Footman in Training | By : imdirty Category: 1 through F > Downton Abbey Views: 2641 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Downton Abbey and am not making money from this story. And I'm hoping I'm doing this disclaimer thing right :) |
Mr. Carson knew he would find Price awake and completing tasks before the other men. He asked Price to put down the boot polish and come into his office.
“Is everything alright, Mr. Carson?” Price asked, wiping his hands on his apron.
“I should say it is. Lady Mary and Mr. Branson have been reviewing the estate finances and they remembered that we never replaced Sean. We didn’t have to with you on the staff. With some of the savings, I’m pleased to let you know that you have been promoted to first footman. There will be a small increase in your wages to go along with your new title.”
Price smiled radiantly. “I’d shake your hand if I weren't so dirty. Thank you so much, Mr. Carson.”
“Well I had a say in it, of course, but it was Lady Mary and Mr. Branson who made the decision. I must ask that you not share the news of your raise with the other staff. Some haven’t earned an increase in some time, and I don’t need a line at my door requesting one.”
“Yes, Mr. Carson, I understand. The title alone is an honor.”
At breakfast, after everyone was settled at their places, Mr. Carson shared the news of Price’s promotion. Price received pats on the back and congratulations, but Thomas was noticeably quiet. Price tried to catch his eye, but Thomas kept his eyes averted through the meal.
Price was assigned tasks that kept him busy all morning, running throughout the Abbey without crossing Thomas’s path once. His anxiety climbed as the morning hours wore on wondering why Thomas was silent at breakfast. He finally saw Thomas in the dining room for luncheon table setting, but there were others present, and again Thomas would not look him in the eye.
“What is it?” Price whispered as Thomas looked over a place setting.
“You don’t take a hint, do you? I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
Price waited for Mr. Molesley to walk by and then followed Thomas to the next place setting. “What did I do?”
Thomas held his posture straight and kept working, but his lips were tight. “Don’t make me ask again, David. Give me some space.”
Thomas left the dining room to fetch some dishes from downstairs, and Price followed. He caught up to Thomas just as Thomas reached the bottom landing. Thomas turned on his heel and came face to face with Price.
“Are you deaf today? What part of ‘leave me alone’ is hard for you to understand?”
“Everything was fine yesterday.”
“Then today I hear of your promotion over toast.”
“I thought you’d be happy for me.”
Mr. Molesley pushed through the door above them. He trotted down the steps and stopped on the landing. “Something wrong?” he asked both men.
“No, nothing’s wrong, David’s just letting his promotion go to his head and making some errors today. I’m correcting him.”
“Alright,” Mr. Molesley said, dragging out the word. He descended the rest of the stairs and looked back up at them before disappearing.
“Even he seemed happy for me.”
“Well la-dee-da, David. You know, I’ve never even heard of Mr. Carson giving someone a promotion before they’d been here a year. You haven’t even been a second footman a year.”
“My first days here I told you I wanted to do well here and move up. That’s why I left my old house.”
“So you have your eye on my job, then?”
“No! ‘Course not.”
“You’ve no idea how hard I had to work to get where I am. And tell me - your new job came with a raise, didn’t it?”
Price looked out of the window past Thomas. “No. No, it’s just a title.”
“You’re lying. You’re lying to me again. That’s the same tone I heard in your voice when I asked about the letter.”
“So what if it did come with a raise?” Price asked, looking from the window to his feet. “Have I not earned it? I work hard and I do a good job.” Price lifted his eyes to Thomas, though his face was still downcast.
“Don’t play puppy, David. Not with me.”
Both men looked down as they heard a creak at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m not sure what’s going on up there, but we have a luncheon to serve. Get a move on, gentlemen.”
Thomas huffed through luncheon service and knocked on Mr. Carson’s office door shortly after the dining room was cleared.
“Mr. Carson, may I have a word?”
Mr. Carson leaned back in his desk chair and pressed his fingers together. “What is it, Mr. Barrow?”
Thomas stood on the opposite side of Mr. Carson’s desk, his shoulders straight and head raised. “If there was money in the household budget to give raises, I should have thought those of us who have given many years here would be first to receive it.”
“Why are you talking about raises?”
