adler unless I want a lot of Gestapo scrutiny. I can’t get Klink out of the country because we need him here and I don’t know how I’d explain his disappearance anyway.” He threw up his hands. “And I couldn’t do that even if I could because I can’t justify putting the men in danger for this.” Striding towards the window, he stared out at the sweeping searchlights. “So, if you’ve got any suggestions, feel free to tell me.”

He hadn’t expected an answer to his sarcastic plea so he was surprised when he received one. “You could talk to him. Get him to open up to you. Be supportive.”

Slowly, Hogan turned back around. “Talk to him? How can I talk to him? Kinch, in case you’ve forgotten, he’s terrified of me.” Shaking his head, he returned his gaze out the window. “Besides, we’re on opposite sides of the war . . . Pretending for a moment that what’s happening is what you think it is, I really doubt that I’m the one he’d want to talk to.” He smiled tightly even though Kinch couldn’t see it. “And I don’t think I could discuss it with him even if I was. I’m still not sure that this whole mess isn’t his fault.”

A long pause. “I told you that my sister’s friend committed suicide.” Kinch said his apparent non sequitur quietly. “Did I tell you why she killed herself?”

Something in Kinch’s tone made Hogan turn to face him again. “No.”

“Because it ate her up inside. Because the people who didn’t think she’d lead the man on or was making it up told her that the best way to deal with the problem was to pretend that it didn’t exist. Act like it hadn’t happened. Even her parents told her, if she didn’t talk about it, it would all just go away.” He shook his head, saddened and sickened by the memory. “She lasted a month before she couldn’t take it anymore.”

“That’s terrible,” Hogan said with sympathy, “but Klink isn’t in the same boat she was. She couldn’t choose what happened to her; he chose what happened to him.” Right, because he could have chosen death instead, a sardonic voice mused.

Kinch’s expression darkened and Hogan could see how much it was costing him to remain calm. “And what about the changes? If he chose what happened to him, why is he acting so differently?”

Hogan shrugged, brushing off his concerns as unimportant. “He’s just feeling out of sorts. I’m sure once Adler leaves, Klink will be his same old, obnoxious self again.” How much he wished he actually believed that! If only this situation was that simple.

It took several seconds for Kinch to collect himself and, when he spoke, he couldn’t hide his frustration. “Maybe I’m wrong, sir, and maybe Klink wasn’t raped - I mean, I wasn’t even certain that’s what it really was until you told me what happened tonight. And maybe, if he was, it’s different for men.” Standing, he turned away from Hogan as he spoke. “Maybe you’re right and Klink’ll just snap out of this as soon as Adler leaves. Maybe nothing has to be done at all.”

He paused and turned back, allowing Hogan to see his deepening frown. “But what if he doesn’t snap out of it? What if he can’t handle it on his own?” Gesturing out the window, he stepped closer to his commanding officer. “Will it matter whether or not it was his fault if he commits suicide? When he gets replaced by God knows who?” Now, inches from Hogan’s face, Kinch glared. “I’m not all that fond of Klink but I don’t think he deserves what Adler’s doing to him and I don’t think you ought to leave him to the wolves because you don’t think he fought hard enough.”

Hogan gave him a long, measured look. “Are you finished?”

Kinch paused before backing up and drawing himself into an attention stance. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said, sounding remarkably unrepentant, “I just wanted you to see what could be at stake here.” He shrugged, the amiable gesture belied by the tenseness of it. “You’re my commander and I’ll do whatever you order me to - if this is the last time you want to talk about this, it’s the last time I’ll bring it up. Whatever happens now is up to you; all I ask is that you think about it.”

Hogan considered Kinch and he allowed himself to relax. Being preached to was never something he enjoyed but he was grateful that Kinch was being honest with him. It was clear that he believed full heartedly in what he was saying that he thought it was important for him to know. Even when Hogan didn’t agree with the man’s opinion, he still valued his advice. This time, he wasn’t sure whether he actually didn’t agree; he needed a bit more information before he could make that call.

If nothing else, Kinch had given him a lot of things to think about. That wouldn’t make for a particularly restful night but anything that could possibly help him when it came to dealing with Klink tomorrow was welcome. “Kinch, I don’t know if you’re right or not but I promise I’ll think about what you’ve said.”

Kinch’s stance became more at ease and he smiled a small smile. “Thank you, sir.”

Hogan nodded and clapped his hands. “Now that’s taken care of, I need your help.”

“For what, sir?” Kinch asked warily.

He grinned and threw an arm around Kinch’s shoulder. “You can help me figure out what to tell Newkirk and LeBeau tomorrow.”
.
- 16
- 17
- 18
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Der Meißel der Seele