“I can tell David’s promotion came with one, he didn’t have to say it. Mr. Carson, my wage increases have barely kept up with inflation the past few years. My savings haven’t budged in as much time. I don’t understand why David gets a raise while I get next to nothing year after year.”
“David earned his promotion by going above and beyond, and I wasn’t the only one to take notice.”
Thomas began to feel exasperated, and laughed uncomfortably. “I can’t be expected to work at the pace of a man nearly ten years my junior.”
“I don’t compare you to him, Mr. Barrow. I compare you to the performance I expect from an under-butler. Some days you do the bare minimum just to get by. Now I’m not saying you don’t do your duties well, but you’re not exceeding expectations.”
“I feel like I could save the entire staff and family from certain death and it wouldn’t impress anyone here.”
Mr. Carson leaned forward in his chair and rested his hands on the desk. “Then maybe you’ve been here too long.”
“I see. Maybe you could promote David again tomorrow, give him my position, and I can take his old job as second footman.”
“I suggest you leave my office before you say something you’ll regret.”
Thomas nodded. “Yes, I suppose I should.” He stomped to the servant’s hall and grabbed a newspaper. He settled into a seat by the fire, but was in no mood to read. He sat for half an hour staring at the crackling logs until the servant’s tea shook him from his daze.
Anna announced her pregnancy at tea, and a room full of more congratulations was too much for Thomas. He pushed his cup and plate away, everything barely touched.
“This came for you,” Mr. Carson said, handing Thomas a small orange envelope. Thomas sighed. Eric had typewritten Thomas’s name and address this time, just like the letter he saw in Price’s dresser.
My dear friend,
I have to go to Bombay for a few weeks, but then I’m coming to see you, even if it’s not your half day and I have to throw pebbles at your window and wave to you in the dark. I worry about you, especially because I feel like you don’t write to me as often anymore. I know I’ll feel better just setting eyes on you. I’m bringing a copy of your picture with me so I can look at the face I miss while I’m traveling. I should be back before Christmas.
Yours,
- E
Thomas rubbed his thumb over the handwritten words on the paper, and then went to his room and took Eric’s picture from his suitcase. He had no difficulty or guilty feelings allowing himself thoughts of Eric that afternoon.
Thomas went down to the kitchen feeling quite cheerful and watched Daisy prepare a pudding he’d never seen before. “What is it?” He asked, picking up a piece between his thumb and forefinger.
“I’m not sure what it’s called,” Daisy said. “Or, well, I can’t pronounce it. Something Nora came down and asked for this morning, she knew the recipe by heart. She said she ate them all the time when she lived in India.”
“I didn’t realize she spent time there. Have you tried one?”
“Yes, they’re good. Different flavor and texture, but good.”
Thomas bit off half of the piece between his fingers, then finished the other half and licked his thumb. “They are good, Daisy. May I have another?”
Daisy looked around and smiled. “Just one more.”
“You always let me sneak a piece of pudding. Thank you, Daisy.”
“You’re so jolly now, what’s gotten into you since this morning?”
Thomas took his second piece and chewed a bite. “A nice letter from a friend arrived.”
“A friend? What friend?”
“You don’t know him. Speaking of India, he’s actually on his way to Bombay right now.”
“Really?” Daisy asked, intrigued. She continued forming balls and handed a third to Thomas. “What’s he doing in India?”
“It’s for work.”
“Is he a servant? Traveling with the family?”
Thomas finished the piece Daisy gave him and thought over what she asked. “Yes. That’s why he’s going to India.”
“I wonder why the Lord and Lady never travel there.”
“I don’t know, but keep making these Indian treats and maybe you’ll inspire them to visit.”
Daisy closed her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure, and then they can bring me with them to be their personal traveling cook. It’d be warm and sunny, none a’ this bleak winter nonsense.”
“Pardon me for taking you out of your daydream, but have you seen David? He wasn’t at tea.”
“It’s his half day, he said he’s spending the afternoon helping Nanny with Nora and then going to the pub. Do you want to bring some of the finished… whatever these are… up to the nursery?”
Thomas made up a small plate of the confections and went upstairs. He could hear squeals in the nursery from down the gallery hall. Nanny Rebecca and the younger children were playing Ring Around the Rosie, while Price sat on a chair with Nora on his lap. Nora was reading aloud from a well-worn copy of The Velveteen Rabbit, her own rabbit sitting beside them. Master George broke from his game to run to Thomas for a hug. Thomas lifted him and let him take a piece from the plate.
“Just one,” Thomas said. “One for each of you, and the rest for Nora. What’s that book?” Thomas asked as he put George back on the ground.
“It’s my very favorite, I read it at least once a week.” Nora handed the book to Thomas so he could look through it.
“You’re a good reader.”
“I told you, I’m good at a lot.”
Thomas let Sybbie and Marigold take their pieces and gave the plate to Nora. She jumped off Price’s lap and sat in the corner with the plate.
“What about me? Don’t I get one?” Price asked, his hands on his hips.
Nora ran back and held a piece out for Price, then popped it into her mouth before he could take it. She laughed and held out another, and he bit it from her fingers before she could snatch it away.
“Do they taste like you hoped?” Thomas asked Nora.
“They do. Finally, something edible around here.”
“I need to borrow David for a minute. Can you spare him?”
Nora put her nose in the air. “Fine, but not for long. I want to finish my book properly.”
Price reluctantly rose from his seat and joined Thomas in an alcove down the hall from the nursery. “What have I done now? You asked me to stay away from you and I have.”
Thomas took the orange envelope from his jacket. “This looks strikingly similar to your letter, doesn’t it? I thought I’d come up and give you one more chance to tell the truth.”
Price exhaled through his nose and rocked back on his heels. “It was from Eric. There. Are you happy?”
Thomas put the envelope back in his jacket.
“But we barely wrote, it’s not whatever you’re thinking.”
Thomas smiled coolly. “I don’t care if it’s the most innocent letter ever penned. What do you think you’re doing writing to him?”
“Would it be so bad if he and I were friends?”
Thomas’s eyes widened and the smile left his face. His eyes looked amber colored, reflecting the warm lights in the hall. “Why yes, David, it would, because I didn’t introduce you. I could have at the train in London, and I didn’t.”
“I suppose I introduced myself. I don’t understand why that’s a problem.”
“David, I need you to hear my words for once. Are you listening?”
Price huffed and looked up at Thomas. “Yes.”
“I am allowed to have a life outside of the house that doesn’t include anyone in it, and that means you, too. From the moment you pulled the letter from my hand in the post office you’ve been pushing about him. Stop pushing. I will let you in my life as much as I want, but if you push too hard, I won’t let you in at all.”
Price swallowed. “I just wanted to help. I thought maybe he and I could help you together.”
“Help me with what, exactly?”
“Help you get out of here,” Price whispered.
“Get out of here?”
“You’re so unhappy working here. I wanted to see if he knew of any options for you to work in London.”
Thomas rested his forearm on the wall and leaned closer to Price. “You’re ridiculous, you know that? You live in a fantasy world. I have no skills beyond service, not anymore. What do you think Eric can do for me?”
“I wasn’t sure,” Price said, crossing his arms. “But you’re right. There’s nothing he can do.”
“So you wrote to him, and he can’t help me. What’s your big plan now to get me out of here?”
“You don’t want to hear it.”
Thomas laughed. “You seriously have another scheme?”
“I did, yes. But I see now that you’re not interested. So forget it.”
Thomas tapped his heel on the ground. “Maybe you should worry about yourself and the life you’re leading. Or not leading, as it were. You obsess over art books and history, and you draw better than anyone I’ve known, yet you’ve decided to scramble your way up the service ladder. And do I even have to mention your watchmaking skills? Your brother is handing you a job on a platter, a job where you would answer to noone, and yet the closest you’ll get is sitting in your lonely little room repairing them in secret.”
“You’re the ridiculous one. ‘Answer to noone’? I’d be answering to my little brother. I love him, and I respect that he took the job I wasn’t capable of doing at the time, but I want to make my own life, not live one under him.”
“Then you’ll understand that I want to make my own life, not have my naive little pet devise one for me.”
Price narrowed his eyes. “I’m sorry you think of me that way.”
“And what about your art? What’s your reason for leaving that in the dust.”
“I wouldn’t know the first thing about any of that. I have no training. I have no portfolio. I have no connections.”
“But you have an imagination, so use it. Stop focusing on how you’re going to fix me, and take a look at yourself,” Thomas said, tapping a finger on Price’s chest.
“I concern myself with your life because I care about you.”
“There’s a difference between being concerned and meddling.”
“I’ve listened. Can I tell you what I think now?”
“Pretty sure I can’t stop you. Go ahead,” Thomas said, letting both arms fall to his sides.
“Whatever you tell me, or whatever you tell yourself, I think you still have feelings for him. If the situation were reversed, and he were the one here, there’s no question you’d be with him. I’m yours because I’m convenient.”
“That’s not true.”
“Which part?”
Thomas thought of Eric, and how he could have easily swept him off his feet that afternoon had he walked into Downton instead of entering in the form of a letter. “You need to learn your boundaries, David, that’s all I’m saying.”
“I understand them clear as crystal now. I’m your naive little pet and I shouldn’t run off my lead.”
“Don’t turn this around on me. I’m not the one going behind your back.”
“I was honest with you about the letter. Now be honest with me about him.”
Thomas let two housemaids walk by before answering. “I would never take up with Eric while I’m with you, but my feelings for him are complicated.”
Price’s shoulders slumped. “I know that. That’s why I push so hard, I suppose. God it hurts actually hearing the words on your lips, though.”
“I can’t say how things would turn out between me and him if they were different. This is my life, and it’s much easier to survive it when I accept my fate and stop worrying about what could have been.”
“That’s so defeatist.”
“Then I suppose I’m defeated.”
Price ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.
“So you won’t write to Eric anymore?”
“You told me not to, so I won’t. I do respect you, despite what you think.”
“You know you’re more than little pet to me.”
“Let’s not do this anymore today. Whatever I may be to you, you mean the world to me. I was wrong to write to him, but I’m not wrong to hope for better things for you.”
“What was your new plan? I want to hear it.”
Price shook his head. “I’m not ready to give up completely, so I’m not telling just yet.” He pulled his jacket straight. “Please go sit with Nora so she can finish her book, I’m really not in the mood now. I’m going to take my broken heart to the pub. You can think I’m being melodramatic if you like.”
“I think I’ve called you enough names today.” Thomas straightened his jacket as well, then headed back to the nursery.
After the family’s dinner, Thomas knocked on Mr. Carson’s office door with a less heavy hand than earlier in the day.
“What can I do for you, Mr. Barrow?” Mr. Carson asked.
“I wanted to come by and apologize.”
Mr. Carson stopped polishing the serving fork in his hand. “I didn’t know you knew the words.”
“I should have waited to be less incensed before coming to your office. Maybe we can talk tomorrow about what I can do to start exceeding your expectations.”
Mr. Carson resumed polishing. He looked at Thomas from under raised eyebrows. “If you’re serious, I would be willing to have the conversation.”
“I am. Quite serious, Mr. Carson. Thank you.”
Mr. Carson shook his head, processing Thomas’s apology.
“Just one more thing. Everything’s wrapped up early tonight, I hoped maybe I could go out for a couple hours?”
“That’s fine, Mr. Barrow.”
Thomas headed straight for his room and changed into a suit, donned his coat, hat, and scarf, and walked to the pub.
Price sat at a small table in the back of the pub playing cards with Lee. There were two empty glasses on the table and two half full, and the men laughed as Price beat Lee at a hand of the game they were playing.
“That’s about enough for me,” Lee said. He put money on the table to cover his drinks.
“You should stay, there’s so much time left before curfew.”
“I have to start getting the Christmas holly ready for the big house tomorrow, it’ll be time to decorate later this week. I’ll see you around the grounds I’m sure,” Lee said. He swigged the rest of his drink and gave Price a handshake goodbye.
Price gathered the cards from the table and shuffled them, laying out a game of solitair. He waved to the barmaid for another drink and began his game.
Lee’s empty chair was pulled away from the table and Price looked up to find a lanky figure looming over him.
“Mind if I join you?” Sean Moore asked, tipping his hat to Price.
“I should say I do,” Price said, pulling the chair back to the table with his foot.
“Awe, that’s not very hospitable,” Moore said, pulling the chair out again, falling into the seat. He tossed his hat on the table.
The barmaid dropped off Price’s beer and Moore ordered one for himself.
“He’s not staying,” Price told the woman.
“Ignore what he says and I’ll give you a better tip than he does,” Moore said, grinning at the woman as she walked away. “That was the gardener with you, right? I should have loved to be a gardener. Know what I realized after I was booted outta Downton?”
“No, and I don’t care,” Price said, collecting his cards back into a neat pile.
“I really do belong outside, working with my hands.” Moore held his hands out to Price. They were weatherbeaten and still had a faint tan from a summer and autumn spent outside.
“Then I guess things worked out for you,” Price said flatly.
Moore laughed. The barmaid dropped off his drink and he winked at her, downed it, and asked her for another. “Oh yes, David, everything’s worked out for me. Since I left Downton with no reference, the only kinds of jobs that’d have me were hard labor or farm labor, so I’m back on the farm. I actually had my eyes on gardener after seeing what kind of work they did at Downton, or at least under-gardener someday, but that’s not in the cards for me now, is it? And I’ve you to thank.”
“I didn’t get you kicked out.”
Moore rested his forearms on the table and leaned toward Price. “Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep through the night?” His blue eyes glimmered. “You ruined my chances of ever working on an estate, David,” Moore said, pronouncing each word sharply.
“I had no idea why you were in trouble.”
Moore leaned back in his chair as the barmaid returned. “I’m not as smart as you, David, but I’m not stupid, neither. You set the whole thing in motion. I know you did, don’t deny it.”
Price drank half his beer in one sip and fidgeted with the glass. “What do you want from me?”
“What I want is to haul off and clobber you, but really I just want to hear that you’re sorry you did this to me.”
“You would have gotten yourself kicked out, anyway.”
Moore laughed again. “I get myself kicked out of everywhere, but at least I do it on my own merit.”
“You said horrible things and made a hideous threat against me, Sean. I really don’t feel that badly that you found yourself without a reference. If you stayed, you would have hurt me or someone else. You promised as much.”
Moore shrugged. “I don’t even remember. Did I threaten you? They were just words, then. I didn’t do anything, now did I?”
“There’s no such thing as ‘just words’ when you say something like that.”
“I guess I’m not surprised you feel justified in your actions. But remember, I never actually did anything to you, yet you humiliated me, and I’ve a black mark on me for life.”
Price tapped the deck of cards on the table. “You tried to push Ellie to be with you, too.”
Moore swigged his drink. “Ah, Ellie. I remember her. Tried, is that what she said? There’s no ‘try’ about it, I succeeded.”
“Always the one to kiss and tell.”
“Oh, David, we did much more than kiss, if you want me to tell.”
“I really, really don’t.”
“Don’t be all high and mighty. You’re the one who first pursued me, if I recall,” Moore said, clinking his glass against Price’s.
“I might have considered asking Mr. Carson to rethink things and write you a letter, but you’ve learned nothing from your experience.”
“I learned something. I learned not to trust a pretty face with hungry lips. He might be holding a knife to stab my back when I turn around. You’re really not the least bit sorry?”
Price swirled the last bit of beer in his glass and drank it. “Guess I’m not. You would be glad to know, though, that you’re just capping off a day where I’ve been made to feel like utter rubbish. You can take that with you.”
“That’s something, at least,” Moore said, rising. He put his hat on and threw down enough money to cover his drinks and Price’s, then nudged his way through the crowd and out the front doors.
Under the front awning, Moore caught site of Thomas approaching. He put his hands in his coat pocket and sauntered slowly toward Thomas.
“If you’re here for your boyfriend, he’s in the back.”
Thomas wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something foul. “You’re still slithering around the village? I figured all of Downton would have been off limits to you by now.”
“Nah,” Moore said, kicking a pebble out of his way. “No one cares as long as I’m not going after any kind of respectable employment.”
“There’s nothing respectable about you, so that sounds about right.”
“I wonder why I bother you so much. Could it be because I got a taste of David before you had a chance?” Moore’s grin widened when he saw Thomas’s stone expression crack.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I think you do,” Moore said with singsong voice. “Or have you not even had a turn with him yet? Ahh, that’s why you’re upset.” Moore filled his lungs with the cold evening air. “Well if you haven’t, you’re really missing out. He’ll do anything you ask him, just throw in an ‘I love you’ here or there and he’ll bend right over.”
Thomas ground his teeth. “Is that so? Just play with his heart and you can get whatever you want out of him?”
Moore nodded. “That’s about the size of it. Oof, and size, my goodness. He’s a little short but he’s not so small all over, am I right? One of my biggest regrets leaving Downton was losing access to him and his willing body. It never hurts to have a little side piece so close to home, you know?”
“I wouldn’t know, because I’m not a repulsive, misbegotten little bastard.”
“Funny. I heard that’s exactly what you are. What the rest of the staff thinks of you, that is.”
“At least I work with a staff. You work with animals, where you belong. Why don’t you head home and get some rest, I’m sure you have to get up nice and early and milk a cow or bale some hay or whatever a farm slave does.”
“That’s fine, that’s fine, and you can go home to your bed, and rest your head on your pillow knowing I’ve had part of me in just about every part of David. And you know what?” Moore said, walking up to Thomas, their chests nearly touching, “he loved every minute of it.”
Thomas pushed Moore away with both hands. Moore stumbled back, still tipsy from his drinks, and laughed. “That all you got?”
Thomas balled his fist and let it crack across Moore’s cheekbone. He stood panting as Moore hunched over.
Moore touched his long fingers to his cheek, then looked at the blood on the tips of them. “You know what, you enjoy the little tart. I may have to do farm work, but at least I can get it up for a woman. Neither of you deviants can say that.”
“It boggles my mind that you can be so hateful about it while still taking up with a man.”
“I don’t take up with any man, just the girly little ones like David. Does he pant and moan like a lady when he’s with you, too?” Moore mimicked feminine, high pitched moaning, “Oh Thomas, oh Thomas!”
Thomas swung again, hitting Moore across his temple. Other men leaving the bar ran over to them, pulling them apart. Thomas was held by the arms until he stopped resisting.
Price stepped out of the bar and, realizing who was causing the commotion, ran over. He put his hand on Thomas’s arm and stared daggers at Moore.
“Go home, Sean,” Price ordered. Moore yanked his arm back from the man holding it and waved them both off.
Price pulled Thomas along with him and Moore left in the opposite direction. “Are you alright?” he asked, examining Thomas’s face for signs of injury.
“I’m fine, except the damage his face did to my hand.”
Price held Thomas’s hand to his face and tsk’d over his bloody knuckles.
“Did he bother you in the bar?” Thomas asked.
“Not as much as it looks like he bothered you. What were you doing here, anyway?”
Thomas adjusted his hat. “I thought maybe you’d drown your sorrows and repeat the behavior you displayed at your birthday party, only there’d be no one to save you from yourself.”
“Do you really care if there had been no one to save me?”
Thomas stretched his hand, feeling it beginning to swell. “You know I care. I’m sorry I was so hard on you.”
“Don’t feel badly. I brought it all on myself. What was I thinking writing to him, and thinking I could hide it from you?” Price tripped on the road.
“You are a bit squiffy, aren’t you?”
“Only a bit. I could have taken care of myself, but I appreciate you came down to be sure. What did he say that made you take a swing at him?”
“Nothing that would shock you from what you’ve told me. I hate to admit it, but I let him get in my head. Now I’m picturing you with him.”
“Don’t do that or he wins.”
“Well I can’t let him win then, can I?”
Price smiled.
“Really, though, David. How could you be with someone like him? I can be difficult now and then, but he’s subhuman.”
“I didn’t realize that about him at the time, obviously.”
“Then you should be more careful before you bed somebody next time.”
Price stopped where he stood on the sidewalk. He felt dizzy and hot, and pushed away Thomas’s hand when he reached for him.
“What? You’re more than a little drunk, aren’t you?”
“Thomas! You just made a reference to the ‘next time’ I’m with someone. Someone who isn’t you.”
“Bloody hell, David. I just walloped a man for besmirching your name and you’re going to pick on the next thing I say?”
“You hit him because of me?”
Thomas began walking again. “You can be so obtuse.”
“What things did he say?” Price asked, catching up to Thomas.
“I don’t want to think of it again.”
“Then I won’t ask again,” Price said. As they reached the much less traveled roads by the farms, Price linked his arm through Thomas’s and pulled him close. “Maybe you should stick your hand in some snow before you swell up around your glove.”
“That makes two, you know.”
“Two what?”
“Two gloves that have become bloodied because of you.”
Price was silent and Thomas looked at him. There was a little grin on his face.
“What?”
“I shouldn’t say.”
“What, David?”
Price squeezed Thomas’s arm tighter. “Only that I can afford to buy you several gloves with all my new first footman money.”
Thomas sighed and squeezed Price’s arm in return. “Why? Why do I always fall for the cheeky one?”
…...
Thomas burned through two cigarettes anticipating his meeting with Mr. Carson that morning. He put on his most pleasant face, drank a cup of tea, and joined Mr. Carson in his office.
Mr. Carson motioned for Thomas to sit, and then sat in his chair behind his desk. “So, Mr. Barrow. You wanted to talk about your performance.”
“Yes, Mr. Carson, and what I can do better in future.”
“And this was suddenly brought on by David receiving a promotion?”
Thomas adjusted himself in his chair. “Not just that, no. Perhaps I’ve been a bit complacent as under-butler. I’m about as high as I can go, in this house anyway, and so maybe I’ve felt there’s nothing to strive for.”
“In that case, what is it that you want to strive for?”
Thomas’s eyes darted back and forth before settling back on Mr. Carson’s. “Well butler, naturally. I’m under-butler and my next position would be butler.”
“Naturally, would it?”
“Why, what else would I be? I wouldn’t go backward, surely. I’m also a trained valet, but that would be a lateral position at best.”
“Complacent is a good word to describe yourself, only you’ve been complacent in every position you’ve held at Downton.”
“I have to disagree. I put in a great deal of effort and many years to get where I am.”
“You’ve wanted title and position, but the work is third or fourth priority to you. If you were butler, you would have to work much harder than you do today, and you would have much more responsibility. There’s no room for fraternizing.”
“Fraternizing? Doesn’t that require having friends first?”
“You’re missing the point. I’m saying there’s much less free time as butler. You would also need to give orders and be taken seriously when they’re given.”
“I’ve had to give orders here many times, and I work hard when there’s hard work to do,” Thomas said, unable to hide that he was feeling defensive.
Mr. Carson folded his hands and rested them on the desk. “I’ve stuck my neck out for you on many occasions because you are good at your work and you want to succeed. I see it, and so does his Lordship, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. However, I’m not convinced you want to be butler. I think you would become frustrated and overwhelmed, and you would lose your patience and then ultimately lose your job. I’m not saying this to you to be unkind. You seemed to want to have an honest conversation and so I’m being honest.”
“So I’m to be under-butler for life? Thirty or so more years in the same position?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. Mr. Barrow, look at me.”
Thomas looked up, not realizing he had been staring down at the floor. “What are you saying, Mr. Carson?”
“I think you need to stop looking at your career like some game where, one day, you will be the winner, whatever that has meant to you in your mind. If you really do think butler is the next job for you, then why don’t you spend a day handling my tasks?”
“Where would you be?”
“I’d be here to help you, but not direct you. The guest list for dinner tomorrow is short, but if you should feel overwhelmed, then I’ll step in to help.”
“Why would you do that for me?”
Mr. Carson gave Thomas a small, sympathetic smile. “You think I detest you, but that’s not the case. Maybe I don’t quite understand you, or always have patience for your mischief, but I don’t detest you. You’ve been here a long time, and I would like your next position to be something that truly suits you.”
“But it’s not butler.”
“Well we shall see, starting tomorrow. That is, if you want to give it a try.”
“I would very much like to try,” Thomas said. He stood and Mr. Carson rose as well. “Thank you, Mr. Carson. Your kind words mean more than I can say.”
Mr. Carson stopped Thomas before he could leave. “What happened to your hand?”
Thomas looked down at his knuckles. “Oh, that. I slipped on ice last night.”
“And you braced yourself with your fist? If you want to be butler someday, do try getting into less of that mischief I mentioned.”
Thomas considered arguing, but instead said simply, “Yes, Mr. Carson,” and nodded as he left.
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